Yet another retrospective: The Punisher

The Core Media Forum
#11

CHAPTER 3: Failed Relaunches and LSD-Induced Trash

By the time the Punisher’s many titles were canceled, you would have thought Marvel would have decided to let the character rest a little, maybe making a few guest appearances before possibly getting another title. Unfortunately, Marvel subscribed to the same “shovel it on” crap that gets us a brand new Sonic the Hedgehog game every year and IMMEDIATELY started a relaunch.

Let’s take a look, shall we? Three series were canceled due to low sales and declining popularity, and yet they start planning a new series no later than five minutes after the news dropped? I mean, the Hulk had several years before he got his second series, and yet the Punisher gets another one within months?

Well, the mess started with a two-shot series, Double Edge. The first issue, Double Edge Alpha (August 1995) shows the Punisher still in SHIELD custody, now undergoing psychiatric evaluation and therapy courtesy of Doc Samson. Unfortunately, during a fairly successful regressive hypnosis session, yet another rogue SHIELD agent (man, there’s a lot of these guys!) sneaks in and implants the idea that NICK FURY KILLED THE PUNISHER’S FAMILY! Yes, let that sink in…

Needless to say, in the next issue, Double Edge Omega (October 1995), Puny escapes, and a madcap chase filled with explosions, shootouts, and LMD destruction ensues. Finally, the whole mess ends with Nick Fury seemingly killing the Punisher…only to get shot in the back by the real deal. Ghost Rider then arrives on the scene and uses his Penance Stare, not only breaking the hypnotic spell but also forcing Frank Castle to realize just how much grief and horror he’s caused. The now-catatonic Punisher is hauled away to face execution, Nick Fury’s body is given a proper burial, and the War on Crime seems to have come to an end.

(Note: Strangely, Nick Fury managed to stay dead for a good number of years before the one shot turned out to be a <i>very accurate</i> LMD. Um…yeah, Marvel, good job with that.)

So, the Punisher is in jail and facing certain execution. What better time to start the next series! Premiering in November 1995, the new title, simply called <u>Punisher</u>, starts with the Punisher being found not guilty for killing Nick Fury (due to insanity), but still found guilty for killing the two innocents in the park. Fortunately, just as the Punisher seems willing to accept execution, the baliff turns out to be BULLSEYE! (Again, WHAT THE HELL?!)

Now realizing he was not responsible for those murders, the Punisher is seemingly killed, only to be revived by a mob family. They wanted him to start working for them, in exchange for his life and revenge on Bullseye. Castle agrees, and breaks Bullseye’s hands FOR THE FOURTEENTH BILLIONTH TIME! After that, he becomes a “made man” in the Mafia, the same criminal organization he had spent much of his life trying to destroy.

To its credit, the title tried some new things with the character. Still reeling from the effects of the Penance Stare, Castle was more focused on finding another way to stop crime. To that end, he tried to reform the Mafia from the inside, moving their operations into legitimate businesses while also working to keep other groups like the Yakuza from moving in. Furthermore, Jigsaw’s character was also improved; he went from simply a guy whose face the Punisher had destroyed to being absolutely obsessed with being THE GUY to kill Castle. To that end, he killed the judge and prosecutor for the case, all while wearing a makeshift Punisher costume. However, once he found out the Punisher was still alive, and that he had killed those people for nothing, he went on the warpath once again.

The first ten-issue storyline ends with the family’s insane elderly leader allowing Jigsaw, Tombstone, and a collection of enemies the Punisher had made during the comic’s run attack his own compound, killing many of his enforcers and own family members. The Punisher barely survives, and after torturing the information out of Tombstone (before dumping him in the ocean), goes after Jigsaw. The battle ends with Jigsaw seemingly gunned down, but the mob bosses’ daughter (who had fallen in love with Castle) falling off a scaffold and shattering her spine. Realizing he’s lost yet another family, the Punisher leaves to find his purpose. And with that, all good things about the title end.

The rest is such bullcrap, I really don’t want to go into it. The Punisher gets a peripheral role in the Onslaught Saga, helping SHIELD take down a rampaging Sentinel. After that, he formally joins the organization (which is surprisingly forgiving, considering HE KILLED THEIR FUCKING LEADER) and helps stop yet another attempt to destroy Mutantkind, seemingly dying in the process. But, as it turns out, he survived, but now has total amnesia and is living in a church. He gets involved in yet another fight with a criminal mastermind, while the US military starts to actively hunt him down on the pretense that he’s technically a deserter, but for reasons that no doubt are far more sinister…

And that’s the end. No, really, the series lasted only 18 issues, and was canceled mid-storyline. In fact, the staff working on the comic didn’t know about its cancellation until only a short time before it was set to release, and thus couldn’t create a proper conclusion. Overall, <u>Punisher</u> wasn’t a total waste. The first ten issues were pretty involving, the artwork was pretty good consistently (although the Punisher looked far too large and muscular), and it was obvious there was a lot of emphasis on making the character likable again. However, the last eight issues were terrible, and the somewhat intriguing storyline was canceled and never concluded, despite plans and promises for an annual that would have done just that.

So, the Punisher’s been canceled again. The question is, why did he lose popularity? Was it because the market was oversaturated with him? Was it because the writing had grown progressively worse over the years? Was it because there was no real desire to allow him to grow as a character, or to allow him to have a consistent theme or supporting set?

No, you dolts! It was because he didn’t have SUPERPOWERS! So, let’s have him die and come back as an undead bringer of revelation and destruction!

…I don’t really have to go any farther on this, do I?

The Punisher: Purgatory is easily one of the dumbest things to have ever been conceived. Basically, the Punisher one day decided to kill himself. I don’t know why or how, but he did. BUT, then he was resurrected by angels (yes, ANGELS) in order to fight demons, who had taken the form of the old mob boss that murdered his family. AND THEN, it turns out his family was caught in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell, DESPITE THE FACT THAT, PRIOR TO THIS, THEY HAD SIMPLY WALKED INTO A GANGLAND EXECUTION BY MISTAKE! THERE WAS NO OTHER FUCKING SIDE THERE; THERE WAS JUST THE GANGS!

So, in order to make the Punisher more palpable in the world of superheroes, they turned him into a supernatural dealer of punishment. He still went after regular criminals, but his main task was to take on demons with his newfound weapons and powers. He kills the boss demon, and then teams up with Wolverine in Wolverine/Punisher: Revelation, a miniseries that managed to surpass Purgatory in sheer stupidity and awfulness.

I don’t really have much to say, mostly because I read both series once, years ago, and don’t even want to THINK about them again. They are simply that bad. They are Amazons Attack, the Crisis on Infinite Earths, Civil War, the Clone Saga, and Marvel Zombies all rolled into one giant ball of crap, and then smashed into eight twenty-page funny books. Really, after something this stupid, is there any way to save the Punisher?

Well, yes, there was. And it would take a deranged lunatic known as Garth Ennis to make that dream a reality. But first, we’re taking a little side trip into another time, another universe, known only as Marvel 2099. Here, we shall meet Jake Gallows, the Punisher of the future, and watch as Marvel screws up a good idea yet again…

#12

So, Microchip’s revival was never explained? In that case, the MAX Puni has to be out of continuity. Well, not necessarily- this is the Marvel Universe, after all. But being only human, it’s harder for Micro to “come back” unless his death was faked. Personally, I would be only too happy to keep P-MAX out of continuity, as it’s some of the most disgusting stuff I’ve seen in a Marvel comic. >:(

Geez, Punisher has been screwed as a character worse than even Wonder Woman! And at least Diana, being tied to mythological gods, can be more believably put through changes such as being brought back from the dead. But Puni has always been supposed to be “just a guy with guns” so all those revisions don’t make sense. By the Demons thing, you can tell Marvel had no idea what to do with him. And yet, they wouldn’t let him go, probably because back in the 90’s, Marvel was almost bankrupt, and they were desperate to hold on to anything that might have selling power.

Speaking of the Heaven/Hell thing, not only it is a break for Marvel tradition (they had a “No JudeoChristian characters” policy for decades) but it ties Frank to some stuff you can’t just “walk away from.” Are we going to assume demons go after everyone else BUT him now? And how would those revelations affect Frank? It’s one thing to go around killing if you think there’s no God. But when you KNOW for a fact there is, but he’s a uncaring dick…

Really, they should just had let those stories go to the same place Gwen Stacy’s children with the Green Goblin went to (eg, limbo) and forgot about it. As it stands, they’re gonna have to write a story explaining what happened afterwards someday.

Great job so far, d. Hey, don’t forget to mention “What if The Punisher killed the Marvel Universe?” You know your character has become overinflated when he’s just a guy with guns but manages to kill even the Fantastic Four. :stuck_out_tongue:

#13

And now, Chapter 4.

<b>Chapter 4: The Punisher 2099</b>

The idea of a dystopic future has never really left the public consciousness. In a world were morals are seemingly on the decline, crime is on the rise, pollution is killing the environment, and the world is becoming more consumer-centered and controlled by corporations, are well all heading on the path towards scummy cities filled with nothing but crime and disgust, where humanity is but a shadow of what it’s capable of?

Oh, wait, we’re already there. But still, Marvel 2099 took several established Marvel characters, tweaked their origins, and transplanted them to a world that desperately needed heroes. The line launched with four titles: Ravager 2099 (focusing on an entirely new character), Spider-Man 2099 (the most successful of the product line), Doom 2099 (the first series to present Doom as a hero), and finally, the Punisher 2099.

In this future, the Punisher is Jake Gallows, a member of the Public Eye, the corrupt privatized police force that punishes criminal’s bank accounts. A sworn Thorite (a follower of the Church of Thor), Gallows was willing to follow the program, but after a lunatic murders his family (in this case, his mother, brother, and sister-in-law), he decides that Public Eye is too embroiled in corruption to really combat crime. Fortunately, he comes across Frank Castle’s old war journal (now in the police archives), where he urges someone to follow in his footsteps. Taking this to heart, Jake Gallows becomes the new Punisher.

