The Final Saga

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:27pm

The Final Saga part 105: The Death and Life of Lone Wolf
By d_Galloway

M.S. 5701, IN THE LAND OF SOMMERLUND, IN THE UNIVERSE OF AON…

The Kai Monastery was filled with activity, the likes of which had never been seen before except in a time of war. The young acolytes and their Kai Masters quickly attended to their remaining lessons and tasks, while the Grand Masters busied themselves with their more private meditations and studies. It was as if Kai himself had poured his strength into the men, forcing them along at breakneck speeds for some otherwise unknown reason.

Deep within his private chambers, Kai Supreme Master Lone Wolf was both aware and unaware of the commotion. He sat at a desk situated between the seven Lorestones of Nyxatar, which were arranged perfectly around the small workspace. On the desk sat a new tome, a work Lone Wolf had spent nearly the last fourty years completing; a documentation and testament of the powers of the Supreme Master. As the first Kai Lord to ever reach this position of power, it was his duty to record his studies and experiences so future generations of the Kai could learn from his lifetime.

His already-evolved senses were increased exponentially by the power of the Lorestones; he could feel the small group approach even before they had entered the deep forests surrounding the monastery. A wry smile crept across his face as he put aside his quill, threw on his fine robes, and climbed from his private dungeon. He quickly called together the Grand Masters; there was much to discuss…

Meanwhile, deep within the Dazrian, outside of an ancient tomb, the sky became darker than the blackest night, an aura of pure evil emerging from every molecule in the air. An unnatural stillness crept over the land as several black tentacles struck into the earth, which began to crack and splinter under an enormous force. A field of pure infernal energy swept over the crushed remains of earth, bringing together faint pieces of essence and matter. Within a few minutes, these bits and pieces were completely reassembled into the Chaos-master, long since slain by Lone Wolf.

The monstrosity looked about in confusion, wondering where the mere mortal he had challenged had vanished. His thoughts shifted, however, with the commanding voice of another being he knew too well. “Chaos-master! I am Naar, God of Evil! You are here to do my bidding!”

“What do you want?” growled the Chaos-master.

“The mortal who slew you still lives,” said Naar. “I will arrange a trap for him here. Destroy him, crush him, break him, but do not kill him. Remember, I want him to suffer.”

BACK IN THE PRESENT

Chaos-master slammed down a misshapen claw, which both heroes barely managed to dodge. Wil threw the first spell he could think of, but it didn’t even scratch the pig-like monstrosity’s massive figure. Lone Wolf raised Skarn-skae in preperation, dodging another swipe and driving the blade into Chaos-master’s hand. The creature roared in pain and confusion, but at the same time pulled his hand back, allowing Lone Wolf to leap onto his shoulder, pull out the blade, and drive it into the beast’s neck. However, this had no major effect, and Chaos-master grabbed Lone Wolf and threw him to the ground, the blade still lodged into his neck.

“Out of tricks, mortal?” shouted Chaos-master. “You will pay for my ruin!”

BACK IN THE PAST…

The party finally arrived, bringing the excitement of the monastery to a head. A carriage pulled into the courtyard, surrounded by fine Sommlending cavalry officers. The driver quickly jumped down and opened the carriage door, allowing a pair of elderly men to exit. Lone Wolf smiled at their arrival, slapping both on the back in enjoyment. Behind them exited the surprise visitor: King Ulnar, loloking even older than the two gentlemen that had exited before him. The entire congregation bowed in reverance to their lord.

“Lone Wolf,” said Ulnar. “I have come here to discuss some important business. Banedon and Lord Rimoah may accompany us, if you so wish.”

“I thank you, your majesty,” said Lone Wolf.

Lone Wolf led all four into his private chambers, seating each at a large table. Banedon, Guildmaster of the Brotherhood of the Crystal Star and well into his sixties, unfurled a map of the Dazrian, pointing to a small dimension in a corner. “Rimoah and I have learned of a dangerous situation. Chaos-master has returned, Lone Wolf, and he desires revenge. He is preparing to strike Magnamund.”

“How large is his army?” asked Lone Wolf.

Rimoah was the next to speak, a dignified lord from Dessi who was certainly in his hundreds. “It is enormous, outnumbering the population of Magnamund by several times. Even the Kai Lords have no chance against such numbers.”

Lone Wolf banged his fist on the table. “Then we have one option. The Chaos-master must be destroyed once and for all!”

“That leaves us with another problem,” said Ulnar. “Lone Wolf, the Darklord armies are regrouping. The Cener Druids have succeeded in amassing an army of Drakkarim, Giaks, Vordaks and Helghasts, and may be preparing to strike Sommerlund. We cannot spare any men!”

“Then I shall go,” said Lone Wolf. “I knew that something large was coming, an event that would lead to major changes in the Kai Lords. The Grand Masters have almost finished their Supreme Master training; my writings contain the knowledge they will need to fill in the blanks. They will lead the Kai until I return.”

“You’re not leaving me out of this one, old fool!” laughed Banedon. “I’m coming with you! You were never much of a student of magic, anyway.”

“Old habits die hard, ‘old’ friend,” laughed Lone Wolf. Both Ulnar and Rimoah looked at each other in confusion; did they not understand the seriousness of the issue. “But yes, we must leave with all haste. Rimoah, where is the next shadow gate to the Dazrian?”

SOME TIME LATER…

Lone Wolf and Banedon emerged into the deserted, twisted, nightmarish realms of the Dazrian, long since a dumping ground for Sommerlund’s most vile criminals. Memories of Lone Wolf’s last journey into this realm quickly rushed back: the twisted form of the Beholder, the trickery and evil of the Chaos-master, the battle against that fell beast, and his confrontation with five of Sommerlund’s most infamous murderers and heretics, including their leader Vonotar the Traitor, suddenly felt like it had happened yesterday rather than a lifetime ago. Banedon quickly sensed his friend’s unease. “Are you all right, Lone Wolf?”

Lone Wolf shook the memories free. “Yes…yes, I’m fine.” He motioned towards a forested set of hills. "Come on. It’s quite a trek to where the Chaos-master was last sighted.

BACK IN THE PRESENT…

Just as Chaos-master was about to crush Lone Wolf under his heel, he heard the sound of repeated strikes at his sides. Unable to discern where the sound was coming from, he was thus unable to stop the horrible, agonizing pain as Skarn-skae tore from one end of his nekc all the way to the other. As it flew into the distance, a ring of light suddenly appeared around it, guiding it right into Lone Wolf’s hands. From atop the tomb, Wil smiled at Lone Wolf, his staff slightly smoking from the sheer volume of spells he had just cast in rapid succession.

His sense of victory was short-lived, however, as the Chaos-master’s neck resealed itself, until there was no evidence of a hole ever being there. The god roared at Wil and slammed its fist down on the tomb, shattering it to rubble. Lone Wolf, meanwhile, used the chance to roll to his feet and hack at the monstrosity’s heels. Even when there was no sign of Wil escaping the tomb, he did not stop for a second. It would not end like last time…

BACK IN THE PAST…

What happened exactly, Lone Wolf forgot long ago. His last memories of his former life began with the sight of Banedon’s body, crushed in the fist of the Chaos-master. All around them was a spectacle of death and destruction, burning fields, massive craters, and a sense of dystopian madness. Chaos-master dejectedly threw Banedon’s body to the ground, and Lone Wolf rushed to his friend’s side, but it was too late; Banedon was long dead, beyond his abilities as a Kai Lord.

“Your ally is dead, Lone Wolf,” said Chaos-master. “Now, FACE ME!”

Lone Wolf’s grip around the Sommerswerd tightened, his face turning red with rage. Raising his blade high, he shouted his battlecry for one last time. “For Sommerlund! For Sommerlund and the Kai!”

Three minutes later, he was dead, and Chaos-master was limping away, barely able to sustain himself.

To Lone Wolf’s surprise, his eyes opened once again, locked upon a pure white sky. He climbed from the pristine earth, the Sommerswerd a few feet away from him. He was obviously no longer in the Dazrian, but rather in a paradise of some sort…

Suddenly, the very figure of Kai himself appeared before him. “Welcome, Lone Wolf. Welcome…to your destiny.”

The Chaos-Master roared to the sky in triumph; despite his grievous injuries, he had destroyed the foolish Sommlending warrior and his sorcerer companion. His cries grew ever louder as the sky darkened, and a pair of red, menacing eyes stared down directly at the mass of fur, slime, and other substances too vile to name. A thunderous voice echoed throughout the Dazrian. “Chaos-Master! Where is Lone Wolf?”

“He lies dead,” hissed the Chaos-Master, “just like you-”

No sooner had the words left his putrid, deformed lips, than the very ground began to shake with crackling black energy. A series of black, slimy tentacles ripped from the scorched earth and grabbed ahold of the Chaos-Master, threatening to tear him apart piece by disgusting piece. “He was to LIVE, you fool! LIVE!”

The Chaos-master’s bravado vanished, for he now knew the true power of the one he had defied. “W-What does it matter? You would have killed him anyway!”

