Weatherman Quits, says Japanese Mobsters Causing Hurricanes

Wow, just…wow.

… WTF, mate. This is, like, “Dr. Strangelove” weird in terms of theories.

No, there’s still the Holocaust deniers, hollow earth people, Raelians and Scientology for our Reccomended Daily Allowance of complete batshitloconutballflavin.

It isn’t butterflies?

I still think it’s Nulani.

I remember hearing about this on the radio. Meteorologists are crazy people, which is why most of the good weatherpeople aren’t meteorologists, like Al.

Damn Yakuza, hurricanin’ left and right. Hangin’ out at shrines. Robbin’ gaijin. Havin’ those DAMN ugly haircuts.

Yeah, they think it makes 'em look badass. It merely makes them look bad. And like ass.

You know at first I thought the title was japenese monsters causing hurricanes. at least that would have been a better reason to quit.

Nah, that would’ve been a better reason to get fired. Out of a cannon.



when i read this thing at first i couldn’t believe what i was seeing. what the hell could make him think that?

More to the point, could the fact that these weather effects are originating in japan suggest the appearance of a <i>new</i> kaiju? I’m unaware of any that cause cyclones. Rodan is fast, but I don’t think he’s created a typhoon before. Godzilla only lives in the water. Hell, even King Ghidora can’t make a storm, though he’ll shoot lightning till he’s blue in the tails.

Maybe we should ask the lads down at <i>Kaiju Big Battel</i>
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Kaiju Big Battle, Sampei speaking. A new Kaiju, you say? Good God, Commander! With enough power to cause a tornado? Over the ocean? Why, Commander, that would cause a hurricane! You mean those storms are the result of some new Kaiju? If that’s true, the whole planet is in danger! This couldn’t be a reaction from Godzilla to the effects of the Oxygen Destroyer? Because if not, that big brute may be the only chance we have. . .

I know! And all those Christans, Muslims and Jews! Who could possibly believe in something so stupid!

This just goes to show you that those Russians were really light years ahead and the only reason they collapsed was because of the great American work ethic!


Why don’t we just all admit the Illuminati did this, under the stern and vengeful gaze of the alluring and undying Adam Weishaupt. Who looks dead on like George Washington. BECAUSE HE IS.

I’m guessing it’s Lavos. See, he sort of missed coming out six years ago, so now he’s trying to make up for it by just screwing with the weather. And he would’ve got away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for those meddlesome KIDS and that stupid FROG!

i think you read wrong…it says Japanese mobsters. well either that or you’ve gone off on some vaguely relevant tangent.

if you’d have read, you would have noticed that his theory is that the mobsters are using old russian technology

I read that too. >>

Thank you Steve, you saved me from having to, yet again, show how bullet lacks the little grey cells. =) The world is a safer place with you!