Revamped Peldurol's Tale

Steve asked me to post this, cause he can’t, cause he’s teh banz0rd.

<center><b>Peldurol’s Tale</b>
~P R* O* L* O* G* U* E~</center>

<table align=“center” cellspacing=“750”>
Peldurol was what his friends called him. He was no different than them. He had flowing brown hair, but, surprisingly, no facial hair to speak of. It just didn’t grow on him. His legs bent to the back, and, also like his friends, were covered in a beautiful coat of fur. His fur was an array of brilliant hues of gold and brown. However beautiful they were, they were also a fearfully powerful force.
His hooves made loud clomping noises on the stone. As he moved on to the pine-needle thick forest ground, the sound changed from a clonk to a soft padding on the ground. The sound was all-to-familiar to him. It was almost like a lullaby it was so rythmic.
Peldurol’s life seemed perfect. He had a beautiful wife. A child on the way, and many great friends. His pipes were made from the oldest, and most recent fallen, tree in the forest. He found it lying there, desolate and unburdoned of life. He took it as a good omen, and carved a beautiful and sturdy set of pipes from its sturdiest parts. He refused to kill anything, whether it be flora or fauna, for food or goods. He was a model pacifist. He only ate from animals that had died a natural death.
He was making his way back to his hovel, back to his wife, when his life changed forever.
A bright streak tore across the sky towards the outer edge of the forest. His house was in the center of the forest. He ran as fast as he possibly could towards his home, but it was already too late. The huge object had already made its final descent into the forest. The ground tremored from the impact. The earthen paradise was ripped and torn asunder. The ground buckled under his feet, but still he continued on. The first few shockwaves began tearing their way through the green splendor.
Peldurol’s muscled hands flew up instinctively to his face to protect him from anything, but were of no use. The beautiful creature’s bones were shattered. His horns were shattered as well, and some of the pieces flew into the surrounding trees.
It didn’t end there for the poor creature. That was only the very first shockwave. The next two hit him with almost the same force, ripping his arms clean off at the elbow, sending the shards of bone into his chest. Large rocks flew all around him. One rock in particular caught his eye. It was the one he and his wife had carved their names in. The one everyone carved their names in when married. It pounded into his chest, sending him flying into the ground. His spine snapped after only a few moments on the ground. He had landed on a rock that was firmly implanted in the ground, unfortunately for him.
He layed there for hours, it seemed. Even after the blast, all he could do was lay there and think. Hope. Hope that his wife had somehow survived. Even as the last debris fell from the sky and hit him, he never moved. He had stopped feeling the pain long ago. All that was left was sorrow and wonder.
He was tired.
‘I’ve worked hard today. All I need… is a little… rest…’
He closed his eyes for the last time. He never opened them again. He never moved again. He never breathed again. His last breath escaped his body. He died that day, so very long ago.
No one survived the meteor crashing into the planet that day. His wife’s life, and even his son’s, were cut violently short. Not even the behemoths of the planet survived the drastic changes such a landing caused.
Peldurol knew this all in the instant after he closed his eyes. He didn’t know why. He didn’t know how. He knew. He saw the way his wife had died. It had been quick, painless. The only graceful way to go. His son’s followed shortly after, but, sadly, he wasn’t so lucky. His took longer, but like everyone else in the forest that day, he eventually died.
Peldurol wept for what felt like centuries. He wept through the rebirth of life on earth. He wept through the first appearance of apes. He only stopped his mourning when something caught his eye. It was a human being. He didn’t know how he knew that, either.
‘Do you like what you see, my child,’ a voice asked him.
He couldn’t believe it. After all that time alone, someone’s voice was heard. He couldn’t think of any answer except, ‘Yes… I do,’ the human’s face reminded him of his wife, and yet, something about her was wrong.
‘Too fucking bad,’ said the same voice, but something about it was different.
‘What,’ Peldurol asked, thrown off guard by the last comment
‘I said. Too. Fucking. Bad.’ the voice repeated.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re focused in on her too much. You’re blinded to how horrible she really is. She’s not your wife. Take your focus off of her face and see her true feelings.’ the voice scolded.
Peldurol began thinking about what the voice had told him, and his perspective of her began to shift and change. He finally saw what was different. She was killing things. Not only was she killing them, but killing them for fun rather than food. She was smiling as she slaughtered the animals, giving no heed to their cries.
‘Why does she do such terrible things,’ thought the horrorstruck creature
‘Why else? She loves it. She loves the blood. The screams. The feeling of blood on her,’ the voice gleefully told him.
‘I wish… I just wish she would stop! I want to stop her!’
‘Ah, now there’s something I can help you with,’ the voice said, kinder and softer, in a way.
‘You… who are you?’
‘I’m the one who you know as God,’ the voice answered, but then something else was said, only angrier, ‘Oh bullshit, it’s satan!’
‘I thought you two were seperate,’ he exclaimed, shocked.
‘We are. Like night and day, we are seperate but altogether the same. You ponder that… as well as your wish.’</table>

Whoa, thats awsome, dt, I didn’t know you write, keep up the good work.