“I was to take him to the Plane of Darkness!” shouted the voice. “His suffering in my wretched prison would have been eternal, forever blocked from Kai’s accursed light or Ishir’s damning blessing! I would have Magnamund’s greatest champion, a tool to use to bring that realm finally under my control, and through that all of Aon! Instead, YOU killed him, within a realm that Kai can still reach! HIS SOUL IS NOW WITH KAI! COUNTLESS MILLENIA OF CONQUESTS AND PLANNING ARE IN RUINS BECAUSE OF YOU. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW ENRAGED I AM AT THIS MOMENT?!!!”

If Chaos-master had any hopes of surviving, they were clearly dashed by this point. “M-M-Master! I can help you! Send me to Magnamund! I will crush Sommerlund for you!”

“Enough of your foolishness, your laughable masquerade as a god!” shouted Naar. “I will allow you to live, if only so you can forever know the price of your failure. I have visited your army; they now lie dead. I have struck the Order of the Kai; they, too, lie dead. However, I can never again act directly in Magnamund, can never again get a single servant to corrupt its accursed soil. YOU, my worthless pet, are banished to this realm, until the day the Kai Lord returns. On that day, your soul shall be mine for all eternity!”

The tentacles faded into mist, the sky clearned, and the eyes vanished. Everything was as it once was. The Chaos-Master let out a roar of lamentable defeat, and then sulked away.

BACK IN THE PRESENT…

The Chaos-Master turned on its heels and grabbed Lone Wolf, hoisting him high into the air. “This is your end, Kai Lord! There is no escape from-”

Suddenly, the Chaos-Master’s body began to shake violently. Lone Wolf seized the chance to pull free and, using his sword as a handle, slide down the monstrosity’s body. The false god continued to shake ever more severely, its eyes rolling up in agony, its clawed fingers clutched at its chest as a sinewy liquid started to pour out. Suddenly, the creature collapsed, whole folds of its body ripping themselves open with unbelievabe force. Within seconds, Chaos-Master was nothing more than a pool of goo.

Lone Wolf immediately ran to the collapsed tomb, throwing aside rubble in hopes of finding his comrade. “Hey…Loney!”

The Kai Supreme Master spun about to see Wil sitting on some discarded rubble, rather bruised but otherwise fine. “For future reference; don’t try to crush someone who can teleport. It never works.” Lone Wolf helped the mage to his feet, and the two quickly ran through another shadow gate.

THE END OF PART 105

Next time: Necrophiliacs-R-Us

PS: Sorry about the LONG wait.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:29pm

Gallo-Note: I’m on a tight schedule right now. Any mistakes will be corrected ASAP.

The Final Saga part 105.5: Incredible Recap Theater 3099
By d_Galloway

WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED UPDATE FOR THIS IMPORTANT SPECIAL…

A stage with a red curtain backdrop and a large, 1930s-style recliner chair fades into view. Galloway sits in the chair, reading from a massive book entitled “Horrible Fanfiction and the Modern Idiot, by Weiila.” He is wearing a red smoking jacket and pajamas while faking smoking from a pipe

Galloway: Oh hi! I didn’t see you come in!
Gemini: off camera Uh…I’ve been here for the last half hour. In fact, I was here twenty minutes before you.
Galloway: twitching Shut up! returns to normal Well, we’ve been through 105 chapters in the epic “Final Saga,” and frankly, the fans-
Gemini: All two of them.
Galloway: -might need some way to understand what the fuck’s been going on. Hence, this recap. Here, we hope to solve all those little problems you have comprehending a plot more confusing than a “Zippy the Pinhead” strip. So, here we go. slams the book shut LET’S HIT THIS THING!

Alright, let’s start with the beginning, the “Before Time” of this mess of a story. Countless eons ago, a war broke out between the gods Kai and Naar over control of the universe of Aon. After countless defeats, Naar was eventually trapped in his home dimension, his power sealed in another universe. About two years before this story began, Galloway and RPGC managed to stop Naar from reclaiming his power, and Naar himself was seemingly killed by Galloway.

All right, let’s fast forward two years. During that time, Galloway and Val are unwillingly married, Gemini becomes a mage, Weiila begins her long journey to a realm of sarcasm and disgust with humanity, the Task Force is formed, Galloway leaves the Task Force and HS takes his place, the KOF contest is held, Galloway is possessed by Raziel, the SoL is destroyed, everyone babysits a haunted hotel, there’s a war between Dr. Kaizer and RPGC, Christmas is saved twice, and a bunch of other stuff happens that really doesn’t deserve to be mentioned.

From there, our epic begins, when-

Wil wanders onto the set
Galloway: Um…can I help you?
Wil: Val said she hid the world’s greatest porn mag in here somewhere.
Galloway: sets down the book Wil…we’re filming right now. This set hasn’t been opened in over four years. Maybe she hid it in Macc’s HQ; that’s pretty abandoned right now.
Wil: scoffs Please. Look, just go on like I wasn’t here. Wanders backstage
Galloway: clears throat Alright, let’s continue. loud banging from backstage

PC Glenton unwittingly joins up with Belladonna, lover of Naar, in an attempt to kill Val. He succeeds beyond all expectations, and Val’s body is taken to an island fortress. During a rescue attempt, Naar reveals himself to be alive, expels the hero from his fortress. At the same time, Mox, now a go-for for Lucifer, is sent to kill Loki; Naar, however, frees the god, and gives him Val as an incentive to remain loyal. Meanwhile, Mox escapes from Hell through the same portal, landing in a forest surrounding RPGC. There, he encounters, and defeats, Sir Percival, but is unable and unwilling to finish the downed knight.

The heroes are rescued by a passing demigod and Mengde, who take them to have Mazrim Taim translate a document. It shows that Naar will lead an assault on the Heavens themselves, which the dark god promptly does. Galloway assists in repealing the invasion, but in the process Naar strips him of his SSJ form. Naar also tries to kill Loki and Val, knowing the god to be a trickster that has outlived his usefulness. Loki and Val meet up with Galloway, and join him, the trickster god plotting his own nefarious schemes as they do so.

Another loud crashes echoes from backstage. Galloway turned angrily to the curtain
Galloway: WIL! What are you-
Val enters
Val: Wil, you found it yet!
Wil: shouting from backstage Not yet! Man, this place is cluttered.
Galloway: Well, when Square-Enix is hunting you like a DOG, you don’t have a lot of time for house cleaning!
Val: All right, I’m going back. goes backstage
Galloway: Well, that should shut them up for now.

Anydangway, during their long journey back to RPGC, Galloway and crew meet up with TrkJac, the runner of a local mercenary school. They also briefly encounter Arac, TrkJac’s best student, and soon meet Galloway’s ex-girlfriend, killer android Yellow Tiger. TrkJac joins the group, and they next encounter Elizabeth Jones, aka Trisha, and help her sort out some local hunters. Afterwards, they get in a truck, and head out for RPGC in a truck. Along the way, they stop to kill a bunch of cultists that worship the Gatekeepers, the beings that maintain the barriers between dimensions.

Meanwhile, in RPGC, Wil, Poke and Mitchell accidentally open a portal into the X-Zone, releasing a chibified hellhound (who’s coming back, I promise). After stopping the foul beast of Chaos and possible spawn of Khorne or Slaneesh, kiro adopts the unwilling beast and names it Rio. Weiila also shows up, and is outed as a fallen Finnish goddess by Rio. At the same time, Wil is selected by Lone Wolf to help him recover the Lorestones of Nyxatar, relics that can be used to defeat Naar. And in the background, Belladonna ressurects Nyarlathotep, turning him into a servant of Naar.

Lone Wolf and Wil ask Weiila to open a portal to Kalevala, but she refuses. When she returns home, she is attacked by Mox, who reveals that he plans to enter Kalevala and kill Mox. At the same time, Leminkainen shows up, and all four travel to Kalevala, where they are quickly captured, along with Mox. During a jail break, Mox destroys most of the village, Leminkainen is smashed into pieces (again), and Weiila loses her sanity and nearly kills her father, Ukko. However, Mox kills him instead, just as Naar, Ukko’s friend and ally, arrives. Lone Wolf manages to stop Naar from killing everyone in the village out of anger, while Wil fights Mox, and gets his ass handed to him. Mox escapes to plan his next move, Weiila reveals her stock tragic past, they recover the Lorestone, and everyone walks away happy.

At this time, Galloway and co. reach RPGCity, and meet up with Percival, Gemini, and a mysterious red-cloaked figure, who turns out to be Maria, the future daughter of Galloway and Val. Somehow, she got sent back into time, along with several others from her time period, and even wierder, she has a relationship with Belladonna. Meanwhile…

kiro enters, Rio walking behind her
Galloway: You’re here for the porn, aren’t you?
kiro: rolls eyes No, I just dropped some tear gas rounds in the back. You mind if I-
Galloway: sighs Go ahead.
kiro wanders backstage. Rio walks up to Galloway
Rio: So…I’m coming back, huh?
Galloway: You’re an established character; I’m obligated to use you until your storyline is concluded. Sorry about your getting…caught up in the chaotic “plot,” but you know, these things DO happen.
Rio: Alright, but remember: the catgirl DIES! Got it?
Galloway: Sure, Rio. Rio walks backstage mumbling Good thing the dog dies. clears throat Anyway, I need to cut the recap short. LOUD crash, followed by a series of explosions and screams You see, I planted some plastique charges back there in case Square Enix caught up with me, and they probably just set them off.
turns to the backstage
Galloway: Hold on, guys! I’ll be back! walks off, ignoring the moans of pain I wonder where Ilmatar keeps that honey…

THE END OF PART 105.5

Next time: The actual chapter!

