What would you do?

In another forum that I post in, there’s a discussion going on about abusive behaviour and whether that behaviour is incentive and motive for reacting in a self desructive, and harmful manner. Meaning, if someone you know (or don’t know) abused you, sexually, physically, emotionall, whatever, then that gives you the right to seek “justice” and take matter into your own hands- for payback. Most of the people replying were saying that the police in their area “are useless and do nothing” and said that they would be willing to hurt the individual who hurt them, in such a scenario. This can mean anything that you can think of, attacking them, harassing them, pranking them, whatever. I figure that since it is kind of a thought provoking question, I’d ask it over here.

So, if you were abused, what would you do? Do you agree with revenge on the one that hurt you? Does that make it right? You can tell that I obviously disagree, and when I voiced this opinion, I got the “Well how can you say that, you’ve never been victimized”

So…? What do you think? if someone is a victim, does that make it right to…give them payback? I don’t. I don’t think victims need revenge, I think that they need help. They also do not become granted with a special civillian’s status that allows them to do such things in return for their pain.

Mind you, I’m not making a statement saying that THIS IS WHAT I WOULD DO, since yeah, I’m not in that situation, and if, maybe, someone killed a close loved one of mine (in cold blood) I would react in hatred and grief and do something harmful in return, but as I stand now, I don’t agree with victims being allowed to continue spreading pain, even towards an individual that caused the whole thing to begin with.

What do you think?

If you seek revenge on them, you’re just keeping the cycle going. Its like a circle, someone hurts you, you hurt someone else, they hurt someone…it just keeps going and going if we think in the “Eye for an Eye” mindset. But if one person breaks the cycle, then the abuse can stop.

I’ve always gone with the “Eye for an eye and the whole world is blind” philosophy. =\

Yes, I mentioned that exact quote and nobody listened to me. I just can’t understand what is so productive in continuing such…hurt.

The problem is the after-effects of the abuse: The victim will seek some kind of comfort, which in 99% of the cases is punishment for their aggressor. When faced with the quite common reality that their abuser can’t be “acceptably” punished (I.E. Suffer punishment by some entity society judges fit to deliver it), then the desire for “justice” turns into anger and the anger turns into rash behavior.

However, once the victim finished it’s “revenge” (Let’s take a worst case scenario situation: Guy rapes girl, girl goes trough the aforementioned process and kills guy), s/he rarely ever feels more than a fleeting satisfaction. It does not remove the harm caused to them, it only intensifies it since now s/he not only has to live with the experience of being hurt, but also the experience of hurting someone. Revenge sounds like an awesome idea until the moment it’s completed: Then the victim looses the focus of the anger and can suffer an enormous amount of different psychological disturbances.

In short: No, it’s not okay. It’s definitely not the right thing to do; but if I said that I’m 100% sure I wouldn’t do it if I were in that situation, I would be lying completely. Anger overrides common sense very easily.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left. It’s not right to go out and seek revenge, but I can’t say that’s not what I’d do. The person does not have the right to go out and seek justice, but that won’t stop them from trying.

If a person learns to seek vengeance when they are mistreated, they learn to handle all situations that way. It’s like when a kid has an abusive parent or something. They feel so helpless about the situation, and they have it so ingrained in their head usually, that they do the same thing to their children, even though they’re well aware of how awful it is.

I suppose vengeance is fine if it helps stop the abuse (or maybe head off potential and probably future abuse). If it’s not constructive, there’s no reason for it.

That is the motto of a sociopath. I agree with it to some extent. If you can get some satisfaction beating on the person who beat you, do it. But I agree with the others who say it doesn’t solve anything.

Death only offers so much pain at once, and then it’s done. In life, they will experience repeated misery, which is much more harsh…so really, doing nothing to the person would be revenge in and of itself. They get to grow old, watch their hair fall out, lose their looks if they had any to begin with, eventually lose control of their bowels so they have to wear depends, have a score of illnesses that they have to take medication for everyday, and then just wither away and die, with the single thought in their mind that they did something terrible in their lifetime and that the reaper is about to collect.

That is revenge.

Personaly, I prefer the Batman school of vengance to The Punisher school of vengance.

But seriously, the guy who crossed me would get his in the end, the athorities would take care of him/her eventualy.

Again, it depends at what age and what state of mind I would be to make the decision.

In my early youth, I would have mostly tried to get revenge by arranging a small gang to mob the guy.

In my early teens, I would have cried about it and wrote stupid goth poetry if not downright killing myself (having the incentive to do it, I’d have actually tried and perhaps succeeded).

In my late teens (right now), it would depend mostly on who that person was, whether they’re touchable by the law (no sense in attacking someone who can defend himself admirably), and whether I can garnish enough proof. If I can get enough proof to nail him, I’ll go the Guy Cloutier-affair way and blackmail the guy for at least a good sum of money. If I do have the proof but he IS touchable by the law rather easily, I’ll file something against him. If he isn’t touchable or if I don’t have enough proof…

…well, I’d rather not answer this.

Personally, I like to wait. I’m a squid, it’s what I do. Bide my time, line up the shot.

Drop hints. Sometimes the fear is enough.