The setting of Punisher 2099 had a huge impact on Gallows’ character, both in terms of his methods as well as motivations. Whereas Castle despised prisons and reform (he preferred to just kill every criminal he met), Gallows would often capture enemies and hold them in a makeshift prison underneath his house. He was also more willing to work for the people Public Eye missed, often trying to offer assistance when he could for the victims of HIS victims. Still, he was the Punisher, which meant he got to blow the crap out of a LOT of bad guys every issue.

Still, placing a barbaric character like the Punisher in a world where his actions actually make more sense should have been a great move. However, it turned out to be anything but, thanks to the same mismanagement and poor writing that has plagued our antihero/villain since his inception.

Gallows more or less functioned in the same manner as his mainstream counterpart: he relied mostly on firearms, with a cybernetic suit that gave him increased durability, strength, and agility (as opposed to Castle’s Kevlar suit), and was a competent (if not wholly successful) martial artist. He also used a face scrambler to protect his identity from cameras, which helped him keep his job with Public Eye. All this was courtesy of his OWN Microchip, Matt Axel.

The turning point for the series was when Gallows falls in love with a psychologist, to the point that he reveals his secret to her and plans to retire. However, the Fearmaster, a cult leader with the power to transform anything using his hand, finds and kills Gallows’ girlfriend (turning her to glass). This causes Punisher to go off the deep end for good. He joins up with the other heroes of the 2099 universe to destroy the floating city of Asgard (while also being forced to kill his old minister, who had been brainwashed into thinking <I>he</I> was actually Thor), but soon after begins simply killing criminals for the hell of it.

THIS is my main beef with the series; there is simply no clear transition from “trying to bring back justice” to “I get a hard-on from vaporizing bikers.” Matt Axel quits and rejoins several times, a female Punisher is introduced, the Punisher gets a talking motorcycle, etc., and yet, my main issue still stands with just HOW the Punisher was characterized yet AGAIN!

The shit really hits the bag when Doom takes over America. Yes, that really happened in the 2099 line; Doom takes control of the country from a fake Captain America, and begins to implement reforms meant to make the country more secure. One of these is dissolving Public Eye (just as they found out Jake Gallows is the Punisher), and making Gallows the “Minister of Punishment.” However, the minute he takes power, Gallows begins making up crimes just so he can kill more people. Matt Axel quits again, trying to turn his bike into a robot Punisher. However, before much can be made of this, the Apocalypse happens: satellites rain from the skies, destroying much of the order Doom had tried to bring about. Gallows ditches everyone and heads into space, hooking up with the female Punisher, and then plans to bring Punishment to the whole universe. Um…huh.

Fortunately, he is soon back on Earth, where he’s killed trying to save Doom from a bunch of spiders. Thank god.

The thing is, there’s NO TRANSITION, NO GRADUAL CORRUPTION. Gallows simply goes from being a sympathetic killer to a total nutball in a single issue. There was no reason for any of the things he did during the last few issues. I mean, I could probably stomach this if it happened over the course of the line, but NO! It just comes out of absolutely nowhere! Way to go, Marvel. You did it AGAIN!

Okay, that’s done. Next time, THE PUNISHER MEETS ARCHIE!

(For reals, this time.)

#14

The whole 2099 line was a curious experiment: reinventing Marvel’s most popular characters in a cyberpunk setting. Since cyberpunk is by nature pessimistic, I was not interested at first, but some of the books were actually pretty good (Doom 2099, for example- but then, it was written by John Ostrander, one of the best comics writer ever- this guy could write “Little Lulu” and I would STILL buy it!) I passed on Punisher, though, which I see now was a good idea. Again, Marvel showed that back then, they had no idea what to do with Puni (and several other characters) and just tried whatever the next writer came up with. (DC is suffering that problem of late too.)

#15

Er … in chapter 3 … what exactly does “LMD” stand for?

#16

Life Model Decoy. Basically, it’s humanoid androids SHIELD uses whenever they want to avoid an immediate cop-out- I mean, losing someone valuable.

And now, for my horrible review of “Archie Meets the Punisher” or “The Punisher Meets Archie.” I just can’t really review something this awesome.

<b>SUPER SPECIAL BONUS CHAPTER: The Greatest Crossover EV0R!!!</b>

Archie Comics was founded back in 1939, under the title MLJ Comics. At first, it was a pretty generic comic book publisher in an era dominated by ultra-patriotic superheroes and Superman rip-offs. However, in 1941, MLJ published a small back-up character named “Archie” in several of its titles; the character and his surrounding cast became so popular that the whole company changed its name to “Archie Comics” five years later. Today, Archie has abandoned its superhero line (with the exception of the “why the fuck is this still running” Sonic the Hedgehog series) in favor of checkout stand-level comics about teenagers still acting like it’s the 1950s.

Now what does this have to do with the Punisher? Well, in 1994, our second-favorite psychopath was still enjoying the sweet taste of commercial success. Furthermore, intercompany crossovers had progressively become more in-vogue, starting back in the 1970s with the classic “Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man.” So, what do you do with this? Why, you have the Punisher cross over into Riverdale chasing a drug dealer, who happens to LOOK like a Hyde version of Archie!

And you know what? It actually worked!

A lot of the credit for the series’ success has to fall with the superb writing. Obviously, the Punisher had to be toned down quite a bit to fit into Archie’s archetypically good-natured universe. In this case, he had “lowered himself” to helping the government find a drug dealer, Red, in exchange for information that would help his war on crime. This meant he was more or less not allowed to kill anyone (although he damn near did so several times), but was otherwise allowed to bring in whatever other equipment he desired or required. Meanwhile, the “Red looks like Archie” plot point provided a perfect means for the two to meet, and for the entire Archie cast to good-heartedly screw up Punny and Micro’s hunt.

Probably the best scene of the crossover, and the one point that underlay the main theme of the crossover, was when Red takes Veronica to the prom (in a quintessential Archie plot, Ronny wants to make Archie jealous, so she takes THE FIRST GUY THAT HAPPENS TO LOOK LIKE HIM!). The Punisher, having rescued Archie from some thugs (and beat the shit out of a few cops that tried to arrest him), sneaks into the school as a chaperone. While he’s making his way to the gym, however, he sees the heart-shaped scratches on the walls, the general cleanliness and beauty of the lockers, and the sense of general innocence that pervades throughout Riverdale, and finally decides that this place is so special and different from the world he’s used to that he can’t let himself or anyone else ruin it. It’s this moment, more than anything else, which highlights how serious the staff took such a ridiculous concept.

Needless to say, trouble goes down, Veronica is kidnapped, Archie and the Punisher team up, and in a moment of second-grade slapstick, Archie screws up the Punisher’s chance to capture Red, but then causes him to get trapped in a warehouse filled with parade balloons (all shaped like Marvel and Archie characters). Red ends up snared on a rope and dragged into the atmosphere (although, in true Archie style, he miraculously survives), the Punisher is given a Riverdale letterman jacket, and he and Micro head off to their next destination: GOTHAM CITY!

(Note: Turns out, they DID go to Gotham City. The Punisher’s next two intercompany crossovers involved none other than Batman: the first was the god-awful “EXTREME!” Batman, and the second was the real deal, Bruce Wayne. The only thing really to note there is that, in the second crossover, Batman stops the Punisher from killing the Joker, and then proceeds to open a can of whoop-ass on a scale not seen again until Kal-L smashed Kal-El with a car.)

And with that, the best crossover ever is concluded. So, go get it. Now. Find it on ebay, download it off BitTorrent, I don’t care. Just get it.

Next time: The Punisher heads into the night…the MARVEL KNIGHTS!

#17

Okay, this one is a LONG one. Sorry, but I just love this run. It’s easily my favorite Punisher series.

<b>Chapter 5: The Punisher is reborn: Marvel Knights</b>

By the beginning of the 21st century, the Punisher had been more or less forgotten. He had fallen so far that nothing short of a total lunatic with a hatred for superheroes and years of creating disturbing crap could bring him back. Fortunately, someone like that DID come along: Garth Ennis, creator or DC classics like, um, Hitman and Preacher.

Previously, Ennis had worked on a rag called “The Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe,” which was published as a special issue of Marvel’s “What If?” anthology series. In this universe, the Punisher was actually a cop, whose family was killed during a battle between superheroes and villains. When the heroes treat his loss as an “unavoidable casualty,” Castle responds by violently gunning down three of them. He’s sentenced to life, but is bailed out by an organization composed of victims of superhero battles. They want Castle to become the Punisher, to kill both superheroes and supervillains alike in revenge.

The rest of the issue deals with the Punisher hunting down various heroes and villains, killing them in typical gory fashion. He tazers Spider-Man and Venom before blowing their brains out with a shotgun, attaches a tracer to the Hulk so he can kill him as Bruce Banner, and blows away the Kingpin (which requires an entire belt of M15 ammo). After this, he procures weapons from the Kingpin’s armory, heads to Latavia, and kills Doctor Doom by damaging his mask with a mine before smashing his skull in with a sledgehammer. Now armed with Doom’s personal weaponry, he tricks the X-Men and Brotherhood into a final battle on a moon base, before killing both sides with a nuclear bomb. He impales Wolverine into a generator, shoots Captain America in the back of the head, and (off screen) kills the Avengers by sabotaging their teleporter, while also killing the Fantastic Four somehow. In the end, the only ones left are Daredevil and the Punisher. After a climatic showdown, the Punisher kills Daredevil, but also removes his mask, revealing Matt Murdock, his lawyer and friend. Finally realizing the heroes and villains he had killed were human beings, the Punisher commits suicide.

All told, this was a fairly unspectacular comic, and was rightfully ignored when it was released. (It became a cult favorite only after Ennis took on the Punisher full-time.) However, the comic did bring some new things to the table. First, the series was one of the first to address the impact of titanic battles on regular citizens, predating The Incredibles by nearly ten years. In fact, the crux of the story was that the heroes had no apologies for putting regular citizens in danger just so they could beat back some alien threat or whatnot. The Punisher was also made into a more human character; he knows what he’s doing is wrong the whole time (confessing such to Murdock shortly before their final battle), but feels helpless to stop it. When the same group that saved him tries to rope him into hunting forever (since mutants and superhumans will always be born), he guns down their leader without a second thought, tells everyone to leave him alone, and hints that Microchip (in this universe, he’s confined to a wheelchair after Doctor Octopus tore his legs off) should just “get a life.”

