Relationship assistance question:

I’ve been going through a really painful time in my life lately. The woman I love is insane. One night, she’ll say she loves me, we’ll hold each other close and make the most passionate love I’ve ever experienced… The following day, she’ll seem distant… And after that, she runs back to her abusive ex. She tells me I’m too clingy when I do nothing. Were not together, and I feel like she just uses me now.

I’m a shoulder to cry on when he upsets her, but only long enough to get her back on her feet so she can run back to him. We have amazing sex, the best ever, in fact… And when she is back in his arms she tells me that I’m stupid for attaching meaning to it, when it is HER screaming that she loves me in the middle of it…

Frankly I just want to know how to get over someone. She causes me too much stress to handle and I became scared of myself this evening when I actually started thinking about suicide and my options therein. The idea of killing myself and taking him out with me was very appealing, but I realized before I thought on it too much that it could never happen.

I’d appreciate serious responses with the intention of helping only. Last time I posted about a similar topic, half of you snapped back with “stop being a pussy” and that is not what I’m looking for. I’m looking for serious ideas and suggestions on how to overcome my desire to save her from herself.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you feel like the world is falling around you and you just want to run to someone and hold onto them? I have had that in my gut for a few weeks now and my problem is that the person I want to run into the arms of is the person causing my anxiety.

Help me out please, I’m just depressed and have no where to turn.

So the logical thing to do is to post this on an RPG forum.

There’s not really much advice that can be given. Just get out of the relationship already, and don’t go back.

Or you could try and drown out your thoughts on her either by getting into another relationship.

Playing videogames a lot could help, too. Keep your mind off of reality.

Because god knows interactive entertainment is awesome at keeping your mind occupied.

Even when you’ve got stuff like this to worry about.

In other words, there’s nothing anybody here can say that will make you feel better or give you the balls to get out of the relationship.

Nobody can help you.

Getting professional help might, you know, HELP, but I highly doubt it.

As in this case, and many other cases, you are the one that needs to fix the problem.

Psychologists are just there to point them out to you, and you already know of them.

Ultimately, no matter what anybody does to help you, it’s up to you.

So stop screwing around on the internets and break up already.

Single status isn’t that bad, anyway.

Your mom might also be happier with your dad. Think of your mom, man.

Seriously, you just need to get pissed off, but instead of at him, get pissed at her. Next time she comes trying to use you for a springboard, tell her that you’re tired of it and to start using someone else. It’s very unlikely that you’ll be able to salvage the pieces of this one, so i’d suggest doing that, and while you’re doing it, try to find someone else. If you can do that it’ll help you maintain your strength when she keeps trying to lay guilt trips on you, which is exactly what she’ll do. I don’t suggest letting her know who you’re dating if you find someone else, however; she might just go crazy and exact retribution. Some people may disagree, but I say to these people: You’re too soft. Life is harsh. What she’s doing to you is pretty harsh, wouldn’t you agree? Just because it’s awesome sex and she’s a girl and all of that stuff doesn’t mean that she can do that to you, so make her realize that life is harsh. That’s my advice.

Sex isn’t everything, and from what you’ve said, it sounds like she’s indeed just using you. If she keeps running back to the abusive bastard and treating you badly, then to hell with her. You shouldn’t let her toy with you like that. Besides, anyone can claim to love someone when they’re in the act. You’re not a goddamn yoyo for her to keep throwing you away and then pulling you back.

You ARE being a pussy. Cut the fucking bitch out like I fucking told you months ago.

Don’t talk to her, don’t see her, don’t keep anything around that might have some attachment to her unless its a necessity.

The answer is simple and you’re being weak by continuing to deny what needs to be done. Losing her might hurt more than what she’s doing to you now, but if you have gangrene on your foot, the thing has to go or it’ll work its way up and kill you. This is one of those painful times in one’s life where you have to look at the truth and bite the bullet. You might not want to get rid of her but the truth is simple: she is already lost to you.

There we go. Everyone else can stop posting now.

I know what I’m talking about when it comes to relationships and pain.

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Oh I know I’m being used
That’s okay man cause I like the abuse
Oh I know she’s playing with me
That’s okay cause I’ve got no self esteem

We make plans to go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
All this rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

When she’s saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying, oh, that I’m like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah-eh-eh

Now I’ll relate this little bit
That happens more than I’d like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
She’s drunk again and looking to score
Oh I know I should say no but
It’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go
I may be dumb, but I’m not a dweeb
I’m just a sucker with no self esteem

When she’s saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying, oh, that I’m like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah-eh-eh
Izlude, you are a pussy.

Well I’d keep running to the other guy if it meant we had the most amazing passionate sex ev0r. I can see the logic she has going with that. And you should too. It’s all about the horizontal thing with her, Izlude, and she’s going to continue to act drama queenish everytime she runs from you. Take it from me, I do it all the time for attention.

If I had a boyfriend who did that, I’d kick his lame cheating ass into next Thursday.

No shit. What the hell’s up with these forums?

The unfortunate thing that I must admit to is that along side a few other real life friends, this forum is one of the only places where I feel that I can actually talk to people.

Some of you are really nice people and have given me good thought-out advice in the past, that is why I come to you all.

What? Really? In here? How can it be so? I don’t believe it.

Well, maybe your post was just flaming and calling him a pussy, but the other people who posted here already actually gave him advice.


Look izlude, I for one don’t think your a “pussy” but your a prisoner of your own emotions and you have to let her go and do your own thing.Problem with women is that we are great actors and have the ability to fuck with your mind.In my opinion, this girl is most likley fucking with you.Although you might feel hesitant to leave her, its for the best.Being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back is probabley the worst experience ever.Save your self emo moments like this and put your best foot forward.I know this may seem extremely hard but time heals all.

You are Izlude.You are a man.You have pride and dignity.Stand up for it

edit: I understand why you would post for advice.I too feel like I can talk to the people here.Some are really great to talk to.Dont be shy if you have a problem ^^



Sin said everything I was going to. Just drop the bitch and move on. 20-60 minutes of fun time doesn’t seem worth it in the long run :stuck_out_tongue:

It might be the case that she is not deliberately using you, but rather that she is just confused herself about what she wants. You’re obviously pretty fucked up over her now, but suppose that she feels the same way about this shitty ex-boyfriend of hers as you do about her. That doesn’t excuse her treatment of you, it’s just one alternate explanation of why it occurs. I might be wrong, but it seems to me that you don’t really know her character so well, since most of your stress seems to come from not knowing how to interpret her actions.

It’s up to you if you want to break off your ties with her or not. However, either way, it won’t do for you to keep carrying on like this, as that will just make you look pathetic in her eyes. You have to get a hold of yourself and stop being so emotionally dependent on her. Now of course that’s easier said than done, so if you can’t do it, then fake it. When you’re around her, just be calm. Don’t expect anything from her, and don’t remind her of anything she might have promised you. If she wants to talk to you, just listen to her without interjecting with your own issues; assume she doesn’t want to hear about your love for her. In the meantime, find some way to occupy yourself, preferably one involving other girls.