Originally posted by Dragon Tear
Steve asked me to post this, cause he can’t, cause he’s teh banz0rd.


I’m hooked can’t wait till the next chapter :cool: keep up the good work

Yes, I will be sure to let Steve know this is even better then last time.

<center>Chapter 1
The Choice</center>

Peldurol thought about what the wish was for, exactly. He questioned himself about it over and over, always coming to the same conclusion. He wanted to stop the woman without killing her. But by the time he had finally made his decision, the woman had died of old age. She, like everyone else, was kicked in a hole by her tribe, to be forgotten quickly. Her kids went on to do just the same things she did. That’s when realization began to set in on the wandering spirit. Humans, as a whole, were a violent, deadly race of apes with better brain capacity. He didn’t know how, but he would stop them. He told himself over and over that <i>he would stop them</i>.
‘Well well,’ said that all-too-familiar voice, Satan, ‘I see you’ve made your decision.’
‘Yes, I have.’
‘You do know what it will cost you, right?’
‘No, I was unaware of any costs.’
‘I swear, you people on earth know <b>NOTHING</b>. The cost is your soul, as always.’
‘You don’t have to do that, Peldurol,’ said that heavenly voice of God.
‘Well, why not? You don’t have the power to do shit to stop the humans. I do,’ said the harsher of the two.
‘Stop. Both of you, please. I will think about it some more. Just… stop,’ Peldurol broke in.
The deities left him to think about his choice. His soul to stop the humans, or… whatever the other choice was. He was leaning towards the choice of giving his soul to stop the human beings from becoming even more destrucive creatures than they already are; however, if he were to choose to not give his soul, he could find out if the humans would learn about their ways and stop what they’re doing. He hoped for the latter.
As time slowly passed, he considered each of his choices. He could give his soul, his essence, his very being, to the dark lord, and stop the humans from eventually destroying the planet. Yes, he was actually leaning towards that. Yet, him sitting back and waiting for the planet to be raped by humans wasn’t a very good choice either.
Peldurol decided to take a break while thinking. He headed towards the forest that he had lived and died in. His world perspective changed to that of the crater created by the meteor. Trees had regrown all around it. It was faring pretty well since his last visit there, gods know how long ago. The thing he found funny was that there were no humans to be found around it for at least a mile. No one being too close to the forest… that thought kept him company. As Peldurol passed time-worn boulders and fallen trees, he noticed subtle changes that time had made. He saw rock formations that were only vaguely familiar. Minor things kept him from remembering just what they were. There was a bright flash of light in the distance, and then the floodgates of memory opened. It was storming when he and his wife first met… it all started coming back to him. Everything. Everything except… except something. What was it? He couldn’t tell. He passed his old stone. It was the one he always played his pipes on while waiting for his wife.
His wife! That’s what he had forgotten. He started looking for their favorite place, and the rest of it resurfaced in his head. Her hair, eyes, nose. Everything started coming back to him about her. He began navigating, no, remembering himself through the forest. Imagining it like it used to be, and getting through it that way. As he got closer and closer to their spot, it finally dawned on him.
He had forgotten his wife’s name. Of all the things to forget, he lost her name. The thing he found especially annoying was that he could remember no one’s name except his own. He’d actually forgotten his love’s name. He stopped where he was and looked around. He’d become lost. Hopelessly and annoyingly lost. He couldn’t think of anything he had remembered earlier. Peldurol started panicking before he realized that he was dead. All he had to do was think about floating, and away he went.
Peldurol decided against going to their spot for now, lest he soil it by not even knowing her name. As he flew up, he caught some movement in the corner of his “eye.” It was near the very edge of the former Forest of Satyr, he even remembered the forest name once he got out of it. Everything but her name came back again. He couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t able to remember her.
He realized he had become sidetracked, and decided to check out the movement. It had been too irregular to be a forest animal. He started moving towards the place the movement had been in. Before he got there, he noticed something in the forest. It was a beautiful beast with orange and black fur. He didn’t know its name, but he thought it looked extremely powerful. The teeth on it were sharper than any he had previously seen.
There were tiny mice running around below him as well. They were smaller than any he had seen before. One was running in the direction of a large spider web; it was caught in it and began struggling for freedom. The spider that owned the nest took its sweet time in wrapping the mouse up in its silken webbing. After that was finished, Peldurol once again realized he’d become sidetracked.
‘Okay. The… thing was over there,’ he thought.
He started up <i>yet again</i> for the place he was to search. As he watched the forest below, a few birds flew around along the top of the forest. It was more of a canopy than a top; however, little bits of light could reach in through the tops and give energy to any plants lucky enough to grow in the sparse rays of the sun.
