Surprised no one’s picked up on this… would be less surprised if no one cared any more. A little over ten years ago, a game was announced, and it was called Duke Nukem Forever. And it has been a joke amongst, well, everyone ever since.
Directly lifted from some site I can’t remember, things that have happened since DNF’s announcement:
Popular Video Game Series Releases
Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy VIII
Final Fantasy IX
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy X-2
Final Fantasy XI
Final Fantasy XII
Cell Phone Games
Before Crisis: Final Fantasy
Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII
Dirge of Cerberus: Lost Episode
Final Fantasy Tactics
Final Fantasy Tactice Advance
Crystal Chronicles Series
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearer
Final Fantasy Collection
Final Fantasy Anthology
Final Fantasy Chronicles
Final Fantasy Origins
Final Fantasy I & 2: Dawn of Souls
Final Fantasy III DS
Games Featuring Final Fantasy Characters
Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix
Kingdom Hearts II
Movies, Anime Series & Concerts
Final Fantasy: The Sprits Within
Final Fantasy: Unlimited, Entire Series
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Final Fantasy: Dear Friends, Entire World Tour
Grand Theft Auto:
Grand Theft Auto
Grand Theft Auto, Gameboy Color Port
Grand Theft Auto
Grand Theft Auto: London 1969
Grand Theft Auto: London 1961
Grand Theft Auto 2
Grand Theft Auto III
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Grand Theft Auto Advance
Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories
Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, PS2 Port
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
Grand Theft Auto IV
The Legend of Zelda:
Ocarina of Time
Oracle of Ages
Oracle of Seasons
The Wind Waker
Four Swords Adventures
The Minish Cap
Six remakes of previous Zelda titles for the Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance and Gamecube.
Link’s Awakening DX, Gameboy Color
A Link to the Past, Gameboy Advance
Ocarina of Time, Gamecube
The Zelda Collector Edition, Gamecube
Classic NES Series: The Legend of Zelda, Gameboy Advance
Classic NES Series: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, Gameboy Advance
The Sims: Livin’ Large
The Sims: House Party
The Sims: Hot Date
The Sims: Vacation
The Sims: Unleashed
The Sims: Superstar
The Sims: Makin’ Magic
The Sims Online
The Sims 2
The Sims 2: University
The Sims 2: Nightlife
The Sims 2: Open for Business
The Sims (Console Port)
The Sims Bustin’ Out
The Sims 2 (Console Port)
The Urbz: Sims in the City
Other Popular Game Series:
Over 75 games based in the MegaMan universe, and 12 games featuring MegaMan universe character cameos.
Over 50 games based in the Star Wars universe.
Mario has appeared in 58 different video games.
Every Massive Multiplayer Online game and expansion with the exception of Meridian 59.
Every Dance Dance Revolution and Bemani rhythm game
Every Pokemon game released outside of Japan.
Every Unreal, every Unreal Tournament, and every game that has used any of the Unreal engines.
Quake 2, 3, 4, and countless games that have used their engines.
Every Tony Hawk and extreme sport spin-off game.
Daikatana began development 10 days before Duke Nukem Forever- Unfortunately no one was made John Romero’s bitch when it hit retail shelves on May 23rd, 2000.
3DRealms and Remedy bring Max Payne and its sequel from concepts to finished games, porting both to Xbox and PS2.
Valve released both Half-Life 1 and 2, with several expansion packs and countless mods for each.
Every version of Counter-Strike and Counter-Strike Source were developed.
Every Thief game.
Black Isle was formed, released seven titles and was shut down.
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind and IV:Oblivion, and the entire Baldur’s Gate series.
Wizards of the Coast has printed six Core Sets, 30 Expansion Sets of Magic: The Gathering. If someone bought one of every single card printed since DNF was announced, they would have a collection of approximately 101,742 cards.
Every installment of Metal Gear Solid released to date, as well as Ghost Babel (MGS for the Gameboy) and the Metal Gear Acid series for PSP. And it is likely that the the apparent conclusion of Solid Snake’s legacy, “Guns of the Patriots,” will come out before DNF.
A garage full of programmers in Croatia (Croteam) developed the engine and created the game Serious Sam. Since then there have been multiple sequels and console ports- all off a fraction of the money 3D Realms has blown on DNF’s development.
Every 3D Prince of Persia game.
Aside from Wolfenstein 3D, every single First Person Shooter based during World War II, including the entire Medal of Honor series.
While DNF has been in production, Blizzard Entertainment, another studio famous for delays, has released four full games(Starcraft, Diablo 2, Warcraft 3, and World of Warcraft), with expansions for three (four when Burning Crusade comes out).
Bioware released Neverwinter Nights with two expansions, Star Wars: Nights of the Old Republic, and Jade Empire. All games are deep, lengthy RPGs that demand multiple playthroughs.
