The worst fantasy story ever written

I can only think of the now red blotch on the earth, blotching things up…

I think I will cry now that I am done laughing. Then I’ll laugh again for another fifteen or so minutes. Hopefully with less falling out of chair.

You mean blood? :smiley:

Of course he doesn’t…he means, “quickly escaping life fluid”.

I thank ya’ll for this. I have new love for my writing after this.

My Eyes!!! :biggrin:

It’s not the worst fantasy story ever written, just the worst ever published.

I have a friend whose first attempt at a backstory for a 14th-level D&D campaign amounted to a full-bore assault on both the English language and the franchise universe of Faerun simultaneously. Quotation marks eluded him, and he made completely unfounded assumptions about how dragons behaved and congregated in the campaign setting he was working in. He’s improved much since then, but that first story makes Jim Theis look like Robert E.-fucking-Howard, whom, by the way, he is obviously imitating.

More biting criticism as events warrant.

Post it! Post it!

We burned the verision he transcribed to Notepad, but I have a .wpd version still on my desktop. Unfortunately, the only thing capable of reading that file is on my Linux partition. I’ll log into it and post later.

[EDIT]I think I’m going to print TEoA out and give it to him to read tomorrow. Because I crave suffering.[/EDIT]

Grignr. Heh. Looks like someone slammed their elbow on the keyboard, and felt lucky.