Now, prepare to ignore all of this, as Ennis decided to take the series in a very different direction.

The new Punisher miniseries (now often referred to as “Welcome Back, Frank”) premiered in 2000, and was the second Punisher series with the “Marvel Knights” tagline. (The first was the aforementioned “Purgatory.”) The series begins with the Punisher hunting down the three sons of Ma Gnucci, his latest target in his war on crime. From there, he fought against Ma and her hired guns several times, tricked Ma into a polar bear bit (where her limbs were torn off), fought the nearly indestructible Russian, and finally killed Ma Gnucci with some gasoline and hand grenades.

Meanwhile, the series also introduced several new supporting characters. The most immediate were the Punisher’s neighbors: “Spacker” Dave (a dweeb with almost his entire face pierced), Mr. Bumpo (a comically obese man that couldn’t even squeeze out of his apartment), and Joan the Mouse (an incredibly anxious and shy woman who often “baked too many cookies”). Also joining the cast was Detective Soap, the police department’s biggest loser and the one unfortunate enough to be saddled with the Punisher Task Force. He also had a partner, but I’ve forgotten her name at the moment, and she wasn’t really that important, so let’s go on.

The other important characters were three copycat vigilantes. The Holy was a fanatically homicidal Catholic priest (because if it’s Garth Ennis, all religion is evil and meant only to bring about people’s deaths) that killed whoever came in for confession. The Elite was a fascist white supremacist who wanted to keep his neighborhood “clean” of everyone that he thought might bring them down (including hot dog vendors and car thieves). And finally, Mr. Payback was a thug that targeted the heads of banks and corporations, claiming that they were responsible for the deaths of regular people thanks to their penny-pinching and outsourcing. All three band together over the stretch of the series, and plan on bringing the Punisher in as their leader. In the end, however, it turns out the Punisher DOESN’T want a bunch of amateurs and biased psychopaths copying him, and he very promptly kills them all.

The miniseries was a huge success, and a few months later, Marvel rolled out a new series, again under the Marvel Knights brand. A few months after killing Ma Gnucci, chopping the Russians’ head off, and killing the three vigilantes, the Punisher is still operating in New York. Meanwhile, Soap, having briefly blackmailed his way to the top, has been kicked back down to Detective, and as further humiliation, is placed back on the Punisher Task Force. Before he can kill himself, however, the Punisher convinces him to act as an “inside man,” giving him information about criminals and other potential targets. Meanwhile, the Russian returns, this time as an android (with a woman’s body…ugh), and nearly kills the Punisher before being pushed off the Empire State Building (with the unwilling assistance of Spider-Man). This leads to the Punisher infiltrating an island of mercenaries, led by General Kriegoff, who plans to drop a nuke on France. The Punisher eventually blows onto the plane with the nuke while it’s taking off, chains the bomb to a resurrected Russian, and then pushed both of them off, setting the nuke off on the island and killing all 2,000 people. THEN he goes to the person who hired Kriegoff to begin with, and gives him a warning to stay out of his way. (It’s never stated, but it’s heavily implied that the mysterious benefactor was George W. Bush.)

Obviously, with an opening like THAT, you know the action’s going to be nonstop. In fact, the series is more or less treated like a number of smaller storylines combined in a singular framework. Several storylines, such as Soap’s relationship with a hooker (which he destroys by sleeping with her daughter), a mob war the Punisher started, and Castle’s growing animosity with the superhero community, spread out across the whole series, while also clearly intertwining with what’s going on in the current issue. In fact, the tight editing of the series proved to be one of the most endearing elements, at least for me, and has made it infinitely re-readable.

In fact, I consider the main Marvel Knights run to be my favorite version of the Punisher. It’s not as full-blown disgusting and ridiculous as the MAX series, but takes the subject matter far more seriously than the original runs. Ennis may have a disgusting streak, but he is still a talented writer when he wants to be, as evidenced in “Do Not Fall in New York City,” my absolute favorite issue of the Punisher. In this case, a war buddy of Castle’s has a breakdown and murders his family right after a messy divorce, coupled with his business failing and his life generally collapsing. He drifts across New York City, killing a waitress for asking him to leave a diner, and nearly killing a family that was visiting the Statue of Liberty. Meanwhile, the Punisher manages to find him, and guns him down.

However, the Punisher’s motivation is far different than usual. He sees himself as <I>saving</I> his old friend; by killing him, he just becomes a victim of the Punisher’s homicidal rampage. If he was actually arrested, there would be book deals, televised court hearings, 24-hour news coverage, etc. As the Punisher puts it, “A man, his guts lay bare for the world to see.” Furthermore, throughout the issue, the Punisher monologues that the “New New York” is a front, that the old, uncaring, hateful New York City is still there, and that no one will catch you if you fall. And yet, the last splash panel has the Punisher holding his latest victim, muttering the words “I caught you.” It’s a surprisingly moving moment, one of the few times Ennis allows any sort of human element in the Punisher, and one that carries on in my memory when I think of the series.

One other notable trick of Ennis’ run was putting more emphasis on the supporting characters. In Ennis’ eyes, the Punisher was more or less a one-dimensional character; hence, instead of making the Punisher more developed, it’s better to flesh out the people he comes in contact with. In the three-part “Brotherhood” story, the Punisher is targeting a drug ring with connections to the police. However, rather than focus on the Punisher’s hunt, the issues focus on two cops that get involved in the scheme. One has actually started working for the dealers to pay off gambling debts, and the other is a wife-beater and alcoholic. In the end, both cops end up killing the top dealers and their main connection, but die themselves in the attempt. Despite being criminals themselves, they are buried as heroes. All the while, the Punisher watches the scene, unable to act because he’s not used to going against cops.

Although a modest success, the series had to end at some point. The last five issues dealt with the Punisher’s actions against the superhero community; in particular, against Daredevil, Spider-Man and Wolverine. He had previously placed Daredevil in a scenario where he would HAVE to kill the Punisher to stop him (Daredevil did try to shoot at him, but the gun had no firing pin, and Castle got his man anyway). Spider-Man had been used as a human shield during the Punisher’s fight with the reborn Russian. Wolverine had temporarily teamed up to deal with an army of midget gangsters (I am not making this up), but the Punisher ran him over with a streamroller immediately after. The three team up to bring down the Punisher.

Meanwhile, the Punisher learns about an underground auction, where an ultimate weapon is set to be sold. While trying to find the auction, one of his informants rats him out to the heroes. The Punisher escapes (thanks to some well-timed taunting and a cheeseburger), kills everyone at the auction, and steals the merchandise…an amnesiac Bruce Banner. After feeding Banner strange stew for several days, and barely surviving another run-in with the heroes, the Punisher’s plans come to fruition; he tricks the heroes into a warehouse, right after he beat Banner to the point of absolute rage. The Hulk soon smashes his way inside, sending Wolverine flying all the way to Philadelphia with one punch and smashing Daredevil into the sewers. Over the course of the final battle, Spider-Man is nearly beaten, Spacker Dave stupidly wanders in and is crushed by the Hulk, and the Punisher gets to talk down to Daredevil for once:

“You want to stop me from killing by sending me to prison. That’s stupid. Send me to jail and I’ll kill everyone I meet. There’s only one way you’ll ever stop me. If you can’t do it, then don’t waste my time.”

And so, the series ends. Soap tries and fails to capture the Punisher one last time before becoming a porn star, the heroes disband and go their separate ways, Dave is quadriplegic for life, and the Punisher ends the series by musing about how 9/11 destroyed everyone’s sense of innocence before doing what he does best: throwing his backstabbing informant off of the Empire State Building.
The Marvel Knights run managed to hit just the right balance for a Punisher series. Some things weren’t handled perfectly (I’d love to see the Punisher grow as a character, rather than be stuck forever as just another killer), but for the most part, everything worked out for the best. And with that, I have to end my positives, because I’m going to deal with the two current series.

One is a vastly overrated, incredibly graphic series not sold in stores.

The other is written by Matt Fraction…which is surprisingly a negative in this case.

#18

OK, d: I was trying to wait until you were done, but you’ve reached the “No Way in Hell this in continuity” point of Puni’s career for me.

Seriously: Wolverine, Spider-Man and Daredevil, working together, can’t stop Punisher? Who, despite all his commando/police/whatever training is STILL JUST A GUY WITH GUNS? They should just retire at that point. No, that story was the writer (Ennis, right?) just stroking himself very hard. Oh, and Puni is wrong: if the superheroes REALLY wanted to stop him without killing him, there’s LOTS of ways they could do it, from giving hm amnesia to abandoning him in a desert planet to just breaking every bone in his body. (And just what is Ennis problem anyway? Is he mad that superheroes sell better than most of his stuff? If he hates comics so much why does he make a living writing them? Sorry, I just can’t stand the guy.)

So, in practice, there’s only TWO ways someone like the Punisher could get away with being active in the Marvel Universe: one, he sticks to killing low-profile criminals (to avoid calling attention from the heroes) and two, he strikes deals with certain heroes, the law and/or the government to be let loose in exchange for needed help (but that only works on a case-by-case basis.) And he’d BETTER not kill any innocent bystanders. (2000 people? Killed with a NUKE? NO FREAKIN’ WAY he’d get away with that. Not in Marvel.) Because if they really wanted to, the Avengers would have brought him down long ago. Think of all the assassins and serial killers they have captured through the years. Why is Puni any different?

OK, I understand that Punisher is a visceral-guts appeal character: many people enjoy fantasizing about murderous revenge, just as many enjoy more heroic fantasies. And Marvel will continue to print his adventures as long as they sell. All I’m saying is, they’d better keep the Ennis stuff in out-of-continuity stories, because his Punisher just doesn’t work in the “real” Marvel universe.

End of rant. :stuck_out_tongue:

#19

There are a couple things I would like to point out:

  1. I didn’t really cover the whole last arc in detail. Basically, the first time they capture the Punisher, he tricks them into letting him have a cheeseburger before going to prison. While Dave is pestering Spider-Man and Daredevil for an autograph (he was stalking the Punisher so he could see some superheroes), he taunts Wolverine into trying to kill him. Spider-Man tries to stop Wolvey, Daredevil has to get between the two, and while they’re doing that, Punisher quietly pays his bill and slips out the back.