Video Game Systems:
Microsoft XBOX 360
Nintendo Gameboy Color
Gameboy Advance SP
Nintendo DS Lite
Sony Playstation 2
Sony Slim Playstation 2
Over 4500 games were released for the above video game systems in the United States.
Over 350,000,000 consoles and handhelds were sold worldwide.
Computers & Internet:
In 1997, the fastest consumer internet connection was a 33.6 kbps modem. On average, consumer internet connections are 300 times faster today.
When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, the fastest processor available to consumers was a 233Mhz Pentium. Since then the clock speed of consumer processors has increased over 16 times (32 times counting dual cores), and the fabrication process has decreased from 250nm to 65nm.
In October of 2001, Apple announced the iPod and Slashdot dismissed it as an immediate failure. Since then there have been 5 generations of iPods, as well as the iPod Mini, iPod Shuffle, and iPod Nano with 42 million iPods sold worldwide as of 1/06.
Steve Jobs was still running NeXT when Duke Nukem Forever was announced.
Every peer to peer file sharing program including Napster was developed.
In April of 1997, Google, eBay, and the term “weblog” didn’t exist.
Linux gained at least 10 times the popularity it had while its kernel tripled in size.
Mac OS switched to UNIX and became the most highly regarded general purpose operating system on the market among the computing press.
Microsoft released 5 consumer-oriented versions of Windows and might release Vista before Duke Nukem Forever hits shelves.
Netscape Navigator 4 was released, Microsoft Internet Explorer destroyed it. Netscape 6 released on an entirely different rendering platform, Netscape dies, Mozilla foundation rises. Open-source Mozilla browsers become popular and force Microsoft to start working on new version of Internet Explorer.
Valve releases Steam and sets a new standard in digital software distribution.
MySpace has gone from beta to the largest social-networking site in the world (and the fourth most popular English language website).
There have been 125 tropical cyclones. 73 hurricans in the Atlantic, 52 typhoons in the Pacific.
There have been over 20 death-toll producing tornado outbreaks in the United States.
Over 50 major earthquakes have shaken the world, which have shortened the Earth day by 2.68 microseconds.
Adjusted for inflation, the average price of gas in the United States has doubled.
The Euro was introduced as a new European currency.
Enron has filed for bankruptcy and folded. Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling have been arrested on fraud charges and subsequently indicted and convicted. In addition, they will most likely be sentenced before Forever is released.
Movies that were filmed, released in theatres, and have made it to DVD:
All three Star Wars prequels.
The entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, with extended editions.
Every Pixar movie aside from Toy Story.
Three (possibly four) James Bond films.
Every movie, animation, and video game from The Matrix series.
Every Marvel comics movie released.
Each predictable twist ending of every movie by M. Night Shyamalan.
Britney Spears’ entire musical career as a pop star has taken place during Duke Nukem Forever’s development.
Theater box office totals since the announcement are over $2.62 billion.
Colin Farrell’s entire movie career has also taken place during development.
The concept of Bullet Time has been developed, pioneered, and completely run in to the ground.
Cellular Phones ownership has become commonplace, whereas in 1997 they were viewed as luxurious expenditures.
The entire cult following of Family Guy! Family Guy has debuted on FOX, been cancelled, entered syndication, been released on DVD, redebuted on FOX, and seen the release of a feature film.
Six Harry Potter Books have been released, and four films produced.
Stephen King has written 16 novels.
The first episode of South Park was first aired on August 13, 1997, the same year in which DNF was announced. The show is now in the second half of it’s tenth season, with ‘Tsst’ being the 146 episode shown.
King of the Hill first aired on January 12 of the same year, around the same time prototype work was being done in the Quake Engine for DNF. It recently finished it’s tenth season, with 201 episodes.
The episode count of ‘The Simpsons’ has more then doubled since DNFs announcement. Season 8, episode 23 was the 176th episode, and aired on May fourth, 1997. The 352nd episode aired on May 1st, 2005.
Twelve seasons of Survivor. The Thirtenth comes this fall.
The ending of Star Trek shows Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and the beginning and ending of Enterprise, plus the films First Contact, Insurrection and Nemesis.
Joss Whedon showed us that he truly is our master with every Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Firefly episode. (Oh, and the movie Serenity.)
Science & Technology:
The Voyager 1 spacecraft has travelled 8.8 billion miles from Earth.
The two Mars rovers, Spirit and Opportunity were proposed, authorized, announced, designed, launched and successfully landed upon Mars where they have been exploring the surface for over 2.5 years.
NASA’s Deep Impact program also went full circle.
The International Space Station was assembled and has been orbiting Earth for over 8 years.
