Revival of the Monkey Paw thread

May I revive this thread cos itsh awxesommme… :fungah:

Why not just start a new one instead?

Because people will flame me and the mods will say I cant and post links to it and I need MOD CONFIRMATION MAAAAAAN!

but you did anyway

:spam: p:unch::
What the hell are you talking about?I just want a response! Damn it all! :bowser:

No need for such language. Just continue it here or something. Quote the last two posts with a link to the original thread and just continue on your merry way.

…Okay…hold on a second.

The way this game works is someone posts a wish, the next person to post has to twist the wish into a terrible monkey paw style version of the original wish, and then posts their wish for the next person.
Edit: Oh yeah, and don’t post in between every other post, that’s lame. :stuck_out_tongue: <—Spaz and Pierson, this means you :stuck_out_tongue:
Double Edit: If you’re not familiar with the story of the monkey paw then I suppose you could go here:

I will post the first wish …I wish I was irresistaby attractive to the opposite sex.

Granted. You contract Aids and die. Haha.

Do to lack of actually wanting anything at the moment, I’ll make a bs wish. I wish I could fly or something.

You’re irresitibly attractive to women… 90 year old, overweight women with AIDS, syphillis, and herpes.

Every time you get near a magnet, you switch sex.

I wish (insert poster name other than me here) would cease to exist.

everyone will cese to exhist, including your FAVORATE ENTERTAINER!!!

I wish I had a dollar

You find a dollar and catch the gay. Enjoy your aids.

I wish i was a zombie.

You will be a zombie in the movie “House of the Dead”

I wish I had a car that ran on sunshine and happyness

Granted, but where you live is filled with clouds and sadness, and your car explodes due to depression, with you in it.

I wish I had some chocolate.

Granted, but since sunshine and happiness is in the eye of the beholder, it only runs when you are happy, and since some jerks have to make fun of you for having such a pansy car, you never are happy again.

EDIT: The chocolate is poisoned.

I wish I had an infinite amount of time in every day of the world, and they only ended when I said so.

Granted, but you get transported to a world where you suffer endless torment and cannot speak.

I wish I had a Mech.

Granted. It steps on you by accident.

I wish I had a million billion posts! :stuck_out_tongue:

Once you got a million posts, you’d die from happiness.

I wish Big Nutter would learn to spell gooder.

Granted. He now flames you with correct spelling.

I wish I could do better than a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a monkey wrench.

You become a epilepsy victim doing brain surgery with a monkey wrench.

I wish I was the best ninja ever!