"Retaliation:Endgame" Prologue

Here’s the prologue.

The piece of music echoing through the place brought it’s own sorrow to my funeral.

Rain was slapping down on the concrete, on the edges of my late grave. I felt calmness, and yet, I knew this was the end. When you lived a careless, reckless life, it was bound to get to you.

But I had lost too many friends along the way. The memories I had were fading away from me, as their voices fell away from me. The memories I never thought would fade had faded and blown away. The faces I had seen along my life, the faces of my friends had turned old and gray.

Because they killed you in the end. When nothing mattered, nothing weighed on your mind, you should’ve known, it was the end. And they killed you in the end. You could count on that.

I did.

I looked up to her. We were both losers in this battle. No victors had came out alive. The only two players were me and her, the knight and the queen. Like the chessboard was only a battle area with some blood smeared across it to spell “revenge”.

“What do you see with those eyes?” she asked as she got out a gunblade, “With your puppy-dog eyes?”
“You.” I replied, “Only you as you are. Only you as what you had always been.”
“Don’t forget your own role. You destroyed everything I had, in return of my simple act of duty.”

Act of duty. A sick irony was making it’s way back into the picture. We had both done nothing but the ‘act of duty’s we had been ordered to do. Like a demon serving Diablos. A soldier in Hell’s Army.

“How does this end?” I asked.
“Through you.” She replied, as I bitterly smiled to this metaphor.

But the forgotten words of our friendly hate was taking us nowhere.

“I named this ‘Laguna’.” she told me.
“And this is named as ‘Raine’” I replied.
“How ironic…” she told me, smiling the bitter smile of a stone-cold killer, “Lovers meet again.”
“For the last time.” I told her.
“For the last time.”

The rain picked up it’s pace. I started to run towards her, with my trenchcoat flying around. My steps splashed the water every which way as the song went on and on and on like the darkness that had came on to me.

As the distance closed in on us, as the burden of the showdown, the true retaliation pushed all of us down, I thought about them.

Rinoa. Zell. Selphie. Quistis. Irvine. Even Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin. Xu and Nida were at the corners of my mind, hiding from me.

They were here with me. And it was the only thing I could count on.

I swung Raine, and in return, she swung Laguna from the opposite direction. The gunblades met as our trenchcoats flew around like our fallen wings. Jets of flame came out of the gunblades like they were the core of stars.

The retaliation had began.

Okay guess it sucks and no one liked it. Not even our moderators or anything.

Joker, you posted it today. Give people time to decide to comment, we’re all lazy duffs.

Now, it’s looking dark, ominous and confusing. Just like Retaliation should be :slight_smile: Nice!

Originally posted by Joker Loire Of The Turks
Okay guess it sucks and no one liked it. Not even our moderators or anything.

Geez, chill man. That’s the one thing that annoys me most on this board, when people post some work and complain four hours later when nobody has said anything. Take a look at my story. There are 9 posts by me and 2 by other people. How many of mine are little self-indulgent fits about how noone likes my work enough to reply? None? That’s what I thought.

I haven’t read enough of your story to really understand what’s going on, but the style is superb and the emotion comes across very well. You have honest to goodness talent, so don’t start berating yourself and your story just because no one has said anything. How much is a response worth if the reviewers don’t provide any actual suggestions or comments that address what you have written?

thank you for commenting!

Weiila, confusing huh? Gonna get more confused throughout the story, especially when Bullseye comes into play!

demigod, thank you as well. Y’know, I just can’t get comments unless I step up to ask for them. However, I must say, authors like me(the people who want to be a writer like Umberto Eco or Terry Pratchett) need commentary.

Only a few people send them, though.

Thank you two.

Okay, people of this board, anyone else?

I would have commented earlier but I’ve been in bed for the past 4 days with flu and diorrhea. Very good, some very very good description, and I have to wonder who he’s fighting…

Yes, you will get more confused as a charactarization of Paine in FFX-2 appears in Endgame, the only ally our guy with nothing to lose will gain, when some trenchcoated fella named Bullseye who likes to throw metal Triple Triad cards or tiny shrukiens at Squall over intensive rage…

It’s coming a bit slow, though, cause I’m trying to get through Max Payne 2:The Fall Of Max Payne at the same time, and probably will go on with EIGHT EXAMS on the same week, Jedi Academy, Max, American McGee’s Alice…


But this story is meant to be.