NASA has launched 30 manned space shuttle missions, Russia has launched 17.
The Airbus A380 “Super Jumbo” plane was designed, built, tested, and delivered to airlines.
Tier One developed, built, tested, and launched SpaceShipOne- winning the Ansari X-Prize for being the first non-government organization to launch a reusable manned spacecraft into space twice within two weeks.
In 1997 there were only 50 million US cell phone subscribers in the United States. Today there are more than 200 million, which amounts to over 60% of the population of the USA.
The U.S.S. Ronald Reagan (the largest nuclear-powered aircraft carrier in the world) was in contract, built, launched, comissioned, and began active duty.
Costa Concordia, the biggest Italian cruise liner was designed, built and delivered by the Fincantieri shipyards, in Italy.
The Space Shuttle Columbia burnt up during re-entry, the entire Space Shuttle program went through a safety overhaul, and the Shuttle returned to flight.
Since the announcement of Duke Nukem Forever, the single season home run record has been broken. Twice.
The Red Sox broke their curse by finally winning the world series.
Two of the greatest NBA Dynasties in history have reigned and ended: The incredible 1990s Chicago Bulls dynasty were still unmatched in '97 and disbanded after the '98 finals. The Los Angeles Lakers acquired Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal in '97 and Phil Jackson in '99, effectively becoming the greatest team in the NBA at the time with another landmark dynasty that lasted from 2000-2002. The Lakers disbanded after losing the finals to the Pistons in 2004.
There have been five Olympic Games (three winter, two summer).
Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France 7 consecutive years.
The World Wrestling Federation has changed its name to World Wrestling Entertainment and bought its two main competitors, WCW and ECW, relaunching ECW, and facing new competition from TNA.
The Cubs have lost 798 games since April ‘97.
St. Louis Cardinals moved from Busch Stadium to new Busch stadium.
Philidelphia Phillies moved from Veterans Stadium to Citizens Bank Ballpark.
The Houston Astros moved from the Astrodome to Enron Field (Now Minute-Maid Park).
The Cincinnati Reds moved from Cinergy Field to Great American Ballpark.
The Milwaukee Brewers moved from County Stadium to Miller Park.
The San Diego Padres moved from Qualcomm stadium to Petco Park.
The Pittsburgh Pirates moved from Three-River Stadium to PNC Park.
The Detroit Tigers moved from Tiger Stadium to Comerica Park.
The Seattle Mariners moved from The Kingdome to Safeco Field.
The Montreal Expos are now the Washington Nationals.
The Arizona Diamondbacks and Tampa Bay Devil Rays were formed.
The Cleveland Browns turned into the Baltimore Ravens.
A new Cleveland Browns team was formed and moved into a new stadium.
The Cincinnati Bengals moved from Cinergy Field to Paul Brown Stadium.
The New England Patriots moved from Foxboro Stadium to Gillete Stadium.
The Tennessee Titans moved into The Coliseum after 3 years at a college football stadium.
The Pittsburgh Steelers moved from Three-Rivers Stadium to Heinz Field.
The Denver Broncos moved from Mile High Stadium to Invesco Field.
The Washington Redskins moved from RFK Stadium to FedEx Field.
The Phildelphia Eagles moved from Veterans Stadium to Lincoln Financial Field.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers moved from Houlihan Stadium to Raymond James Stadium.
The Detroit Lions moved from the Silverdome to Ford Field.
The Seattle Seahawks moved from the Kingdome to Qwest Field.
Brette Farve has passed for 34,891yards while the careers of Ryan Leaf and Cade McNown began, sucked, and ended.
United States Politics:
The Identity of Deep Throat has been revealed.
40 new members have been elected to the Senate.
The national debt has increased by over 3 trillion dollars.
The national minimum wage has remained $5.15.
Bill Clinton finished his presidential term, George W. Bush was elected and re-elected.
4 nations have acquired nuclear weapons technology.
19 wars have begun.
5 wars have ended.
Approximately 509,373,306 people have died and 661,373,082 have been born.
There have been 7 total solar eclipses and 8 total lunar eclipses.
The United Kingdom handed sovereignty of Hong Kong to the People’s Republic of China.
Things that have taken less time than Duke Nukem Forever’s Development:
The Beatles formed, released every single one of their albums and broke up. During this time they also toured the world several times.
Led Zeppelin released 7 albums, 9 singles, and toured around the world, crossing international borders 27 times (not counting mainland Europe.)
Science & Technology:
The Wright brothers designed and flew the first airplane.
The theory of General Relativity.
The United States’ entire program to put a man on the moon, from Kennedy’s challenge to the landing.
The American War for Independence
The United States Civil War
World War I
World War II and the entire Manhattan Project.
The United State’s involvement in the Vietnam War.