The second time, the Punisher lures them to the docks by torturing a generic thug to death (thereby alerting Daredevil’s improved senses). He then slips into a nearby warehouse and fires a rocket at Wolverine, blowing apart his lower body. When Spider-Man tries to rush the Punisher through an open window, he crashes through a fake floor, and Punisher tricks him into thinking that lifting his foot will cause a mound of C4 to go off. He then tries to use an ultrasonic emitter to stun Daredevil (this is how he beat him in the miniseries) but DD immediately rushes him and nearly beats him down for good. However, Punisher is able to tackle him out a window, dislocating both of his shoulders on the way down. He tells Daredevil to back off, and then leaves.

The third time pretty much happened as mentioned, with the Hulk taking everyone out. The only thing I forgot to mention was how Punisher stopped the Hulk: the stew was actually filled with plastic explosive, which the Punisher detonates. The explosion seriously damages the Hulk’s insides, forcing him to revert back to Banner to stop the pain.

As for other ways to stop him…he’ll find a way, no matter what. Dump him on a desert planet, and he’ll steal an alien ship and fly back. Break every bone in his body, and he’ll find someone to make him an Iron Man-like suit. The thing with the Punisher is, he’s more than a guy with guns: he’s damn near unstoppable. Unlike everyone else, his origins are fixed: he’s a Vietnam veteran with twelve years of combat experience prior to his vigilante days. From there, he’s had over thirty years of experience as a vigilante, commits himself only to finding the next criminal to punish, has an arsenal the size of a small country, and above all else, is just as committed to his own ideology as any superhero.

And they tried amnesia, too. Unfortunately, the series was canceled before that story could be concluded, but even then, he was still just as violent as ever. Memory or no memory, Frank Castle will always be the Punisher at heart.

  1. The 2,000 people the Punisher killed were considered all criminals. Kriegoff’s island was populated by hired mercenaries and killers, effectively giving him an entire nation. Yes, that was definitely overkill, but it’s the Punisher, not a superhero.

  2. The reason Puni is different from the other foes the Avengers face is, as mentioned previously, he’s committed to something. He believes in justice, but has no love for what he sees as a corrupt system. Instead, he strikes out to “make the world sane” by dispensing immediate punishment for every misdeed. Is he correct? No. But is he just a random killer? No, of course not. He has a cause, and the years of military training to back it up. Most superheroes are just regular guys that got powers somehow. Even Wolverine’s become kind of a wimp over the years (not just in Ennis’ works), relying more on his healing factor than his training in the Canadian military.

And that’s my two cents.

#20

Daredevil has to get between the two, and while they’re doing that, Punisher quietly pays his bill and slips out the back.
And two guys with superhuman senses didn’t notice because they were too busy arguing. Right.

fires a rocket at Wolverine, blowing apart his lower body.

That would’ve killed him. Wolverine heals well, but he isn’t immortal.

Spider-Man tries to rush the Punisher through an open window, he crashes through a fake floor
That his Spider-Sense didn’t warn him of because…?

Punisher tricks him into thinking that lifting his foot will cause a mound of C4 to go off.
Which his Spider-Sense would have detected (by NOT going off.)

dislocating both of his shoulders on the way down.

How conveeenient.

The explosion seriously damages the Hulk’s insides, forcing him to revert back to Banner to stop the pain.
Again, that would’ve killed him, since Hulk regenerates, but Banner doesn’t.

As for other ways to stop him…he’ll find a way, no matter what.
Yeah, but only because the writers keep giving him the chances. He has no powers or skills that would allow him to escape the solutions I mentioned on his own. Admiring him for coming back is like admiring Aunt May for STILL being alive.

he’s damn near unstoppable.
Actually, Spider-Man can flatten him- With. One. Punch. Did you know Spidey can lift 10 ten tons? He’s just holding back most of the time. Frank is HUMAN, d. Sheer badassness and popularity DON’T make you invincible. Besides, what about the badassness and skill and experience of MARVEL’S THREE BIGGEST CRIMEFIGHTERS? They just forget it all for one story? No. Sorry. It makes no sense, and I’m not giving it to Ennis. Tell him to check his facts better next time. Sends the story to sit next to Spidey’s revised origin

He has a cause,
No he doesn’t. This is the part that REALLY kills the character for me. He’s insane. That’s NOT my opinion: it was stated in a story (possibly an Ennis one) that Frank eventually admitted to himself, that he’s not avenging his family or fighting crime anymore. He’s killing because he has to vent his anger. And he knows he’ll never stop. He’s now a serial killer. His behavior in Civil war certainly seemed to prove it (though I hear that was explained away, but not how.)

I’m not saying Punisher can’t work as a Marvel character. But he needs to a) have his personality and mission reestablished so he’s not just a serial killer, and b) he has to deal with the fact that he must avoid superheroes, or he’ll go the way of Foolkiller, Scourge, Zodiac and all the other killers they’ve brought down over the years.

#21

Um, first off, didn’t the Scourge escape? I mean, they thought they had the Scourge, but then ANOTHER Scourge shot him in the back. Or something like that, I never finished the whole arc. When you have to read through five billion different titles, most of which you don’t care about, just so you could see a master of disguise kill a bunch of villains no one EVER cared about, I lose interest.

And if I remember correctly, the extent of Wolverine’s healing factor has never been fully set; or if it has, no one has ever really adhered to it. Hell, he’s had his body vaporized, limbs torn off, skeleton pulled out, etc., and he’s still alive. As for Hulk, he’s had his flesh seared and flayed off, been crushed by a million different things, shot into outer space, blasted by Black Bolt’s voice full-force, shot repeatedly (as Banner), damn near melted, etc. He could probably recover from damn near anything, as long as he stays in Hulk form for the few seconds it takes to recover. And that he did; he was Hulk for another fifteen lines of dialogue.

I admit, my argument was weak, mostly because I had to throw it together during my dinner break. However, Ennis turning the Punisher into a straight serial killer was more or less part of the MAX line. As mentioned, that isn’t canon (or if it is, is part of its own little pocket). Just to get it out of the way, the MAX line disregards the existence of any superheroes or villains, has a much older Punisher and Nick Fury, and is generally more depressing and downbeat than anything else. Meanwhile, the canon series, Punisher War Journal, has Castle making a turn-around following Captain America’s death, including a stint as “Captain Punisher.”

(No, I am not making that up. And yes, I will have a field day with that one. :too bad:)

And by the way, plot convenience is the hallmark of comics. I mean, isn’t it convenient that Superman’s shuttle happened to make it to Earth unharmed? Isn’t it convenient that Bruce Banner didn’t disintegrate when he was “pelted by gamma rays?” Isn’t it convenient that Squirrel Girl’s victory against Thanos occurred off-screen and what the fuck was up with that I mean it’s Thanos for God’s sake he’s a fucking titan and Squirrel Girl a fucking F-Class superhero is able to beat him what is it Marvel was that supposed to be funny because I’m not laughing!

Sorry. Kinda lost my train of thought. Anyway, after all that, having a former soldier dislocate the shoulders of a guy more or less physically weaker than him is not that uncommon. (And yes, on a technical level, Daredevil is not physically stronger than the Punisher. He’s just a more skilled martial artist with extra-powerful senses. Oh, that’s convenient, too.)

Sorry if I’m sounding pissed here, but this is part of why I’m writing this retrospective. The Punisher is a great underlying character, but nobody can get him completely right. Ennis started to have the right idea, but then took it too far in the other direction with MAX. Fraction started out strong, but the last five issues have been bad enough to make the series’ future doubtful. Everyone before that simply couldn’t make up their minds, or executed good ideas in such a sloppy manner that they were undermined right out of the gate.

The worst part is, even among comic book fans/nerds, you can’t admit to being a Punisher fan. At all. Even if they know nothing about Wonder Woman, they still have either respect or a perverse lust (or both) for her. With the Punisher, you just get laughed at or chased out of the room. He’s a great character I’d love to see more done with, but with Fraction once again dashing my hopes against the rocks, I feel more defensive than ever.

That, and work sucked today.

#22

Um, first off, didn’t the Scourge escape?
Oh, you never found out? Well, I don’t blame you, because THAT storyline ran like forever. Anyway, it turns out the Scourges were a whole organization of villain-killing psychos, commanded by (of all people) The Angel! No, not the X-Men one; the ORIGINAL Angel, a crimefighter from the 1940s. He was now an old man obsessed with helping society by killing all villains. Kinda like Puni, in a way. The whole thing was just an excuse so Marvel could get rid of its surplus villains in one sweep. I hate that kind of writing.

And if I remember correctly, the extent of Wolverine’s healing factor has never been fully set;
That’s true; it started limited enough (Logan was partially incapacitated for days from katana wounds taken in the first Wolverine limited series; currently he has apparently survived being blown up by Nitro. (?) Let’s chalk it up to all the times he’s been revived and recreated by outside sources.) Still, at the level of healing he had at the time the Punisher story came out, he would not likely have survived a bazooka blast to the lower body. Funny how Ennis can increase a character’s powers when convenient, eh?

However, Ennis turning the Punisher into a straight serial killer was more or less part of the MAX line. As mentioned, that isn’t canon
I truly hope so. As I said, if Puni has truly gone from vigilante to serial killer, he’s lost to me as a character.

plot convenience is the hallmark of comics.
Which is my point. But, you have to admit, it isn’t the same thing to celebrate a character when he wins by “luck” (eg, because the story said so) than by his own merits. I don’t mind if Puni keeps getting away, because many other characters also do; it’s part of the genre. But don’t tell me that he can “defeat anybody because he’s badass!” I hate that, mostly because I keep hearing it from Batman, Wolverine, and every freakin’ character that happens to be popular. >_<

Squirrel Girl
SG started as a joke (she beat Dr. Doom!) and that was OK, once (It was likely a Doombot, anyway) but then her current writer (Dan Slott) decided to keep using THE SAME JOKE over and over. Hello? That was funny once, but if SG keeps defeating Marvel’s greatest villains on her own, what does that say about the rest of Marvel’s heroes? Either those stories are NOT in continuity, or it’s actually part of some cosmic being’s plot. Seriously, some Marvel editor needs to say, “Slott, cut it out already.”

you can’t admit to being a Punisher fan.
Really? There seems to be lots on the Comics Boards I frequent… though they most likely just like him because of all the killing he does and not for his strengths as a character. As I mentioned, I DON’T hate Punisher; handled right, he’s an effective character. But the things Ennis (for example) does with him pisses me off.

