Umm..I went to Wally World.

My objective: 2 white T-shirts, one thing of socks, anything else of interest(yea right).

The first thing I noticed is that instead of the normal dull blue it, was now a sandy, dirt colour. The second thing I noticed was that they are now hiring…the mentally challenged. Why? Because they can push carts, or in this one’s case, stumble around the parking lot greeting people and holding up traffic.

Once I got inside I was greeted by a man of at least 7ft. who had no hair (not even eyebrows). To the right I saw a family consisting of 1 over weight mother, 5 children, 3 of which were crying (the oldest was probably 8, youngest was a baby), and a scooter piloted by the mother.

I got past the check out area and was now passing produce on the right, and some other jungle of racks and counters that I never go to on the left. Before this time, it had never really occurred to me just how large Wal-Mart actually is. It also occurred to me that I had no idea how to get to the shirts department. Or was it the men’s department? Okay, no big deal, I’ll just ask an employee. I couldn’t find any. I knew they wore blue vests and had walkie-talkies, but that was all I knew. I was also becoming increasingly aware of the lack of any normal people, they were all either butch women, fat women, lost children, or mentally handicapped. I decided that if I walk in a straight line through the middle I might find the shirts.

After about 10 minutes of walking, I found the men’s department. This meant I would be near the fitting rooms, fitting rooms are notorious for having at least 3 employees on guard at all times. So eventually I find them, and there were the guards. To my surprise, they had no idea where I could find the shirts, or even the socks. Okay, fine, how hard can it be to find this stuff, I am already in the clothes area (it wasn’t exactly separate from the women’s dept.)? The answer: really fucking hard. After what must have been 20 minutes of wondering around through various shelves of clothing, I began to wonder if they separated men’s and children’s clothes. Each aisle had a random selection of spongebobware, and normal clothing of all sizes. Was I walking in circles? Each time I passed the fitting rooms everything seemed shittier, like the area had been ravaged by earth quakes in each of my absences. I decided to follow a piece of advice I once heard: ‘If you can’t find what you are looking for, try changing your perspective.’.
I needed socks, so why not go somewhere foot related, I made my way back to the guards to find out where the hell it was, and was soon on my way to the shoe department.

Success! Who would’ve guessed, socks in the shoe department. I guess it made sense when I considered how many shoe stores also sell socks. I gave up on the shirt and was on my way to the check out counter when I saw something I would not soon forget. I was going through the grocery section because the refrigerators make it cooler, and I was beginning to sweat as much as one of the millions of obese, disease ridden hogs that made this putrid hell hole their home.
There was a small family consisting of a mother and her two children. Who were crying, and screaming, and running, and screaming, and crying, and you get the idea. The boy decided they needed a carton of Florida Orange juice, the juice was placed on a shelf above on of those things that normally have produce in them, hold on let me find a pic…

Basically this but with juice and other drinks. As he climbed onto the bottom shelf, I felt the urge to stop him. Why should I, this will turn out in my favor. He grasped the lower end of the carton and started pulling it off the shelf, too bad it was too heavy. The juice container went right over his head and on to the floor where it spilled its contents EVERYWHERE. Well not everywhere but it got pretty far. The kid was just sitting there in the refrigerated bin crying. Where was mom in all this? the next aisle over telling the girl she isn’t going to buy 2 bags of berry colossal crunch. I laughed, and slipped in the orange juice.

I know it was polled but I feel like spreading my stupidity around the agora.

In before ‘reading this feels like walmart’.

cool story bro

Try working there :stuck_out_tongue:

The WalMart you described is atypical from what I’ve experienced. All the WalMart’s I’ve been in have been, while huge, at least decently well lain out. Also, I’ve only seen the freako people you’ve described if I’m there between 9 pm and 9 am.

That being said, it makes a funny expedition for you to tell of.

Every time people say Wally World I think it’s some sort of amusement park I have never heard of.

Yeah, that pretty much so sums up every experience I’ve had going to the Wall of Mart.

It’s backwards here…only the relatively normal people come out at night. The rest of the time, it’s the people who shouldn’t be breeding.

National Lampoon’s Vacation.

And also it exists in real life… :expressionless:

Really? Where? Admittedly most of my knowledge of theme parks is based on the East Coast, but I would have thought I’d heard of it before now.

I think it was a really small water park chain that used to be popular a while ago, I dont’ know if it still exists. It wasn’t renowned, but it did exist.

No wonder only I know about it.

In that case, I stand by my initial reference.

You can find a whole collection of such people here:
People of Wal Mart

Oddly enough (I guess?), I found that on CNN.com the other night. Aside from a crappy story about it, I didn’t see the point in it being on CNN. Then again, CNN doesn’t always know what a news story is…

Still, provides lot of laughs and the occasional “WTF IS THAT?!” picture.

When I still had long hair, some kid ran around from behind me. When he got around to the front of the register and with his mom he looked at me and went “!! I didn’t know a girl could be a man! :O”

Little bastard.

I have a much brighter Walmart where I live. I was actually impressed. I think I only saw one of the such families described above and the kid that was crying was not that old. The store’s departments are clearly labelled.

I’m only defending Walmart because I just had an absolutely horrible experience with Best Buy. I bought a computer there about a year ago and about eight months later, it started BSODing on me. I did some research are diagnosed the problem as bad RAM.

I take it into the Geek Squad and they say that they will take care of it but they have to send it out and it could take three weeks. Three weeks to replace a stick of RAM? I really didn’t need the computer right away, so I figured, “What the hell…it’s still covered under manufacturer’s warranty anyway.” I get it back three weeks later and the turns out that they replaced the HARD DRIVE. I take it home and as soon as I turn it on I get another BSOD.

I take it right back and blast them and they take it back again. I don’t get it back for OVER A MONTH. I immediately see that the front cover is missing. I then turn on the computer and it seems to be working. I then go to the properties to make sure the RAM is recognized and I find out that I’m missing 1 GB OF RAM.

I’m basically ready to kill the nearest Geek Squad agent I see. I went in and asked for the manager who conveniently wasn’t in the store. They managed to get a hold of him on his cell phone who basically told them to give me a new computer. So, I go find one that a little better than the the one I had and was ready to check out when they tell me that they are giving me a gift card for the price I paid so I can buy it online. I basically shout “WTF” throughout the entire store and the customer rep explained that they had to do that because the computer I picked out was not available in any store in the region. I demanded my money back and got out of that store as fast as I could.

I found a HP computer that was a lot better than mine at the same price as my old one. I should have it tomorrow or Thursday at the latest. Right now Walmart is my saving grace. I used to share many of the opinions about Wally’s World that you guys have but not anymore.