PV's Very Odd Star Ocean FanFic.

Jar Ocean

By Phoenix Valkyrie

Part One: Enter the Heroes

It all started with a poster.

At this time in the semi-pleasant (though exceedingly cold) town of Giveaway, a ragtag team of “warriors” that includes a man with dragons fused to his back and a barrel obsession, a hyperactive teenager who was scarily good at making bombs, two people with six eyes between them, cat-eared boy prodigy, and the world of Nede’s first black belt reporter, are attempting to be cheerful. And warm. And succeeding at neither.

“This sucks.”

“Aww, come on, Ernest, it’s not that bad.”

“This sucks.”

“Darling, Ashton’s right. It’s not as bad as you think.”

“Ashton has a fire dragon attached to his back. I’m cold and this sucks.”

“Big Brother Ernest, people are staring at us.”

“You mean they’re staring at you, Leon. Why did Claude even let you come along? Where is he, anyway?”

“He’s with Rena! You forgot they got married, right?” Giggles from the teenager.

“Precis, shut up.” Ernest’s eyes (all three of them!) narrowed. “I find you even more annoying now that we’re no longer trying to save the Known Universe and your weapons were restricted under the Lacour Convention and countless development laws. Right now your only redeeming factor is that you no longer have any cause to shout ‘Hereeeeeee’s Mister Enemy!’ anymore.”

“Oh, come on, you two.” Chisato, the roving reporter with an eye for the bizarre and dangerous, spoke up. She had been annoyingly upbeat since she had finally written and published a book on how to deal with annoyingly upbeat people who have finally written and published a book. “It’s not really that cold, is it, Ernest?”

The response was immediate from everyone. “Shut. Up.” While this was not a method discussed in said book, it was effective. Chisato pouted and turned to the wall, which had the aforementioned Poster of Destiny upon it.

“Hey, look at this!”

Leon stood on a chair and glanced at the poster. “Do you like weapons, explosions, or things that blow up?”

((That is part one. If you all like it, I’ll put up part two later.))

That’s really funny, Phoenix :slight_smile: Even though I haven’t played SO2 I enjoyed it, especially the part about writing a book :o Let’s see the rest!

Hoy! I like it, continue writing, and I’ll read it. :smiley:

Boot to the thread!

Jar Ocean

By PhoenixValkyrie

Part Two: Strains of Battle

“This sucks.”

“Awwww…Don’t be depressed, Makoto-kun!”

“Shut up, Zach. This sucks.” Makoto Talent tossed his GameSphere™ controller at the wall. “I don’t mind losing. I do, however, mind losing to a psycho superhero wannabe.”

Blue Angel Jessie flashed a victory sign. “For great justice!” She then grabbed her Mr. Whack-a-Bat™ and skipped off, presumably to do battle with such heinous supervillians as Newspaper Stealing Man and Otaku Fanboy.

Zach Mecha, the perpetually uke, blonde, and cheerful robotics expert, tried to defuse the situation with a perpetually dimwitted but eternally annoying comment. For an example of how annoying this is, hang around a younger sibling for a while. No, it doesn’t matter if they’re your sibling or not.

“Did you hear we’re getting some new teachers and a few new students?”

From the corner, a tall young man paused before responding. This was not because he was judging what to say, it was because he was judging the amount of damage he could do to Zach before Zach called in his mechanized mascots to protect himself. Finally, he cleared his throat and spoke.

“Shut. Up.”

The aforementioned man was Trent Arms, Montrose Academy’s resident gun-nut. Rumor had it that he could make a plastic explosive from bubble gum and a toothpick. Emotionless and as mentally stable as a statue made out of glass in the earthquake region of California, Trent was a man to be feared, dreaded, and run away from as fast as people’s legs could carry their frail, frail bodies.

The last person in the room, Makoto Talent, was an oddity. Not because he could jump twenty feet in the air and land without a scratch. Not because he shouted out an attack’s name before using it. Not because he could act as a mediator between Zach and Trent without dying….well, maybe because of that, too. However, Makoto was famous around the campus of Montrose Academy for one reason.

He was sane.

At least as sane as anyone could be in Montrose Academy, home to lunatics, beatniks, and other interesting people.

Zach continued on with his happy tirade, blithely unaware of Trent’s homicidal urges. “An’ one of ‘em has kitty ears and one of ‘em has dragons, an’ one of them is a writer, and two of them have three eyes each, and one of them even likes machines!”

“Kitty ears?”

“Haiiiii, Makoto-senpai! Kitty ears!”


“Haiiiii, Makoto-senpai! Dragons!”



Trent raised an eyebrow. “The kid’s lost it.” Reaching for a Large Weapon of Projectile Destruction, he added, “Not that he ever had it, mind you.” Inwardly, he growled at the fact that Zach had seen his movement and had instantly hopped into the cockpit of a previously unnoticed giant mech. Makoto yelped and ran. At this point, mediation was useless. Besides, if they killed each other, he’d get new roommates. Smirking slightly, he continued running…

Then crashed into something solid, tall, and grumpy. He looked up.