Wow, anticlimactic.

Its that time again. Time for another pointless 1K post. I’m going to do the usual Q & A, not to break tradition. So ask me your questions, serious or silly, and I’ll do my best to answer them.

But I also wanted to tell you guys the story of how I came to be a regular poster here on these here boards.

It all started a little over 6 months ago… (Que wavy flashback effect.)

I was at a friend’s house playing video games. FFTactics to be specific. My buddy got stuck at a certain point, and I was assigned the task of looking up what he had to do. So I hopped on his computer and started looking around.

I came to find this cool site called RPGClassics. Within minutes, I found the info I was searching for, and told my friend. While he played, I continued to look around the site. I was impressed with what I saw. Then I noticed that there were message boards. Cool, I thought, and clicked the link.

Immediately, my heart started racing. I got short of breath, cold sweats, and my vision got blurry. Then everything went black. My friend said I passed out and my head slammed down on the keyboard. He also said QWERTY was imprinted in my forehead for about a week, but I don’t believe him.

After I came to, I went to the doctor’s office. I got checked out, and he couldn’t find anything wrong. So I went home. A week later, I was on my computer, and I went back to RPGClassics. Still wanting to see the message boards, I clicked the link again. No sooner had I done that, when I had another episode. My head slammed against the keyboard again, and it was back to the doctors.

He still couldn’t find anything physically wrong with me, so he sent me for a psychiatric consultation. I went and talked to the shrink for a while and answered a bunch of questions. He asked what I was doing when I had my episodes and I told him. He had a curious expression on his face. “Do me a favor,” he said, handing me his laptop, “Show me how it happened.” Reluctantly, I agreed.

When I came to, I was still on his couch. “It’s just as I suspected,” he said. “I’ve seen this once before while I was in school. You have… agoraphobia.” I stared at him blankly.

“I took the train here,” I replied. “I work in a crowded office. There is no way I’m agoraphobic.”

He looked at me with pity. “This is a very rare, very specific form of agoraphobia. It is known as RPGClassics Agoraphobia.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “This is serious, son,” he said. “It can even be fatal if not treated right.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” I asked.

“Don’t worry, I have a plan.” He started with hypnosis. He instilled a subconscious belief in me that I had the strength to handle the Agora. Then he woke me up. He then got his laptop back out. He opened it up and went to RPGClassics. “This is the hard part. You need to focus all your energy right now. I will help you concentrate.” He dimmed the lights, lit a few candles, and handed me the laptop.

First I steadied my breathing, and did some meditation to calm myself. I then summoned all my energy and clicked the link. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt myself almost go right away, but some part of me held on. I fought the initial nausia and slowly my vision cleared. I was holding back from blacking out the best I could. After 15 intense minutes of struggle, I had registered my user name.

“Good,” the shrink said. “That is a very good first step. Come back tomorrow and I’ll help you with your first post.” So I went home and slept for the rest of the day, exhausted from my ordeal.

The next day I went back and we repeated the process. It was easier this time. After a couple hours, I had made a few posts. The shrink looked at me proudly. “You’ve come a long way,” he said. “I think you’re ready to go at it alone. Come back and see me in a week.”

A week later and I was almost comfortable posting. I went back to visit the doctor. He told me, “I am impressed with your progress. But know this, you cannot be fully cured of this disease until you have made 1000 posts. And spamming doesn’t count! That will only get you banned and ruin all the hard work we have done. Now you will meet some people who you will like, and some you won’t. Some people will like you, and some won’t. You’ll just have to deal with that. Be strong and you’ll get through this dark time.”

With a newfound confidence, I continued to post. Some days I was stronger than others. A couple times I almost gave up, but a phone call to my shrink renewed my determination.

And now, here I am. 999 posts. 1 post away from being cured. I am so excited to finally have this monkey off my back. And I have all of you to thank for it. Thank you all for helping me cure this quasi-terminal disease. I don’t know what I would have done without you guys.