Below him, a tree trunk cracked and fell, showering leaves everywhere. On its way down, Peldurol noted that it had recently been hit very very hard with something. It had also been hit in the middle of it, because it was split in two. It looked like lightning had struck it, noticeable burn marks indicated that.
Peldurol mentally shook his head. That was the <i>last time</i> he would let himself get sidetracked by the forest.
He started towards the forest floor, and began hearing a soft whump in the distance. He moved towards the sound. Shortly after the first sound, came yet another thud. Peldurol’s view came across a human. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he comprehended what the human was doing, and was completely horrified.
The human was murdering the tree. Plain and simple. He had a stick with a flat stone end on one side. On the same stone end, there was a highly sharpened edge. He was using the sharpened part to rip and tear apart the trunk of the tree. It let out a scream that only the forest could hear as it fell.
Peldurol let out a scream of anger and sadness, and charged at the human. He harmlessly bounced off and back to where he was before.
‘I’m very sorry you had to see that, Peldurol,’ said the soft voice.
‘Why is he doing such a horrible thing,’ Peldurol inquired.
‘Because he needs firewood, dumbass,’ said that familiarly annoying voice.
‘Why not use fallen branches,’ thought Peldurol.
‘He feels that a large fire is needed…’ said God.
‘No, he feels that bigass tiger he and his friends killed needs a large fire,’ laughed Satan.
As he said that, four other humans came along a long-unused trail carrying the proud beast he had seen earlier. Only now, it was covered in long cuts all along its body. Its fur was caked in blood.
‘So that’s a tiger,’ thought Peldurol, ‘No. This can’t be. There just cannot be death in the Forest of Satyr. It’s impossible.’
‘This isn’t your forest anymore, genius,’ Satan pointed out.
God ignored Satan’s comment, ‘It’s alright Peldurol. Just come with me. You will never have to see or think about this forest ever again,’
‘No… I don’t want to forget about it. I don’t want it to go away. I want them to stop! This is my forest,’ Peldurol, one pissed off spirit, yelled.
‘I tried to keep you from seeing it Peldurol. You resisted too hard. You looked away from the tiger, the mouse, all of the diversions I placed. Even the remembrance and forgetting of your wife’s name. All so you would not have to see this,’ God explained.
‘Why would I want to forget about and never see such a travesty in my forest, when it’s still going on? I don’t want to sit idly by and let my forest become some breeding ground for these intelligent apes. I want to do something about it,’ Peldurol explained.
‘Well, you could have that power,’ Satan said, sounding playfully evil, ‘Are you willing to give me your soul in exchange for the ability to stop the humans?’
Peldurol took only a few minutes to decide upon his answer. Just as Satan had finished his sentence, the humans had begun to take apart the tiger. They had already removed the skull and cleaned it of any edible meats. They even removed the brain and threw it onto the ‘edible’ pile. It made Peldurol sick to see them treating a beautiful beast in such a way. He had made his decision.
‘…Yes, that sounds like a fair trade,’ Peldurol said, almost not understandable.
God’s voice began to get quieter and quieter, and he could barely understand him. He did, however, make out one word
‘Ahh… much better. Now that that blowhard is out of the way, we can begin. You might feel a slight tug. Don’t worry though, that’s just your soul being ripped limb from limb by mine,’ at that, Satan sounded ecstatic.
Peldurol began feeling a slight tugging in side of him. It began growing more and more noticeable, until it was painful. He tried fighting it, but that only made it worse. He gave up after a few minutes of soul wressling with Satan.
Once his soul left him, so did his memories. They drained out of him as though is mind had been punctured. He saw his wedding day, his first time meeting his wife, his first time playing pipes, and his first friends. They all disappeared in a flash. All he had left were his horrible memories. The memories of his first broken arm, of his heartbreak after his first girlfriend was killed in the kind of storm that he met his wife. He, of course, remembered the pain and suffering he went through the day the meteor fell from the sky and killed everyone. What was worse than anything else, his memories of the humans stayed. They festered even more when he thought about them.
‘Ah. Much better. Great doing business with you,’ the evil bastard laughed.
‘When do you stop them,’ asked Peldurol.
‘We’ll talk about that after you’ve… made your rounds,’ He chuckled.
‘Made my… what?’
‘What? You <b>do</b> know what comes after you’ve decided which afterlife you’re going to, right? Oh holy hell, you earth dwellers aren’t all <i>this</i> dim, are you? Don’t any of you think that documentation of your acts continue even after your death. Even after death, you’re still deciding which side you’re on. I can’t fucking believe you goddamn living people do not even <i>research</i> this kind of shit. All you do is ‘live your life the good way’ and fucking rape each other in death. That’s why nearly all people who die, still end up in hell. They fuck up in the afterlife. Okay, here’s how it goes. After you die, me and God confront you about which side you’re choosing. It’s not obvious that we’re asking you unless you think about it, but no one ever does, seeing as they’re talking to us two. The side you choose isn’t always the one you end up in; however, it usually does end up with what you choose in the afterlife. Yours is horribly obvious, but I’ll leave it up to you to guess.’
‘Wait, you mean…’
‘Dude, you’re going to hell.’

