Vengeance, and bodies, The Sephir update.

Chapter 15
Bodies

“Angels? I fear nothing.” Azrael smirked quietly.
“You will learn to fear me.” Ghost dropped Kai and openly laughed.
“You fool! I am invincible; any attack made at me will go straight through! You cannot win!” Azrael yawned.
“I’m sorry did you say something?” The clone lunged at Azrael in a fit of rage.
“Insolent fool!” The Angel simply sidestepped. Ghost got to his feet.
“Impossible! You will die!” Ghost unsheathed his Katana and brought it down in an arc that would have been fatal; had Azrael’s arm not been there first.
“You are nothing Ghost. You never will be!” Azrael launched a punch into Ghost’s Solar Plexus that shot him several feet away from the Angel. Ghost scrambled away from the approaching Angel.
“That’s not possible! You’re not human.” Azrael stood there, towering over Ghost.
“I know.” His foot shot out with enough force to crush steel. Matthew flinched; he hardly heard the squelch. Azrael wiped his foot clean and walked up to Kai, pulling him off the ground.
“Thanks man, I thought I was dead.” Matthew was not however so grateful. He walked up to Azrael and punched him in the nose hard. Azrael gasped.
“Well I deserved that. That was free though, do it again and I’ll break that fist of yours.” Matthew nodded. But he still remained silent. “You bury Simon?” Matthew’s head shot round.
“Bastard! How dare you speak of Simon? Yes he was buried!” Azrael shrugged.
“Let’s go. I have a plan.” Azrael began to walk away, however Matthew blocked his path.
“Where? These Sephir outclass us! There is nowhere that is safe!”
“We are going to Simons grave. And we are NOT outclassed. I’m here am I not?”
They walked for a while until they reached a small clearing about a mile from the forest, in the centre of the field there was a single white cross.
“There, now what?” Azrael walked up to the grave and kneeled.
“Nunien, valarafor, gunlayeinen, fukai neartei har!” The strange mystical words echoed through the field and chilled the hearts of all those who watched. But something strange was occurring, green light started to bombard the grave and suddenly a hand shot out of the dirt. Another hand appeared. And suddenly a disfigured head appeared.
“Brains! Brains! Maaaaa! Give me your brains!” Everyone shrieked, until the head again spoke. “I’m just pissin’ with ya!” Simon was back, minus the stupid faces.

Chapter 16
Vengeance
Azrael stood up and pulled Simon out of his grave.
“It’s good to see ya, Simon, I’m sorry.” Simon wasn’t even angry.
“I know why you did it, it’s ok.” Matthew spoke.
“Simon, what’s death like?” The twin shrugged.
“Dunno really, green.”
“Green?” Simon thought hard.
“That’s all I remember, just green, a lot of green,” Azrael walked ahead.
“Guys, we have a mission: revenge.” He shot a look round the group. “During my time away from the group I thought a lot, these Sephir, they were made to kill you Cloud. I had a lot of time to think. I realised something, why did they look like Sephiroth? Shin-ra. Why’d they come after us? Shin-ra. Why? Revenge. Because of you Cloud Rufus lost everything. My sources tell me that he survived Diamond Weapon’s attack. So he awakened the Sephir. Now I see we go after him and kill him.” Cloud looked up at the Angel.
“Yes, this is it. My last mission against the Shin-ra. Where is he hiding though?”
“Midgar. After the attack then the battle between Meteor and Holy, Midgar was in ruins, why would he return there? Simple. Who would return there? No one. Safest place on Earth.” Simon pulled his Battle-Blade from the coffin.
“I’m with Az, lets tool up and go shopping, kick ass style.” Cloud stood.
“Me too.”
“Count me in.” Kai said excitedly. They all looked to Matthew.
“You know what? Fuck the Shin-ra, let’s go kick some ass!”


Calita the assassin had a job. She was being paid ten million gil to take down some guy. She laughed, one small little man and ten million was hers, how simple this was.
“I’m coming for you Azrael and you won’t ever see me coming.”

Please what d’yall think?

Well, looking alright, though there are things that could be polished. Like this for example:

“You will learn to fear me.” Ghost dropped Kai and openly laughed.
“You fool! I am invincible; any attack made at me will go straight through! You cannot win!” Azrael yawned.
“I’m sorry did you say something?” The clone lunged at Azrael in a fit of rage.
“Insolent fool!” The Angel simply sidestepped. Ghost got to his feet.

This part get’s kinda confusing on who says what (it’s pretty clear, but the format makes it a little confusing). Try to sort things out with making linebreaks at other places and add a little more info, like this:

“You will learn to fear me.” Ghost dropped Kai and openly laughed, “you fool! I am invincible; any attack made at me will go straight through! You cannot win!”
Azrael yawned.
“I’m sorry did you say something?” he smirked.
The clone lunged at the warrior in a fit of rage.
“Insolent fool!” the Sephiroth clone roared.
The Angel simply sidestepped. Ghost got to his feet.

Also, what have you thought about the Rachel thing that we talked about before? For real, Sephy, it was really overdone.
Apart from that, you really must consider the Marty Stue (male Mary Sue) style you’re using. Ghost is a weak Sephiroth clone, but look at J-type and Blood Wind, they’re three/six times stronger than the villain who could kill an entire village, summon meteors and whom it took six fabulous warriors using all their power and knowledge to beat during a long and almost impossible battle. It <I>doesn’t matter</I> that Azrael might be the only one who dies in the end, you’re making your own character so strong it’s simply ridiculous.
I’m sorry I’m being harsh, I really am. You can blame me for being a bitch on PMS or the fact that I’ve been working in a hot infoboot all day plus the fact that I have a big fanfic update to finish and school is looming ahead and I can’t find the books I need for the courses. Or all of them.
But it’s the truth. You COULD however make this work just fine in an original story, but not in the FF7 world, it just doesn’t make sense.

You know why Blood Wind died, because Az went True, but whoever said I was finished with J-type? Oh and BTW at some point i’ll opst a comic my best friend Simon drew of The Sephir.

Mmmkay then, just be careful :slight_smile:

Did you really think someone with THAT much Jenova could die easily? Also i’ll gve a slight hint, whoever said The Sephir had to be bad guys. Oh and BTW Gogo’s secret was good. Not as good as your later works, but it beats the shit out of mine.