That, and work sucked today.
Hey, at least you HAVE a job! :thud:

Looking forth to more Punisher facts from you, d. :slight_smile:

#23

Alright, here we go. The most recent of the Punisher’s many ongoing series.

<b>Chapter 6: Current Series: Punisher MAX and War Journal V2</b>

Created in 2001 (due to Marvel’s breaking away from the Comics Code Authority), the MAX brand is reserved for the most graphic, disturbing, and shocking of Marvel’s comics. So, when the Marvel Knights series was canceled, it was only natural that Ennis would take his version on the Punisher (by this point seen as the definitive version, unfortunately) and transplant him into an AO series.

It wasn’t the first time the Punisher appeared under the brand. Previously, Ennis had created a four-issue miniseries, Punisher: Born. Although the Punisher’s time in Vietnam was far from glossed over (being covered fairly extensively in the last issues of Marvel’s Nam series), this was a major retcon in terms of Frank Castle’s general sanity and personality during this time. Whereas before he was presented as unbalanced but mostly there mentally, in Born he was a total psychotic lunatic, actively killing off any commanding officers or fellow soldiers that he thought would shut down his small fortress. In the end, during a massive Viet Cong assault that leaves Castle as the only survivor, a voice calls out to him, telling him that it will grant him “a war without end.” Desperate to survive, Castle agrees to the voice’s demands, and proceeds to KILL THE ENTIRE FUCKING VIET CONG ARMY!

Of course, once he gets home, the voice returns, revealing that in exchange for his war, there’s a little price: his family. Castle is horrified at this, but the voice soon erases any memory of their encounter, and things proceed as normal. Frank Castle’s family go on a picnic, they run into a gangland execution, and the Punisher is born.

(Note: From what I understand, the voice was supposed to be Death, the same Death that Thanos lusts after. Given MAX’s tenuous relationship with canon, this is pretty disputable; however, a supernatural force being the Punisher’s actions would help to explain how he has remained so successful despite having no powers and nearly reaching his seventies.)

The new Punisher series (called Punisher MAX for the interest of this article) launched in 2004, shortly after the previous series was canceled. Just to make sure readers knew this was going to be a VERY different series, Ennis started things off by bringing back the long-dead Microchip, now an agent of the CIA. He manages to capture Castle (mostly because he was surprised to see Micro still alive and was caught off-guard), and tries to persuade him to help the CIA hunt Osama bin Laden. The Punisher, however, is not interested in working with the government, and furthermore knows of Micro’s connection to a drug and weapons trafficking ring in Afghanistan.

The two end up in a warehouse, where the Punisher gives Micro an offer he never gives anyone else: the chance to run. As long as he never sees Castle again, the Punisher will not actively hunt him. However, Micro doesn’t budge, instead opting to help the Punisher in a subsequent shootout with the CIA. When the battle ends, Micro is gutshot, and the CIA agents are all bloody smears on the concrete. In their last meeting, Microchip theorizes the REAL reason Castle keeps visiting his family’s grave: he’s apologizing to them, for using their deaths to create something so horrible. At first he seems to get to the Punisher; however, when Micro tries to use this to wheel his way to safety, he learns that the offer to run has been rescinded, and soon loses his head…courtesy of the Punisher’s sawed-off.

Microchip’s second death was used more as a means of establishing the series’ direction. Ennis basically rewrote the Punisher, keeping some elements of established canon but freely altering anything he felt like. This was HIS Punisher, not Marvel’s. Superheroes were eliminated entirely; the only other Marvel character to appear was Ennis’ bastardization of Nick Fury, a revision so heinous that Stan Lee himself spoke out against both the miniseries and its author. Stories frequently involved R-rated content like pedophilia, human slavery, genocide, rape, biological and nuclear warfare, and above all else, how single actions don’t amount to a damn thing. (The Punisher is frequently faced with the fact that his actions amount to nothing, and that no matter what he does, he can never even create a dent in crime.)

The violence was ramped up significantly. The closest parallel I can think of is the Rambo series. In First Blood Part II (the first incredibly violent Rambo movie), there was blood, but people simply fell over when they were shot. In the latest movie, however, people EXPLODED when they were shot, keeping more in line with what REALLY happens when you’re shot. The MAX series keeps it at this level, with people disintegrating into piles of blood and gore when shot. The body count is also huge; the old Punisher series typically had only two or three Punisher victims per issue, while the MAX series has about twenty a page.

The problem with the MAX series is that it falls back on its violence too much. Ennis is a good writer (despite Wil’s vehement protests), but he simply uses the grittiness and goriness of the Punisher’s exploits to justify toning down the story, especially in later issues. The other thing is, the level of violence is simply unjustifiable for a comic. I’m not naive; I know the world is a cruel, merciless place filled with disgusting people, murders, and general insanity of the worst kind. Do I really need a comic book, a medium designed to provide escapist entertainment, remind me of that?

I don’t want to sound like Wil here, but I really can’t stand looking at the MAX series at times. I have nothing against blood and gore, but it seems like Ennis simply brings in these elements just to have them, not because they have any relevance to what’s going on.

That’s really all I have to say on the subject.

The Punisher may have been chilling at MAX, but back in the mainstream universe, our beloved skull-suited vigilante was still MIA. With the successful MAX series proving that the Punisher still had marketing potential, Marvel decided to bring him back into vogue with a new series, Punisher: War Journal. After years of being published in side brands and spin-offs, the Punisher was back.

The series began with the Civil War event. Wil’s already fired off enough about this, so I’ll just cover the Punisher’s rather significant involvement. He first becomes involved when hunting down a child pornographer. However, Stilt-Man, the dorkiest of all supervillains, was trying his hand at being a hero, and tried to capture the pornographer at the same time. Although the Punisher realized Stilt-Man was really trying to atone for his crimes, he still killed him and his original target. However, with the Initiative using supervillains, he decided to turn his allegiance to the Anti-Registration heroes.

He saved Spider-Man from Stark’s goons (sent after Spidey decided to switch sides), and was reluctantly allowed into the ranks of the Anti-Registration heroes. Unfortunately, he soon blew his position by killing two villains, Pluderer and Goldbug, that had tried to peacefully join the rebellion. Enraged, Captain America beats the shit out of Punisher and kicks him out of the rebel alliance. The Punisher is not seen again until the end of the Civil War, were he picks up Captain America’s discarded mask.

From there, the Punisher changes his tactics. Instead of simply going after regular rank-and-file goons, he decides to go after <i>supervillains</i>. His first act is to pull a Scourge of the Underworld and blow up the Bar With No Name. (Strangely, no one died in the explosion, despite everyone also being poisoned beforehand.) At the same time, G.W. Bridge (yes, I never heard of him before this series, too) is brought out of retirement to lead a SHIELD investigation of the Punisher. The two initially cross paths when Bushwacker, in an attempt to fulfill a contract for the Punisher’s head, uses a hostage to draw Castle out: G.W. ends up kicking Bushwacker’s ass and hauling him back to jail. All in all, a very successful first five issues.

And then, at the end of issue 5, Captain America is shot. And everything changes.

One thing the new series brought up was the Punisher’s great admiration for Captain America. This was mentioned as early as the first ongoing series, with Cap being the only superhero the Punisher really respected and supported. Conversely, Cap saw the Punisher as a psychopath, but also as a fellow soldier. This complicated relationship serves as the main drive for the next five issues, known as the “Captain Punisher” period. Turns out a new Hate-Monger (yet another lame villain revived) created his own version of Captain America’s costume and was leading a militia group to kill illegal immigrants. (Yes, Marvel’s idea of political commentary is about as subtle as a right cross from George Foreman.) Naturally BEYOND pissed, the Punisher creates his OWN Captain America costume (using Cap’s original mask), heads to the US-Mexican border, and eventually wipes out both the new Hate-Monger and his private army.

While we’re talking about lame villain revivals, does anyone remember Rampage? No? Well, he’s back as his alter-ego, Stuart Clarke. Shortly after Punisher killed Stilt-Man, he tracked down Clarke, who had escaped from the Raft and was in hiding. In exchange for not killing him, Clarke works with the Punisher, basically becoming the new Microchip. Unlike the original duo, however, Punisher and Clarke have no illusions of friendship; Clarke knows the Punisher will no doubt kill him when his usefulness runs out, and the Punisher more or less views him as a whiny pest. However, Clarke does create some nifty weapons and gadgets, including a Venom-like cybernetic suit.

And while we’re at it, how about the Rhino, the EPITOME OF STUPID BAD GUYS! Strangely, the series did a good job with him. Rhino is working with two generic thugs to rob banks; however, during a job, he accidentally impales a security guard on a steel pipe (from the wall he smashed through). Guilt-ridden at actually killing someone, he tries to get out of the deal; however, the Punisher has already found out about him, kills the two toughs. The Rhino is saves by Spider-Man…only to be captured by the new Kraven the Hunter, to serve in his “menagerie” of animal-themed supervillains. (Huh?!) The Punisher stops Kraven, and allows the Rhino to “run.” On a closing note, it turns out the Rhino’s guilt was genuine, as he sends the money from the robber, along with a letter, to the security guard’s widow.

The only real storyline to mention besides those is the Punisher’s very brief involvement in World War Hulk. Obviously, Castle knows he has no chance in Hell of facing the Hulk, so he does the next best thing: help evacuate civilians from the area. Despite the massive amount of blood spilled in the process, this is notably the first time since the Punisher’s guest appearances that he appears to do anything remotely heroic. In fact, he actually accomplishes something by going after the lower level thugs in the Warband, rather than immediately try to take out the Jolly Green Giant. (Yeah, great plan there, guys. Let’s rush the big green guy that gets stronger the more pissed he gets…oh, and he has every reason to be pissed at us, because we shot him into space, and he THINKS we’re responsible for blowing up his new home!)