This is steve talkin, people :slight_smile:
Anyhoowhichway, I’m trying to make this as long as I can, so my next chapters are gonna be few and far between, but you WILL get them. Bet your ass you will
Well… This is Steve saying SEEYA ON SEPTEMBER SECOND!

Edit: If this looks like shit, I’ll put the table back in it.

This is cool, I look forward to seeing more.

cool…writs more

u r gud kep goin’

Seriously, though. Niiiiice work.

Hey stevey, I promised you I’d post so here I do :stuck_out_tongue:

Hey, I like it :smiley: Blood, violence, pain… what more could an evil dragon goddess ask for? I might even reward you for this glorious sacrifice :smiley:

Eh, yeah. Long time no post :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

I have chapter 2 completed (DT! I thought I told you to change your post! :P)
Yeah, it’s gonna take awhile (It’s 11 1/2 pages in my notebook, and the first two are about 2 ;P)

Originally posted by Steve
I have chapter 2 completed (DT! I thought I told you to change your post! :P)



Need to bump this a bit. Working harder on the chapters. They will be up soon!
(School stuff)

can not wait

It’s quite morbid…in a good way, that is. Keep it up, this is starting to look excellent.

<center><table width=600><center><b>Chapter 2</b>
Peldurol was dumbfounded. He had not exactly realized the repercussions of his choice, until he was told by the devil himself that he was going to hell. Satan must have picked up on this, because he had begun to laugh heartily.
Slowly, the world began to reshape. It formed itself into a plethora of hallways. The hallways began interconnecting below him. Where all this took place, Peldurol could barely make out little things moving around down below him. The hallways turned from black and white to a velvety red color.
As he stared at the wonderous transformation below him, he noticed himself. His bady had slowly started reappearing. His heart began first. Just one cell started it off, but that cell begat another one. That cell had one more, and, before he knew it, his whole heart had become whole. After the heart came all of his veins. Millions of little tubes moved around in the air, stemming from the lump of lifeless flesh he calles his heart. His bones soon followed, creating form and shape from the one small organ. The Satyr’s nerves and brain, followed by the rest of his body, shaped, molded, and formed back into his body. His arms and a few vertebrae were missing.
‘Those are gone for good,’ he thought.
He wanted on the ground, now that he had form.
The ground obligingly rushed towards him. Peldurol landed with a thundering crash of hooves on stone. He looked at the surrounding area, taking in the sights. The walls were fleshy; they pulsed in tune with some unholy heart. It was like hell itself was one big creature. The floor was made of multitudes of bones sticking out through a fleshy skin. All of them were as dull as a tree branch.
Peldurol saw a few bags over in the corner. He sauntered towards them, his leg bones cracking from so much misuse. A stench entered Peldurol’s nose as he got nearer to the bags. It was the smell of fire… the smell of death… the smell of hell. The bags were made of flesh, and were connected to the ground by spindly cords of what looked like cartiledge. He kicked at one and the wall nearby slid apart with a sickening squish. A few seconds later, it closed with yet another squishing sound.
He got the idea of how to work them, and kicked the bag yet again. This time, however, he ran through the opening. The stench became worse than before. Extremely offensive to his nose and eyes. His trek continued all the same. He hoped to find Satan quickly, before anything happened to his beloved forest.
On Peldurol’s way through hell, he saw very many humans. There were almost nothing but them. He was glad. They all had horribly fatal wounds. Many were missing large portions of their body, or were ghostly white. A sign of decay. One man walked passed him, stab wounds all over his body. His left eye was missing, as was his left ear. Many fought over whose wound was better. A passerby reached over and ripped one of the men’s heads off.
“There, you win. Now shut the fuck up,” said the pissed off demon.
Peldurol couldn’t stifle the laughter from that. The other man in the fight noticed the laugh, and walked towards Peldurol.
“What the hell are you? Some sort of inbred goat?”
“No, I am not. I would also like to point out that I did nothing to offend you other than laugh at that other person’s misfortune,” he retorted.
“Oh, what the fuck. You can’t do shit to me anyway. I might as well have some fun.”
The man insulted him a few times, giving Peldurol a chance to look around at some form of quick escape route. He hoped what he’d chosen wouldn’t be necessary.
“If you’re done, I’d like to get going now.”
“Ohhh hell no. You stay right there, I’m far from done. Freak.”
His insults ranged from sexual preference, to his hybrid shape, and even to his mother. After that one, Peldurol began walking the other way.
“Don’t walk away. I haven’t gotten to the part where I fucked your wife.”
He stopped dead in his tracks.
Peldurol’s words came in short bursts, “What… did you… just say?”
“I said I fucked your wife!”
