Trail of Tears

An interesting situation I’ve found myself in. I betrayed someone who came to be one of the best friends I’ve ever found myself having long before we were as good of friends as we are now, long before I could possibly forsee the consequences of my actions. Now I find myself at deaths front porch, with the door standing in my way being two people, one who may never forgive me for the things I’ve done, and one who may never trust me again, and I fear may follow the footsteps of the other. The only thought in my mind is apologetic, and the only place my feet are taking me is bahaar to smoke my problems away, and to the grave of a man that left my life a smoldering ruin. In this trail of tears I have made for myself, I hope to find solace in the possibility of forgiveness, but linger in the knowledge that it may never, ever come. So here I am, ringing the doorbell - will he answer?

I walked the desolate path with a heavy heart. I could find no place that had remained untouched by our companionship, no place that we hadn’t found ourselves toying around with our petty existence, no place where we laughed with no bounds and cried with no tears. No place that didn’t still have that misty marijuana taint where we smoked ourselves into oblivion, and loved each other for it. Nothing in my sight could remove the painful memory that perhaps she may never, ever see me in the same light again, no place that I could find solace in my mistake, and no place for me to run and conceal myself in the darkness that I walked in. Overbearing street lights, the sound of enigmatic hooves shrilled by V6 sports cars and F250s distills my pain, and makes my suffering feel as though these machines weigh on my shoulders.

In the dim lamp light of my computer room I wonder, as I slowly word my feelings onto my screen, blinks with a message from her, offering only a cease to the senseful hate that she bears. No longer can she or I bare the unimaginable burdon of despair between us, but her forgiveness lingers in the distance, and as I once again start on my trail of tears towards the solace that I can only find in her heart, I question whether or not I have any right to be in her life as a friend again, or if I am fit to live the life I once saw fit, and live the life that I now see crumbling before my very eyes. Technically loosing one incredible friend has devastated me in a matter of hours, my soul has fallen on its weakened knees, and the loss of another tears at my heart like a tumor on the rampage. The fight has died, but my pain will live forever.

That. Is cool. I don’t really know what else to say. Wow.

Unless I’m wrong and that wasn’t a story, in which case I still don’t know what to say, except that in some way I’m distantly unsettled.

Very beautiful, Sorc, fantastically descriptive and emotional. It felt as if it was much longer than it really was - not in a bad sense of course, there simply was so much in there that it felt more like three pages than just three paragraphs.

That was heeps good you made me almost cry lol its really quit interesting how you put all that into just 3 paragraphs like Weiila said it seemed alot longer top work you got any more like that?

Nah, thats probably the most emotional thing I’ve ever written. Lifes been pretty shitty on the real side, and when life is shitty, sorc writes real pretty.

We’d rather you wrote shitty and had a good time though. Hope life gets better for ya soon.

So the ancient rumour about suffering artists are the best proves true again. Is that good or bad? :stuck_out_tongue: I hope that thing will be better for you soon, Sorc.

Unfortunatly, they haven’t, but they have instead gotten only worse. I’m thinking of putting up a thread for my own angst filled shit.

In fact, I’ll post something now. I got bored during one of my classes and freestyled an entire song about whats been going on in the real life of sorc. I think it’s good, but whatever.


As I walk through the dark night
Watching the driving lights
It gives me a fright
not because im standing in the road
but because I’d rather die than return to my crumbled abode
I hate that I’ve been driven to the edge like this
How could I predict my actions would have an impact like this?

You’re bowling with my balls
You won’t pick up my calls
No matter how I stand tall
I always seem to fall

into the rabbit hole I plummit
I can’t seem to grasp a root or branch
All I need is another chance, but I know I’ve done it
The mistake I’ve made is mine alone
The friendship I’ve blown weighs heavy on my shoulders
my feelings overrun this cup holder of a folder
It’s all gushing out through this pen and
even when its over I know that it’s only just starting to begin

you’re bowling with my balls
You won’t pick up my calls
No matter how I stand tall
I always seem to fall

into my grave
I wish I was dead and that you were holding the stave
Just know that during our stay you were one of my favs
One of the best friends I ever had and
I’m glad to know that this is the one time that I made you mad
but now as time draws still and the curtains begin to close
I consider now taking over the maximum dose
I’ve lost you completly, and thats all you had to say
Just know that you may never keep me at bay as I go on day by day
Wishing you were here
But I live in fear because I know that

you’re bowling with my balls
and you won’t pick up my calls
No matter how I stand tall
I always seem to fall

I like it its heeps go and i do hope life gets better for you!:hahaha;

I’m sorry to hear that things still aren’t better, Sorc, but sooner or later it has to get better. And we’re here for you at least, ready to enjoy your creations.

Very good song, I could almost hear the music too. How about talking to SG about that, maybe he could make a tune to it as well?

I’m sure perc is gonna yell at me for not writing this in prose, but I like how it looks. Bug off perc ;p

In the darkest night I pray
That you will choose to stay
And as I watch the sun set into the bay
I think of better days when we used to play

On a night of doomsday queries
As we talked, soft and clearly
Of your heart the darkest depths you spoke
A secret upon me you let go
Through my ears it trickled down
Into my heart it settled down
With my life this secret I’ll take
How dire a promise that was to make
Our friendship now is burned at the stake

What I feel and what I’ve known
Away in the air it is blown
you’ve successfully crippled me
When I was down on one knee
You hit me in the jaw
And that was the last straw
No longer will I crawl back
Just for you to spit on
Nah it’s gone, all of it
I don’t care anymore, I hate you

Very powerful, I especially like the ending, the way you suddenly cuts it off with a one word liner like that. It’s very effectful.

your really good top marks do you have any more?

Good stuff, Sorc, good stuff! Very emotional, indeed! I like it! Deep stuff has it’s tendency to be very well written…got anymore stuff? :hyperven:

I dub this the thread for all things sorcerer.

I sit back and toke through this bowl
The marijuana smoke as a whole
It’s cold in this room alone
The smoke fills the room til it’s about to burst
My mouth writhes with an insatiable thirst
If I open that door the room’ll be gone
So I sit here in the dark until it’s sparked by the dawn

All I wanna do is just fly away
Straight into another day
Maybe another time
Hopefully we’d have found a way to make everything okay
As it stands that looks like an impossibility
The madness isn’t ending, and my search for tranquility is coming up empty
The insanity all around knows no bounds
Eerie in every way, it seeps in and removes all sounds
Leaving you in a dark hole with nothing but you
Alone once again, in a place known only to a few
The heat is thick like a stew, but it’s sticky like glue
Stuck to this place of abnormal despair
I await my death with a complete lack of flair
No guns blazing, no razing fires
Darkness and pain, caring without a care

Very powerful indeed…

Hope life gets better for you.

Again, very good. Especially the way you work some sentences, such as “caring without a care” strengthens the power in the entire piece.