So one sent this to me on a different forum and I thought it was pretty funny. I guess the last one applies to any who don’t understand it.
You Know You’re From San Diego When…
You’d driven from East County San Diego to a mall somewhere in North County because of one particular store you like.
You have a 12 month pass to the San Diego Zoo, San Diego Wild Animal Park, and Sea World.
You lost your virginity or first drank in TJ.
You’re enjoying 80º weather at the end of February while those up north complain about 12 inches of snow.
The people at the local smoothie bar know you by name.
Your birth certificate indicates that you were born in Kaiser Hospital off of Zion Ave.
You can’t leave the Del Mar Fair each summer without a plateful of Australian battered potatoes, a funnel cake, and other junk food.
Your tan lines never go away.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from San Diego.
You should forward this to everyone on your aim buddy list, attach a note at the end detailing various rewards for your buddies should they also pass this list on to a certain number of people.
You want REAL hilarity? Check this out!!
You Know You're From Columbia Falls When...
You always have drive up to Kalispell to do any sort of shopping.
You have a season pass to Big Sky Waterslides in the summer and Big Mountain in the winter.
You lost your virginity in Hungry Horse or first got drunk at a kegger up the North Fork.
You're enjoying the below 0 Farenheit temperatures in the winter, while people in the south close schools at the first sign of snow.
The local bars let you bring your children with you while you go out drinking.
Your birth certificate indicates that you were born in North Valley Hospital in Whitefish
You can't leave the Back Room without a plate full of Ribs, Red Potatoes and Indian Fry Bread.
You never get tan lines.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Columbia Falls.
My point is that these things simply aren’t funny or even interesting to out of towners… and they’re usually not funny or interesting to people IN the towns either. I hope you can see that now. =P
WHO ARE YOU ALL TO JUDGE?
Sorta funny, but no laughs.
You can’t just do them for one town. You have to do them for a whole region
You know you’re from northern Ontario when…
You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
You head south to go to your cottage.
You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won’t prowl on your deck.
The major parish fund-raiser isn’t bingo - it’s sausage making.
You find -40C a little chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
You can play road hockey on skates.
You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Northern friends.
And it’s funnier when people pick on you about it too.
Actually, it is kind of funny when you do that for a bunch of different locations. Just to compare how dull or exiting your life is
You know you’re from Europe if…
Your ethnic origin is of one of the European countries
Your parents’ ethnic origins are of one of the European countries and that’s where they gave birth to you
You say that you are from Europe and can prove it
You are not from Australia, Asia, North America, South America, Africa, or Antarctica
You are born in Germany, England, Ireland, Scotland, France, Holland, Switzerland, or Poland
You have acquired citizenship for Europe and have lived there/is living there for an extended amount of time, but has just moved elsewhere.
This is a horrible, horrible thread.
You know you’re from the San Diego/Colombia Falls/Ontario/Etc when…
It’s listed as your current city of residence or has been in the past.
Most of these are not useful in telling if you’re <i>from</i> a certain region, but are actually <i>in</i> said locale.
You could at least spell my hometown right. =(
3 reasons why Jesus was…
[li]He went into his father’s business.
[/li][li]He lived at home until the age of 33.
[/li][li]He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.
[li]He never got married.
[/li][li]He never held a steady job.
[/li][li]His last request was a drink.
[li]His first name was Jesus.
[/li][li]He was always in trouble with the law.
[/li][li]His mother couldn’t remember how his father looked like.
[li]He talked using his hands.
[/li][li]He had wine with every meal.
[/li][li]He used olive oil.
[li]He called everybody brother.
[/li][li]He liked Gospel.
[/li][li]He couldn’t get a fair trial.
[li]He never cut his hair.
[/li][li]He walked around barefoot all the time.
[/li][li]He started a new religion.
[li]When he died, they stripped his body off everything but underwear.
[/li][li]He thought himself superior to everybody else.
[/li][li]He ALWAYS had some sort of excuse or explanation for everything.
[li]He had to feed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.
[/li][li]He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
[/li][li]Even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work for him to do.
Epyon wins, and has an awesome sig, which must be preserved for posterity.
I laughed my ass off at this one. That’s one is good and clever.