He knew he didn’t want to use the escape route he planned, but it could still be used.
“You’ll regret that,” said the enraged satyr, looking around the man’s back, and at a group of bored imps.
“Why will I re-”
He stopped talking once the hoof slammed into his chest.
The man flew back, breathless, into the group of imps.
They gleefully thanked Peldurol as they tore the man into many pieces, his screams of pain muffled by the walls. He smiled, said his goodbyes, and continued walking. He couldn’t help but wonder the sort of torture they’d give him after he was done on earth. Probably something involving hot coals and his ass. Maybe a permanent bath of lava with piercing screams all around him, driving him mad. He thought he’d worry about staying away from hell after he stopped the humans.
He continued through hell, kicking the fleshy bags to open doors. Along his walk he saw a large assortment of things. A beautiful woman, obviously vain, jeered at for her ugliness. She tore at her flesh, trying to make herself beautiful. Chunks of flesh fell to the ground, her fingernails scraping along her cheekbones at times. A few people in the crowd disappeared, others stopped laughing and heckling her. She looked around, and collapsed to the ground in pain and tears. One man was left in the crowd. She looked up to him, smiled, and they both disappeared. The room was left empty, puddles of blood already coagulating.
Peldurol cocked his head to the side in confusion, turned, and ventured on through the macabre hallways. His sight fell to other forms of hellish torture. Men who raped women were forcibly castrated, only to have their manhood regrow within moments. It was repeated over and over to the same man. A woman was forced to choose between her parents, spouse, or newborn. She’d had a miscarriage, and both parents were killed by a burglar. She could have stopped the man had she just been sooner, she thought. She chose the newborn to survive. Her husband vaulted himself at her, his head flying clean from his body as he did so, blood spattering on the baby. Her parents’ bodies exploded into pieces of gore that spewed across her. The bodies were stacked around her, just another wall to muffle her child’s cries.
Her husband and parents reappeared in front of her, and the almost dancelike procedure continued over and over, but the husband got noticeably closer each time; he finally got ahold of her, and he snapped her neck before his his head was once again ripped clean from his body.
Peldurol’s journey through hell continued on. His eyes venturing across the walls, he noticed how intricately woven the whole thing was. The bones were beautifully arrayed along the wall, seemlessly going together with the pulsating flesh and screams of pain and horror. It was a sight Peldurol would not soon forget. As he walked, the walls seemed to be more rigid than before, yet still pulsated a tad.
Peldurol passed an excrutiatingly foul smelling patch of air, and turned to see a room full of bodies. Young and old, male and female, it all blended together. Not all of the bodies were intact. There were limbs strewn about, disembodied and scarred. Many bodies actually moved. Peldurol could take no more, so he started leaving the room when the group of imps from before came walking happily by. They tossed the dead man into the pile, smiled at Peldurol, and left silently.
Peldurol chuckled and kept walking.
“Hey! It’s the freak!”
Peldurol stopped dead and stared forward.
“Why won’t you look at me? Too scary for the wussy,” the voice said.
He turned around and stared face first at the man from before. His head was tore up a bit, and his arms were almost uselessly limp.
“Hm… thought you’d die the first time I threw you at them.”
“Nah, here in hell you can’t die. What would be the point of the torture if you could die? I’ll always be here to fuck with you,” he smiled, “Y’see, whenever someone is dismembered so badly they cannot move, their body is sent to one of the many rooms around hell like it. Why I’m telling you this, I do not know, but I guess I should explain why I’ll be able to annoy the hell out of you forever. Anyway, after the day’s end, you’re reshaped, reformed, and sent back to your torture.”
Peldurol nodded and aimed his hoof at the man’s nose. He kicked with all his might, laughing as the man’s skull exploded into pieces of brain matter and chunks of bone.
“Vut thpe puck avv yoo doobin!?”
He laughed again and aimed his foot at the jaw this time, he kicked repeatedly, knocking the man’s jaw into someone’s back, making them scream in pain. His heart sank at this, for some reason. Blood spattered on his hooves and legs, he continued his leisurely stroll through hell.
A few hours later, Peldurol’s ears had become accustomed to the symphony of screams and laughs that were the trademark of hell. He actually quite liked the sound of the screams; it was almost soothing to his aching skull. Not to mention that his ears had stopped bleeding a little while back, and his mind had cleared quite noticeably. The only things in his head were the scheming to stay out of hell, and the nagging feeling that he’d forgotten something that was largely important to his life. He threw the latter to the back of his mind, focusing on the task at hand. He couldn’t concentrate on it good enough, so he brought the memories back to his mind.
