Its that time again. Time for another pointless 1K post. I’m going to do the usual Q & A, not to break tradition. So ask me your questions, serious or silly, and I’ll do my best to answer them.
But I also wanted to tell you guys the story of how I came to be a regular poster here on these here boards.
It all started a little over 6 months ago… (Que wavy flashback effect.)
I was at a friend’s house playing video games. FFTactics to be specific. My buddy got stuck at a certain point, and I was assigned the task of looking up what he had to do. So I hopped on his computer and started looking around.
I came to find this cool site called RPGClassics. Within minutes, I found the info I was searching for, and told my friend. While he played, I continued to look around the site. I was impressed with what I saw. Then I noticed that there were message boards. Cool, I thought, and clicked the link.
Immediately, my heart started racing. I got short of breath, cold sweats, and my vision got blurry. Then everything went black. My friend said I passed out and my head slammed down on the keyboard. He also said QWERTY was imprinted in my forehead for about a week, but I don’t believe him.
After I came to, I went to the doctor’s office. I got checked out, and he couldn’t find anything wrong. So I went home. A week later, I was on my computer, and I went back to RPGClassics. Still wanting to see the message boards, I clicked the link again. No sooner had I done that, when I had another episode. My head slammed against the keyboard again, and it was back to the doctors.
He still couldn’t find anything physically wrong with me, so he sent me for a psychiatric consultation. I went and talked to the shrink for a while and answered a bunch of questions. He asked what I was doing when I had my episodes and I told him. He had a curious expression on his face. “Do me a favor,” he said, handing me his laptop, “Show me how it happened.” Reluctantly, I agreed.
When I came to, I was still on his couch. “It’s just as I suspected,” he said. “I’ve seen this once before while I was in school. You have… agoraphobia.” I stared at him blankly.
“I took the train here,” I replied. “I work in a crowded office. There is no way I’m agoraphobic.”
He looked at me with pity. “This is a very rare, very specific form of agoraphobia. It is known as RPGClassics Agoraphobia.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “This is serious, son,” he said. “It can even be fatal if not treated right.”
“So what am I supposed to do?” I asked.
“Don’t worry, I have a plan.” He started with hypnosis. He instilled a subconscious belief in me that I had the strength to handle the Agora. Then he woke me up. He then got his laptop back out. He opened it up and went to RPGClassics. “This is the hard part. You need to focus all your energy right now. I will help you concentrate.” He dimmed the lights, lit a few candles, and handed me the laptop.
First I steadied my breathing, and did some meditation to calm myself. I then summoned all my energy and clicked the link. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt myself almost go right away, but some part of me held on. I fought the initial nausia and slowly my vision cleared. I was holding back from blacking out the best I could. After 15 intense minutes of struggle, I had registered my user name.
“Good,” the shrink said. “That is a very good first step. Come back tomorrow and I’ll help you with your first post.” So I went home and slept for the rest of the day, exhausted from my ordeal.
The next day I went back and we repeated the process. It was easier this time. After a couple hours, I had made a few posts. The shrink looked at me proudly. “You’ve come a long way,” he said. “I think you’re ready to go at it alone. Come back and see me in a week.”
A week later and I was almost comfortable posting. I went back to visit the doctor. He told me, “I am impressed with your progress. But know this, you cannot be fully cured of this disease until you have made 1000 posts. And spamming doesn’t count! That will only get you banned and ruin all the hard work we have done. Now you will meet some people who you will like, and some you won’t. Some people will like you, and some won’t. You’ll just have to deal with that. Be strong and you’ll get through this dark time.”
With a newfound confidence, I continued to post. Some days I was stronger than others. A couple times I almost gave up, but a phone call to my shrink renewed my determination.
And now, here I am. 999 posts. 1 post away from being cured. I am so excited to finally have this monkey off my back. And I have all of you to thank for it. Thank you all for helping me cure this quasi-terminal disease. I don’t know what I would have done without you guys.
Sob. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…