The chain letter thingee thread

It’s “to”.

I refuse to try it, on the principle that nothing on the internet should be hard or time-consuming.

God, I hate chain letters. One day, I’ll send one myself. :stuck_out_tongue:

"If you receive an email entitled “Badtimes,” delete it
immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will
also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on
your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD’s
you attempt to play-- except Yanni CD’s. With them it doubles
the volume.

It will automatically download kiddie porn to your hard drive and
then notify the authorities.

It will re-calibrate your refrigerator’s coolness settings so all
your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

It will program your phone auto dial to call only your
mother-in-law’s number.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

It will drink all your good beer and replace it I.C. Light.

It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
expecting company.

It will talk nasty about your mother.

Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton
fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your
back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card-- the
only card stripe it didn’t demagnetize.

It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way
that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs
to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings
which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the “Badtimes” message is opened in a Windows 95 environment,
it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer
plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses
and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole

It will replace all your luncheon meat with beef tongue.

It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it
to smell like dill pickles-- but, on the plus side, they’re
kosher dills.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to
behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

These are just a few signs of infection. Beware." 8D

Don’t waste your time.

You made baby Jesus cry.

Sorry ;_;

Originally posted by Dragon Tear
Sorry ;_;

They were talking about the original chain letter. :stuck_out_tongue:

Originally posted by Cybercompost
They were talking about the original chain letter. :stuck_out_tongue:

Yeah, you’re was kewl.

I never bother with these things anymore. It’s too time consuming and I’m too lazy to do it anyway.

Call me superstitious, but I retract my prior statement about this after actually giving it a shot.

blink I got that in my mailbow like yesterday… Argh! kills it annoying…

I tried it once, but the person I put in for the one that turned out to be “the one you love” was already someone else’s girlfriend. So much for that, I guess.

One single thing was true for me. =P

And what was that?

I like chain letters as much as the guy who wrote the below chain letter does…

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor fucking 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by every Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of fucking bullshit.

So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Ceaser in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

Fuck them!

If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something mildly fucking amusing. I’ve seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a Nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I don’t fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it’s your own unpopularity.


Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)

Make a wish!!!

Keep Scrolling

No, really, go on and make one!!!

Oh please, they’ll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!

Not that, you pervert!!


Wasn’t that fun? :slight_smile:
Hope you made a great wish :slight_smile:

Now, to make you feel guilty, here’s what I’ll do. First of all, if you don’t send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.

It’s true! Because, THIS letter isn’t like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here’s how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.

*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house. Thanks!!! Good Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy’s life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.

Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!

Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.

So this is how it works… Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.

This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

Chain Letter Type 4

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.
Send it to all your friends.


A friend is someone who is always at your side.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you’ve been eating catfood.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes.

A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you’ve soiled yourself.

A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life.

A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.

A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn’t speak much English…no, sorry that’s the cleaning lady.

A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don’t, you’ll never have sex ever again!

The point being? If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it’s funny, send it on. Don’t piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who’s been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per
letter he’ll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you’ll end up like Miranda. Right?

Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you’ll find all your knickers missing tomorrow morning!

… That’s awesome. :smiley:

Sephiroth Eternal knows too much! He must be eliminated!

A bunch of things came true, and a bunch of things had ominous overtones. BUT. I have studied and read, that much of the success of magic and superstition have more to do with the power of people believing in it, than any inherent truths in the superstition. Love potions, for instance, have worked because the person administering them believes in their power - and so is more open with his/her feelings, less afraid that the other person won’t love them back; and very often all that is needed is that lack of fear. That’s just one example.

I think this chain letter is another example of that. Oh well. Whether or not it’s a fair gauge of the future I’ll have to wait and see. But I’m not actually going to send it to anybody so, oh well. I didn’t really make the wish that I wanted desperately to come true.

-Mazrim Taim

Edit: This doesn’t mean to disparage magic or superstition - because I did say, they do work - but rather, their success is due to the power of belief - which can be EXTREMELY powerful. Think about it. And you’ll start to believe in magic too.