He remembered when he turned 18, he broke his leg celebrating with his friends when he fell onto a tree. He was careless back then. His memories came back one by one. He remembered his broken heart, when his first girlfriend died in a horrible accident involving a lightning bolt and a tree. His first scrape when he fell. He didn’t remember if his mom comforted his crying, all he remembered was the pain it caused.
‘All these memories suck,’ thought Peldurol.
If he had memories of the bad, why not the good? He could remember his soul being taken from him, the faces of animals dying at the hands of humans, and the feeling of a lost love, why couldn’t he remember any of the good times he’d had. All of the good memories he thought everyone had. He got fleeting glimpses of happiness, but they faded, never to return to his mind again.
Peldurol stopped thinking when he walked into an enormous chamber. The room was beautifully decorated. Lava coursed through the columns that supported the greatly embellished ceiling and wall paintings. The painting on the ceiling itself caught his eye the most. It was a huge thing to behold. The colors were an array of almost every dark one imaginable. The painting was centered around a great winged creature the size of the planet, or so it seemed. The eyes of the demon glowed bright orange, and the bones shined through the coarse fleshy exterior. The wings were tattered, but seemed usable. There was a great shining hole in its chest that was completely black. It seemed to be in place where the heart should be. The face was contorted into a grotesque smile of insanity. The teeth were sharpened and craggily tilted in the mouth and were a sickly shade of black, of death. The neck slowly blended into the broad, strong shoulders with great meathooks for hands. They glistened with blood, and clenched to the point of veins popping out along the arms in streams of bluish streams on the orange body. The whole thing looked frighteningly real. Even the legs seemed to pound at the ground with ferocious intensity.
All while the awestruck Peldurol was staring at the ceiling, he hadn’t noticed the beautifully crafted throne at the center. Before he knew it, the ground began shaking uncontrollably. The floor buckled underneath his feet, and he ran to the nearest wall. He braced himself as best he could without arms. The painting above him began swaying back and forth, as though the roof were crumbling down upon him. What Peldurol didn’t expect was for it to start shrinking. He fell to the ground, but continued looking around him.
The creature became smaller, but still much larger than himself. It began having depth, slowly at first, then faster and faster. The ground shook less and less the more the demon came through, until it stopped completely. The great beast slowly floated seemlessly down to its throne, sat, and looked over to Peldurol. The smile had left his face, and his fists had clenched and unclenched many times in a row, like they’d not been used in a fairly long time.
Peldurol stood up and shook the dust off of him. The demon looked over at him and the smiled returned once again.
“Peldurol! You little bastard! How did you get here so soon? Shoulda taken much longer for you to get here,” said that all-too-familiar voice of Satan.
“It’s you…”
“Yes yes. That one guy that tore the hell out of heaven because he was a bit jealous of the throne. That guy that forces people to fuck things up. The guy that is the cause of every god damn bad thing in the world.”
“Yeah, you.”
“Well, what do you want from me?”
“I dunno, thought I’d get a bit of help here. Maybe a way back to earth.”
“You think I can just give you your way back up to earth? No. You have to fucking earn it and prove to me that you’re able to stand it up there.”
As the sentence was finished, Peldurol fell to the ground, writhing in pain. His empty elbows bubbled in pain, and his whole body burned. His body’s size fluctuated greatly due to the pain wracking his form. He blacked out shortly after it started.
Peldurol awoke what seemed to be a short time later to the sounds of agonized screams. Lucifer was laughing heartily at his condition. The screams sounded male, but weren’t the same ones he’d heard before. There was something familiar about them. He couldn’t move any part of his body except his eyes. The screaming was very close by, but he couldn’t see where it was coming from because of his inability to move. He couldn’t feel the pain anymore, but because he couldn’t move, he began panicking. The screams turned to weeps of sadness and loss. A tear escaped his eye and rolled to the floor. Satan stopped laughing.
“Aw, what’s wrong? Is the little baby scared? I thought you could handle this shit.”
Peldurol still couldn’t feel the rest of his body, so all he did was sit there and let the panic take him over. It slowly turned to fear and sadness, as is wont to lead to such feelings. The evil deity continued taunting the saddened satyr, as the disembodied voice cried along with Peldurol. He slowly stopped the tears, and the cries stopped as well. The voice continued taunting him. Once he stopped crying, the voice went back to its peircing screams of pain and agony. The screams began to soothe Peldurol into a slumber, his eyelids drooped and all became black.