Sir_Percival · June 13, 2019, 11:29pm

Good lord, Galloway, are you still writing this work? What has it been by now…over two years?

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:30pm

There. Chapter done.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:30pm

The Final Saga part 106: The First to Fall (part 1)
By d_Galloway

Poke and Mitchell each emptied another beer, their eyes locked on the lonely police station; once, it had been the center of recent activity, but now it was reduced to the pointless structure it had been when Poke was unceremoniously made a police officer. “Funny how it happens, isn’t it?” asked Poke. Mitchell just grunted. “One minute, you’re important, a figure of prestige in your neighborhood. Then you blink, and you’re back where you started: at the bottom.”

“One minute you’re the star of Walking Tall, and the next thing you know you have a bit part in Leonard Part 6,” sighed Mitchell. Poke shuddered at the mere mention of that movie. “At least you matter a little. No one pays attention to the slobberly out-of-towner. I haven’t seen real action since I…killed that ‘son of a’ Martinez.”

Both let out simultaneous sighs, before returning to their drinks. Suddenly, the door came crashing open, revealing an excited kiro. “HEY! The casino’s open!”

“So what?” shrugged Poke, not even bothering to look at the catgirl. “It’s just a cesspool of crime and corruption, anyway.”

“No, Sin’s turned it into a headquarters!” shouted kiro. “Come on, you’ve got to see it!”

Snuggles sat at his desk, reading through alchemical and necromatic formulae, bouncing from dark curses to elixirs of life. His desk was covered with the littered remains of corpses, bubbling liquids of various colors, and other diabolical devices and machinations. His desk itself was situated in a long chamber, filled with machines and torture devices of all kinds, all stained with blood and fluids that defied human categorization. The walls were lined with numerous corpses, some fresh, some in the final stages of decomposition.

He didn’t even notice Belladonna enter the chamber, her face in a half-mocking sneer. “Aw, is something bothering necry-wekry?”

Snuggles did not look up from his notes. “What is it, Belladonna?”

She let out a soul-crushing laugh, taking delight in tormenting her fellow evil magic user. “Look, Snuggly, you have fallen behind in production. Naar needs fresh Vordaks and Helghasts up and running within the week. And you know what happens when he gets angry, don’t you?”

“Belladonna, tell our master we will NOT have them ready,” said Snuggles. “At least, not by me. I don’t have enough fresh bodies to deal with.”

Belladonna’s sarcastic demeanour changed immediately into a cold scowl. “You idiot! Naar needs those creatures! Our attack on RPGC may very well fail without them!”

“She’s there,” said Snuggles matter-of-factly. “I won’t allow you to attack while she’s there.”

“SHE DUMPED YOU, YOU IDIOT!” screamed Belladonna. “If Naar finds out-”

“Naar knows.”

Naar’s armored figure appeared in the chamber in a flash of black smoke, his eyes locked on Snuggles. “Necromancer, without you, we will have no choice but to cancel our attack on RPGC. Losing an opportunity such as that will make me quite…upset.”

“At least let me get her out,” said Snuggles. “Then, I’ll continue my work in your name.”

Naar stared at Snuggles for what seemed like a thousand years, but was in reality only a few seconds. “Very well. I will give you one day to…save her. In the meantime, Belladonna will gather the equipment you will need. If you do not return within twenty-four hours, I will just have to find a new necromancer, and you will need to find a new body AND soul.”

RPGC’s new casino was an enormous, extravagantly-decorated mixture of sin, greed, corruption, noise, and drunken senior women. The Galloway clones were busy wandering around, dressed in flashy uniforms that occasionally secreted a strange scent that caused people to lose all sense of reason and common sense when in their presence. The confused Poke and Mitchell wandered through the mess of a place, both contemplating exactly how they would blow it to the ground.

Finally, they saw Sinistral, standing next to a meeting room of some kind. “About time you guys got here,” he said. “Galloway’s started the meeting already.”

“What meeting?” asked Poke.

“We need to figure out how to deal with the Norse gods,” said Sin. His eyes turned to Mitchell. “By the way…the slob’s not invited.”

Mitchell started towards his gun, but Poke grabbed his arm, his hand quickly becoming wet with grease and oil. “Sin, Mitchell is just as much a part of this as anyone. He’s practically a resident here now!”

“Poke, the clones spent a good twenty minutes building the chairs in here,” said Sin. “They don’t want to have to build another because Sir Drinks-A-Lot sweat all over it.”

Mitchell finally had enough. “Oh, you’re asinine, Sinistral,” he said, before wandering off towards the bar. Sighing in defeat, Poke accompanied Sin into the meeting room, the doors slamming shut behind them.

Mitchell took a seat at one of the tables, a glass of Bud Light sitting in front of him. He looked into the drink and, as much as he tried not to, found his mind drifting back to how he ended up in this crazy world anyway. Back in his home world, he was Mitchell, the laid-back, no-nonsense detective that shook up the underworld, made criminals pay, and managed to get away with acting in the most unpolice-like manner possible. Somehow, he was the hero, and the heroes never died where he came from, making his life dull and empty, erasing the entire point of growing and changing in strength and intelligence.

So, when they replaced him with that cyborg Robocop, he found himself completely without a job. Then Poke showed up, trying to find a replacement for a bunch of other cops. Like an idiot, he accepted, and was now stuck here with a bunch of superpowered freaks, mythical creatures, and futuristic technology. He only had a drinking problem, a big gun, and a nearly-flawless aim to his credit. As he chugged the entire drink in one gulp, he realized Sin, bastard as he is, was right; he didn’t belong here. He-

“Is this seat taken?”

Trisha broke Mitchell out of his funk. “Oh, no problem, pretty lady,” he said. Trisha smiled nervously and took a seat, ice tea in hand. “Not a drinker, I see?”

“Haven’t really tried it yet,” said Trisha. “Why aren’t you at the meeting?”

“Why aren’t you?” retorted Mitchell.

Trisha let out a heavy sigh, her head bowed. “Sin wouldn’t let anyone that he didn’t consider important to RPGC’s defense inside. Galloway tried to talk me in, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“He’s an asshole,” grunted Mitchell. “So…we’ve got a few hours to kill. Want to blow your life savings at the Roulette table?”

Trisha started to say something that would have most certainly been, “No,” but a figure in a gray cloak approached, carrying a wooden staff with an ornate skull placed on top. Both stared at the sheer stupidity of the site, unable to comprehend how no one else was able to notice this nutcase. Then they remembered they were in a bar, and returned their focus to the nutcase.

“And that’s why I’m still awesome.”

Starstorm’s face was buried in his hands…or paws, depending on how you looked at it. “Sin, you start every damn meeting with a ten minute spiel on why you’re awesome! Damn it, we GET IT ALREADY!”

Sin’s look of conceit never left his face. “You know, that reminds me of a-”

Orakio raised a hand towards Sin. “Ladies and gentlemen, behold the number six reason I quit!”

Poke raised an eyebrow. “Weren’t you thrown out for being an egotistical, manipulative liar?”

“Sin, we have a multiverse to save,” said Weiila, trying to step in diplomatically. “We’re all on short nerves right now. Can we PLEASE start planning SOMETHING?!”

“…Fine, fine,” grumbled Sin, taking his seat at the massive conference table. Merlin rose at the far end, downing some of his “medicine” as he did so. “Alright, from what I understand, we have Norse gods out to kill us. They’re bigger, stronger, faster, and better than us in nearly every possible way. Half of them could probably win just by looking at us! So…what do we do? I’m fresh out of ideas!”

“We need to launch a preemptive attack,” said Sin. “If we just sit around here and wait to be attacked, they could bring their entire army down on us at once.”

“And how would invading the heavens be any different?” said Heaven’s Soldier. “We’d be walking right into THEIR territory, into THEIR gods and undead soldiers! We might as well just shoot ourselves and save them the trouble.”

“Why not just kill Odin?” asked GG Crono.

“And HOW are we supposed to get close to him?” asked 984.

Once again, Weiila jumped in. “Why not ask the one person who can resolve this?” She turned to Val. “Esker, you were a valkyrie for a thousand years. Do you know ANYWAY to kill the Norse gods?”

Val hung her head and looked away from Weiila. “Well…we weren’t completely immortal, if that’s what you mean. I mean, we had to eat apples to stay young and all. And if Thor’s performance was any indication, I…guess we could kill them with enough force.”

“That’s good to hear!” said Sin.

The cloaked one began to speak, his voice seemingly artificial and forced. “It is I, Death, devourer of souls! I have come to collect you!”

“Now wait a god damn minute!” shouted Mitchell. He leaped from the table with such force that it was nearly ripped out of its metal welding. However, the hooded figure suddenly started laughing in a much more natural voice and removed his hood, revealing Snuggles. “Gotcha, hon!”

Trisha turned away from the figure and dismissively waved her hand. “Go away, Mark or…Snuggles, or whatever your name is.”

