Safe Halloween Tips

A Halloween Safety Public Service Announcement

As we all prepare for the upcoming Halloween season, please take a few minutes to read some simple rules to help keep everyone safe.

  1. Don’t assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.

  2. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.

  3. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

  4. Don’t go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out!

  5. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else’s voice.

  6. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone.

  7. Don’t have sex. Especially if you’ve noticed a few of your friends are missing!

  8. As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.

  9. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

  10. If you’re searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it’s just the cat, don’t stand there sighing with relief, GET THE HELL OUT!

  11. If appliances start operating by themselves, don’t check for short circuits; JUST GET OUT!

  12. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

  13. If you find a town which looks deserted, there’s probably a good reason for it. Don’t stop and look around.

  14. Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you’re doing.

  15. If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely ambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

  16. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

  17. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you’re in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

  18. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had 3/4 of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.

  19. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example:chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

  20. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion.

I’ll remember that. ^^

I’ll break them all. MwoHoHoHo!

Well, that accounts for just about everything supernatural, but what about stuff caused by aliens? I mean, they had to account for some of the weird Hallowen stuff, right?

That made me lol. :stuck_out_tongue:

Don’t forget losing amazing amounts of clothing while tripping, and when it manages to get a swing almost in.

I’m sorry, I dont get the joke. WEll, I don’t play pnp type stuff, so…

What the hell are you talking about?

This is all stuff from horror movies.

I’d make sure the monster is dead. I wouldn’t do the stupid little bend over and look at it thing. I’d empty a clip or two into its head. That is, of course, if it is a humanoid monster/killer as opposed to something creepy like the thing from Jeepers Creepers.

hmm…time to head off to the relatives…or start melting down all the silver into bullets, carving stakes out of ash wood and gether the garlic.

Even YOU’D die from it, Your Highness.

Oh god, Jeepers Creepers was horrible. I saw the first one last year and it just…blew hard. Aunt Jemima’s a psychic? WTF?

These lists always forget to mention:

  1. Turtle-necks are your best friend, especially if you’re living/taking shelter in a creepy old mansion overrun with bats

Or this one:

If the girl you’re traveling with suddenly starts wearing a choker/scarf/turtleneck and is very pale, expose her to sunlight immediately.

[QUOTE=Evil_Dave]17. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: NilbogQUOTE]

::dekar!:: “It’s goblin spelled backwards!”

You’re in trouble now, ClothHat.

Ravenloft, anyone?

I believe I would be staying away from Silent Hill. Oh god.

But good advice =D

Don’t forget to board up your bottem floor and stay on the top!

:kissy:

Heres another good one.

  1. If you start hearing an eerie theme music that sounds like jiffy pop then you should commit sepuku where you stand unless you wish to get an arror in the head followed by being impailed by several javelins.

You killed it Cait. You killed it.

Eden, Silent Hill isn’t that bad a place to be in. Considering all the demented craziness was just hallucinations by each of the 4 heroes of Silent Hill.