Before Peldurol could completely sleep, however, the felling in his body returned. His eyes shot open and he began screaming in pain once again. He recognized the screams from before as his own. The agony from before had returned in full force.
“Make it stop,” Peldurol managed to blurt out. His throat had become unbearably raw.
“Alrighty. I think you’ve proven yourself to not be completely emotionless. Showing a bit of pussiness is always a good sign that you can be tortured,” Satan laughed.
The pain, for the most part, ceased entirely. There was still the lingering pain in his jaw and throat from the constant use of both.
“Why does my jaw still hurt,” his sentence was pockmarked by painful coughs.
“What the fuck do you think you get for screaming for two centuries. Time down here passes all too quickly for my tastes. Hell, took you five centuries to find your way here.”
“That means I’ve been here for damn near seven hundred years.”
“Seven hundred twenty three to be exact, actually.”
“What has become of my beautiful home,” the pain had faded enough that he could speak without too much pain.
“About that. I can’t tell you jack shit about the real world other than what god forsaken time it is up there. Not even the fucking weather can be told from down here.”
“Don’t ask. Too long of a story for me to tell you. About fifteen centuries long, and that’s before adding in how long it actually is in the real world.”
“Aren’t we the little angsty bitch today.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what you’re thinking. You can’t possibly think you can really kill yourself, do you?”
“Well, not really, but it’d be fun. Anyway, can you help me get up to earth?”
“Sure, and while I’m at it I’ll send a few hundred dead fetuses up there with you. For fuck’s sake, you look like hell. You can’t go up to the world of man, who barely know why the hell they shit, and expect to be taken seriously without arms. God wouldn’t let me hear the end of it. Just hold still,” Lucifer shook his head in disappointment.
Peldurol stared speechless, and looked into Satan’s no longer smiling face. His flesh began to bubble wherever there had been a cut on him. His arms began to regrow, but something about them was wrong. They were almost like a thick gel more than flesh and bone. His skin tingled all over, cuts from rocks were being reshaped. Most of all, his face began stinging and moving. The boulder that hit there must have really screwed up his face.
“There, you have your arms and face, and your cuts have been restored.”
“What about my horns?”
“Oh, too late for that, but there is something I can do for those.”
His orange eyes flickered a bit and Peldurol felt a small bump form on his head.
“There. For every person you kill, you’ll get a nother little bump like that.”
“I don’t want to kill anyone. I just want them to stop.”
Satan scoffed at him, “Sure you won’t. Just follow me to the world of semi-chimps.”
Peldurol followed without uttering a word. They passed a few familiar rooms, and continued past many he had never seen before. Peldurol looked at the walls. They seemed to bend and twist towards his companion. All the pulsing was in sync with the pulsing of the black hole in Satan’s chest. Everything stopped when the two passed. Fights he had seen before he got to the chamber in the first place halted at their approach. One man’s torture was made worse because he moved his eyes upon Satan.
Peldurol felt extremely uneasy with everyone staring at them like they were. He felt their eyes moving from him to Satan. From his face to his arms, legs, which were no longer noble and beautiful. He had an inkling as to why they were looking. It had dawned on him that all Satyr must go to heaven. He was the first one they’d ever seen. They probably never even heard of them, because Satyr are generally nice, kind, and heaven-worthy creatures.
“Get the fuck back to whatever the hell it is you people do. I won’t have any screwing around when I’m temporarily busy. Once I get done with this one, you’ll all be getting some major ass kickings. This may not be heaven, but dammit, you still have to listen to what the fuck I say.”
Peldurol almost laughed at that. The irony of the statement almost hurt. he would have commented on it, but questioning Satan’s authority in his own personal domain didn’t seem to be the best course of action.
‘Yeah, I know how hypocritical that statement was. With my bad track record about respecting authority.’
Peldurol was startled, he gave a meek smile and replied, ‘Forgot you could do that. Extremely unnerving for you to be able to look in on my thoughts.’
‘You’ll either get used to it, or go mad. Either way suits me just fine. I’ve forgotten which happens the most.’
The juxtaposed duo continued along through hell. People’s heads turned and stared, still. Satan continued his threats of punishment wherever he went.
“I bet you’re wondering why I haven’t already scattered your fucking intestines from here to purgatory.”
“Thought so. Everyone is scared of me here.”