Snuggles crouched next to Trisha. His hands moved to touch her, but stopped when he saw Mitchell reaching for his gun. Trisha still didn’t look at him. “Elizabeth, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was working for Naar, but I didn’t have a choice! You think you would’ve given a necromancer with a ridiculous name a chance?”

“Maybe if he wasn’t a goddamn liar,” said Trisha.

“Elizabeth…Trisha, there isn’t much time left! Naar’s preparing to attack RPGC as we speak!” Mitchell and Trisha both straightened up out of surprise. “Come on, if we leave now, he’ll spare you!”

Trisha turned to Snuggles, her eyes fiery with pure, unbridled rage. “Go. The. Fuck. Away.”

Frustrated, Snuggles grabbed Trisha by the head and pulled her out of her seat. Mitchell pulled his gun, but Snuggles threw a small ball of energy that slammed into the cop’s hand, knocking the gun away and causing Mitchell to recoil in pain. The patrons, finally awake to what was going on, started doing what all stock civilians did best: they started screaming like chickens with their heads cut off, running about in a blind panic, ducking behind the worse possible cover in hopes of not being killed.

“It’s not that easy, Sin,” said Val. “They’re GODS! At most, the strongest person in RPGC can lift a few giant boulders; they could probably throw the entire planet into the sun with one fingernail if they felt like it.”

“Bitchker’s right,” said Galloway. “Naar nearly killed me, and he managed to survive being blown apart. Imagine trying to permanently kill a god.” Glenton silently added another charge to Galloway on his “hit list” for stealing his nickname for Val.

Trisha struggled against Snuggles, as the necromancer tried to back away from the quickly-recovering cop. Suddenly seizing her chance, Trisha moved one foot behind Snuggles, sending him tumbling to the hard ground, and allowing her to quickly pull free and jump to the side. Mitchell grabbed his gun and pointed it at Snuggles, who was at this point climbing back to his feet. “You’re under arrest, you son of a -” said Mitchell. For some reason, he intentionally stopped short of the swear.

“THAT’S IT!” said Snuggles. “Copper, prepare to face the wrath of…SNUGGLES!”

There was a sudden silence, followed by a low snickering, followed by a loud giggling, and finally by uproarious laughter. Snuggles’ face turned red, first with embarassment, then with hatred. “You…you’re laughing at me. AT MY NAME! AT MY DAMN NAME! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!”

He raised his staff, the skull glowing with a sickly green light. He struck the ground with the weapon, causing a mass of green lightning and storm effects to appear throughout the general vicinity. Several portals opened, and undead minions began to pour out, their bodies deformed and built by patchwork, their eyes locked on their next meal. Once again, the crowd began to panic, while Mitchell and Trisha prepared to fight their way out. Snuggles, meanwhile, teleported out of the way, completely dissapearing from sight.

THE END OF PART 106

Next time: The epic conclusion! PLUS…someone dies!

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:30pm

There. The chapter’s finally finished. Part 2 will be posted this week.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:31pm

The Final Saga part 107: The First to Fall (part 2)
By d_Galloway

Mitchell grabbed a nearby bar stool and smashed it across the face of one of the approaching zombies, sending it falling back against the others in a domino effect. Seizing the chance, Mitchell and Trisha pushed through the thinned crowd, managing to get behind a nearby set of slot machines. With a quick heave, Trisha and Mitchell pushed several of the machines over, crushing or knocking down another series of zombies. However, despite their early success, the zombie hoard continued to pour through.

Finally, admist the ever-growing number of approaching enemies, Mitchell asked the one question everone else was thinking. “Where the hell are those guys?”

Starstorm’s ears suddenly shot straight up. “'Did you guys just hear something?”

'No," said Weilla. “Don’t worry, though. We’ve managed to magicproof this entire room. Not even an army of rampaging undead zombies could break in here.”

Mitchell and Trisha continued to retreat deeper into the casino, the zombies continuing to close in on them and anyone else unfortunate enough to still be in the building. Their thoughts of escape suddenly ceased when a number of zombies came flying from the distance, courtesy of a number of blows by Yar Kramer. The RPGCer was covered in zombie gore, but otherwise relatively unharmed. His eyes lit up at the sight of the two. “Good to see you two are still alive.”

“And…you are?” asked Trisha.

Kramer’s eyes suddenly flared open. “YAR KRAMER! Gawd, is there ANYONE that-”

“Well, gotta go…Krumer, was it?” said Mitchell. Yar barely managed to restrain himself from beating the crap out of the slob. “Just beat a path to the exit, wilya? Catgirl, you’re with me.”

Meanwhile, near the emergency exit to the casino, Percival’s sword went snicker-snacking through wave after wave of undead, blood and gore splattering against every surface within fifty feet. Finally, after over a hundred monstrosities lay dead at his feet, Percival gained a reprieve, wiping his sword on the rotting clothing of one zombie while waiting for others to come. He could see more approaching, spurned on by the scent of their dead brethren’s rotting remains, as well as the promise of fresh meat.

“You know, the exit’s open.”

Percival looked down, and saw Rio sitting next to him, his small frame covered in blood from the holy paladin’s crusade, playfully chewing on a zombie’s index finger. “Ah, the hell-spawn doth speak,” said Percival. “What matter of business doth thee have, accursed servant of Lucifer?”

“Look, I just need someone to talk to BESIDES that psychotic catgirl,” said the hellhound. “I’ve been…thinking about things.”

Percival’s eyes returned to the closing zombies. “Very well, but state yourself swiftly!”

Rio climbed to his feet. “It’s just, you know, I’ve been trying to get back into Hell since Loki turned me into this, but when I DID go back with that black mage…I realized I don’t belong there anymore.”

The paladin rolled his eyes. “Dost though expect me to show sympathy towards a vile servant of darkness?”

“That’s not me anymore,” said Rio. “My time as a hellhound is over. Now I’m just a pet for a kid that’s two steps from being a pet herself. I…just need to-” Something suddenly went to the chibi’s mind. “Wait a second, why are you still here? You could escape at any time!”

The first few zombies reached Percival; the paladin’s holy sword began to tear through them yet again. “There are still innocents within this building. I must place the lives of others before my own at all times, for such is the Way of the Paladin.”

Rio scoffed. “Oh, come on! Do you REALLY think paladins were at ALL like that? Weren’t most dark ages/middle ages knights simply power-hungry marauders and thieves?”

Percival impaled one zombie on his sword, twirled the weapon above his head, and tossed the zombie’s body off the weapon and into the advancing herd, slowing the advance for a second. “Verily. However, that doest not excuse me from my purpose. I will not leave this spot until everyone has escaped, or this threat has been vanquished.”

Mitchell tumbled towards a row of slot machines, knocked off-balance by an inconveniently-discarded coffee table. Trisha suddenly found herself being swept up in a crowd of rampaging random civilians, and there was absolutely no sign of Yar. Picking himself up, Mitchell suddenly saw Gemini sitting next to him, pouring coins into a slot machine as if hypnotized. “Wait a second,” said Mitchell. “Aren’t you a minor?” Gemini didn’t respond, but rather continued to pour money into the machine. Cursing his misfortune, he grabbed the mage’s rigid form, forcidly pried him from the machine, and dragged him towards the exit.

Trisha and Yar reached the exit at almost the same time; by this point, Percival had cut such a circle of holy retribution that the two had to wade through the corpses of the re-dead just to get to where Percival was standing. Rio stood precariously on the frame of the emergency exit, watching for more advancing undead. Finally, Mitchell reached the doorway, Gemini regaining consciousness once they stopped. “Is that everyone?!” shouted Percival.

Rio slammed down his goggles and pressed a few switches on the side. A small radar appeared in the corner of his infra-red vision, revealing no beeps outside of a large concentration near the main entrance to the casino. There were no signs of zombies. “That’s about it,” he said. “It’s just those guys now.”

“Then let’s get out of here!” said Mitchell.

“I don’t think so.”

A massive surve of electrical energy appeared before the group, eventually vanishing into the form of Snuggles. “I must say, I’m impressed such a small group could hold off my rampaging horde, but enough with the empty and pointless praise. Trisha, we’re getting out of here.”

“Don’t you get it, you sad, pathetic little…excuse for a man!” shouted Trisha. “I’m not going with you!”

Legitimate concern crossed Snuggles’ face. “Trisha…if you stay, Naar will not spare you…I will not be able to save you…please, just come-”

“You heard the lady, you son of a-!” shouted Mitchell. Once again, he neglected to finish his swear.

“Naar hath been defeated once before, and he shall be defeated again!” said Percival.

“The girl’s made her choice, dick!” said Yar. “Get the hell out of here!”

“Believe me, you’ll soon have bigger things to worry about than your now-ex-girlfriend!” shouted Rio.

“Uh…wuh’s going on?” yawned Gemini.

