What should I do? (Please read before voting)

Alright, some general life stuff here. Long story somewhat shorter: I grew up in some hillbilly fundy town in the northwest US. As the years went by, I grew to hate the town, and the majority of its citizens, more and more. At this point, the only people there I ever talk to for more than 5 minutes are my mom, and the guy who runs the nerd store across the street from the mall.

Now in the summer of 2004, I moved down to be the roomie of a forum-goer in the southwest US. (Wow, I’m so VAGUE~~) After almost 2 months, I finally found a part-time job, but according to my calculations I wasn’t going to be making enough to pay my share of the rent. Also, I was jealous of all the people going to college, because I wanted to go to college too. So I had some kinda panic attack, and moved in with my boyfriend’s mom. She was all nice and offered to let me stay rent-free, given that I went to school and looked for work.

And I did those. I went to school, got all A’s and B’s in the two semesters I attended. But the job hunt didn’t go so well. It was part lack of knowledge of the area, part lack of driving ability/funds for transportation/people willing to drive me around, part lack of motivation, and of course, lack of any and all hirability. If that’s even a word. I am not a skilled worker, nor am I an experienced one. And for some reason, employers hate that. Or maybe there’s something else about me that interviewers hate, I don’t know.

Anyway, summer came around again, and I was still jobless. Skipping past the stupid middle-school grade drama-rama, I got kicked out of the house because I dared to stand up for myself and others I cared about against extreme psychological abuse that my hostess had been dishing out every day for months. Which was fine, really, I was wanting to get out anyway. Hence the searching desperately for a job, failing, and mentally breaking down every few days. :smiley: The problem was that which I mentioned twice in this paragraph already: I still had no job. No way of supporting myself. I knew no one else I could share a place with (the price of being a loner). And I did not have nearly enough time to search for all of those at once. My boyfriend wasn’t (and isn’t) ready to move in together, so I only had one option: Move back to hicksville.

So right now, I’m crashing on my dad’s couch. He doesn’t really have room to keep me here for too long, and I don’t like living here anyway. I’d move in with my mom, but she lives in a trailer park and has even less room than my dad. So until I decide what to do with myself, I guess I’m just going to get a cheap apartment and a job (if I can find one… one of the reasons I wanted to leave was that the job market practically nonexistant around here), and save up for whatever’s next.

The question is… what IS next? From what I can tell, my options are as follows:

The “Stay Put and Never Go Back” Options
1a.) Stay in this town, or at least this state, permanently. Transfer whatever credits I can so I can finish school here. Maintain relationship, and hope my boyfriend is willing to move up here when he’s finished with school (in the next year or two).

1b.) Just like 1a, only call off the relationship so as to not deal with the long-distance crap.

[i]Pros: No sales tax. Lower cost of living. Familiarity with the area. Access to family. Lack of smog! Also, the cat seems to like it better here.

Cons: Pitiful job market. Higher college tuition rates. Hillbillies and wannabe Christian rockers. In 1b, ending an otherwise good relationship. Having to drive fucking EVERYWHERE. [/i]

The “Wait a Bit and Go Back Later” Options
2a.) Stay here for now, attend classes. When enough money is acquired, move back south, either with some roommate I find on the internet, or depending on the timing and circumstances, with my boyfriend. Transfer credits taken here to finish school down there.

2b.) Same as 2a, only wait and finish school here.

[i]Pros: Being able to spend some time with my family, while being able to eventually go back to my boyfriend. Not having to stay in hicksville forever.

Cons: Sales tax. Ridiculously high cost of living. Having to hear about/deal with lies, abuse, and middle-school dramafests of a middle-aged woman, and the people who think this is okay. Having to drive all my possessions yet another 12-15 hours. Also, my cat hates my boyfriend because he pokes her fat. In 2b, this whole plan could be ruined if the relationship is strained by the long distance over the long period of time, as it would take at least 4 more years for me to finish college. [/i]

Now, in either situation, having no social life is a given. That’s just how I am. Also, I do intend to get a degree, in what I still don’t know. Maybe I’ll take another one of those career and lifestyles classes to figure it out. Because one clearly was not enough.

Also, suicide is not an option, because if it was, I would’ve done it YEARS ago. And no one would’ve been able to stop me in the multiple attempts since then. So no matter how many people say that’s the best option, no matter how wholeheartedly I agree, someone will say NO and I’ll be a wuss and obey them.

That’s all I can think of. If I remember something I might have forgotten, I’ll edit it in.

