What? You’re not interested in finding out what happens to Lightning after she got sucked into that timehole at the end of XIII-1 (because that totally happened at the end of the game and wasn’t just retconned in; totally)? Or going on a magical adventure with Lightning’s little sister Serah-chan and her magical time-traveling companion [STRIKE]Kingdom Hearts’ Sora[/STRIKE] Noel Christ as they save [STRIKE]magical future seeing girl who has a shorter life expectancy than a fruit fly[/STRIKE] Yuel-chan from the evil [STRIKE]totally not-a-Sephiroth-clone wielding Soul Edge and wearing a George Clooney-style Batsuit and is totally immortal, nigh-invulnerable, carries the heart of god in him (that acts as a killswitch for the universe if anything should ever happen to it; EVAR!!!), and can totally turn into a Bahamut that can then turn into 3 Bahamuts at once and at will[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]Gaius Balthar[/STRIKE] Caius Ballad? Not even how they completely cock it up and the universe gets Time Kompressed and now Lightning has to not only come back from the dead (because Caius is such a badass that he totally off-screened her; unless you act now and buy the DLC where you get to attempt to rock him as Lightning and yet still fail miserably until you finally do beat him in which case you still lose horribly because hes cereally that awesome dudes) but also become a full on magical girl that you can play dress up with her and she gets to go on magical adventures to save her friends and with their powers combined kicks God’s ass and sends everyone to Earth and she lives happily ever after!?
Man, if none of that sounds interesting to you, then I have nothing more to say beyond “I think we’ve found videogaming’s Twilight.”, but instead of long blank stares into the distance where nothing happens, you have long stretches of pressing forward on the control stick and mashing X or L2.