Snuggles raised his staff, pointing its tip at Trisha. “All right. If you won’t come willingly, then…”

A thousand thoughts suddenly rushed through Mitchell’s mind. Once again, he was severely outmatched. This guy has an army of frickin’ zombies, for crying out loud! Then he remembered why he had stayed here, the real reason he stayed here. Now, even if it was the end of everything, he would finish what he came here for…

Suddenly, Mitchell rushed towards Snuggles, knocking him to the ground with a resounding thud. The staff flew straight up, seemingly in slow motion. The necromancer quickly threw Mitchell off, grabbed the staff, and charged towards the slob. Percival and Yar rushed forward, grabbing onto the necromancer, while Mitchell tried to pull the staff out of his arms. Finally, Snuggles screamed a dark incantation, and a massive wave of pink energy erupted from the staff’s skull top and spread out, blowing back the three attackers, and sending the other three flattened against the wall.

When Trisha regained consciousness, Weiila and Heaven’s Soldier were helping her back to her feet. Medics were already tending to the others, underneath disturbed mutters of oncoming destruction and the evils of gambling. “Is everyone all right?” she asked.

Heaven’s Soldier looked nervously at Weiila, who nodded slowly. “Well, from what we gathered, Snuggles was behind this.”

“Well…DUUUUUUUH!” said Trisha. Everyone turned toward the three briefly before returning to their own work. The two RPGCers sat Trisha on one of the few remaining chairs in the general area and continued.

“Snuggles must have used a desperation spell to escape,” said Weiila. “The other Wilfredo claims that it lies outside of standard necromancy, so it was probably linked with something on his person. In any case, it knocked everyone away with the force of a small tornado, but only pushing outwardly. Percival and Yar are tought enough to survive an attack like that, even from that range. Gemini was able to pull up a barrier at the last second. If you or Rio were any closer to the blast, you would have been wall pizza.”

“Then…everything’s good, right?”

Heaven’s Soldier facepalmed himself. “You don’t get it, kid. There was one person here who had no magical defense, a small power level, and was standing right in front of the blast.”

Trisha suddenly realized who they were talking about. “Mitchell? Where is he?”

“HE’S DEAD!” the two shouted. Once again, everyone turned their attention towards them, before returning to their own work. HS cleared his throat and continued. “The blast knocked him through a row of slot machines and against a brick wall. By the time Weiila got to him, he was dead from either internal bleeding or a broken neck.”

“At least he tried to go out a hero, for what his slovenly life was worth,” said Weiila. Trisha wanted to reach out and claw her face off, but found herself completely limp. She barely knew the guy, and yet, she found herself already catatonic over his death.

Belladonna returned to Snuggles’ lab to find the necromancer hard at work, pumping a purplish liquid into a mass of convulted corpses sewn together. “Snuggles…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” said the necromancer, not even looking up from his work. “It just wasn’t to be. She’ll just have to die like everyone else.”

Suddenly, Belladonna’s hair stood on end. “Oh…thank’s for reminding me!”

THE END OF PART 107

Next time: Filler Chapter: The Queen of Darkness, The Android, and the Future Child.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:31pm

There. Chapter done.

And next time, hopefully a fun one.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:31pm

The Final Saga part 108: The Android, the Teenager, and the Queen of Darkness
By d_Galloway

News of Mitchell’s death spread like wildfire through RPGC. Pokefreak suddenly withdrew himself to the RPGCPD Station, the Task Force being left to the difficult task of cleaning up the mess. Galloway tried to locate Trisha, but Sin quickly appointed him, Starstorm, and Crotanks in charge of cleaning up any zombies that got away from the casino. The rest of RPGC found themselves simply in an aimless direction, unable to even comprehend a possible action to pursue.

Yellow Tiger stood just outside the casino, pawing her cheek nervously. Suddenly, a zombie came charging out of the building, grasping onto the android in a blind search for fresh brains. Within a matter of a half-second, it was over, the zombie’s body torn clean in half and its head crushed like an egg shell. “Damn zombies…” Then she felt the left side of her face; a good chunk of her flesh had been torn off, exposing a mass of robotic features underneath a red coating of fake blood.

Just then, Galloway rushed out of the casino, zombie-slaying handgun in hand. He didn’t even notice Tiger standing there, his eyes simply locked on the rotting undead corpse. Finally, just as he was stepping past her, the android grabbed him by the collar and twisted him around. “Look, you! I need-”

Galloway’s eyes, however, were locked on the massive spot of missing flesh. Tiger’s face scrunched in frustration. “Listen, I need a truck and some muscle! I have to get some stuff out of the safehouse!”

“Y-You mean that shack in the middle of nowhere?” coughed Galloway. Tiger started to move her free hand towards Galloway’s face. “All right, all right! Take one of the trucks!”

“And my muscle?” she asked.

It was a quick jog to the RPGC Hotel, although it took slightly longer due to the elevator being overloaded by trays filled with the pancake special. After dashing up the seventeenth floor, Yellow Tiger finally reached her target room and, without thinking it out first, promptly kicked the door down…

(NEXT SCENE CENSORED)

Tiger continued to drive the truck down the freeway, humming 1970s trucker tunes while waiting to reach a place with radio stations yet again, a red scraf covering her exposed cheek. Maria, meanwhile, was seated in the passenger seat, staring dejectedly out the window at the endless desert landscape. “Okay, why am I here again?” she asked.

“My safehouse is filled with equipment,” said Tiger. “You know, the kind you DON’T want falling into enemy hands? And since the stuff’s so damn bulky, I need someone to help me get the stuff into the truck. Your dad volunteered you.”

Maria scoffed. “He’s NOT my dad!”

“You sure biologists will take that stance?” Maria rolled her eyes as Tiger continued. “Besides, imagine what he would do if he heard how I saw you and your catboy boyfriend…”

Maria turned to Tiger, her eyes practically popping out of their sockets, her hair turning white in horror. “No…No, you wouldn’t!”

“Was that position thirty-five, by any chance?” asked Tiger, her voice moving sing-songingly along. “Cause that’s my absolute favorite position! I didn’t even KNOW saiyans were that flexible!”

“SHUT UP, YOU GODDAMN-”

Tiger nonchalantly raised a large pistol to Maria’s head, silencing the half-saiyan. “Alright, first lesson: never piss off the angry android with a shitload of guns. Now calmly turn back to the window, and we’ll pretend this never happened.” Maria obligingly turned, muttering curses under her breath towards the android. Tiger, however, was already absorbed in another thought, of the REAL reason she was going back…

She had to get there before SHE did.

FLASHBACK…

Tiger tore the wings from the back of the last of the winged demons, her free hand searching her pockets for even one free bullet. Fortunately, the tide of monstrosities had vanished, leaving only the black-haired woman with a tail in their place. “Alright, bitch, just what the hell do you want?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” said the woman. “I need a place to live in this dimension, and I want your house.”

“Uh…why?”

“Because it’s remote, scenic, and has a lovely sunset view,” said Belladonna. “Which, of course, means you’re evicted. Get out before I-”

(One colossal battle later)

“So it’s agreed,” said Tiger. "You get to stay here as long as you pay your half of the rent, and I don’t have to fight an army of demons every time you come over? Belladonna nodded, the two shook hands, and an event that will probably have no negative effect on either began…

END FLASHBACK

MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN TIME…

Alternate Poke found himself crashing against a solid white floor, time machine still firmly in his hands. There was nothing to be seen for miles in all directions, but a voice began to chant in his ear. “Time-spurned soul, you have come.”

“Who the hell is this?” shouted Alternate Poke.

“Your time is ending,” said the voice. “The time of the gods is ending. The cycle must be brought to a close…Soon, you will know what to do.”

After a few minutes of fumbling for the keys, Tiger pulled open the basement doors, and Maria stumbled inside, feeling around desperately for a light. Her hands finally swiped at a pullcord, and the lights slowly hummed to life, revealing a small laboratory filling the entire basement, with the exception of a water heater and a washer/drier combo.

Tiger moved towards a series of massive, liquid-filled containment chambers. “Alright, what’s that for?” asked Maria.

“Part of the artificial skin process,” said Tiger. “Just…get it on the truck. And don’t drop it; I spent a lot of money on that thing!” Cursing once again, Maria bent down, grabbed one end of the first chamber, and lifted it over her head, carefully balancing it as she wandered up the stairs. Tiger, meanwhile, gathered a number of loose documents and binders, placed them inside a desk, and started moving the desk up the stairs.

After a number of trips, the entire cellar was empty, save for the very basics. Tiger closed the cellar door, locked it for possibly the last time, and started back to the truck…only to see Belladonna standing there, a confused look on her face. “Hello, Tiger. What are you doing here?”

“Getting my stuff,” said Tiger. “In case you don’t remember, we’re at war now.”

“Were we NEVER at war?” chuckled Belladonna. “But anyway, I came to give you a warning.”

Tiger raised an eyebrow. “A warning?”

“Just letting you know that, if Maria gets hurt in any way, I’m personally going to rip a hole through your abdomen,” said Belladonna. “That girl is too important to me to let you recklessly-”

“It’s not me you should be talking to,” said Tiger. “Besides, what’s it matter? You really think Naar can win this thing?”

Belladonna’s friendly face melted into a glaring sneer. “I would watch your tongue, girl. Naar is far more powerful than even your computer brain can fathom. He will destroy the Kai, he will destroy RPGC, and from there, he will bring the multiverse to heel!”

“What’s that shouting back there?” shouted Maria from the truck.

Tiger looked at the truck, and then back at Belladonna. “Just so you know, she’s apparently a ‘kai lord,’ too. Try to kill her, and you’ll probably have to deal with a very pissed off Galloway.” She rubbed the flesh-covered part of her face. “And believe me, he can get REALLY pissed at times.”

Belladonna looked at the truck. “You’re right. Still, nothing can stop Naar’s conquest. You’ve been warned, and I’m taking your stereo.” With that, Belladonna vanished.

Back in RPGC, Tiger and Maria started to unload equipment into the Task Force HQ, just as Galloway came in, holding a blood-soaked shotgun. “Hey, you guys back already?” he said. “Just finished up the last of the zombies.” He then saw the equipment. “Uh…what is that?”

“It’s stuff for artificial skin,” said Maria. Yellow Tiger started making hushing noises. “Apparently she was worried about not having any skin replacements, so she wasted precious fuel and money driving all the way to the desert to preserve her own vanity.”

“…Tiger, you KNOW we can’t afford something like this,” said Galloway. “What if we needed that truck for something, you know, IMPORTANT?”

“Trust me, this can be useful,” said Tiger. “Besides, did you know your daughter here was in position thirty-five, by any chance?”

Maria suddenly went into rigor mortis, while Galloway chuckled. “Thirty-five? Isn’t that your-” Realization hit him like a bucket of rusty nails thrown by a ninja infused with the genes of Mr. T and further enhanced with the power of friendship. “Maria…every synapse of my brain just shut off. What…does she mean?”

“Uh…uh…” She pointed towards the door. “Look, it’s Tingle, the only Nintendo character left by the year 2018, coming back into the past to exert his vile influence ahead of schedule!” She quickly ran off, while Galloway continued to stand there, pale-faced and shellshocked.

THE END OF PART 108

Next time: Ragnarok begins.

Sorry about the poorness of this chapter. This is what you get when sleep-deprived, I guess.

Rigmarole · June 13, 2019, 11:31pm

Man, it’s part 108! Give yourself a pat on the back*, you are persistent.

*caveat: long arm needed

PC_Glenton · June 13, 2019, 11:31pm

Trust me, d… we care.

Just because some of us don’t talk much (guilty as charged), doesn’t mean we are not viewing.

Besides, this story is still the most viewed so far, according to the view counter.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:32pm

Gone. Following post will explain the reason.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:33pm

Sorry, but the chapter simply wasn’t working. I have a major case of writer’s block in regard to this fic, but I swear to God I will be back shortly.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:34pm

The Final Saga part 109: Ragnarok (Part One)
By d_Galloway

Odin stood before the gathered horde of warriors and fellow gods, all armed and ready for the battle ahead. The number of attendees was so vast that they spilled out past the ruins of Valhalla and reached deep into the outer confines of what remained of the Heavens. Furthermore, the Norse gods were not the only beings in attendance; nearly every surviving deity waited patiently for the one-eyed god’s speech.

Finally, Odin cleared his throat and began. "Fellow gods and chosen warriors, there is a great challenge awaiting us. Naar will be dealt with in time, as will that murderer Mox. But they are not our focus. I have seen that the residents of RPGC will lead the gods to their ultimate destruction. Soon, they will strike back at us all, the final sign of the mortals discarding those that once made them great, that guided their societies. They once fought in our names; now, they will fight to snuff us out of existence.

“The traitorous valkyrie, Robyn, will lead them, accompanied by nearly all of RPGC’s standing military. They will lose many nondescript units, but the bulk of their force will center their attacks on this spot, Valhalla. Their fury will pour forth, striking down everything in their path. And finally, when all of the Norse gods lie dead, they will turn their attention to the rest of the gods…and be the death of us all. That is why they must be destroyed when they strike, before they can even breach the gates of the Heavens! Together, we shall crush these foolish mortals, and bring about a new golden age!”

The crowd’s response was immediate. The uproar of agreement and support threatened to shake the foundations of the Heavens to their very core. Odin smiled at the sight of his new-found followers, confident that, at last, he had found a means of destroying RPGC and averting the future he had foreseen…

A pair of skeletal vikings dragged Nyarlathotep’s broken form into the frozen underworld’s main hall. In truth, the hall was merely a long cavern, lit by braziers bearing towering blue flames, and decorated along its sides with the frozen remnants of ancient battle armor and weapons. A large throne, carved out of human bone and reinforced with a mixture of stone and steel, sat Mox, legs crossed, hands tapping against the arms of his macabre seat, eyes locked upon his helpless captive. “Hello, God of Humanity’s Evil,” he said in a mocking tone. “I do hope you’ve enjoyed your stay here.”

Nyarl could not even lift his head as the guards hurled him to the ground before their new lord. “You…How dare you speak to a god in such a way…”

The demonic black mage gave a dark, twisted grin. “Ah, you gods are always the same, always looking down on us…‘mere mortals.’ But as you can see, I am MUCH more than that.” He leaned in, savoring every passing moment. “I was meant for far greater things, destined for a future even you cannot comprehend. And now, look around you. Hel is dead, and I rule the underworld!”

“Only a fraction of it,” corrected Nyarl. “And what of your…inglorious defeat in RPGC 2?”

Mox leaned back, touching his hand to where his heart should have been. “My dear sweet Nyarl, you wound me so. That was a…mere setback. I was not fully entrenched in my new territory, my minions were not at sufficient strength, and I did not reckon that Naar would recover so quickly after his near-destruction. But now, my numbers have grown tremendously.” He motioned to his guards. “Can you believe Hel stashed these ever-so-helpful brutes in the ice wastes? Before, I had to rely on whatever stray demons I could persuade to join my cause, but now, I have an entire army.”

“And what do you intend to do with them?” said Nyarl. “What do you intend to do with me?”

Mox stood from his throne, dusted the bone meal from his armor, and knelt in front of Nyarl. “I plan deal with those meddlesome RPGCers when they are at their weakest. But first…let’s just say I never really liked my family.”

The conference room was filled to capacity yet again; this time, however, it was not only the residents of RPGC, but also the generic soldiers they had utilized during their retaking of RPGC 2. Maps of every nook and cranny of Valhalla were drawn up, along with complete bios and intelligence reports on every one of the Norse gods. Sinistral and Val stood at the head of the table, mumbling between themselves, while everyone else simply waited for them to say something.

Finally, Sin looked to the anxiously waiting crowd. “Considering the situation, I’ll make this brief. The Norse gods want us dead. So far we’ve been on the receiving end of two attacks, and frankly, we simply can’t hope that they will stop. Our only chance is to take the fight to them. Val will explain our plan.”

Val cleared her throat. “It’s not going to be easy. Hel, our chances of even having one survivor are next to nothing. We’ll have to risk everything on a frontal assault, as there is simply no room to perform a flanking maneuver or sneak attack. Just getting inside Valhalla will require us to push through a series of battlegrounds, no doubt pushing our way through a couple hundred thousand chosen warriors and the like. Then, when we get closer to where Odin will be hiding out, the rest of the gods will be on us. We’ll have to somehow fight through them and get inside, after which we will need to defeat the All-Father somehow and end this impossible mission. Any questions?”

There was stone dead silence from the crowd, as everyone either looked about in absolute horror at their oncoming objective or reflected on how their lives were wasted. “THEN LET’S MOVE OUT!” shouted Val. Everyone grabbed their gear and headed out towards the door…except for Sin.

“Wait a minute,” said RPGC’s chief long-haired guy. “Where the hell is Galloway?”

MEANWHILE, IN THE RPGC TASK FORCE HQ…

Galloway stood, still completely catatonic.

THE END OF PART 109

Next time: Things don’t go according to plan. Also, family reunions can be a bitch…

Fontana · June 13, 2019, 11:34pm

interesting story.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:35pm

The Final Saga part 110: Ragnarok (Part Two)
by d_Galloway

The strange old man’s eyes suddenly flew open, his pupils seemingly filled with various spinning vortexes, miniature universes, and the like. Alternate Poke, meanwhile, was frantically attempting to get his time machine to work again, but so far he had not met with any success. In fact, every attempt at repairing the machine had only served to further its current state of disrepair. The old man appeared to have no designs of letting him leave anytime soon.

“The Ragnarok has begun,” said the old man. “Things are coming to a head at long last.”

Alternate Poke finally turned his head. “What the hell are you-”

“We are all players on Time’s infinite stage,” said the old man. “Ever since the beginning of existence itself, our paths have been plotted. Yours has been a most twisted journey, to be sure, but you have nonetheless been brought to this important role. Now, listen.”

Grumbling, Alternate Poke sat at the old man’s feet, as the mysterious figure began speaking. “The Ragnarok is a battle with no victor, a pointless war that will bring much destruction but will resolve nothing. Fortunately, preventing this disaster will be a bit simpler to accomplish, with my spy placed amongst their number and all. But as for you…”

Lone Wolf and Wil suddenly found themselves standing on a desert plateau, in the middle of what appeared to be a vast astral plane. A single Gatekeeper, in all its demonic glory, appeared before them, its hideous visage seemingly swallowing whole galaxies. Lone Wolf clutched the Lorestone in one hand and Skarn-skae in the other, his limbs tightened in anticipation of an attack. Wil quickly followed suit, realizing that this was not part of the planned tour.

