Hey bro I’m in the two gallon club
^I didn’t know you played Rugby.
I’d love to give blood, but they won’t take it. 'cause of something I had no control over, my blood is as toxic as hydrochloric acid, apparently.
So, fuck 'em. If they don’t want it, it’s their loss.
Finally getting to put in a girl’s butt was one of my resolutions a couple years ago. The other was to fuck an asian girl. I accomplished both feats in the same night. Then we dated for like 9 months or so and then we both got arrested for selling cocaine and then we both got accepted to the drug court program and then we both fucked up and got kicked off and got sent to prison and then i got to cccl and was expecting to see her show up there soon and then they let me out and now i’m free
edit: I’ve decided that since my first resolution was too damn easy just like everything else i do or will ever do cause i’m a member of the 99th percentile (hardmode none of that goofy normal shit) I’m going to try and create a new one. Oh wait i didn’t even have to try it just came to me. I will challenge myself to put it in Morgan’s butt a week within her either release to community custody OR within two weeks of her being sent to the work release center which really should be any damn day now dammit, jeezalouise
So wait. Does this mean that if you’re bitten by a venomous snake, it dies instead of you? Or are we talking about having blood splatter that’ll hideously burn anyone that violently guns you down at point blank range?
Also, how does that even work? Hydrochloric acid’s nasty enough to etch glass never mind having that shit coursing through your fleshy veins.
It’s an analogy; my blood isn’t actually as toxic as hydrochloric acid. Canada Blood Services refuses blood donations from people who have had homosexual sex, regardless of how long ago it happened. It’s a completely stupid reason to bar me from saving someone’s life, but it’s still one of their criteria for some reason.
How come you haven’t resolved to stop using drugs and other harmful substances? c’mon man, get your life back on track and do something you can be proud of instead. It’s healthier and you’ll live longer. And stay out of prison. And be able to afford nice things. And other good things like that.
And suddenly I find that making that Ninja Scroll joke as vague as I did was pretty tasteful in retrospect.
Also how the hell was anyone supposed to pick up on that?
I don’t generally talk about being bisexual- it usually just causes problems. So most people don’t know and never find out.
Anyways yeah, until that law changes, I can’t donate blood.
yeah bro thats why you just lie to them. i’ve never got to penetration with guys but i’ve shared plenty of needles
Exactly 0 of us will cry when you get hepatitis or AIDS just because of this sentence.
It’s not like he has a long life expectancy to begin with. If it weren’t for his extremely long rambling posts he made while completely baked, there would have been absolutely no way to convince me that he wasn’t a troll because normally I would refuse to believe that someone this fucked up can actually exist. But here I stand corrected, apparently.
You probably shouldn’t resolve to have motorcycle accidents that often.
They don’t pay for blood up here, so it’s on principle- if I have to lie about myself to be allowed to save someone’s life, then they obviously don’t need my blood that badly.
They dont pay for blood here either. They pay for plasma though, I was a phleb at a plasma donation center for just short of 2 years before The Man became infatuated with me. If I don’t show up to donate they’ll start calling my cell and my parents house phone like twice a week saying they are in desperate need of my blood type
Regarding the OT:
Attend the Survival Training School of California, at least the weekend course.
Become more self-sufficient in terms of growing some of my own food and such.
Bring my oldest daughter camping a few times.
Continue increasing my fitness levels.
Find ways to relax, that’s difficult for me.
My resolution for this year would just be to get through it. I just want to finish everything I started and see where the road takes me from there. 
I think the same policy is in place in the U.S. (due to characterising AIDS as a gay disease when it first made waves iirc but don’t quote me on that).
I’d like to say that we’re over that now but with the way people are looking at birth control right now I’ll admit that you’re probably right. Of course the birth control matter is more of a church thing than a republican thing and it seems more like a per clinic policy basis anyways, but what do I know, I just live here and pay no attention because that way lies madness.
That said, I’m actually going to miss the Republican Primaries after today since the whole race has been nothing but a massive rat race to the bottom of the barrel and there’s been some real comedy gold coming from that disorganized, out of touch party; whereas everything between tonight and November is basically going to consist of non stop Obama slander including such hits as Anti-Religious, Secret Muslim, Death Panels, and those retarded Birther fucks. #firstworldproblems
get my ass in gear
derp