Recently, there has been a decrease of “chatter” among the various Uriel networks. Both the SIA and MBI have documented this. In addition, no new videos, recordings, or even sightings of Uriel have popped up. Given this new amount of information, we here at the Department of Website Security are downgrading the Uriel Alert status from its previous level of Tutti Fruity Alert, a Severe Risk of Uriel Attacks, to Yellow Dog Democrat Alert, a High Risk of Uriel Attacks.
This lowering, however, does not mean that one can no longer be on one’s guard. The forces of evil are still out there, and they still hate our democracy. Until we can reach the hearts and minds, or just plain kill 'em, of Uriels everywhere, our site will never be truly safe. However, we will remain on our guard, ever vigilant. We shall ensure the forces of light colors defeat the forces of dark colors, by any means necessary. But our site shall persevere. For any questions, please consult your handy dandy Website Security graph.
OMG OMG OMG!!! What are we going to do if Uriel Shows up? How can I keep myself and my threads safe? If I spend a lot of money will that help fight the Uriel network of hate and terror?