I wrote another sonnet tonight. I’ve posted it outside the poetry thread again, so it’s more open for advice - I hope no one minds.
Blue Rose
What’s on your mind, blue rose? Will you tell me?
I watched you bloom silently. You would sit,
All secluded from the daylight that lit
The red roses; you blossomed differently.
Are you still sad, blue rose? What did you see,
From where you used to sit? Are you sure it
Was nothing? I wonder. Would you admit,
Now, to anyone, what else it might be?
You turn black, blue rose! Why are you wilting?
You’ve joined the red roses in the sun. Why?
Please, come back! The red roses are burning.
Why do you want to turn black with them by
Lingering in the light? You are speaking. . .
Saying what? Is that a tear? Do you. . .cry?
This is a little harder to explain than the last sonnet. The funniest thing motivated me to write it.
I wish I had something more to say than how good your poem is, but I never was one for interpretting symbolism. From what I can see though, it is well written. You can really feel the change in tone at the volta (that’s the correct term, isn’t it?).
It’s really nice to get replies of any kind. Thanks for keeping me motivated. I’ll give a little summary of what the poem’s about:
The wilting of the blue rose is a metaphor for what happens when a uniquely beautiful, but sad and lonely person is lifted out of her sorrow, with someone else’s help. At first it’s a wonderful relief from the sadness; but eventually, she’ll have to decide whether to go back to that sad state, or let go of what made her uniquely beautiful by joining the other, happier people. This blue rose chooses the latter.
Does the symbolism make sense now?
Oh, and you’re right about the volta. I’d forgotten that term - I’d been thinking of it as the “turn” between lines eight and nine.
Very beautiful! Like demigod said, the change at the volta was very powerful. After reading your summary and then re-reading the poem, I couldn’t help but notice the the end of the poem seems quite sad. The blue rose has integrated itself to be like the rest, and is happier, but still cries over the loss of what made it unique. At least, that’s how I read it. So, despite being like the rest, it’s still sad, just not unique. I enjoyed this one a lot!
I’m glad to hear your interpretation: somebody I know inspired me to write this, and you’ve described what’s happening perfectly - the only difference being, maybe, that this blue rose is only starting to wilt. Maybe I’ll be able to write a happier sequel to this, sometime ^_^.