Behemoth, Black Dahlia Murder, Nile, King Diamond live...


While the first three bands were fucking awesome, you have absolutely not lived until you have fucking seen King Diamond in concert. The whole thing… God damn. King Diamond has such a sense of theatre… plus women writhed around a lot. I’ll say more later.

I only know who King Diamond is. But I am very happy for you that you get to see bands you really like. I might get to see Melt Banana for free!

I wouldn’t mind seeing those bands live. Well, with the exception of Black Dhalia Murder, I’m not a big fan of those guys.

Yeah yeah… that would be enjoyable for me.

Alas, I suck, and I live in the worst spot in the entire country of the US to go to concerts.

Illinois… worst part of the country to see concerts? HA!

I’d say that North Dakota would be the worst. Hell, the whole area I live in, and the states surrounding it (Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota) really has no concerts at all, except at the colleges.

And don’t even get me started on Alaska…

Ohh dag… I suck. Ok, how’s this: It’s the worst place in the US that I have been to for concerts…


Yeah, Alaska definately takes the cake for least amount of concerts. Good ones atleast.

They were pretty good until the lead growler (:-P) took off his shirt. He’s a fucking fatass. Also, they had some asshole on the stage who was one of their friends or something, and he kept spitting soda all over audience and band members… it looked like one of the guitarists was getting reaaaaally pissed at him.

Good for you. The only frequent concerts around here are Black Metal, Jazz or Blues. Which would’ve been fine hadn’t disliked Black Metal, hated Jazz and loathed Blues. Stupid Rogaland.

What about Turbonegro? they’re from Norway


Turboneger. They haven’t had any concerts around here, besides, I don’t like them much.

Isn’t Apoptygma Berzerk from Norway? I bet they would play some awesome shows.

Wow, that sounds like heaven to me. Black metal, Jazz, and Blues. YUM!

Hahah, that fuckin sucks dude. What’s up with big fat people at concerts in the United States? I was at a Megadeth concert in Seattle, and there was numerous fat people that were ruining the experience, and one even took off his shirt. Fucking gross shit.

Gross fat people? You’re at an RPG message board. You’re describing about 70% of the people reading your post.

I don’t mind fat people, as long as they don’t take their shirt off and start jumping around, sweating. I was fat once, and believe me, I wasn’t dumb enough to do that. I also wasn’t dumb enough to have a tattoo that says “HEARTBURN” right below my belly button.

Anyway, I keep forgetting to give details about the concert:

Behemoth: fucking awesome! I couldn’t understand a thing they were saying, because they’re from Poland (the only Polish death metal band that I know of), but that didn’t stop them from being the second best band there. Yeah, even better than Nile (although their styles are very similar). I said it, bitches! I had never even heard of them before I got details about the concert, but that’s okay. The guy wore a really fucking cool mask, which is the same one that is shown on the first page of their website (Behemoth! \m/ ) during the last song, and had big spiked metal boots the size of his fucking legs! The only downside was that my girlfriend thought that one of them was hot. (:-P)

I already told you a lot of what happened at the Black Dahlia Murder part of the show, but despite sweaty fat people with terrible tattoos, they had a pretty damn good sound. They were quite… I dunno… they had really good guitar melody for being a death metal band. My girlfriend also said that they look like the least metal people on Earth, which is true, but I didn’t want to say it. I wasn’t really gonna say this until I noticed the drummer had a Linkin Park shirt on. You know what I say to that, though? Fucking awesome. Thank God there is a band out there that isn’t afraid to say that they have musical interests outside of metal, including “traitors” like Linkin Park. Rock on, Black Dahlia Murder. And the vocalist’s Metallica shirt was pretty cool before he took it off.

Nile was Goddamned awesome (I got their Black Seeds of Vengeance tee shirt [that’s the design on the front of the shirt]. What’s really awesome about Nile is that they sing all about Egyption hystory and mythology, which is a great change of pace from the the “Diediedie Christians” attitude of Behemoth and the “Zombies! More zombies! AND GODZILLA!” lyrics of Black Dahlia Murder. The only unfortunate thing is that uh… they played one of their new songs from their upcoming album, and they played for about a half an hour for that one song. Yeah. It was really good, it just wasn’t thirty minutes good, if you know what I mean. It would have been twenty minutes good, though. Of course, what do I expect when Nile has progressive tendencies? They were fucking awesome anyway.

King Diamond. King fucking Diamond… wow. That was the most awesome show of all. First of all, edging away from King himself (since he clearly was the band), I’ll discuss the rest of the players. There were three guitarists, two of whom “fought” for a lot of the time with their guitars (and were awesome) and a third who was just… God. The drummer, I honestly didn’t pay that much attention to. I usually don’t shrugs. Then there was the female vocalist, whose job was to come out every once and a while and sing a couple of lines at the same as King Diamond and not be heard, but it’s okay because it looked like she was having oral sex with the mic (:-P). Of course I can’t forget the girl who writhed around, helping King Diamond tell the story of a lot of his albums. King Diamond himself was the best part, though… he was a fucking actor. I mean, he could sing damned well, but he was clearly center-stage, carried himself very well and his motions were almost graceful. In the beginning when he cut Abigail (the stillborn baby in his concept album appropriately named Abigail ), I knew that it would be a good show. He did a lot from Abigail," and “Welcome Home” from Them, which was creepy as fuck. He also played some from Puppet Master, Conspiracy, Voodoo, and a lot that I can’t remember. They played for two and a half hours, I think, but I didn’t mind at all. He is the only solo project around right now that is worth seeing, I think. If you love heavy metal, and enjoy King Diamond’s falsetto lyrics and his horrifying stories, then I would not hesitate to see them… NOW!

I heard King Diamond’s been having some troubles lately with hitting the high notes, and that he had to get that chick to sing the high parts for him. Is this what happened at the show you went to?

And that sounds like an awesome show, dude. Glad you got to see it.