From the time of its inception, Matt Fraction has been headlining the Punisher: War Journal. Now, before Wil begins another “modern comics are all garbage and everyone associated with them sucks” argument, I just want to say that I like Fraction’s work. He seems to understand each character he writes intimately, far more so than anyone else the industry parades around these days. However, he seems to stumble quite a bit with the Punisher. Prior to this, he dealt mostly with straight heroes; however, here, he was focusing on a murderous vigilante with occasional anti-hero tendencies. The same techniques don’t always work.

One problem with the general concept is the idea of the Punisher fighting supervillains. To be fair, in the past, the Punisher would occasionally fight supervillains; however, he always ended up fighting big-name character like Kingpin and Doctor Doom, who would promptly own his ass without much of a struggle. The few times he fought lower-level supervillains were against riff-raff like Bulls-“My hand are broken again!”-eye and Bushwacker, and even then they would escape alive. Here, however, he manages to actually kill supervillains, and even those that escape alive are often scarred for life; for example, not only does Princess Python lose her husband, Stilt-Man, but the Punisher BLINDS her at the same time. Even if these guys are still bottom-rung, the Punisher’s power here is far more than in any other series, and to be frank, it’s a little disconcerting.

Furthermore, the quality of the art is highly inconsistent. In one panel, it looks great, but in the very next panel it looks like something my six-year-old cousin scrawled on a napkin. When compared to the excellent styles of the MAX series (despite the blood and excessive gore), one has to wonder why Marvel decided to ignore the series that actually CAN be sold in stores.

This all brings us to the current storyline, one so bad that it appears to be the death of the series. Jigsaw is brought back, but this time has the power to change between his normal appearance and his more well-known shredded face. Furthermore, he’s sent a group of assassins after the Punisher. The plot stinks, the arc goes on for FAR too long, Jigsaw’s power is ridiculous, the artwork has REALLY gone to shit, and I’ve had about all I can stomach. I hope the series continues, because it has real potential; however, if the staff keep screwing up, I can’t really forsee that.

There, the Punisher’s many comic appearances have been fully covered. However, we’re not done yet. No, there’s still whole realms of media to cover. Next time, we’ll take a look at:

The Punisher video games: Specifically, the beat-em-up and the third-person shooter.

The Punisher’s guest appearances on Spider-Man.

The Punisher movies. (Oh boy, this isn’t gonna be pretty.)

And of course, closing thoughts.

And now, let us listen to Wil’s eternal cursing of Garth Ennis. unfolds a lawn chair, grabs a six-pack, and turns on his iPod.

#24

Gee, thank you SO much, d. :smiley:

But believe it not, I don’t think that Ennis is a BAD writer. THAT’s the really frustrating thing: he’s not talentless, he just likes giving us fans the finger, as if somehow we’re losers for liking superhero stuff but not his “realistic”, ultra-graphic stuff. And that’s the last thing I’m going to say about him. He’s not worth more, really.

And I don’t think ALL modern comics suck. What I hate is the overall publishing philosophies that DC and (to a lesser extent) Marvel have taken with their characters. I hear good things about some DC comics, such as with the new Blue Beetle, but after they killed off the new Flash (quite brutally) after only 13 issues, I’ve become reluctant to follow ANY of their titles. And while I’m generally unhappy with the Civil War results, some good stuff has come out of it (more on that in my Crossover Retrospective.)

As for your latest posting, I found a lot I didn’t know about Puni’s Viet Nam background. I don’t like it, but I think we can agree that the supernatural angle doesn’t work for castle. This is going to be topical soon anyway, since they won’t be able to keep linking him to the 'Nam in a few years, not without changing his name to the Geriatric Punisher. :stuck_out_tongue:

I am disappointed to see the “real” Punisher is still fucked up. Killing a repentant Stilt-Man despite knowing he was trying to do good? But, then he feels sorry for Rhino… make up your mind, already!

I’m sorry if my comments are annoying you, d. But like you, I’m highly annoyed with some of the things done with the character… it doesn’t mean I hate him, or that I don’t think he can’t be fixed with the right writing. But please don’t paint me as single-minded. Now THAT I hate.

Looking forth to your next post! :wink:

#25

Wil: Relax, I’m just messing with ya.

And now, the FINAL CHAPTER!

<b>Chapter 7: The Punisher in other Media</b>

Like any comic book character with an inkling of popularity, the Punisher has appeared in numerous movies, tv shows, video games, and other merchandise. Although he hasn’t had as much merchandising as characters like Spider-Man or Superman, he’s still lightyears ahead of characters like the Hulk and Wonder Woman (and even as a Punisher fan, I think there’s something wrong with that.) Anyway, here we go:

VIDEO GAMES:

The Punisher (Amiga, DOS): I’ve never actually played this game. The little information I’ve been able to gather indicates it was more or less a series of missions, with multiple types of levels such as driving the Battle-Van and scuba-diving.

The Punisher (NES): Arguably the first mainstream Punisher game…and easily the worst of the bunch. Gameplay is set up in the same style as Operation: Wolf, with the screen constantly scrolling to the left or right and enemies popping up. When an enemy appears, you move your cursor over them and kill them before they can shoot. Sounds easy, right? Well…no.

First, the developers decided it would be a SMASHING idea to place the Punisher’s upper body in the screen. This is supposed to show where he’s standing, and allow you to dodge enemy attacks. However, this never works, thanks to the AWFUL controls. You use the D-Pad to both aim the cursor AND move the Punisher; in fact, he won’t move at all unless you slide the damn thing all the way to the extreme edge. This makes “on the fly” movement impossible. Furthermore, the boss fights are nearly impossible; and if, by some blessed miracle or by cheating, you manage to reach the Kingpin (the final boss, BTW), you will die. I am not kidding, this game is all but unwinnable, thanks to that impossible Kingpin fight, the awful controls, and the general sense that you could be doing something better with your time. Like playing the actual Operation: Wolf.

Lastly, there’s something about the game that bothers me. In the comics, the Punisher is highly tactical, and is vehemently against killing or even seriously harming innocents in any way. In here, however, he decides to fight crime by KILLING EVERYTHING IN HIS WAY. This doesn’t just include gangsters; no, he blows apart buildings, windows, boats, docks, etc. He can even kill civilians (such as a blues musician) without suffering ANY PENALTY WHATSOEVER. I don’t know, maybe a young Garth Ennis channeled his mind into the developers.

The Punisher (Arcade, Genesis): When you think of a Punisher video game, many times this is the one that comes to mind. The Punisher was created by Capcom as a follow-up to their successful line of beat-em-ups, most notably Final Fight. As a result, Punisher Arcade proved not only to be an extremely fun game, it also managed to capture much of the violence of the early Punisher comics without dipping into full-on gore.

The game was more or less a straight beat-em-up, with a few tweaks. First was the sheet number of weapons. Over the course of his rampage, the Punisher uses knives, fire extinguishers, pool sticks, chairs, a robot’s arm, grenades, swords, baseball bats, etc. Second was the shoot-outs. Occasionally, enemies with guns would come running up; the Punisher would oblige by pulling out his gack and wacking himself some crooks. Unfortunately, once all the gun-toting enemies were dead, he would quickly put his weapon back. Finally, the game actually had a plot, with mid-level cutscenes and a few nifty twists. The game starts with the Punisher going after Bruno, the man responsible for killing his family. However, at the end of the second level, a robot is sent by the Kingpin to kill Bruno (which it does) and the Punisher (who beats the shit out of it). From there, the Punisher works to undermine the Kingpin’s criminal empire, before finally taking the giant man out for good.

Also noteworthy was the fact that there were, in fact, three scripts, based on what characters were in use. Obviously, there had to be a multiplayer aspect, so Capcom also added in Nick Fury as the P2. However, since Fury is a much different person than Castle, he was given his own lines of dialog. And finally, if you have both players in at once, the game follows a third script, with the Punisher and Fury becoming unwilling allies in bringing down the Kingpin.

These differences are highlighted at the end of the first stage:

  1. If the Punisher is alone, he interrogates the boss. Once he knows where to go next, he kills him with a gunshot to the head.

  2. If Nick Fury is alone, he interrogates the boss, but rather than kill him, simply knocks him unconscious with a roundhouse.

  3. If both are in play, the Punisher and Fury both interrogate the boss. Once he’s spilled the beans, the Punisher kills him, with Fury berating him for the act.

The Punisher (PC, PS2, Xbox): The last game on our list. Although it was released around the same time as the movie, this game has very few ties with the film (thank God); instead, it opts to adapt Garth Ennis’ work on the Punisher into a video game, spanning two complete Ennis tales before spinning off into some original material. Ultimately, the plot is about Jigsaw working his way through the criminal underworld, with a plan that involves Iron Man’s armor, the Yakuza, the Kingpin, and even the Punisher himself. The Punisher, meanwhile, has been arrested, and narrates the levels in a series of flashbacks.

The game was a pretty standard third-person shooter. The Punisher could hold two guns at a time, much like Halo. He could walk or run, jump, crawl, and shoot, as well. However, the game did have a few new tricks. The first was using human shields. If the Punisher got close to an enemy, he could grab them and use them to take some bullets. This was essential to making it through the later levels, were enemies came in entire armies. The second was the Rage meter. The meter slowly filled as the Punisher got combos (consecutive kills without taking a hit) or took damage; once filled, he could use his rage to pull out a pair of knives, become invincible, and rain Hell itself upon his foes.

The last, and most well-known gimmick, was the Interrogation system. At any time, the Punisher could take a human shield, and turn them into a bastion of information thanks to some well-placed torture. There were four basic tortures, with two available anytime (strangling and punching), one only available if you had a handgun equipped (gun tension), and a last one only working if there was a wide enough space (face smashing). Furthermore, there were special Interrogations, such as putting an enemy under a steel press, or hanging them off a ledge, or threatening to drill out their eyes with a laser. There were also a handful of special Execution markers, where the Punisher could kill his enemies in style. (My personal favorite was in the zoo level, where the Punisher cuts out an enemy’s heart on a mock Aztec altar.) All of these gave the Punisher experience points, which could then be used to unlock additional items, power-ups, and other materials.

