Reloaded Scripts by the Editing Room

Some time ago someone in the boards posted something similar about LotR. Here goes one about Matrix Reloaded:


Ops! Ops! Ops!

The explainer part was hilarious. I think I will go drink more Power Aid…

  • Joins: -[Ghost]-
  • Joins: StokChar02
  • Joins: TheOne
  • Joins: AgentJohnson
  • Joins: Trin303
  • Joins: StokChar01
  • Joins: AgentJackson
  • Joins: SexyJada69
  • sets mode: +o AgentJohnson
  • sets mode: +o AgentJackson
  • AgentJackson sets mode: -o TheOneBeliever
  • AgentJohnson changes topic to ‘Th3 M4tr1x h4s j00


Who are you?

                   THE EXPLAINER
        I am The Explainer.  I designed the
        matrix screenplay.  Unable to
        decently explain the convoluted plot
        well, I have resorted to putting
        myself here in the final act and
        having you ask all of the questions
        the audience wants to ask.
             (dramatic pause)
        You must begin by asking your own
        questions then gradually switch to
        asking those of the audience, in
        order to not make this scene any
        more awkward than it already is.
        Concordantly, while your first
        question may be the most pertinent,
        you may or may not realize it is
        also the most irrelevant.

                    KEANU REEVES
        Why am I here?

                   THE EXPLAINER
        Many years ago, shortly before the
        success of Speed, you sold your soul
        to the devil in exchange for a
        promise of notoriety that your
        piss-poor acting skills do not
        deserve. This series is the
        actualization of this promise.

                    KEANU REEVES
        What was the Osiris? And who was
        that kid in zion who kept pestering

                   THE EXPLAINER
        You will find the answers to these
        questions by purchasing The
        Animatrix, a collection of nine
        animated shorts from some of Anime's
        top directors.

                    KEANU REEVES
        Alright.  Well, what was that crap
        Glora said about vampires and
        werewolves? And how did Jada Pinkett
        Smith get to Laurence Fishburne
        during the car chase? And what the
        hell happened during the power plant
        takeover climax that-wasn't?

                   THE EXPLAINER
        You will find the answers to those
        questions by purchasing the Enter
        The Matrix game, available for
        Windows, Playstation2, Xbox, and
        Gamecube. Enter the Matrix features
        awesome gunplay and spectacular
        martial arts that bend the rules of
        the Matrix.  This game isn't just
        set in the Matrix universe--it's an
        integral part of the experience,
        with a story that weaves in and out
        of The Matrix Reloaded.  Enter the
        Matrix is the story behind the

                    KEANU REEVES
        Fine! Then tell me this, what the
        hell is with Hugo Weaving saying he
        and I have some special connection?
        And how come I can control machines
        in the real world? And will we win
        the war if I don't choose the door
        to my right?

                   THE EXPLAINER
        You will find the answers to these
        questions when you watch The Matrix
        Revolutions, coming later in 2003.

                    KEANU REEVES
        I hate you.

                   THE EXPLAINER
        Perhaps you should drink more

                    KEANU REEVES
        Just answer me one question.  We're
        not going to find out that the real
        world is in another matrix, are we?

                   THE EXPLAINER
        Christ I hope not.[/b]

<img src=“”> Man, I can SO see that happening :stuck_out_tongue:

I don’t feel the slightest bit
intimidated, and as a result the
audience feels absolutely no danger.

                   AGENT JACKSON
        That's a shame, since this is the
        first fight scene and should really
        get them hyperventilating.

They use kung fu and KEANU beats the crap out of the AGENTS
and flies away.


All of the ships head to ZION. Nothing happens for a
while. Characters talk to other characters. Eventually,
there is an erotic rave scene, but it too is somewhat
boring. The AUDIENCE goes to sleep.

        This is what they're fighting to
        save? It sucks! Wake me when they're
        back in the matrix."

Those guys crack me up!

                 LAURENCE FISHBURNE
        Ops! Ops! Ops!

                 JADA PINKETT SMITH
        Fine! Jesus.
  • SexyJada69 sets mode: +o TheOneBeliever.

                   LAURENCE FISHBURNE
  • SexyJada69 was kicked by TheOneBeliever (Don’t hog ops!)

  • Joins: SexyJada69

                   JADA PINKETT SMITH
          Not funny.

Oh, I remembered my Mirc days now :o :o :o

Why are you using kung fu? Can’t
you jump inside us and delete us
like in the last movie? Isn’t that
one of your super awesome powers?

                    KEANU REEVES
        Nah, the only real new power I have
        is flight.

                    HUGO WEAVING
        That sucks.

                    KEANU REEVES
        Not as badly as my appearance when
        I do my little mid-air spin move
        with this pole.

That’s second best part of this script for me, losing only to the one TD already quoted.

Mmmm, movie was good. Anyone know where I can find the REAL script online?

It’s official, that script offends me with its bullshit.

How can they destroy such beuty? I will slaughter whoever did it very soon.

Lol. That was priceless. Oh yeah, and the parody Matrix movie script was pretty funny too.