“Servant of Kai, we have orders to bring you here,” shouted the Gatekeeper, his voice sounding like an entire chorus of speakers rather than a single bull-shaped skull. “The Ragnarok has begun.”

Lone Wolf cautiously lowered his guard, his eyes still locked on the skull. “Ragnarok? By Ishir, what madness is this?! Kai claimed that-”

“Odin’s true allegiance was not to his fellow gods, but rather to himself. He knows that his time is nearing an end, and does not wish to be destroyed. He has convinced the gods that RPGC wishes to destroy them all, when they only wish to end the machinations of the Norse gods.”

“You mean…they’re going to attack the gods themselves?” said Wil. “Come on, we have to stop them!”

“Hold, mortal,” shouted the Gatekeeper. “There is a better way. Now, listen well…”

An entire army of rotting, skeletal vikings stood before Mox, their shambling forms covered in glowing runes and wards, their hands clutched around a number of different arms, ranging from axes and swords to shotguns and plasma rifles. Nyarlathotep was chained to a nearby wall, his chains covered in similar runes, small black wisps of smoke rising occasionally from his body.

“Alright, you maggot-ridden…maggots!” said Mox. “Nobody ever won a war by dying for his country! Instead, he won the war by raising a fucking horde and having them descend upon the poor bastards that stand in his way!” The demon laughed at his own poor joke, while the vikings simply looked at each other in confusion. "Okay, in all seriousness, your only job is to slaughter everyone that gives us any resistance. If they surrender, bring them to me, and I will decide if they fit my designs.

“There is one other order. Somewhere in the village is a woman named Meliah. She bears a strong resemblance to yours truly, you can’t miss her. I want one detachment of you lugs to attack her residence first. Bring me everyone in that house. If Meliah is not in there, hunt for her elsewhere. I want her alive and as uninjured as possible.”

A FEW HOURS LATER, JUST OUTSIDE THE BLACK MAGE VILLAGE…

The sun slowly rose in the distance, blanketing the entire area in a beautiful cornucopia of colors and shadows. A handful of guards were positioned on the village’s outskirts, but otherwise the residents were going about what remained of their daily business, many seeking to return to their families as soon as possible. None saw the first vikings approach from the forest’s undergrowth, now did they hear the crossbows and sniper rifles cock into readiness.

The sound of gunfire and screams were the first warnings the villagers received, and in the end, it was simply too late. The main assault force launched itself into the fray, tearing through the village’s defenders with the speed and bloodlust of a barrage of machine guns tearing into human flesh. Wave after wave of spells were hurled at the undead warriors, but no matter what elements and celestial powers were called upon, the runes simply warded the vikings from harm.

After only twenty minutes, it was over. Half of the village was dead, and the other half was now in Mox’s custody.

On the outskirts of the Heavens, the forces of RPGC huddled together, preparing themselves for the hopeless battle that lay ahead. The occasional joke and laugh was exchanged, and spirits tried to remain high, but everyone knew it was all over. They couldn’t defeat the Norse gods, unless the other gods assisted them…

A pair of viking warriors dragged Meliah before Mox, standing above the rubble that now buried the Black Pentagram. The demon didn’t even notice his former daughter’s struggles and screams. “Hmph, this brings back some memories.” He pointed to a nondescript piece of earth. “I think it was about a hundred feet below THAT spot that I died the first time.”

“What are you doing, father?” snarled Meliah.

Mox slowly turned to Meliah, his eyes locking with hers. He saw a pathetic whelp lying before him; in turn, she saw nothing of her father in this man. The demon reeled back his arm and backhanded Meliah across the face, the crevices of his gauntlet tearing into her flesh and drawing trickles of blood. “Don’t question me, girl! My plans extend far beyond your feeble understanding!”

Meliah began to spit a combination of blood and saliva. “If you…plan to-”

“I don’t plan, I succeed,” said Mox. “This was merely a pit stop, child. I have grand schemes for this multiverse, but before I can put them into motion, I have to make sure all my old accounts are closed. This…scrap of a village, where it all began, is simply the first stop. Once I finish with RPGC, I will be unstoppable! And even Naar will-”

A loud wail suddenly pierced Mox’s speech, causing the former black mage to look to his warriors in confusion. “Excuse me, but…didn’t I tell you fools to lock the rest of the rabble back in the village?”

A single viking warrior moved forward, carrying a small baby in its arms. Wrapped in a small blanket, it looked less than a year old. Mox took one look at the child, and then looked back at Meliah. “Is…this…”

“Your…grandson,” spat Meliah.

Mox suddenly broke into a small chuckle, swiping the baby from the viking’s arms and holding it close to himself. “Ah, isn’t he just the handsomest little thing? He looks just like his father…you know, your brother.” Meliah lunged at Mox, but was easily restrained by the vikings. “I can definitely feel potential in this one. Why, with the proper training, he can become nearly as powerful as I was in life.”

“Let him go, you monster!” shrieked Meliah.

Mox pinched Meliah’s chin in his usual mocking manner. “Don’t worry, my little deary. I won’t train him. In fact, I won’t let him ever leave you.” He slowly set the baby on the ground, right in front of Meliah. The anxious mother tried to reach out to her son, tried to hold him in her arms, tried to tell him everything would be all right…

Then the foot came down. Mox’s boot smashed right into the baby’s head, squashing it like a ripe melon. Blood, brains and teeth went flying in every direction, splatting all over Meliah’s face and clothes. The helpless woman screamed and cursed hysterically as Mox kicked the lifeless body into the nearby ravine, the very one he had been unceremoniously thrown over so many thousands of years before. “Try getting THAT out of your mind, bitch!” screamed Mox, practically doubling over from laughter.

Meliah tried to mouth a spell at the murderer, but could not find any sense of focus. Mox, dispassionately, turned his back to his daughter. “I can’t risk having anyone more powerful than me running around, upsetting everything I hope to accomplish.” He waved an arm to his men. “Vikings, take her to the others. I wish to remain alone for a while.” The warriors silently obeyed their order, Meliah crying and cursing as they dragged her off.

Mox looked down at the mess of blood and guts, still lying in a pool at his feet. Removing one of his gauntlets, he reached down and dipped his index finger in the pool, admiring the texture and color of the dark liquid before him. “Yes, he would have been too powerful.” He licked the blood from his finger. “But he would have been a tasty snack.”

THE END OF PART 110

Next time: RPGC vs. the Heavens! Guess who wins…

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:36pm

The Final Saga part 111: Ragnarok (Part Three)
By d_Galloway

A day had passed since RPGC first entered the outskirts of Valhalla, armed and ready for battle. The sky was a deathly black mixed with shades of gray, small flashes of lightning occasionally providing some light. The ground was scorched and bloodied from endless battle, so much so that their campfires were lit using the disembodies limbs, appendages, and heads of the numerous Einjerhar, long since abandoned and regenerated by their owners.

Although Sinistral had expected the gods to have launched a preemptive strike, the scouts having not reported any signs of the enemy, the heroes immediately set up a base camp, combining every facet of their individual bases from the assault on RPGC 2. With a large standing army, accompanied by nearly all of RPGC’s finsest, the battle ahead seemed winnable.

On a small rock ledge overlooking a bulk of the battlefield stood Valkyrie Esker, overlooking a place that was once known to her. Now, all seemed alien to her, reinforcing the fact that she no longer belonged here. Despite all of her thousand years of experience, Esker found it hard not to cry out in rage, frustration, and agony at the fate Odin and his damned paranoia had condemned her to.

“Valkyrie Esker.”

Nagumo took a position at Val’s side. “I do not mean to intrude, but we are preparing for the attack. Sinistral desires your presence.”

“Nagumo…how do you do it?” asked Val.

The man could only raise an eyebrow. “Do what?”

“Live with us. I know we’re far from your model Communist society. Hell, we even have a casino now…which, to be honst, I’m still confused about. And let’s be serious, you have no serious powers or abilities. You’re just…just…a human.”

“So…why do I stay here? Because as flawed as it is, it’s my home for now. Someday, I will move to someplace else, continue to spread my work across this accursed capitalist state. But in the meantime, I find my place in the clockwork mechanism of things and work the best I can.”

“But-”

“Even if it’s just as a tactician, I can still contribute to the greater good. If you feel sorrow for having to face your former colleagues, don’t. They do not deserve your compassion, only the point of your spear. Whatever you were once, you are now a RPGCer, for all that entails.”

Nagumo quickly made his way back to the camp. Val watched as he left, smiling slightly as she did so. Whatever his motives, his excuse for a pep talk had some small effect on her morale. Now all she had to do was drive Gungnir through Odin’s other eye, and everything would be fine.

The survivors of Mox’s massacre were quickly herded behind a series of rust-covered iron gates, one of the few remnants of the camps the residents had forced their non-magical relatives to spend their existence in less than a century before. The gate was re-secured with a large iron padlock, every inch of the bars covered in glyphs and seals of all kinds. Just outside of the gate, Mox activated a small forcefield generator, creating an impenetrable field of energy around the site.

“And so, ladies and gentlemen, I must bid a found…adieu,” said the demon, bowing slightly as he did so. “For you see, I have more important matters to attend to.” A few of the prisoners tried to mutter curses and invocations, but most were still in a stunned, withdrawn silence. Those that did try to fight back suddenly found their tongues lying on the grass in front of them, blood pouring from their mouths. “…Even I found that one to be in poor taste.”

