http://tartarus.rpgclassics.com/~feda/index.shtml
Have at it.
I’m sorry, but I’ve seemed to have forgotten how it should be at’d.
What are we supposed to be doing again?
Home Page: Looks good. Short, but to the point.
Characters Page: The index table looks great. Individual charcters seem to have loads of useful info. The sreenshots are a nice plus, too. The onlny thing I can see that might be off for this page is the statistics. They all say that they’re taken at level 45. If this is character level 45, then this info will be useless unless they’re on that level.
Emblems Page: The pictures are a nice touch and the explanation of consequences for chooses what emblem is in depth. You might try putting the emblem images in 3 columns side-by-side to prevent having to scroll down so far to get to the information; however, this is not imperative and the single column effect does give it a balance betwwen the good and evil emblems. You’re missing a period at the end of this sentance:
If your emblem is Law, El, Ellis, Shane, Jenny, Arby, Richard, and Shim will join your army, while the characters of Chaos won’t do it
Enemies Page: Nice decision to break them up alphabetically. You might try putting a reference link at the top of each page, for each letter, like you’ve done on other pages, but besides this. It seems to ahve any information that a player could possibly want on the enemies they might be facing. Some enemies on the list are labeled in yellow font instead of white. I have no idea what this means
Hints and Tips Page: Bolding key words was a nice choice. The reference link at the top is helpful. All information seems to be there for each one. Try going over the page to missing periods at the end of your senatances.
Items Page: Excellent layout. All the information is helpful and nothing seems to missing for each item. You note that there are other items and weapons, so it might be best to put in either a comment or link to direct them to these.
Map and Battle Options Page: This page had a few problems. First, the title says Map and battle options, but within the page, you have Map, Camp, and Battle options. The link and name page should either more vague or include “Camp” in the link/page title. If you could also capitalize all key words in the title, it would look more appealing. The links all work, but they are set up slightly different than those on the previous page (the links for hints are in-between line breaks images, while on this page there is only one above) - inconsistancy can confuse people. The font size on this page is HUGE in comparison to previous pages and then changes size about half way down the page. Despite all this, the content of the page is once again very useful and the images provide a helpful referance point to any who might be viewing the page.
Reviving Units Page: Excellent page content. The screen shots are extremely helpful for this kind of page; players will no exactally where to go! Good job on that. All the sentances end with periods :). The link says reviving units, but the page says Reviving a Character. Please choose one. Same thing as before for capitalizing key words in the page titile. Think of how you would write the title for a book.
Shops Page: Perfect layout. Perfect info. Shop 1-7 or shop 8-13 need to lose or gain a period respectively in the location phrases to provide consistency. Pictures are agin a good touch with all the best info to go along.
Spells/Special Techniques Page: Capital letters in the title again, but besides taht…the same as the Shops page only better. You’ve included everything that any player could ever want on this page. The larger sceen shots at the bottom are amazing and the layout is perfect for this kind of page.
Walkthrough Pages: AWESOME. The area index is an excellent desicion in duo with the “next” link at the bottom of each page. Bolded key words throughout are great visual magnets to important parts and the highlights/boxes on the screen shots show just where to go with excellent explanations. Looking through these pages, I’ve found nothing wrong and everything right. I really liked the picture that went along with “The End”. It’s clear that you put alot of time and effort into this.
Weapons Page: The link says weapons, but the page includes Armor, also. Caps in the title. You might want to add reference links to the top of the page like you have on previous pages. Instead of leaving the special abilities slot blank, I suggest putting in something like “No Apecial Ability”, “N/A”, or something similiar. The astrices are slightly confusing because the note is at the top. I suggest putting a second note at the bottom, becasue that’s where I went to look first to see what it meant. The page content looks great and includes everything that might be useful. Grammer looks great. I like the picures (again) and how everything is bolded.
OVERALL: Excellent work. The content looks great and it’s clear you’ve put alot of time and effort into this. I suggest looking through each page to check for and puctuation errors (ie. missing periods) as well as capitalizing all key words in the page titles. Good job!
While I can concur with most of what TrkJak said I would like to mention a few of my own nitpicks.
First the Characters’ Page. I don’t see a problem with your decision to compare and contrast characters’ stats at level 45. If I need to point out anything on this page it would be towards some of the important miscellaneous info like movement. A quick bolding would make it much easier to spot.
Now the Walkthrough Pages. There are three things I would like to point out. First is the walkthrough’s main page. You have titles in each of the walkthrough pages, but you could add titles to each of the 12 areas on the main page to give a better indication of what part of the game does that particular section describe.
The second thing I wanted to point out was the bottom paragraph in the second area walkthrough. You trying to describe alot of activity going on in that paragraph, but some grammical errors make it difficult to understand what exactly is going on. My suggestion would be to either split the paragraph in two, or to provide an additional image or two showing what’s going on.
The last thing I wanted to mention was perhaps an Overworld/Area Map(s). I will admit that I’ve never actually played this game before I sense that, from the activities that you’ve described, there maybe larger area/world maps involved, ones that can be traversed at the discretion of the player. Especially if opitonal/random battles occur at some points.
All and All a very good shrine that just needs alittle bit of extra spit-shine to make it really sparkle. 22.5/25
And one for TrkJak
Originally Posted by Above
Some enemies on the list are labeled in yellow font instead of white. I have no idea what this means
From what I gathered those are bosses.
That’s what I thought they were, too, but I had no way of knowing for certain. The way I put it has a more dramatic effect than simply stating this, though.
Little comment regarding the characters page: The line for the special defenses looks a little awkward. Having one letter followed by 3 symbols with no conspicuous seperation between the four types of special defenses isn’t the clearest way to indicate this, I think. Also, writing out Fire, Water, Lightning, and Earth would be easier than the note following that statistic.
yes, yes… excellent rubs hands together
So when do we get the next one, Oh ‘Grand Poo~bah?’
Not that I’m the grand poo-bah that you’re speaking to, but the next one will come when the next one is ready to be reviewed. Generally speaking, that part comes when a shrine creator believes he’s finished a shrine.