I would like to start a thread dedicated to the stupid things you have done while playing D&D. Think of it as the D&D Darwin awards. Here you may post the most dumb and/or humiliating times you have either gotten your character killed or nearly killed. Be free to submit the horrible blunders of your friends as well. Yes, I know these sorts of threads pop up every few months but please humor me.
Perhaps at the end I will award an imaginary prize to the dumbest d&d player out there.
Well, I rarely do anything stupid to cause me getting killed (usually it’s in glorious battle), but my friends are real idiots. Like the time they decided to take on a RustMonster by themselves when they had metal weapons. Here’s a recent event:
We had gone off the path we had taken to enter a field, because we heard a strange noise. We entered, and almost immediately fifteen arrows, fired by goblins from behind a small raised bit of ground, were fired at us with tenough accuracy to put elves o shame. So, we ran to escape. Our wizard was hit and became unconscious, so I actually went back in the face of danger to grab her, slung her over my shoulder, and returned to the rest of the party. We came back to the path, and we hd a choice: Go back the way we came on the path, where we knew what laid beyond, or go the other way, when we had no idea what lay in store for us. Wanna guess what everyone else chose to do? -_-
Ooh, ooh, they went the other way, right?
Better the devil you know than the one you don’t I suppose. But that is certinaly a qualifier
Oh, I forgot to mention, we encountered a giant when we went the other way. I survived, and got the Ring of Fire Protection, see my other thread below for more details.
And now it’s above. laughs
And now it isn’t.
And now it is again.
But I thoguht they would ahve headed back to the goblins…
One of my many fighters got stepped on by a Tarrasque. He died instantly.
The end.
Or else, we had rolled up an homemade class, it was called “Fireworker”, because of the class’s ability to use gunpowder in various means. It could fabricate AND use bombs.
He gets captured by a humanovore orc tribe, an orc looks at the bombs they had recuperated from him.
“Throw the bomb into the fire!” the fireworker says. The orc did it.
Let’s just say that their lunch was charbroiled.
its been a while since Ive played and not DMed so Ill start off with an NPC
he was a 9th level wizard who had created a tower that was draining the life from all of the countryside in order to get enough energy to kill all humans (because he thought it would stop a prophecy of a human destroying the world which he was ironicly about to fulfill)
the party’s barbarian rushed at the wizard (I think he was either level 6 or 7) and Mudcap (playing rogue, he had started later and was at 3rd level) crept around the room, the sorceror who was supposed to be with them didnt show up but they insisted on playing this anyway
the wizard (who was supposed to be thwarted but escape) nimbly dodged the barbarian and cast finger of death
he rolled his save and got a 1, the barbarian collapsed and the wizard laughed, Mudcap stabbed into him with his dagger, sneak attack critical
killed the wizard in 1 hit with max rolls ;_;
needless to say he got a huge XP bonus on that one
the barbarian was revived and Mudcap got the 1 million GP reward (which he wasnt supposed to get) but instead of sharing it with his partner he went to a village with people he liked and gave them each an equal amount of the gold
he didnt give it to them, he just used his thievery skills to sneak the money into their houses and carve a picture of a cat (his symbol) near where he left the huge pile of gold, this eventually lead to a long running myth that the village was protected by a great cat spirit
he had an odd habit of reverse pick-pocketing as well, he was ALWAYS a drain on the money in the game so I never had to worry about giving too much gold after that 
Originally posted by Elf Slayer
PS. Logged in to PM Val and couldn’t resist to post this.
If by that you mean you copy/pasted something out of a PM, then that kinda defeats the purpose of PMs, no?
Also, if that’s what that means, you will die soon. And not by my hand.
No, he just meant he was Pming me to log onto ICQ. This is Hunter, my former Lover on RPGC.
Well, one time, I killed this devil guy (in one turn, go me), and got a necklace of fireballs. I was going to save the fireballs until a time when I really needed them. So we go to this town, and learn of a place called Brightstone Keep that is infested with what else, but orcs. So, we go there. The keep is on this big plateu with a path leading up to it. This is how it is set up…
Me (Dwarven Barbarian/Fighter/Berserk) on my warbeast Rhinoceros, accompanied by a human cleric, and NPC dwarven fighter. We go up the path.