However, all of these elements were ruined by one thing: excessive censorship. Rather than risk having parents’ groups complain, the developers used black-and-white effects, motion blurs, fast forwards, etc. to obscure the many violent deaths. Furthermore, interrogations were changed so that, if you kill your enemy in the middle of things, you lose experience, even if you got the info out of them. I know I just complained about how excessively violent Punisher MAX was, but this is different. This is a video game, an M-rated video game at that. Considering how most kids don’t know who the Punisher is (thanks to the MAX series having extremely limited availability), I doubt they would be rushing to get their hands on the game. Meanwhile, I’m stuck sitting around, playing a neutered excuse for a Punisher title. When I drop a guy into a wood chipper, I want to see bloody chunks spewing out the other side; NOT the Punisher staring smugly at 5x normal speed.

That said, the game isn’t bad, and is at least worth picking up now that it’s cheaper than dirt. It’s also backwards compatible on the 360, although I don’t know about the PS3. The PC version can also be played uncensored, with a little bit of hacking.

Next time: I’ll take a look at the movies. We’ll start with a flick that has nothing to do with the Punisher, and then watch another that has no clue what it’s trying to do.

#26

Wil: Relax, I’m just messing with ya.

I hoped so. I’m just getting paranoid in my old age, Gallo. :stuck_out_tongue:

The Punisher games sound surprisingly good. Not really my kind of stuff, but well done. Except for that Torture System thing. I find it disturbing. Remind me not to go play games at your home, d.
:hahaha;

Btw, aren’t you forgetting one comic book version of The Punisher…?

http://www.thefourthrail.com/reviews/snapjudgments/012102/marvelmangaversepunisher1.shtml

:hahaha;:hahaha;:hahaha;

#27

Wil: I think the reason the Punisher’s actually had some success in gaming is because he’s, like you say, a guy with guns. There’s no powers to emulate, no major supervillians to transpose over, no real world-shattering crisis or anything. It’s very easy to make a good action game when you don’t have to explain how regular bullets can suddenly harm Superman, or how Spider-Man can magically stick his webs to clouds, or how Iron Man can be such a wuss I mean come on how can you screw up Iron Man so badly Sega and then you did it with Hulk you bastardized Ultimate Destruction you-

deep breath Okay, I’m back.

And for bringing up the Mangaverse Punisher, I have to kill you.

And now, to continue our discussion of other media.

THE MOVIES

It’s hard to believe it now, but there was a long time when comic book characters simply couldn’t break into films. You had a few rare exceptions, like the first Superman movie (which still ranks as my personal favorite superhero film) and Batman (before Schumacher came in and nearly destroyed the franchise), but nobody took any of these characters seriously, thanks to a certain sixties TV series that proved that, if you want to make a show about a comic book hero, don’t have it directed by a guy that hates all comics.

Marvel really wanted to make it in the movies for a long time, especially after the enormous take of Superman. However, they could never get any projects off the ground. It wasn’t until Spider-Man that Marvel really took control of comic book movies away from DC, and started to turn them into respectable cinema. However, one of the first Marvel characters to get his shot at movie stardom was, in fact, the Punisher. (Captain America had some god-awful made-for-TV films, but nothing in actual theaters.)

Anyway, the Punisher had two shots in the cinemas so far, with a third film coming out in December. (Because, you know, the Punisher is <i>such</i> a family-friendly role model of moral fiber and proper social interactions.) And guess what? Both stunk. But we’re covering them anyway.

The first film: The Punisher (1989, Starring Dolph Lundgren as the Punisher)

My God…where do I begin with this? Well, you know how movies like Fantastic Four completely fucked with the established canon? Well, imagine that, but on a scale so immense that the finished product has absolutely no relation to the comic book on which it’s SUPPOSED TO BE BASED. That is the 1989 Punisher movie, easily the worst comic book movie I have ever had the misfortune of seeing. Hulk had Ang Lee and was a decent film (just shitty as a Hulk movie). Superman IV was so hilariously bad it became awesome. Batman and Robin had a side-splitting performance by the governator. The Punisher has NOTHING.

The first screw-up is with the Punisher’s origin. As we all know, in the comics, he and his family (Maria, Frank Jr. and Lisa) were picnicking when they saw a mob execution. They were gunned down, but Frank survived. Unable to use the law to stop his family’s killers (thanks to massive corruption in the NYPD), he became the Punisher. In the movie, Castle is a police detective (guh?). His family (Julie, Annie and Felice) are killed in a car bomb intended for Frank. As a result, he becomes the Punisher.

First off, how the hell did they get the movie version from the comic version? Second off, why were the names changed? Third, why was Frank, Jr. turned into a girl? Fourth, how does witnessing a car bombing hold the same impact as damn near being killed yourself? Fifth, where is the motivation for Castle becoming the Punisher? In the comics, he was already mentally unstable (being in Nam will do that for ya); his family’s death simply pushed him down the dark road. Here, he seems relatively together until they die, at which point he goes promptly looney.

Anyway, the movie is about the Punisher fighting off the Yakuza, who are trying to take control of the entire American criminal underworld. To do this, the Yakuza kidnap the children of the Mafia leaders in an attempt to blackmail them. The Punisher and the leader of the Mafia, Franco, fight back against the Yakuza, eventually rescuing the kids and Franco’s son. Of course, the mob boss then tries to backstab Castle, gets killed, and the movie thankfully ends.

This film is…ugh…so incredibly stupid I don’t want to dwell on it anymore. The Yakuza are shown more like ninjas than anything else, and their leader is a woman. Note to American filmmakers: Not only are Yakuza the polar opposite of ninjas, but they do not allow women into their organization, especially as bosses. Microchip has been turned into Shake, a drunk of a bum that somehow become the Punisher’s only friend. And the absolute worst part? No skull shirt. None. It’s like having a Captain America movie without his shield. It’s like they had a half-finished script lying around, and decided to just slap the Punisher in there and call it a day.

The End. I’m not covering this crap any more.

The second film: The Punisher (2004, starring Thomas Jane as the Punisher)

Fifteen years had passed since the last nightmarishly stupid film, and much had changed with the Punisher. In particular, Ennis had managed to recreate his image in the comic book world, turning him into a far more sinister and brooding figure when compared to his original incarnation. As a result, it was time for another movie. And although it fared a little better, it was still pretty damn ridiculous, with some piss-poor acting and a terrible script dragging it down.

The movie once again changes the Punisher’s origins; however, the changes here are far less severe. Frank Castle is a FBI agent, working undercover to bust the Saint family’s drug operations. After a sting operation results in the death of one of Howard Saint’s sons, the Saints decide to kill the Punisher’s entire family as retribution. Fortunately for them, the family is attending a reunion in Puerto Rico, making it very easy to take them all out. Castle’s family (this time without Lisa) is run down trying to reach a boat, and the Punisher himself is shot several times and dumped in the ocean. Of course, this being a summer action flick, he easily survives, grabs some guns from his dad’s collection, and most importantly, picks up a skull-bearing t-shirt his son had bought for him. (SEE?! Was that so fucking hard, 1989 movie director?!)

From there, the Punisher moves into a small ramshackle apartment building, along with fellow tenants Dave, Joan, and Bumpo. However, all three are portrayed much differently from their comic book alternates: Dave is a pro gamer that vents about how his parents chastise him, Bumpo is an opera-loving cook in a Hawaiian shirt, and Joan works at a nearby diner that the others frequent. All three also have much less bearing than they did in “Welcome Back, Frank,” often being used solely for comic relief.

The Punisher is also shown as being far more tactical and mechanically-inclined than before. Using the power of a montage, he is able to turn his car into a tank (which is promptly destroyed without using any of its gadgets), and his apartment is laced with torture devices (only one of which is used), a hidden elevator (which is also only used once), several hidden guns (only one of which is used), and apparently sound-proof walls, as we’ll see an hour later. I swear, this whole montage violates Chekhov’s Gun in damn near every way imaginable; why show us put rocket launchers in his car IF HE NEVER USES THEM?!

Of course, the cops still won’t help him bring down the Saints (despite having about four dozen dead), so the Punisher captures an incredibly annoying valet, Micky, and “tortures” him with a blowtorch until he agrees to help. (In fact, Castle was simply roasting a piece of steak, and was using psychology to make him THINK he was being burned alive. Tricky.) Micky helps the Punisher tail Saint’s two main weaknesses: his wife, Livia, and his best friend, Glass (who, it turns out, is a closet homosexual).

Rather than actually act like the comic Punisher, this version decides to destroy Saint’s criminal empire, as well as his life, before finally closing in on the main man. He tricks Saint into thinking Livia and Glass are having an affair, while also shutting down the Saint family’s money laundering and drug trafficking activities. Not realizing Glass is actually gay, Saint eventually kills both him and his wife, while also sending the Russian to deal with Castle. Here, in the most ludicrous scene of the film, the Russian ambushes Castle in his apartment and proceeds to beat the shit out of him, while his neighbors sing along to opera music while enjoying dinner at Bumpo’s. So, let me get this straight: opera music is loud enough to cover the sound of doors crashing down, people screaming, a guy getting hit by a toilet, gunshots, windows smashing, swinging chains, etc. In fact, it’s loud enough to cover the sounds WHEN THEY ARE FIVE FEET AWAY, GOD DAMN IT!

From there, the movie more or less follows “Welcome Back, Frank,” until the last scene at the Saint’s nightclub. Using scenes ripped from “The Punisher: Year One,” a comic I…forgot to cover, the Punisher manages to kill EVERY MOBSTER AT THE NIGHTCLUB, save for Howard Saint and his last son, John. Instead, the Punisher straps plastic explosive to the son’s hand and rigs it so that it’ll go off if he drops it. When Saint himself tries to run, the Punisher shoots out his knees just as John’s bomb goes off. Castle reveals his masterful plan, and then ties Saint to a remote-controlled car and sends him rolling into the parking lot, where he sets off enough C-4 to create a giant flaming Punisher skull. The end.