Mox motioned his viking cohorts towards the force field. “Don’t let anyone near that projector. The last thing we need is some brat thinking he’s a hero. If you need me…just follow the road you’re on.” Laughing at his own horrid joke, Mox vanished into the horizon, the sound of an opening and closing Shadow Gate being the only signs of his passage.

Sin was suddenly awakened by the sound of trumpeting and drum beats. Everyone else was already gathered on the ledge before he managed to stumble out of his tent, eyes straining against the unnatural mixture of solid gray with brilliant blue and gleaming yellow. The real sight, however, was the massive army waiting for them. Scores upon scores of warriors, of all races, genders, cultures and ethnicities, stood in stone silence in the valley, prepared to lay the beatdown on everyone that stood in their way.

“…Did we have a plan for this?” shouted Starstorm.

“Uh, yeah, we just fight our fucking way through here!” said Sin. “Everyone ready to die yet?” There was a collective shaking of heads, combined with a few instances of piddling. “Glad to hear. Let’s go!”

The forces of RPGC charged forwards, ready to meet their end at their adversaries’ hands…

And suddenly found themselves standing before the gates of Valhalla itself, the untold armies far behind them. A wave of total confusion swept through the ranks, as friend and not-so-friend alike tried to make sense of what the hell had just happened. Their answer soon came…in the form of a near-dead Wilfredo Martinez, gasping and choking for air, his body looking like it had been crushed by a falling grand piano. Nel screamed her uncle’s name and rushed forward, seemingly worsening the situation by locking him in a deep, desperate hold.

“Wil! What the fuck happened?!” shouted Crotanks.

Wil choked a bit before he answered. “Had to…teleport you here. The…The Gatekeepers…augmented the Warp spell…Too much. Just…too damn…much…”

“Alright, as charming as this all is, we can’t wait for those guys back there to figure out what happened,” said Sin. “Everyone, run inside! We’re far from done here!”

At first, no one moved, too busy trying to find some way to help Wil. Finally, Weiila walked forward, kneeling next to the near-death sage. “Nel…I need your help. Everyone else, just listen to Sinistral. We didn’t come this far just to get our asses kicked.” With a slow nod, everyone acknowledged their still pint-sized goddess and charged into Valhalla itself.

Lone Wolf gently nudged the still-catatonic Galloway, finally knocking him out of his frozen pose. “Kai Lord, we have to talk.”

THE END OF PART 111

Next time: Everyone converges on one spot! RPGCers fight the Valkyries AND the Norse gods! Mox sneaks in from behind! And waffles are tasty, but be mindful of those little holes or you’ll be covered in syrup, right before the day that will define the rest of your career!

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:37pm

The Final Saga part 112: The Most Disappointing Episode Ever
(aka Ragnarok Part 4)
By d_Galloway

The RPGCers suddenly found themselves standing before a large army of pissed-off Norse gods, armed with all manner of weapons and armor. The mere mortals quickly found themselves hopefully outmatched, trapped in a conflict they had no real hope of surviving. All they could do was…

(Footage too cool to show. Sorry.)

A trio of valkyries rushed down one of Valhalla’s many halls, hurrying to join the continuing conflict. As they passed a golden statue of Odin and Freya, they missed the demonic being hiding in the shadows, eyes hungry for blood and power. Once he was sure he was safe, Mox emerged from behind the statue, silently admiring its workmanship and beauty as he did so.

Once he was certain nobody else was coming, the demon rushed down the hallway, a monstrous fiend on a mission…

GG Crono crawled away from the battle, clutching his massively open chest wound. Darkness Beckon’s lifeless body fell in front of him, seemingly crushed by a large number of warhammer strikes. To his side, Sinistral fell, impaled with over a dozen arrows. For the first time since this war began, GG Crono thought, we were losing. Badly.

“Weiila…where are you?” he coughed. A sword through the neck was his swift response.

Lone Wolf threw the Book of the Magnakai on the table, while a confused Galloway stood in the back at watched. “Galloway, RPGC is doomed. They have foolishly rushed into Valhalla.”

“WHAT?!” shouted Galloway. He pulled out his sword so quickly his body twirled in a full circle. “Come on! I’ve got a spear in the gut to pay back!”

Lone Wolf punched Galloway across the face, knocking the already disoriented saiyan hard against the floor. “No, you idiot! You have no choice but to face Naar now!”

“Are you crazy?! I’d-”

“Die? Most likely. But together, we might have a chance. Otherwise, the multiverse will be doomed. Face the truth, Galloway. RPGC has fallen. Our one chance to turn everyone back was ruined by Martinez’s bravado. Your friends are dead, and Naar will soon remain unopposed.”

The spark of truth finally hit Galloway. Holding back his tears, he pulled himself from the floor, readied the Sommerswerd, and moved to approach Lone Wolf. As soon as he had taken two steps, however, an enormous flash of brilliantly bright light struck both figures, leaving them blind and dazed…

Valkyrie Esker moved to engage Lenneth; however, another Valkyrie quickly cut her in half. Tyr grabbed kiro’s bazooka and fired it right into her head, obliberating the entire top half of her body. Zero was dismembered in an unusually quick fashion. A large hole was smashed straight through Orakio’s torso. The blood and guts quickly filled the great halls of Valhalla, signalling the end of the invaders.

From his nearby perch, Loki watched in amusement.

From another nearby perch, Mox watched in a jealous rage.

Nel could hear the panicked screams emerging from within Valhalla itself. She often found herself thinking about rushing in to help, to do anything to stop her uncle’s friends from being slaughtered by the droves. But every time her attention waned, Weiila quickly snapped her back to the task at hand. Wilfredo Martinez still lay on the cold floor, hovering dangerously near death.

“Damn it, what’s wrong?!” shrieked Weiila. “I’ve tried every spell I know, used every inch of my power, and it’s not working!”

“Weiila…maybe it’s because you’re…”

Weiila leaped at Nel like a vicious tiger, pining her to the floor with unnatural strength. “A child?! Was that it, you bitch! I’m not a damn kid, I’m a fucking adult! I’m in the prime of my life! I’ve never felt as powerful as now! And now, one of my best friends is dying and I…and I…” Weiila’s moment of phsycial power was gone, and in its place was realization and emotional destruction. She fell back to Wil, clutching his chest and bawling. “I…can’t do anything…”

Nel was about to say something, when she heard what sounded like a woman screaming for dear life. Only this time, instead of coming from the battle, it was coming from above them…

Merlin was bent into a human pretzel before having an axe split his skull. A thousand dagger blades tore into Wilfredo 2. Starstorm was melted into a pile of bloody goo. Mabatsekker’s legs were torn off like drumsticks. Heaven Soldier was impaled with his own swords. PC Glenton was ripped in half vertically.

Alternate Poke suddenly landed next to the two girls and near-dead mage, his body leaving a humerous crater in the shape of his outline. In his hands was a copper orb, about the size of a baseball. Nel helped pull him to his feet, while Weiila still uselessly clinged onto Wil. “Mr. Pokefreak!” said Nel. “Are you all right?”

“I’ll live, unfortunately,” said Alternate Poke. He looked long and hard at the sobbing angel child. “Weiila…I have something for you…”

Weiila slowly raised her head, her blurry vision barely registering the orb Alternate Poke held. “He…said this would hange everything. Something about undoing Odin’s damage.”

Weiila took the orb with trembling hands, her fingers running over its smooth surface. There were small markings covering every inch of its circumfrence, symbols that seemed strangely familiar, as if they were from…

Her mood suddenly shot from pitiful right up to scared shitless. “No…NO…NO!!!” She tried to throw the orb away, tried to get it out of her hands somehow, but for whatever reason she was unable to let go. Small cracks suddenly appeared across the orb’s shiny surface, carving a brightly-lit path. Before Alternate Poke or Nel could respond, all of the Heavens were bathed in a sea of light.

Weiila awoke in a realm of pure nothingness. There was only a pervading whiteness, a bright aura that seemed to surround her from every possible dimension. She looked down upon herself, suddenly realizing she was once again an adult. If this was all the orb did, then…

“Hello, Weiila.”

She raised her head in shock. Standing before her was another young woman, clothed in an angelic white robe and golden rope belt. She also had a pair of angel wings, which fluttered in a slow, natural motion behind her. She returned Weiila’s gaze with a distant, forlorn glance.

Weiila cleared her throat, uttering the first thing that came to mind at this moment. “Anja, I presume?”

THE END OF PART 112

Next time: A new goddess enters the fray. Can she save Wil? Save the day? Stop the bay? Kick the hay? Stop the say? Duck the fay? Muck the lay? F-
a shotgun blast is heard. Weiila enters, holding a smoking sawed-off
Weiila: No, we’re not doing that.

PC_Glenton · June 13, 2019, 11:37pm

Galloway… always nice to see you continue. Don’t lose faith, we are still reading.

d_Galloway · June 13, 2019, 11:37pm

Okay, the chapter is…finally done.

The archive update will be finished this week or next. After that, I’m aiming for bimonthly updates.