The worst fantasy story ever written

http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/SF-Archives/Misc/eyeargon.html

LMFAO- I had to share this when I found it. Oh God… :slight_smile:

“From where do you come barbarian, and by what are you called?” Gasped the complying wench, as Grignr smothered her lips with the blazing touch of his flaming mouth.

The staggering soldier clumsily reached towards the pommel of his dangling sword, but before his hands ever touched the oaken hilt a silvered flash was slicing the heavy air. The thews of the savages lashing right arm bulged from the glistening bronzed hide as his blade bit deeply into the soldiers neck, loping off the confused head of his senseless tormentor.

I want to meet the author and be his friend

If I know were this person lived I would go over there every day to read it to them and then laugh in their face.

The man who wrote it died in 2001.

Thanks for ruining my day asshole

Anytime cockbite.

There will be no biting of cocks in this thread!

The will to necessitate his life forced him to yield to the superior force in hopes of a moment of carlessness later upon the part of his captors in which he could effect a more plausible means of escape.
These are words of wisdom.

Edit: Actually, on closer look, it resembles something out of Ayn Rand.

He fucking wrote a story and then put it through an automatic thesaurus script.

My sister found an MST’d version of it. :smiley:

Now I like that version

‘“The Eye of Argon” was published in 1970 in OSFAN…’

Yup, I remember having heard of it back in my early (via Snail Mail) fandom days ('80’s.)

And btw, I think this was posted in the Media Board not that long ago…

I remember Julia showing me this. I couldn’t even finish it. And considering the stomach for bad stories I have, that’s saying something.

I have no idea if this story compares to Eye of Argon, but the fact that the publisher accepted it is just too funny.

Haw! It’s funny because it’s true.

…Grignr?

Yeah. That reminds me… I tried to read something by Ayn Rand because a lot of people said that I could read it. I tried reading “Fountainhead,” which was a load of poorly written incomprehensible bullshit. I should have listened to you (as well as a lot of other people). Ah, well.

Why do they keep calling the guy a slut?

Don’t jump to conclusions! … wait, wrong running gag.