RPGC's RPG Clichés List

Originally posted by Kor
Resale Anomaly. Really strong/rare items usually have a resale value of 1 for some reason

Read the other things before posting. -_-

Also, you posted one of the rules twice.

Super Evolution

In almost every game, you start as someone who is just a little stronger than most people and finish the game as the ubber destruction machine.

Fighting helps your mind unlocking the secretes buried in itself

Player Characters mostly leanr magic by winning battles, not studying.

Originally posted by Ren
I don’t think we’re talking 'bout the same game… Or my memory is really sucking these days. Maybe FF4 for PSX has different prices I guess… When I played FF$ on SNES, I remember paying 100k for an ether. I don’t remember going into a store which would sell elixirs.

Humingway Cave, on the Moon.

And apparently, I was thinking of Ethers in Chrono Triggr. Ethers in FFIV cost 10,000 gil, I guess. :fungah:

No, it’s really 100,000.00 gp. I put that amount in cabins which are way better into recovering MP. I don’t abuse magic in battles unless they’re uniques, so it’s quite OK for me.

  1. The “He’s Not Quite Dead, Sir!” Rule [a.k.a. The Seifer-Gilgamesh Rule]:

No matter how many times you beat him up or how severely you do so, you can NEVER kill the main villain’s primary henchman. After the fight, he’ll run away, (even if you won the fight by using some “Banish to another dimension” spell or something. Huh?)

  1. The “And Now You Die, Mr. Bond!” Rule, a.k.a. The Beatrix Rule:

Fortunately, the opposite is also true: the main henchman can never kill you off no matter how badly they kick your ass. For some reason they are content to knock you down to 1 HP, taunt you (usually with something along the lines of “you are not ready” or “you are not worthy”) laugh at you, and walk off, leaving you to die. And by “die” I mean recover fully and come looking for revenge, more determined than ever. Also, no matter how lethal and punishing their regular attacks are, their “Ultimate” attack will always knock you down to exactly 1 HP (even when their normal attacks can kill you rather easily).

  1. The 1960’s Batman Villain Rule:

Whenever the villains set a trap for the hero and they fall into it, they will ALWAYS escape it. But they will NEVER do so while the villain is present (maybe they don’t want to hurt his feelings after he clearly put so much time and effort into these elaborate Rube Goldbergian traps?)

  1. The Black And White Rule of Villainous Sidekicks:

All henchmen/sidekicks of the villain are either horrendously and comically inept and weak OR obscenely superpowerful and dangerous.

The radius of monster strength rule:

No matter where you go, you’ll always end up being just strong enough to defeat the monsters there.

  1. The “Programmers, Know Thy Target Demographic” Rule:

All female characters are irresistably attracted to the male lead and will fall for him by game’s end. This includes other party members and, eventually, major female henchmen on the villain’s side, too.

  1. Selective Revisionism of Obsolete Science, Rule #1:

When dealing with magic spells, Lightning and Ice are two of the four cardinal Elements. Wind and Earth are not.

10.) Selective Revisionism of Obsolete Science, Rule #2:

Ice and Water are always separate elements. Always. This makes no sense, really, when you think about it.

11.) Selective Revisionism of Obsolete Science, Rule #3:

When dealing with relighting orbs or crystals or whatever [to save the world, naturally], Earth and Wind suddenly become 2 of the 4 Elements again.

I am adding most of these quotes in, with the exception being Kor, as his quotes are word for word from ‘The GIA’. I am making our verison of the cliche list, not taking selected parts from other people’s list. And Kaiser, please post a fixed verison of that second entry, it too long and has mulitply cliche in it.

“Thumbs for Fingers”

Enemies with gun always barely your ear/hand/feet/flying pagoda with their bullets, which explains the pitiful damage.

ADDITION : Guns can kill you in cutscenes

ADDITION 2 : If one of the party members has a gun, the gun will not suck beyond human comprehension

EXCEPTION : Persona 2 : EP, where guns suck no matter if you have the Legendary Gun.

The Slime Rule
The weakest monster in the game is almost always some kind of slime.

The Selective Toughness Rule
In battle, you’ll be pelted by earthquakes, floods, explosions, hurricanes, meteor showers, black holes, and more. Out of battle, you die from one measly sword or knife through the chest.

The Ignorance is Bliss Rule
For some reason, noone seems to even NOTICE the yetis, dragons, demons, reformed villians, ect ect in your party, much less panic over them.

All right Rirse, cleaned it up. That one is now three.
12. Phallic Symbol Rule, mark 2:

Swords are always the most powerful weapon type. You can always inflict more damage with a sword than with a knife, whip, staff, spear, hand grenade, machine gun, bazooka, Laser Death Ray, et cetera.

  1. Martial Law of Gender Roles:

Swords are for boys, Staves/Rods are for girls.

  1. The “I didn’t know you could use it to do THAT!” Rule:

There’s always at least one character who has made a lethal weapon out of something extremely silly, like a megaphone or a paintbrush or an umbrella.

  1. The “There’s a Serious Consumer Demand For This?” Rule:

Pretty much every weapon shop will carry an infinite supply of weapons-grade paintbrushes, megaphones, etc. to suit this hero’s peculiar needs. Even the…

  1. The Extremely Driven Salesman Rule:

Even in the deepest levels of the darkest dungeons, opposite sides of parallel dimensions, in the middle of barren wastelands on post apocalyptic worlds, there is STILL a shopkeeper hawking weapons, armor, and/or items, apparently on the off chance that a band of heroes might come along some time this millenium.