To assert his power, he grabbed one poor bastard by the neck, ripped his head off and shoved it ass far into his ass as possible. He didn’t stop there, though. He shoved his fingers through the man’s stomach and kidneys, into his eye sockets. Peldurol knew this because he saw one of the eyes stuck on Satan’s finger. The man yelled out in agony, muffled in his body. Satan threw the man’s corpse to the nearest wall, impaling it through the hole in the stomach on a bone.
Peldurol blinked and stared at the feat. He was surprised at how flimsy the man had become, even after being decapitated, anally violated by his own disembodied head, had one of his kidneys punctured, his eyes gouged out, and impaled through the stomach on a very dull bone.
Once he thought about it, Peldurol noticed that the bone hadn’t been there before. He finally realized one key thing. Satan is in complete control of hell’s shape. That’s why it bent and twisted towards the two, and why he was in a completely solid chamber, instead of out in the hallways. What he couldn’t figure out is why Satan was so surprised when he showed up. He had to have known how long it would take Peldurol, and the fact that he was probably guiding him all that way.
“You coming?”
Peldurol was jerked out of thought, “Yeah, I am.”
It wasn’t long before the two came to a large, hole in the wall. It was flanked on either side by large golems made of lava, held in shape by some unknown force. They moved to block the path of Peldurol, but they saw Satan and immediately moved away, kneeling to Darkness.
“Get your ass up there and finish whatever the hell you were going to do,” He said, motioning to the hole.
Peldurol set one extremely weathered hoof onto the bottom stair, looking up into the far distant point of light. He began his slow climb to the top, bidding Satan farewell. His hooves made loud clomps on the bone steps. There were carvings similar to the ones in Satan’s chamber.
After a few hours of climbing, the stairs slowly changed from ornate and beautiful, to half-assed and ugly. The symbols were less distinguished, with many ‘mistake etches’ marking the spots where the workers had obviously been too tired to work. A few steps above him there was a skeleton with a chisel in one hand, and a near completed step. The man had died before he finished it. He probably resided in one of the torture rooms in hell now.
The walls had also slowly been changing. The pulsating had slowed to an almost dead pace. The farther he went, the sicklier it got. It got greyer and less and less lifelike, until it was completely rock solid. He’d also noticed there no longer were steps, just a dirt path.
Peldurol finally realized he was going home. He became ecstatic and began running as fast as he could. He turned to see where he had been, but there was just a stone wall behind him. He turned around and continued running towards home; freedom.
After an hour or so, he came to a fork in the cave. It went back the way he came, but it was slanted upwards, rather than down. He decided to not bother with it, and ran faster, towards the light. His hoof caught a rock sticking up from the ground. He sent his hands out in front of him reflexively to make sure he didn’t injure himself further. He braced himself for the pain that would surely come.
It never came.
There was no pain in his hand, even though there was a deep cut along his left hand, and a huge rock through his right.
‘Man alive… I never thought someone would be as easily injured as you.’
Peldurol was annoyed, ‘What the fuck do you want?’
‘Hey, I was gonna help you, but if you’re gonna be a bitch about it, I can just revoke your earth priviledges by sending my golems after you.’
‘Sorry. Won’t happen again.’
‘That’s what I thought. Now, I gave you a little help with those arms of yours. Just think about them being perfectly new again.’
‘Uh… why?’
‘Just do it.’
Peldurol, confused, did as he was told. He imagined his transparent, but bloody, arms to be completely healed, and pictured the rock falling harmlessly to the floor. He closed his eyes and thought harder about it.
He heard a soft thud, and opened his eyes. His arms were back to perfect shape, and the rock was on the ground, no sign of blood at all. His arms rippled a bit, all the way to the elbow, and solidified.
‘Holy shit.’
‘Yeah, I know. I kick ass, you don’t need to shower me with affection over it.’
‘Uh… yeah. Right…’
Peldurol continued his leisurely run, without losing a step or a breath, towards the corporeal world again. With one great run, he’d come to the edge of the world. The sun was very bright outside, and he could see nothing of what was out there. He took a deep breath, stepped into the light, and into the world of man.</center></tr></td></table></center>

Originally posted by me in the original thread for this fic
Kick. Ass. More. Now.

Steve r teh write guder.

Quick plug and a few suggestions:
All updates on the story will also be there.
please please PLEASE don’t make a few words as compliments or anything. I want to know EXACTLY what is wrong with it. Tell me what you thought could be better, could be changed a bit, or just what you don’t like about it. I’m trying to refine my writing style (this is my first MAJOR writing thing I plan on doing)