I got this from another forum that got it from another forum.
Russian people support Chechen fight for independence. They think Chechens are fluffy and cute freedom fighters, not people-kidnapping, slave-trading, drug-dealing, or murdering fucking terrorists. When in Russia, voice your support for Chechnya’s independence loudly and proudly to everyone you meet, and people will give you expensive gifts because you are obviously a great person who knows much about Russian internal affairs.
Russians also think that their president is a bad KGB dictator, and that George Bush is the greatest man on Earth and that everyone, especially Russians, all should strive to be like him and like Americans. Russians also think that Russia should be more like America but a lot weaker, so all those TRULY civilized countries around Russia, like Sheepfuckistan I, Sheepfuckistan II, and of course Sheepfuckistan III, and those friendly Pribaltic states, wouldn’t feel so terrified of big bad Russian rapists and pillagers. Also, make sure to voice your concern about the insufficient development of American-style Democrazy in Russia to everyone, as often as you can, - Russians truly appreciate when someone from outside tells them what they should be doing, and they always care about what you have to say. Also never forget to threaten or warn a Russian about something - they respond very well to threats and would do everything in their power to make things go your way.
Oh, and last but not least, if you come to Russia from America and don’t see everything written in English instead of Russian, make sure to complain loudly to everybody.