Something weird I wrote

A poem ^^ I wrote it in german, so the translation actually sucks but oh well. Let’s see if anyone can figure it out anyway. Oh and Mabo? criticism plz. :open_mouth:

Die Geliebte der Nacht

Ihr Atem einer Goettin gleich
Ihr Antlitz Perlenschimmer
Die Nacht sei ihrer Hoffnung Zimmer
Ihres zarten Hauches reich.

Ihr sanfter Kuss ziert still und leise
Ihrer Liebsten dunkles Kleid.
Sie klagt ihr unsterbliches Leid
Mit heller Stimme ihrer Weise.

Sie stirbt seit Anbeginn der Zeit
Und wird wieder geboren.
Doch eins hat sie noch nie verloren:
Die Liebe ihrer schoenen Maid.

Denn eins, und sei’s auch so verletzt
Dass Meer und Berge untergehn
Und Mensch und Tier das Lichtlein sehn
Die Hoffnung, sagt man, stirbt zuletzt.
–Dragon Tear

Sucky translation:

The lover of the night (Moonlight :P)

Her breath a goddess even (can you even say that? :P)
her (insert archaic word for face here) pearlshine
the night be the chamber of her hopes
rich of her delicate (insert nice word for breath here <.<;)

Her soft kiss decorates silently
her lover’s dark dress
she mourns her undying pain
with light voice in her song.

She dies since the beginning of time
And gets reborn again.
But there’s one thing she’ll never lose:
The love of her beautiful maiden.

Because one thing, and may it be hurt so badly
That the sea and mountains will decline
And men and animals will see the light
The hope, one says, will die last.

…god this sounds so damn stupid translated @_@ and I shoulda put this in the poetry thread. Whoops. Or maybe yet, I shouldnt have tried to post/ translate it in the first place.
…weiila, please close? ^^;; Or I’ll delete the post, whatever is more convenient…

…Considering my lousy german-- It’s pretty good from what I understood of it; Even without the limited translation.

((Ihr Antlitz Perlenschimmer <-- Her face, pearlshine ((?))

On the translation: Aside from the first line, which is apparently didn’t translate the way you intended, it is really quite nice.

I agree. My GErman is rusty at best and from what I gathered (translation included) it’s quite awesome. Well done DT :slight_smile: