Granted. But it’s only when you wear your ninja mask so you you die when the other ninjas find out who you are and get you with your mask off.
I wish I had a private island.
Granted. Your consciousness is instantly transplanted back in time into the body of the best ninja ever, a fellow who lived in Japan several centuries back. Your/his ninja skills are without peer. His unparralled skill, however, made other ninja hate and resent him. This also made him too dangerous a potential assassin for the Shogun and other Japanese feudal lords to allow him to live long.
He was hired for a job by a mid-level feudal lord; the assignment was in fact a setup, leading him to an ambush in which he was killed by other ninja all too happy to take down the “king of the mountain” so to speak. Though his skill was superior to any one of the other ninja, their cumulative efforts were too great to overcome. Especially now that your inexperienced consciousness was in charge of his body. He died quickly, and silently, and painfully.
And due to the granting of your wish, his fate is also yours.
EDIT: aw fark. hold on.
Granted. You are on board a cruise liner when it is struck in a freak accident by another liner. Both boats sink. You cling to a piece of flotsam that manages to keep you afloat until you come to a small, uncharted island. You are the only survivor of the wreckage. The bad news is you have no foodstuffs, flares, or any other supplies from the ship. The island is virtually barren of food, save for a couple coconut trees (think like that stereotypical Far Side comic island). The worse news is due to hurricane weather, the rescue team had to call off the search for survivors long before finding you or the island, and without flares or a radio or sufficient raft-building wood, you is marooned for the rest of your natural life.
The good news is you have the island all to yourself. It is, after all, the private island you wished for.
I wish that the people on this forum who indulge of this game have a better sense of irony when playing this game and grasp the core concept that a Monkey Paw wish is supposed to grant you your wish in such a way that it’s just about the worst thing that can happen, rather than the mentally lazy “your wish is granted and everything’s going well but then you get aids and die or you’re hit by a truck” or something.
But for the sake of the thread and the monkey paw game, however, I wish I had a new and better job.
Granted. Your hired as the lead technition for NASA and are about to make a major breakthrough on jet propulsion, when the Russians realize what you are about to create an believe it will cause them to be bypassed in the world of technology. The hunt you do and you are forced to flee for several years before dieing at the hands of their lead torturer, who is quite cruel.
I wish that I had a personal chef who made the best version of every food imaginable.
clearly the answer involves you catching aids
i wish i was immune from aids
Granted. But you contract every other disease imaginable. Doctors, who want to study your body for it’s AIDS cure, keep you alive, though every moment is unbearable pain and misery.
I wish I am a kung fu master.
You spend years of training to become the best Kung Fu master in the world. You can do feats which no other man can approach. You can defeat 100 men in unarmed combat and have beaten tigers and bears with your bare hands. Unfortunately, one night while traveling home you come across a man mugging a woman. In the attempt to save her life, you’re shot, something your Kung Fu cannot help you with. Your internal injuries cause you to bleed to death over a period of several days.
I wish I was the Flash!
Granted, you become the flash from some sort of chemical spill, you go so fast you die.
I wish there were more places to hang my hat
Granted. You have as many homes you ever wanted in any part of the world to hang your hat. You also have just as many wives and at least twice as many children. By some twist of fate, whatever lucky streak you’ve had going on that prevented any of your families from learning about each other has ended. Your wives mob you, pull your wallet through your balls and each take a turn at slowly castrating you.
I wish I was Superman.
Granted, You are the last remaining son of krypton, your parents send you to earth as a baby, and you land on earth. But you suck at playing this game.
I wish you were better at it.
Granted. But I end up playing even worse than before.
I wish I could play the guitar well.
Granted. Your mother buys you a guitar for your birthday knowing you got good at it, but she bought a ZOMBIE GUITAR and it EATS YOU!
So lame. -_- OK… I wish I could come up with a better reply to Lex’s wish.
Granted. You reply, “You become a master of the guitar, however, when you play, no one, not even yourself, can hear it.”
Unfortunately, because of this, Lex becomes infuriated with you to such a point, that he takes up hypnotism in a desperate bid to get some payback. He then comes to your home and puts you in a trance, afterward leaving you under the illusion that you are a thumbtack.
You spend the rest of your life stuck halfway into your bedroom wall.
I wish I was immune to the curse of the Monkey Paw.
Granted. Unfortunately no one else in the world is and they all eventually die as a result of their wishes, you are left alone in a world targeted by hordes of martian invaders.
I wish i could think of a wish
Granted. You think of a wish that changes your life and those close to you for the better. But you can’t find the words to describe it, so it never leaves the tip of your tongue.
I wish I was a game programmer; but not for Electronic Arts.
Electronic Arts will buy out the studio you work for a day after you get the job.
I wish for a good energy alternative to oil
Granted. Antimatter is intoduced as feul, howwerful weapon and it leads to the destructver it is also an increadibly poeion of the world as we know it.
I wish that th curse skips me and goes onto the next poster.
Granted. But the the next posted wishes for ther curse to stay on you forever.
I wish for vyse the legend to have the curse forever (like you didn’t see that coming)
Granted. vyse the legend is cursed by being forever haunted by the spirit of HaitokuHonoo after a secret government lab near HaitokuHonoo’s location explodes sending spirit trapping mad science flying everywhere.
I wish people would stop beginning every post in this thread with the word “granted”.
As you wish. Instead of seeing the word “Granted”, your eyes now turn it into “As you wish”.
I wish Microsoft would go bankrupt.
Granted. But Bill Gates reveals his hidden gold pile that he hid in George Bush’s library.
I wish I didn’t post in this thread.