Alright, some general life stuff here. Long story somewhat shorter: I grew up in some hillbilly fundy town in the northwest US. As the years went by, I grew to hate the town, and the majority of its citizens, more and more. At this point, the only people there I ever talk to for more than 5 minutes are my mom, and the guy who runs the nerd store across the street from the mall.
Now in the summer of 2004, I moved down to be the roomie of a forum-goer in the southwest US. (Wow, I’m so VAGUE~~) After almost 2 months, I finally found a part-time job, but according to my calculations I wasn’t going to be making enough to pay my share of the rent. Also, I was jealous of all the people going to college, because I wanted to go to college too. So I had some kinda panic attack, and moved in with my boyfriend’s mom. She was all nice and offered to let me stay rent-free, given that I went to school and looked for work.
And I did those. I went to school, got all A’s and B’s in the two semesters I attended. But the job hunt didn’t go so well. It was part lack of knowledge of the area, part lack of driving ability/funds for transportation/people willing to drive me around, part lack of motivation, and of course, lack of any and all hirability. If that’s even a word. I am not a skilled worker, nor am I an experienced one. And for some reason, employers hate that. Or maybe there’s something else about me that interviewers hate, I don’t know.
Anyway, summer came around again, and I was still jobless. Skipping past the stupid middle-school grade drama-rama, I got kicked out of the house because I dared to stand up for myself and others I cared about against extreme psychological abuse that my hostess had been dishing out every day for months. Which was fine, really, I was wanting to get out anyway. Hence the searching desperately for a job, failing, and mentally breaking down every few days. 
The problem was that which I mentioned twice in this paragraph already: I still had no job. No way of supporting myself. I knew no one else I could share a place with (the price of being a loner). And I did not have nearly enough time to search for all of those at once. My boyfriend wasn’t (and isn’t) ready to move in together, so I only had one option: Move back to hicksville.
So right now, I’m crashing on my dad’s couch. He doesn’t really have room to keep me here for too long, and I don’t like living here anyway. I’d move in with my mom, but she lives in a trailer park and has even less room than my dad. So until I decide what to do with myself, I guess I’m just going to get a cheap apartment and a job (if I can find one… one of the reasons I wanted to leave was that the job market practically nonexistant around here), and save up for whatever’s next.
The question is… what IS next? From what I can tell, my options are as follows:
The “Stay Put and Never Go Back” Options
1a.) Stay in this town, or at least this state, permanently. Transfer whatever credits I can so I can finish school here. Maintain relationship, and hope my boyfriend is willing to move up here when he’s finished with school (in the next year or two).
1b.) Just like 1a, only call off the relationship so as to not deal with the long-distance crap.
[i]Pros: No sales tax. Lower cost of living. Familiarity with the area. Access to family. Lack of smog! Also, the cat seems to like it better here.
Cons: Pitiful job market. Higher college tuition rates. Hillbillies and wannabe Christian rockers. In 1b, ending an otherwise good relationship. Having to drive fucking EVERYWHERE. [/i]
The “Wait a Bit and Go Back Later” Options
2a.) Stay here for now, attend classes. When enough money is acquired, move back south, either with some roommate I find on the internet, or depending on the timing and circumstances, with my boyfriend. Transfer credits taken here to finish school down there.
2b.) Same as 2a, only wait and finish school here.
[i]Pros: Being able to spend some time with my family, while being able to eventually go back to my boyfriend. Not having to stay in hicksville forever.
Cons: Sales tax. Ridiculously high cost of living. Having to hear about/deal with lies, abuse, and middle-school dramafests of a middle-aged woman, and the people who think this is okay. Having to drive all my possessions yet another 12-15 hours. Also, my cat hates my boyfriend because he pokes her fat. In 2b, this whole plan could be ruined if the relationship is strained by the long distance over the long period of time, as it would take at least 4 more years for me to finish college. [/i]
Now, in either situation, having no social life is a given. That’s just how I am. Also, I do intend to get a degree, in what I still don’t know. Maybe I’ll take another one of those career and lifestyles classes to figure it out. Because one clearly was not enough.
Also, suicide is not an option, because if it was, I would’ve done it YEARS ago. And no one would’ve been able to stop me in the multiple attempts since then. So no matter how many people say that’s the best option, no matter how wholeheartedly I agree, someone will say NO and I’ll be a wuss and obey them.
That’s all I can think of. If I remember something I might have forgotten, I’ll edit it in.