I’d say either 2A or 2B, depending on who you think you could deal with the best. :x

(Saving up funds while staying with a parent and then moving the hell away from hicksville is what I’m plotting to do…I haven’t put it into action yet, so your guess is as good as mine. :D)

Horde cash and attend school in Hicksville seems to be your best option. Either 2a or 2b.

I’d go with 2b. While you might loathe the surrounding area, getting a degree should help you out on the job market, and making yourself more interesting to prospective employers would be a smart thing to do before moving into Expensive County. You could always go study THERE, but if something falls through with finances or you ending up not finishing college you’ll be in more shit than you’d be in your current adress.

You could also try and find a cheap place to live close to your family. You’d have more costs, but you’d not have to deal with as much drama while still being able to hang around your family and mooch dinner or something. That would require a job of sorts though, and from the sound of it, you’re not having much luck with that, so I really just recommend 2b.

“Having no social life” is your biggest problem there. I wouldn’t worry about 1A, or 2B, or option Z62 or whatever. If you make more friends there’s more opportunities that they can get you connections, job references, refer your attention to low-rent places that they see, advice, all kinds of things that you’re stressing over right now. No matter what you decide to do, I’d work on the ol’ social skillz since you are, after all, still living in society.

How old are you? Do you have a high school diploma?

If you’re 18 and you graduated, you could try an unemployment agency. It’s their purpose to find you a job.

Next, it’s impossible to live in some places without a car. Living in the city, you don’t need a car. Living in hicksville, you’d probably need a car, so get crackin on that license (I thought you mentioned that you don’t have one). Then, while you may not still have a car, you still have the ability to drive any car you see, so you can borrow your boyfriends, moms, dads or your boyfriends moms car to get to work or something. If for some reason this is impossible, I would suggest you move somewhere that has public transportation and learn it well.

My advice is to concentrate on finding a place to stay first, then work on the little things like getting connections through friends and getting a drivers license. Things become much easier when you have your own transportation.

Hi cloth hat.

Yeah, I was meaning to make an update on this thread a while ago, but I’ve been kind of busy what with the whole “trying to put my life back together” bit.

So I started babysitting for this dude who’s friends with my stepdad a couple weeks ago. The kids are great, and the money is ridiculous ($125 per week for 2 hours a day, 5 days a week = $12.50/hour for sitting around watching cartoons with a 5-year-old, while his 11-year-old brother plays Runescape or watches TV in another room).

Meanwhile, I’ve gotten a couple interviews for stores in the mall. While I was waiting for the manager to finish some work before interviewing today, one of my former friends from high school came into the store, was all “whoa I haven’t seen you in a million bajillion years” and gave me a tip for some kind of easy-sounding computer-related job at the place he works. So I’ll most likely be checking that out on Monday (I find that Mondays are the best days to get shit done, I don’t know what it is). Also, while following the manager to the interview location (apparently the back rooms in the bookstore were so messy that the noisy-ass food court was a more suitable choice), I saw two more high school peeps, but didn’t really get to talk to them, because well interview was more important. I kinda wished at first that I could have, maybe one of them would’ve been willing to room with me. But then I looked at one of their LiveJournals when I got home, and got the same nauseating feeling that I get when looking at the MySpace profiles of former classmates.

But, according to my calculations, with the relatively low rent rates around here, with just one roommate to share the costs I could probably get away with having a part-time job at minimum wage and have some money to spare each month. With a full-time job I could get a place completely by myself and still have plenty extra.

My mom keeps saying that she’s going to make me study for my permit test, and teach me how to drive. So far, nothing’s happened with that. But I got a bus map/schedule, and I think, depending on where I end up living around here, that public transportation should be fine. It’s VERY cheap compared to other cities I’ve been in, and supposedly students at the local community college get a free pass anyway.

Speaking of which, I think I’m going to wait a term while I’m trying to get some money, and not mess around with school until winter. I’d really much rather just tackle one goal at a time. Before, trying to deal with everything at once stressed the fuck out of me (literally and not); the efforts I put out for one thing took away precious time and energy I needed to focus on something else, and simply, I didn’t have the resources–monetary, physical, and mental–to take on so many projects at once. So this time, I’m going to just focus on getting a job and working, and then looking for an apartment once I’ve saved money for a few months. Getting started again at school is really my last priority at the moment. Survival first, ya know.

I’ve pretty much decided I have no interest in returning to the area where I spent the last year. So all your votes went to nothing, sorry guys. <I’m also totally single, but not looking so don’t ask.>

2b is what I went with. But I hope you do anything thta feels right to you at the moment.