Wow. It’s been a long time since I fooled around with these folk. Anyways, I need some ideas, for more christmas screwups. Any suggestions?
An Islander’s Christmas by StarStorm
One thing well known in the worlds, at least, among those who knew of Rydia, knew one thing: Rydia knew how to throw one hell of a party. And the biggest party Rydia threw each year (despite the fact that Rydia was a pagan) was her Christmas party.
So this explained why Rydia, Rosa, Cecil and Kain were surrounding a massive tree in the middle of the Great Hall, decorating it with various ornaments and magical lights. Decorating a thirty-foot tall evergreen takes a lot of time.
So it was with plenty of relief that Rydia climbed the ladder, supported by Cecil and Kain with a large, ornate star in her hand. Or it would be.
“GET OVER HERE YOU LITTLE PERVERT!”
Four heads turned to the main door of the Great Hall. A slim black man with a parcel in his hands was cackling as he threw open the doors, dashing inside the Great Hall, closely followed by a young Asian woman. “Elliot, if you give me those back RIGHT NOW, I’m going to… WHOOOOA!”
The floor had been freshly waxed, a small feature Elliot and Allison had failed to notice. Couldn’t blame them really: running at speeds most Olympic sprinters would be envious of, while focused on the acquisition or retrival of the parcel, made for slight ignorance of their surroundings.
As thus, about three steps inside, both Elliot and Allison crashed to the floor, their forward momentum continuing to send them along the floor.
Rydia only stared at them, like a deer in front of a pair of headlights. Rosa did her best to scramble away from the impact zone, and Cecil and Kain let go of the ladder…
CRASH! The tree was the first to topple. Elliot’s momentum was as such he acutally slid under the tree as if fell, finally stopping about five feet away. The ladder, even with Rydia’s weight, was not nearly as sturdy. BAM!
Rydia found herself caught by Rosa. She just smiled up at her friend. “Thanks Rosa. I didn’t know you cared.” Rydia kissed Rosa’s nose and giggled. Rosa just rolled her eyes and dropped Rydia on her ass.
Elliot and Allison were getting up, unsteadily to their feet, looking at the carnage they’re impromptu slide had caused. It only took three seconds to come to an agreement: they ran the hell out of there, hearing Rosa, the normally polite, reserved and kind Rosa, screamed various obscenites at them as Cecil and Kain took the damaged tree away.
About the same time, two lovers were setting up the christmas lights in a nearby hallway. In this case, it would be electric lights. Zidane and Garnet wanted to do their part to help, so Zidane was on the ladder, while Garnet untangled the wires. Everything was going well.
Zidane could note several voices down the hallway. He recognized one of them: Kuja. The other voices, judging from the debate that was going on, would be his fellow WarMages. And thus it was. Princess Aurora, Kuja, Janus, Ultimecia and Seifer followed behind the Master WarMage, Robert. And it seemed like Aurora was arguing heatedly with Seifer.
“I don’t care HOW funny it was, nor what we do, but a demon’s entrails DO NOT MAKE APPROPRIATE TINSEL!”
Seifer smirked. “It’s a Christian holiday, Aurora. I think they’d appreciate a slain demon as a gift.”
Robert shook his head. “Hardly. It’s less a Christian holiday now than really a multicultural one. Expressing joy, love, sharing…”
“Gag.” Kuja rolled his eyes.
“Hey, Rydia celebrates it, and she’s anything but Christian.”
“She vould love any excuse to haff a party, I tink.” Ultimecia laughed slightly.
“Point.”
Fact #1: Despite being one of the most cunning, vicious, and deadly warriors ever to live, when distracted, Robert is ASTOUNDINGLY clumsy.
Fact #2: Zidane and Garnet had yet to tape the wires from the floor to the ceiling.
Fact #3: Transparent tape, in preparation of stapling said wires, is not a particularly good adhesive.
Fact #4: Despite Fact #3, it is strong enough to trip a 200 pound man.
Robert did not notice the wire against his ankle. Nor did anyone else. Until Robert went flying, ass over kettle, to the floor, pulling off the Christmas lights up until where Zidane was holding them. Janus, Kuja and Seifer burst out laughing, while Ultimecia and Aurora did their best not to burst out themselves. Robert just pulled his face from the floor, grumbling up to Zidane dangerously. “This had better be a joke, Zidane, because I know you’re not setting tripwires in the halls.”
Zidane groaned, leaning his head against the wall and trying to not to beat it into the wall. “Probably because I’m setting up Christmas lights.”
Aurora nodded, still tittering as she helped Robert to his feet. “You need to watch where you’re going, Robert.”
Robert sighed, rubbing his sore head and shooting dangerous looks at his Apprentices and their Apprentices. “Let’s just go alright?”
Garnet nodded. “Just be careful around here, alright?”
“Alright. Need help with those?”
Garnet and Zidane looked at each other before turning back to Robert. “No. That’s fine.”
After his troup had gone, Zidane went around, stapling the lights to the wall and ceiling, out of the way of clumsy feet.
Fact #5: In a set of Christmas lights with a serial connection, all it takes is one light to put all of them out.
Thus after plugging in the lights and hoping for a rather elaborate display of christmas lights along the hall, Zidane and Garnet groaned as they went to look for the one light in a set of about a bajillion that put them all out.