Some time ago someone in the boards posted something similar about LotR. Here goes one about Matrix Reloaded:
Ops! Ops! Ops!
The explainer part was hilarious. I think I will go drink more Power Aid…
- Joins: -[Ghost]-
- Joins: StokChar02
- Joins: TheOne
- Joins: AgentJohnson
- Joins: Trin303
- Joins: StokChar01
- Joins: AgentJackson
- Joins: SexyJada69
- irc.thematrix.com sets mode: +o AgentJohnson
- irc.thematrix.com sets mode: +o AgentJackson
- AgentJackson sets mode: -o TheOneBeliever
- AgentJohnson changes topic to ‘Th3 M4tr1x h4s j00
[b] KEANU REEVES
Who are you?
THE EXPLAINER I am The Explainer. I designed the matrix screenplay. Unable to decently explain the convoluted plot well, I have resorted to putting myself here in the final act and having you ask all of the questions the audience wants to ask. (dramatic pause) You must begin by asking your own questions then gradually switch to asking those of the audience, in order to not make this scene any more awkward than it already is. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant. KEANU REEVES Why am I here? THE EXPLAINER Many years ago, shortly before the success of Speed, you sold your soul to the devil in exchange for a promise of notoriety that your piss-poor acting skills do not deserve. This series is the actualization of this promise. KEANU REEVES What was the Osiris? And who was that kid in zion who kept pestering me? THE EXPLAINER You will find the answers to these questions by purchasing The Animatrix, a collection of nine animated shorts from some of Anime's top directors. KEANU REEVES Alright. Well, what was that crap Glora said about vampires and werewolves? And how did Jada Pinkett Smith get to Laurence Fishburne during the car chase? And what the hell happened during the power plant takeover climax that-wasn't? THE EXPLAINER You will find the answers to those questions by purchasing the Enter The Matrix game, available for Windows, Playstation2, Xbox, and Gamecube. Enter the Matrix features awesome gunplay and spectacular martial arts that bend the rules of the Matrix. This game isn't just set in the Matrix universe--it's an integral part of the experience, with a story that weaves in and out of The Matrix Reloaded. Enter the Matrix is the story behind the story. KEANU REEVES Fine! Then tell me this, what the hell is with Hugo Weaving saying he and I have some special connection? And how come I can control machines in the real world? And will we win the war if I don't choose the door to my right? THE EXPLAINER You will find the answers to these questions when you watch The Matrix Revolutions, coming later in 2003. KEANU REEVES I hate you. THE EXPLAINER Perhaps you should drink more Powerade. KEANU REEVES Just answer me one question. We're not going to find out that the real world is in another matrix, are we? THE EXPLAINER Christ I hope not.[/b]
<img src=“http://www.rpgclassics.com/staff/tenchimaru/td.gif”> Man, I can SO see that happening
I don’t feel the slightest bit
intimidated, and as a result the
audience feels absolutely no danger.
AGENT JACKSON That's a shame, since this is the first fight scene and should really get them hyperventilating.
They use kung fu and KEANU beats the crap out of the AGENTS
and flies away.
All of the ships head to ZION. Nothing happens for a
while. Characters talk to other characters. Eventually,
there is an erotic rave scene, but it too is somewhat
boring. The AUDIENCE goes to sleep.
AUDIENCE This is what they're fighting to save? It sucks! Wake me when they're back in the matrix."
Those guys crack me up!
LAURENCE FISHBURNE Ops! Ops! Ops! JADA PINKETT SMITH Fine! Jesus.
SexyJada69 sets mode: +o TheOneBeliever.
LAURENCE FISHBURNE Woohoo!
SexyJada69 was kicked by TheOneBeliever (Don’t hog ops!)
JADA PINKETT SMITH Not funny.
Oh, I remembered my Mirc days now :o :o :o
Why are you using kung fu? Can’t
you jump inside us and delete us
like in the last movie? Isn’t that
one of your super awesome powers?
KEANU REEVES Nah, the only real new power I have is flight. HUGO WEAVING That sucks. KEANU REEVES Not as badly as my appearance when I do my little mid-air spin move with this pole.
That’s second best part of this script for me, losing only to the one TD already quoted.
Mmmm, movie was good. Anyone know where I can find the REAL script online?
It’s official, that script offends me with its bullshit.
How can they destroy such beuty? I will slaughter whoever did it very soon.
Lol. That was priceless. Oh yeah, and the parody Matrix movie script was pretty funny too.