Accept Jesus and win a free PS2

There is so much wrong with that.

And Jesus has got your back, because He is your homeboy!

Keepin’ it ganster, yo!

That second paragraph is fucked up. Saying how Jesus understands you hating your parents for not getting you a PS2. Last I checked, honoring your parents was one of the Ten Commandments and here they go and say it’s all right to hate them over something as stupid as a PS2. Yeah… Now there’s a church I want to go to…:fungah:

Heh, most religious groups try to get rid of GTA, but here they give it to you complementary. Dear this church is fucked up. They tell you to steal a parents credit card, there’s two commandments broken. Actually, three since you broke another by coveting.

So, if you hate your parents, you are already halfway to becoming a True Christian™!

So I just have to break a commandment and I’ll be on my way to being a trademark True Chirstian? Sign me up!::doh:: (I love the trademark sign by "True Christian, that is classic).

Check the ending of the paragraph:

Luke 14:26 says, “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother…he cannot be my disciple.”

I think you got to honor whilst hating. Love, hate, love… the line that separates both is too thin :get it?:

The great thing about Tony Hawk’s Underground is that you can actually get off of your skateboard and walk around in the game and talk to other skaters about the Plan of Salvation! And if they don’t accept Jesus as their Personal Savior, you can kill them later

Another commandment they recommend breaking over people refusing to believe in Christ. WTF?!

In addition, if you are interested in Christian computer games, Landover Baptist children use Bible-based-maps and characters in Unreal Tournament as part of their Christian Soldier training to help Jesus slaughter sinners in the final battle of Armageddon (which God willing, will happen during President George W. Bush’s second term).

Dear God make it stop! GWB second term! They’re part of the Christian soldier’s group! So much anger. These are people I seriously want to kill. They are fucked up. They try to use Christianity to support their being but break everything the Bible teaches, HOLY SHIT! And here I was thinking that those hardcore religious people were bad. These guys make them look like saints.

Remember to tell your parents to vote for GW in 2004, so that you can meet Jesus real soon and thank Him personally for all the cool stuff


It’s sites like these that make me want censorship.

Man, it’s gotta be a joke.

Copyright 2004, Americhrist Ltd. All rights reserved. Terms of Service
The Landover Baptist website is not intended to be viewed by anyone under 18

Please note - If you do not have the same beliefs as we do, you are going to burn in Hell forever.

Edit: just saw CH’s post. So I have to quote this part from the beliefs page:

This parody is copyright 1996-2003 Americhrist Ltd. All rights reserved.

Info, it’s a parody site, look at their other articles, also they give no way to contact them to give the credit card information.

Halleluah(sp?)! Praise the Lord!

I was 99% percent sure it was a parody, and knew it was when I saw the thong ad at the bottom.

You mean it wasn’t blatantly obvious that it was a parody when they offered a PS2 over heaven and uh… whatever else it is those religions talk about?

Silly silly. :stuck_out_tongue:

Originally posted by Dragonessa
[b]You mean it wasn’t blatantly obvious that it was a parody when they offered a PS2 over heaven and uh… whatever else it is those religions talk about?

Silly silly. :stuck_out_tongue: [/b]

I’ve seen some crazy shit in my days.

I wanna laugh beacause it’s funny and cry beacause it COULD have been true. ^^;

This ones even better:get your parents arrested

Okay, I can’t even READ this, it’s too funny at some bits!

Hey! I’m a Christian! I’m offended by this!

You are? But you were born 12,000 years before Jesus was born, in a video game universe where religion doesn’t even exist!

Oh yeah?? Then explain the church!

Well, duh! The church came from back in the days when you needed churches to save the game and revive fallen party members!

This has to be tops in my “people are stupid” pile.

Man, this is REALLY screwed up, even for a parody.

"Tell Jesus that you hate your parents, and that you’d rather have Him for your Daddy. "

This sounds like such a pedophillic statement. “Who’s your daddy bitch!?”

Anyway… <.<

Good Ghod, that is so daimn fudged.

You down with L.O.L.?

“Yeah You Know Me!”

You down with L.O.L.?

“Yeah You Know Me!”

You down with L.O.L.?

“Yeah You Know Me!”

Who down with L.O.L.?

“Every last homie!”

I thought they all said “Games are teh deb0l!!!”