There’s also a difference between one incident and then revenge and reacting against a steady torrent of abuse. Sometimes it’s about getting the monkey off your back.

Most of the people replying were saying that the police in their area “are useless and do nothing” and said that they would be willing to hurt the individual who hurt them, in such a scenario. This can mean anything that you can think of, attacking them, harassing them, pranking them, whatever. I figure that since it is kind of a thought provoking question, I’d ask it over here.
Like I told you a while back (and you got really mad at me x.X;;), what people say they’ll do is, more often than not, a hell of a lot different than what they’ll actually do, especially when it comes to revenge threats.

You can tell that I obviously disagree, and when I voiced this opinion, I got the “Well how can you say that, you’ve never been victimized”
This ties in perfectly with what I said above. They’ve probably never been victimized to the severity they’re describing either, so how can they be so confident in their ability to revenge? Do they honestly think it’s one of those situations where they simply can’t hold themselves back? Revenge requires more than just long-term resentment and denial. It requires the type of persistant fury that actually twists people into doing something against their better judgement.

When faced with a situation like this in REAL LIFE, I’d say every single one of the people who say they’d revenge, would curl up into a self-piteous ball and fucking WEEP. Why? Because nearly every single person on the planet is a pathetic, loudmouthed WEINER, and nearly everyone thinks they are the few who aren’t. They’re wrong, and so is anyone reading this unless your name is SK, so don’t get any ideas.

Revenge is possible in cases where someone kills a loved one. BUT, it wouldn’t be an instantaneous counter-kill reaction. It’d take weeks or years for your emotions to sufficiently twist your mind into voiding your sense of ethics, and even then, you wouldn’t settle for murder. You’d force him to live with deformities or be eaten alive by fire ants or something.

Why Hades, how close you are to the truth. Very close. In fact, almost exactly the right answer, because I have seen almost that exact thing happen. People who just curl up and think, what’s the fucking point in fighting back, they’ll just put you down more. And then they do something really stupid, like lashing out against the strongest person in the class. And then getting some smacked around a bit. This happens surprisingly often.
As for me, well nothing really’s happened to me since the start of the school year, but if they did, then I’d just kick em in the balls. And I have done it.
That’s where you’re wrong.

kick em in the balls y’all,

Two wrongs don’t make a right

This is what I really think,what is the use of seeking revenge on someone that victimize you,what happened be it a:murder,rape,robery,etc would still be there it happened and there’s nothing you can do to erase it,you can make the person pay for his crimes,by going to the proper authorities.Hurting someone else in our own way just is’t right it will not solve anything.

It’s a good thing your sarcasm has no bearing on the truth, otherwise I might actually be wrong:

People who just curl up and think, what’s the fucking point in fighting back, they’ll just put you down more.

This is what I really think,what is the use of seeking revenge on someone that victimize you,what happened be it a:murder,rape,robery,etc would still be there it happened and there’s nothing you can do to erase it,you can make the person pay for his crimes,by going to the proper authorities.Hurting someone else in our own way just is’t right it will not solve anything.
Very interesting.

I must be a prophet or something, because this is exactly what I predicted in my post: The majority will hopelessly try to convince themselves that they are the few through inadequate, unverifyable examples from the past. (“And I have done it.”)

Unfortunately, we’re not talking about twelve year old middle school bullies here. We’re talking about things like your sister being raped and killed in front of your eyes.

But by all means, kick the muderer-rapist in the balls. It’d be fitting retribution if you don’t die.

Okay, clearly you took it completely out of context, because I was talking about 16 year old boy things. If I saw someone raping my sister, I’d punch him in the throat, kick him in the balls, go insane and get killed. Something like that.
But, I wasn’t been sarcastic, because that is exactly what happens in my class.
And up to, well, I’m not sure when exactly, but I’d say around November, December time, I was one of those people who curled up in a ball. I know this, because I in fact did exactly that. Now…not so much.
So, in closing, if I saw a murderer-rapist person, I don’t know what I’d do. I’d say it’s an even chance between whether I’d run or stay. But I’d say it’s like that for most people anyway. But I was talking about school bullys, as opposed to murderer-rapists.

Unfortunately, we’re not talking about twelve year old middle school bullies here. We’re talking about things like your sister being raped and killed in front of your eyes.

In that case the guy would get the beating of his life,plus the kick in the balls,and finally the proper authorities,I think that is the most logical thing to do,any other thing you want to do to the guy because you want to see him suffer is worthless.

Hades, while I agree with your second initial comment, that arguement was awhile ago, and I did not say that I wouldn’t trust the police. I said if any child of mine was murdered, I’d probably take some blood just because I would be a grieving parent ready to snap. I never said that it was right, and yes, I may not really react that way, but telling others what they would and wouldn’t do in a situation is just wrong. Maybe some of us would freak out on someone if we saw a close one about to be hurt or raped, maybe some of us wouldn’t. But you can’t say we’re all weiners and shake your head to what we say, because we haven’t done that to you in this thread at all.

I believe that some of us would be pushed into such an emotional disturbance that “revenge” could take place. It’s not unusual in the slightest.