I’ve Finnaly gotton underway on my first real piece of real fiction,
the bad news, all my fan stuff has to go bye-bye for now, sorries
weillia. But for now you can have taste of things to come.
Could you post it, as opposed to giving us an attachment?
would’nt matter execpt the way I do it now lets me keep count,
mr. belkica :}
Well, if it’s not posted, I don’t bother reading it.
I’m thinking about making my stories scrolling.
Uh yea, if you don’t post it, I’m not reading it.
There are tiny errors on a couple of places, such as:
/…/ what occoured next,?"
>There is no need for the comma there.
Also, during the last three paragraphs I got rather lost on who was talking, whether it was the professor or the narrator - and what he was going on about. It might be because I’m a bit tired, but I lost track even if I tried to reread it a couple of times.
Oh, whatever…
“In the world of Morik’tol-diana were the beasts, and the land was happy under the ruling class masters of the ancient traditions. The followers of Morik’tol served him well. But then came the people from the outside lands, chased out by the followers of Marik’Tai and the dark armies from the feared tale of a great extermination.” The speaker pauses from the lesson he has long tired of having memorized. “And whence the two peoples leading forces met for the third time finally in peace what occoured next,?”
The aged scholar needed no clues as who to focus upon and indeed the eager miss Growgone was trembling atop her high heels, common rumour had it that if something flew in front and past her widened eyes,
she would fall towards it. ‘Her talent, I believe comes from some kind of envy’ came the thought
within the proffesser of History commonly known as Alikia Duneat, As I relived the pressure on Alixa
Growgone he saw the signs of how she would age over time, as others of her line like her had, would I dare tell could she even begin to understand let alone bare it…
“The people finally knew that what they had in common outweighed the fear they felt at each other’s sighting’s of what they saw as ‘strange beasts’ and learned to work towards a common goal.” In the background several events concerning last night’s show of battle beasts and the documentry on the
eighth classifiction and the second world. One dilemma in particular stands out in my memory; the singular sided antagonism of Zash Lindosin who came in almost one year ago at thirteen years of age.
And Kale Ayendovi (sixteen years of age by my reckoning) and the triangle atween the two above, the maidens Alixa Growgone (twelve years old) Shatha Thilkina (a mere fourteen) and the second of the odd
one out, I’m speaking in tounges again aren’t I?, Did I mention by the way I was never good at math?
The last person in our waltz is Malik Tordrinol who is fourteen. All of them follow their respective lineages as far as their age can go. My heart is heavy for those among you who will not last
the five or ten year periods beyond leaving this school. May you change this world forever. For better
or worse, I doubt there is much of a difference. Zash, may you never suffer from nervousness or a dry mouth. Kale, I will always be proud of you, the brightest flame… Alixa, Maybe you’ll never forgive’
but you will know one day, I promise. Shatha, They said you would learn to look back, will you see me?
Finally, Malik. I will only let you make your own choice, so long as you can live with it. You will
see this log three times- once in a farewell without- once in mourning to me - and last in a farewell
within. Will you judge harshly of me? I do not wish that, nor do I wish to have myself exonerated.
The events in my life may not be known. But is not the way of the infamous and the shamed? The way of the guilty? Forgive me this, you must live your life. Unfetter youselves from my burdens and hope my wisdom is enough to mix with your valor, and if we meet again perhaps I could borrow some. I was never
good at good and evil.
third paragraph
at the end of the statement the narration/monolouge begins.
fourth/fifth paragraphs
the narration is being done by the proffeser as you should learn
in chapter one.
Things for the reader
1.apply paragraph one to the prior chapter
2. chapter one is now class of 989, this chapter is gradutation day
3.please answer the question at the bottom.
“I exist as Shatha Thilkina, but we are many more people within the great beast when we die, or are we dead already?” "Doe’s it matter? possibly not. For death means so much more than you can imagine, But now I most tell a tale of an adventure, it will be strange for it will be from others telling as much as much as from my own view. do not let time distract you and things will be clear. I will now begin.
The first of us out of the front door of the school was Zash in his patented halfback leap down the stairs. For once he didn’t land flat on his back, instead he must have weighed a little more at the moment of impact. “Now THAT’S a new one,” I told him, half-sneering in the way he was accustomed, or should be. “you need to pad that thing up a little more before it can take any punishment, tho.” “My ass is just fine,” After he winces I adopt my favorite smirk and he turns defensive. “What do you care anyway?, I don’t even like Shatha like you d-” The subject of his sentence steps out the doors walking with Malik.
Normally I get along fine with Zash, even if he is a little annoying over the petty stuff. I don’t know about whatever Kale has going through his head at times either, or if he lashes out at Zash just to satisfy himself or to vent his temper over the bad day he’s had with lessons or training. It can’t be the fault of the instructor that no-one has seen a northlander apply for any southlanders way’s of life, and with good reason. Whoever heard of a bare-handed beastiorn? But now it would have to be put aside for the moment.
“Guy’s listen, we’ve got a big problem with Alixa-” Shatha blinks, turns to the raccoon-haired boy sitting in the dirt and asks- “Why Zash, are you sitting on your poof?” Kale frowns as processing of this information begins and he tries to define ‘poof’s’ context. I begin blinking rapidly while Zash responds by standing up then falling over as the embarrassment at the frilly adressment hits home. I shook myself while Kale shook Zash and groused at him. “Get over it, you Wimp, at least you still have a poof, unlike some people,-” Realizing I’d better get back to them with better odds I turn towards Shatha and ask her to help get Alixa out of the school library again.
“Is she looking up Meligiano’s something or other?” She is honest to the great beast my best of all sisters, but I could never learn why she spends so much time around books. “Why don’t you ask her?” I have learned the art from the white people of deceptivitiy, and as he grinned I turned and saw Alixa racing up towards us, arms empty. I took a position to foward flank the two of them as Malik spoke. “Find any good books?” Alixa Counters by giving him a light shove right into Kale’s sorrid spine.
Going back a bit it would make things clear if you knew Zash had been sending Kale along towards Malik with a series of growing complaints about the rough treatment that he so unfairly had pushed upon him all the time for no appearent reason, finally concluding with several exemplatory statements promising terrible harm should Kale harrass Zash once more. Kale finally at the end of this, could only state his appoval of these actions, Much to Zash’s Confusion. And then to add to his confoundment Kale fell on him.
Which one is the odd man?