  1. The Vince Lombardi (“What we’re going to do is create a SEAL here, and a SEAL here!”) Rule:

Evil Wizards / Demons / Supervillians never die; they just get sealed away by the previous party of Great Legendary Heroes until your crew comes along to deal with 'em.

  1. Status Anomaly Double Standard Rule:

Status Ailment Spells [poison, blindness, silence, petrify, sleep, et cetera] virtually ALWAYS work when the enemy casts them. They virtually NEVER work when you cast them.
19. The Phyrric Victory Correlary:

Status Ailment spells will work in your favor…when you’re so much stronger than the enemy that you can wipe them out in one hit and derive no tactical advantage from casting said Status Ailment spell on the monster.

The Repelent Fabric

Monsters will never attack the group while the adventurers sleep in a tent.

Unique Weapons Are NOT Unique

You’ll find unique weapons by the same name in many different games (I think Masamune is the most common).

Questors are Lazy Bums

It’s very common to receive quests from creatures that could snap your neck as easily as they’d breathe. There’s always some obscure reason as to why you’re the only one who can do that.

Hidden Character, Crouching Development

If a character is not in play for a while, he/she will be way more powereful when he/she returns.

Edit: You Are Always the Last One to Know

a) Just about everybody in town to whom you talk knows somehting useful about your quest.

b) When there’s something important to be known, the group characters will always be the last ones to hear the news.

The Murphy’s Law of Random Encounters
When you’re trying to fight to level up or get a rare item that a certain monster drops, you’ll hardly ever get into random encounters.
HOWEVER, when you’re trying to get from Point A to Point B as quickly as possible, you’ll get them every other step.

Lightning Spells Have That Enhancement From Gurps: Doesn’t Affect User +20%

If you throw a lightning on someone, you won’t take damage even if it’s underwater or he’s holding you (entangle, etc)n someway.

<b> The 5th Space Dimension Rule </b>

If you have a transformation skill, it doesn’t matter if it helps you morph into a 30 feet tall dragon, you still can use it in a 10 feet tall cave.

<b> The Floating Fortress Rule </b>

It doesn’t matter what world, what age, what enemy, what people or what technology exists, the big bad guy or the big good guy somehow ALWAYS manage to get a 1km X 1km mass of solid rock to float in the sky.

<b> The Absolute Uselessness of the Floating Fortress Rule </b>

Point one: Even though the named fortress posses laser guns, cannons, A bombs or the ability to wipe out anything in a 20miles radius with one spell, you can just fly, circle and even paint graffiti on it without disturbing it.

Point two (Correlative with The need for science Rule): Even though the point flying is to be unreachable, that weird scientist can fashion a ship for you that can get you in there for a minute. Especially thanks to the absolute lack of defensive equipment.

<b> The Murphy Law of Dungeon Exploring </b>

Whenever you find a split path, the right one is ALWAYS the one with traps, enemies, twists, turns, bottomless pits and the occasional 60 feet tall legendary guardian demon.

<b> The Hero Haircut Rule </b>

Somehow, in the middle ages, centuries before the invention of hair gel, your hero seems to support an eternal, unchanging and gravity ignorant haircut.

At the same time, it doesn’t matter if your party gets attacked by a flaming tornado, the cute priestess’s hair is still fine and dandy.

<b> The “How the hell did they get here?” Rule </b>

Even though you had to fight trough underground tunnels, fly on birds and cross the ocean inside a whale, some powerless peasants that you found in that other continent seem to have gotten to the new town before you.

<b> The Useless Companions Rule </b>

Whenever you are part of a large army or something, EVERYONE else in the group is absolutely useless and usually gets killed.

The Helpful Pawn Rule:

Generally the party somehow, in some way, ends up accomplishing the task your enemy wants such as breaking the seal on some ancient evil or grabbing the legendary item only to have it taken by them.

The Rusty Sword Law:

You know that worthless rusty old sword you found in the stone/cavern/whale’s stomach? It’s always just happens to be the legendary sword in disguise.

We Don’t Need Any Freaking Oxygen:

Ever noticed that the pcs don’t have to breathe? They can walk around on the moon or in underwater cities and be perfectly fine. Who cares if there’s no oxygen- they’ll be fine!

20.) The Unibomber Rule:

There’s always one super advanced society with a huge technological edge over every other society in the world, and it is always brought to catastrophic ruin before game’s end.

21.) The “Logan’s Run” Principle:

This heroic band of legendary world savers and demon slayers are always either teenagers or young adults under the age of 30.

22.) The Tellah’s Exception Correlary:

Except for the 1 token old wizard / sage guy, but he usually dies midquest, often sacrificing himself for the good of the others and/or passing the torch of great-hero-ness.

23.) The “Who The Hell Left This Here and Why?” Rule:

No matter how improbable and illogical the dungeon in question would make it seem, (i.e. a giant volcano, a cavern on the moon, an inter dimensional void), you’ll still manage to find a slough of tidy treasure chests loaded with powerful weapons and other goodies. Who’s running around leaving all this good shit in the middle of a frickin’ Volcano?

  1. The Black Box Correlary:

Treasure Chests can stand up to any conditions with no deterioration whatsoever. Hot lava? The extreme pressure of the deep sea? The vaccum of outer space? NO PROBLEM!

<b> The Merchant Invincibility Union Rule </b>

Whenever a town gets attacked, burned, frozen or just wiped out, if there is at least 1 survivor, that guy is a merchant who curiously managed to keep his wares intact.

I updated the list again, even so I goofed up on one of the cliche names, but meh.

Here’s one more for ya.

The Rule of Cuteness (AKA, the Chookie/Dragobo rule.)
Every party needs at least one cute creature. Said creature is either completely useless (Example:Jogurt) or extremely powerful once built up properly(Example:Peco).