Sob. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…

That…was fugging BEAUTIFUL, man! wipes tear

And now, a question: What’s your favorate thing about this place?

FOOL.

I’m still far from 1000!

This is the best 1000 posts thread ever.

What is your avatar of?

Are you more evil than November, Lord of Simultaneous Due Dates?

who would win, robocop or MacGyver?

Do I keep my 29 warrior there for WSG, or do I continue to level him to 60? Either way, I will obliterate everything.

I’m sad because I’ve been here so much longer than him, and am nowhere near 1000. :frowning:

YOU have problems YP? :stuck_out_tongue:

Anyway, Is the moon made of cheese? If so, what type?

I think his avatar is the Peacekeeper symbol.

I’d say the humor is my favorite thing. You guys crack me up. You’re all a bunch of wise-asses, and I love that.

That is not a question.

It’s the Peacekeeper symbol from Farscape.

And since I was born in November, I inherited some of that evil on top of my own, thus making me slightly more evil.

That one’s easy. MacGyver would use a paper clip and a chewed piece of gum to reprogram Robocop. Then MacGyver could just have Robocop destroy himself, or even better, make him his Roboslave. Also, MacGyver’s mullet is bulletproof. I don’t know if you knew that.

Uhhh… Both?

Look buddy, I have a disease. But seriously, I post at work, letting me post 5 days a week, 8 hours a day if I really want to.

The moon actually doesn’t exist. It is just part of the big video screen in the sky that surrounds the planet and plays video of clouds and junk.

Yup. Enforced peace via military superiority.

How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?

North Korea or Cuba?

M16 or AK?

Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?

Why am I so thin? :frowning:

If you could change the general society’s characteristic what would you change?
(i.e peolpe are too stupid, they need to get smarter; etc)

If you were somehow stranded in a mall after closing time without security cameras, access to the keys of every store, and a $1000, what would you do?

Tornados or Thunder Storms?
Should I escape the Matrix, even though I know how horrible it is outside?
Egg a house or TP a wetlawn/tree?

You can’t. Instead you have to grow up as a mal-adjusted musician who shuts himself off from the outside world.

Cuba for the cigars.

I’d choose the M16 over the AK for two main reasons, it is more accurate, and it is more ergonomic. For example, the rate of fire selector (safe, semi-auto, auto) on the M16 is on the left, by the handle, so a right-handed user could easily toggle it with his thumb. On the AK, the fire selector is on the right, where it is difficult to reach while in firing position. Also, newer models of the M16 such as the M16-A2 have a 3 round burst mode instead of full auto. This is definitely the way to go in my opinion. I know the AK is more reliable than the M16, and the M16 requires frequent maintenance. But that is nothing a well trained soldier can’t handle.

Your office was already a house of lies. Don’t blame that shit on me.

You’re forgetting the neglected food groups, such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic! I recommend a slow, steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.

I think people are over-reliant on modern technology. Not so much computers and the internet, but things like refrigerators, microwaves, supermarkets, etc. We depend on so many things to survive. The average person couldn’t survive a week alone in a forest. Would you know which berries are poisonous? How many people do you know that could start a fire without matches? Probably not many. I think people need to know more about survival in the world and not survival in society.

I’d probably just unlock the main doors and leave. I have $1000, I don’t need to steal anything.

Thunder storms are cooler because they’re loud and flashy. Also, they kill way less people.

Definitely take the blue pill. The real world sucks ass.

I’d go with the egging because if they don’t clean it right away, it can leave a permenant mark. While you’re at it, throw a couple pieces of bologna on the hood of their car too. It takes the paint off.

do you plan to test all these ideas you’re having for the flmaing mouse/rat project in safe, secure areas, or in environments that will be included in the game (disney, london, etc.)

certainly not wensleydale if that’s what you were thinking.

That was awesome. The most entertaining 1000 posts thread by far (of those I’ve read). ^^

so question…umm…can’t think of any…
What restaurant in Boston would you reccomend?