Above, our two spellcasters (a dwarven wizard and a halfling sorcerer) are flying on a griffon.
So, I have my rhinoceros bust down the purtcullis in blocking us on the land, and we storm. There are three towers, with 9 orcs on each. In the center, there are two trolls and a winterwolf. So, we start off and the wizard drops a flaming sphere on one of the towers while our sorcerer startrs pelting them with magic missle. On my first turn, I whip out one of my necklace fireballs (one of the two most powerful ones, 7D6 fire damage) and aim it so I can hit the two trolls. I throw it, it explodes, I roll damage. I do a total of 10. It sucked. The cleric starts bashing stuff with his mace and the fighter attacks with his greataxe. The orcs either shoot with bows or start going down the towers.
Next turn, our spell casters go on with their same spells. Im pissed now, since i just wasted a fireball. So i charge at the troll, leap off of my rhinoceros in mid charge, hack a troll three times (two attacks +2 weapon fighting) with my great axes, at the same time my rhinoceros gores him. I land on my rhinoceros as the toll falls dead. The other two guys hack and bludgeon away at the guys. Then the orcs come out of the towers. There is one leader at each tower, and 8 warriors.
This clan used bastard swords, and the leaders had flaming ones. So we start taking out their warriors. I go after one of the leaders, and then another leader comes up to me as well. There is smoke pouring out of his mouth. I start screaming “No God no!!! Ahh!!” as he breathes fire on me, courtesy of a fire breath potion. My necklace explodes, seperating my head from my body. The blast incinerates my body as well as the cleric who was near me. My rhinoceros lived.
Now, above us, the two spellcasters on the griffon are cloaked by an invisibility sphere. They see my head fly up at them, and the griffon catches it in his mouth. The rest of the party sees this as a good time to escape. They dive down, and pick up the dwarven fighter (the griffon snatches him with his claws) and they also grab the clerics arm which was the only part left of him. So, this is what the orcs see:
Dawrf explodes. Head flies up into the air. Head starts floating in air. Other dwarf suddenly starts flying away, with a severed arm.
The party quickly took us back to the town, where they paid the high cleric to revive us with true ressurection. We come back, equipmentless. My character is pissed. So with out leftover money I go buy another axe and soem chain shirt, and we head back to the keep. They spellcasters repeat their plan, take to the air on the griffon. The cleric, the fighter, and me sneak up the path.
The wizard cloaks himself with invisibility sphere and goes into the camp, and starts getting our weapons and stuff, and going to the entrance where we are hiding and hands us our stuff. He also slips be a firebreath potion…vengeance. After we have enough of our equipment to survive in combat, we charge in. Oh yeah, by the way, my rhinoceros is now dead thanks to a murder hole. He was right at the entrance, so we used him as covber. But it made me even more pissed. I drink a firebreath potion, and we charge in. I go all insane and rage and hunt down the dude that blew me up and start scorching him while everyone else starts attacking the other guys, who are all sitting around a huge fire. So i kill the leader dude, and then we kill them all and stuff.
So yeah, I guess the funny and dumb thing was me exploding. I could write pages about stupid stuff me and my group have done, but I’ll spare you.
My first campaign I ever played was with my brother in law while visiting him and my sister. I was basically learning the rules more than anything. So we hear about this town that has had some weird shit going down. We decide to go there to investigate.
First try to walk to town: 2 behirs eat us.
Second try: Orc ambush in the middle of the night with critical fails on listen and spot checks. Death ensues.
Screw going to town: We burn down a house with some ruffians in it, find a secret passage and my rogue gets hit with a wyvern poison trap, I barely lived, but my party didn’t survive the battle in the next room. Last I heard, my rouge was still recovering at the temple he got to.
Third try: We make it to town. Yay. So we go to the local pub and hear about an abondened keep. We decide to go, note that it is around 8 in the evening when we head to the keep. We arrive around 10, and head in. 2 Wraiths are there. We off them, but are hurting a bit. Then from the darkness “mmm fresh meat” out comes a young blue dragon that procedes to torch everyone with me being the only one concious and at 0 hp, everyone eles was at -10 or more. I procede to cuss the dragon out in draconic. -30 hp.