The movie’s Punisher is certainly more cerebral than many versions of the character, especially the mid-90s version. He actually kills very few people directly, instead focusing on destroying Saint on the inside before going for the jugular. The plot’s actually all right for a straight “things go boom” action movie; however, the dialog is atrociously bad. Further hampering things is the acting. Thomas Jane is great as the Punisher, and it’s sad that he won’t be in the next movie; however, nearly everyone else just grated on me more than anything. Especially annoying was John Travolta as Howard Saint, and as tempting as it is to make a Scientology crack here, I’m just gonna say he was horribly miscast for the role of a crime boss.

In the end, I’d recommend the movie if you just need a quick action fix, or if it’s on TV. However, as far as Punisher movie adaptations go, it’s light years ahead of the previous crap, but still pretty poor.

The third film: Punisher: War Zone (2008, starring Ray Stevenson as the Punisher)

The latest movie has been in development hell for years; filming was supposed to start back in 2004, but numerous script rewrites and Thomas Jane leaving the franchise eventually delayed it until this year. And then the release date was bumped from September (a month that makes sense) to December (a month that makes no sense). Further hampering things is that this is actually a reboot.

That being said, I’m still gonna see it, even though it’ll probably be the same as the last movie. At least they’re using Jigsaw, an actual Punisher villain, this time around. Furthermore, Microchip will also be featured, after the last movie shunted him in favor of the Ennis universe. So, I’m just remaining cautiously optimistic at this point.

Also, and I’m just throwing it out here, but would this also be fitted into the shared Marvel movie universe, like Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk? I know the Punisher really doesn’t fit in as well, but he IS a Marvel character, and it would be cool to have him along.

Next time: Punisher is in a cartoon…and we ponder what might have been.

#28

d: Say what you will about the Mangaverse Punisher, but at least she lived up to the name! :smiley: OK, so fighting crime by spanking criminals is (intentionally) dumb, but at least she was actually punishing them, while Frank doesn’t believe in teaching lessons. Really, he should be called The Executioner instead, except that name was already taken. :stuck_out_tongue:

And yeah, those movies STUNK. Good thing I passed on them. (Nice that they mentioned Puerto Rico, however. ) I’m probably not going to see War Zone either, though I’d like to hear your review of it. And yeah, while I’m sure the movie won’t be part of Marvel’s planned crossovers, I wouldn’t be surprised if some references are planted (like Puni buying Stark stuff, things like that.) Fans love those.

#29

I didn’t like the 2004 movie very much, with the exception of the fingerquotes “torture” scene. That bit was great.

But anyway, good read. You have a certain style about you, Gallowman.

#30

Alrighty, folks, we’re moving on home!

TV APPEARANCES:

You know…the Punisher never had a TV show. (Gee, I wonder why.) However, he did guest star in a well-known Saturday morning cartoon, starring everyone’s favorite perpetual loser superhero in red-and-blue tights. No, I’m not talking about the new Captain America, I’m talking about Spider-Man.

I’ve already voiced some of my opinions on the Spider-Man 90s cartoon back in the Hulk Retrospective, but if you missed them, here’s my opinion: the show has NOT held up very well. And the Punisher’s appearance has not only aged far worse, but it’s enough to make me want to grab Stan Lee and throw him through my TV screen. Then again, I have the same feeling after watching “Who Wants to be a Superhero?” so I can’t really tell if it’s conditioned or if I’m just been reading the Punisher too long.

Anyway, the Punisher appeared in the middle of the second season, which for those who don’t know was a season-long epic called “Neogenic Nightmare.” And by “epic,” I mean “a bunch of stand-alone episodes they strung together with extremely loose plot ties.” Basically, Spider-Man is undergoing another mutation, which is turning him into a spider. Okay, that happened in the comics, so that’s fine. However, by the time Puni is involved, it’s gotten to that ridiculously stupid “Spider-Man grew two more arms” phase. Why the writers felt the urge to turn Spider-Man into Goro is unknown to me, but even as a kid, I felt like going Brutality on their asses. It was stupid in the comics, and it’s even worse in the show.

Anyway, the Punisher is initially shown respectively enough. Although he’s not allowed to kill anyone on the show (I guess they figured Uncle Ben’s death was enough murder for one cartoon), he is described as being extremely violent, aggressive, and a killer several times over. He’s also assisted by Microchip (now called Chip), who begs him to use non-lethal weapons. This is in stark contrast to the real Microchip, who, while often disapproving of Castle’s general demeanor and psychological breakdown, NEVER QUESTIONED HIS METHODS. Hell, he was just as bloodthirsty as the Punisher; he simply wasn’t a fighter, and instead just made weapons and gadgets.

Moving on. The Punisher gets involved with trying to capture Spider-Man, who by this point is going through yet another mutation. After a failed attempt to capture him, the Punisher corners him in a warehouse…only to find that Spider-Man is now Man-Spider. Um…huh. And just to make things better, Kraven the Hunter gets involved. And I’m not talking about “I’ll kill you and take your place” Kraven, I’m talking about “I was evil but now I’m nice” Kraven. The two end up chasing Man-Spider for a while, are captured, and then trapped in Man-Spider’s web. Of course, in the end, Man-Spider is turned back into our beloved two-armed Spider-Man (although he’s still mutating; we have five episodes left in the season, people!), everyone goes their separate ways, the Punisher learns killing is wrong, someone finds the Tablet of Time, and-

Wait, what? “THE PUNISHER LEARNS KILLING IS WRONG?” What the crap is this? Not only is having an adults-only comic book character in a Saturday morning cartoon a dumb idea, but they have to take away the thing that makes his character important? He’s a vigilante. He kills people. He’s probably the closest thing comics have to a realistic protagonist. (Batman has billions of dollars and space-age weaponry, so he doesn’t count.) But what does the show do? It makes him into a total wuss (even for a non-powered human), and THEN have everyone kick him in the balls about his actions…and have him take it!

And that’s not his only appearance. He showed up AGAIN, during the Green Goblin saga in the fourth season. The third season finale ended with Norman Osbourne (in his Green Goblin attire) recreating the infamous Gwen Stacy bridge death, only with Mary Jane. However, instead of falling to her death, Mary Jane…is sucked into an interdimensional portal. I’m gonna shoot myself now.

Okay, turns out I don’t own a gun. But anyway, the Punisher’s involvement in the season after begins with him continuing his “life lesson” learned in his last appearance. He’s trying to find Mary Jane Watson, in hopes of finally accomplishing something. Somehow, he manages to find her (I don’t remember how), and leaves feeling happy for once. Of course, Mary Jane turns out to be a water-based clone in the following season (WHAT?!), so his whole adventure was for nothing.

And that’s pretty much the Punisher’s sole appearance in television. I would like to actually see a Punisher series (maybe on HBO or Showtime, where censorship is much more lenient), but I can’t imagine that coming anytime soon.

Before we conclude our little journey through Punishment-land, let’s talk about some of the Punisher’s appearances in another comic series: Marvel What-If. Basically, it was an anthology of stories where the writers would explore how things might have been different had some event changed. Many were ridiculously stupid (Kingpin forgets to brush his teeth, and the world is destroyed in a nuclear war), but the Punisher had a few good ones I’d just like to cover here.

Probably the best of the lot was “What if the Punisher’s Family Lived?” Like the title says, the Castle family was never involved in the mob execution; rather, a sudden rain storm forced them to cancel their picnic, meaning they never came across the hanging. The Punisher joins the NYPD, where he experiences the intense corruption that, in the main universe, would ultimately turn him into a vigilante. Well, turns out the same thing happens; Castle starts to secretly try and clean out police corruption, so the mob still kills his family. However, this Punisher is far different; he is far more rational and sane, the scale of his tragedy unites the public behind him, he willingly works with the press (especially the Daily Bugle), and is even highly-regarded amongst a few superheroes. In the end, he ends up having a positive impact on the world, and becomes a hero, even if an extreme one.

Less successful was “What if the Punisher was Venom?” In this case, Spider-Man still gets rid of the symbiote using a church bell. However, instead of Eddie Brock, the Punisher is at the church, having picked it at random. He ends up being coated with the black alien, and with his new powers, wages an even more extreme war on crime. Micro’s son is also never killed, due to Punisher-Venom killing his murderer far more quickly. However, like before, the suit begins to take over the Punisher’s mind, and he begins to attack innocents. Before he can lose it completely, he ends up in a mental war with the suit, and finally convinces it to work <i>with</i> him rather than against him. The two now sharing an understanding, the Punisher continues his crusade, with a far bloodier outlook than before.

Our last example is “What if the Punisher killed Daredevil?” Here, the Punisher uses a tranq dart on Daredevil during their first encounter, as happened in the series. However, Daredevil suddenly staggers in the wrong direction, and falls off the building, dying on impact. This action turns the entire superhero community on the Punisher at once, with Spider-Man leading the charge. Unable to defeat him normally, the Punisher is forced to shoot Spider-Man, knocking him unconscious. However, this also causes Spider-Man’s identity to be revealed, and a mob hit takes out Aunt May. Ben Urich is then killed in a similar fashion. Finally piecing it all together, the Punisher attempts to take down the mastermind behind the attacks: the Kingpin. However, an insane Peter Parker tries to kill him in revenge. Left with no other choice, the Punisher kills Peter and breaks into the Kingpin’s office, where he sets off a ton of explosives, killing himself and the king of crime.

There was also “What if the Punisher killed Spider-Man?” It was more or less a retread of the previous example, only with the Punisher killing Spider-Man instead of Daredevil, and then the Jackal instead of the Kingpin. It sucked. Hard.

Oh, and who can forget “What if Nobody Watched the Watcher?” Already filled with horrible joke storylines (like “What if Tony Stark ran a Drycleaning Business?”), the issue had two fake Punisher stories. The first, “What if the Punisher was a Hall Monitor?”, has our second-favorite psychopathic anti-hero capturing two truants before taking them to see Principal Hulk. The second, “What if the Punisher’s Family Lived but Frank Castle Died?” has the Castle’s becoming a whole family of cigar-smoking Punishers. There was so much wrong with that last one I don’t know where to begin, but it was meant to be a joke, so I can’t really fault it that much.

Next time: Closing thoughts.