Poly relationships. Open minded, or excuse to whore around?

The Core RPGC Main Forum
1

I’ve recently come into contact with a few people who are in “poly” relationships. In this, they are with one person, yet go out with others and even sleep with other people.

The catch being (in the more respectable poly relationship) is that the significant other involved gets the right to approve or disapprove of their girl/boyfriend’s choice in “extra partners”.

I personally, from a moral standpoint think this is a load of shit. I guess its one of those things where I feel that if you are truly happy with someone you should be with that one person… And that should be enough.

In their defense, they do have rules and such that they follow to keep both partners happy in the relationship. However, as I said above, I feel that this sort of thing is just an fancy title for “I need so much sex, one person isnt enough, but I don’t want to be called a whore.”

Discuss.

2

Fuck buddies.

3

Adultery. :smiley:

Seriously though… I view it as morally wrong. I mean… it’s okay to date someone for a while… see if you like him/her or not. If you don’t okay, give it up, dump him/her and go out with someone else until you find that one person.

But having a relationship and see and/or have sex with other people while in that relationship? Seriously. WTF. Ew. It’s wrong to be with someone yet have “fuck partners” or be with other people.

Of course… it depends on if you’re totally commited to that one person as well.

It’s no wonder why there are so many STDs in the US alone…

:scream:

I bet this post is utter shit. :confused:

4

Not my thing, but if the persons involved are happy and nobody gets injured/maimed to death, I really don’t care. People have a hard time dealing with polygamy because it goes against the values of the mores of traditional society…as does pregnancy out of wedlock. You may think that it’s acceptable in this day and age, but people still gossip about it. :stuck_out_tongue:

5

It isn’t better in other places of the world :stuck_out_tongue:

6

Eh, I personally don’t care what they do, but I have issues against sex outside of a serious relationship. But if people can handle multiple, really serious relationships at once, go them.

7

Didn’t we call these people “swingers” once upon a time? Or is that term too loaded now?

I can see why guys would like it. After all, if our instincts didn’t push us to seek variety in our sex lives, one porn mag would last forever. I assume there are girls who want variety just as bad, or perhaps think that they’ll be able to keep their partner around if they allow them to have sex with someone else. I doubt that’ll work. People have a tendency to look for some sort of missing secret ingredient that will <i>finally</i> make them happy. For these people it’s more sex with more partners. Even if your partner understands and approves of it, you’ll still just want more.

Note that I didn’t come up with that by myself. I’m not that wise.

Anyway, people can get possessive of their partners, even if they’re just LOL FUCKBUDDIES. That leads to trouble. And trouble in the harem is the worst kind ~_^

So yeah. They want to whore around, so they can have a “relationship” without being “demanding” or “trapped.” It’s bullshit. I personally wouldn’t go for it; I get into things for the long haul.

I’m single… ;_;

ahem

I was reading Tim Allen’s <i>Don’t Stand too Close to a Naked Man</i> when I found a wonderful heuristic for this sort of thing, in an anecdote where someone propositions Tim at a party. He says to her, “It’s not about whether or not I want to sleep with you, it’s if I want to <i>wake up</i> with you.” That basically crystalized my approach. I’ve asked myself that question consistently, and if the answer’s no (and it usually is) I do nothing. Sex is not enough, though I’d like that as well, please.

Not to mention there are a mere handful of females I’ve met in my 21 years in this mortal coil that I have a reasonable amount in common with; maybe two that I could see without spending a fortune on travel (no offense to y’all ladies I met at the RPGCali Meet, you’re all quite charming). I’m friends with all of them, and pursuing them romantically seems sort of…<i>wrong</i> to me.

It would be a lie to say I hadn’t considered any and all of them sexually; men do that wether we want to or not. Hell, I find myself looking at women when I’m not even thinking about them; my eyes just kind of follow them on their own. I try my best to curb that impulse, but occasionally my self-control slips.

Now that I’ve got the longest post in the thread, I can retire, my manhood secure.

8

If they can be in a serious relationship without getting possessive/jealous, then who cares?

9

I thought the idea of polygamous relationships was that the sex <i>wasn’t</i> serious?

10

I can’t see how “serious relationship” correlates with fucking around. You’re not in a relationship (or well, a serious one at least) if you’re sharing yourself with several people in whatever way.

As for me, I don’t care, as long as the two parties are in agreement and play safely.

11

The sex may not be serious, but the relationship may be.

12

I want to make sure we’re defining this fully. By poly relationships do you mean where one of the people involved has two separate people attached to him/her, or (what I would consider a real “poly” relationship) one where all (at minimum) three people are emotionally attached to each of the other two members of the group?

13

As long as we’re on a definition kick, let’s have one for a “serious” relationship. Does a relationship become “serious” when it becomes sexual, or when the two parties start contemplating marriage, or when some arbitrary time limit has passed, or when you move in together, or what?

RELATIONSHIP. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

14

I think there are two kinds of poly daters: the ones who’ll identifty themselves with Offspring’s ‘Self-Steem’ song (agree to anything fear of loss of the other one?) and the ones who do it because their sexual fantasies involve cheating/beinh cheated on. Either way, it’s not my catch, but as long as it doesn’t harm anyone, I won’t be against it.

I only think this would be harmful if a kid saw his/her parents doing it. It would get “my dad doesn’t love my mom” or vice-versa echoing in the kid’s head.

15

I really don’t care too much one way or the other about it, I could even see how it would strengthen a relationship; if you care about someone enough to go sleep with whoever you like, but still always come back to them, that means more than staying with them your whole life but never seeing any other person of the opposite sex ever for fear or cheating.

16

only if i get a video tape with director’s commentary

17

But then you are basically saying “I have to look elsewhere for what I want”.

18

If someone wants someone to fuck around with (only hotties of the female persuasion may apply), come see me.

In addition to what Zepp said, behind the scenes “Making Of” footage. That would rock.

19

I’m so going to remember that statement for use at the right moments.

Oh, and totally an excuse to fuck around. No doubt.

edit - RC, did you want a “Meet the Fluffer” segment or something?

20

“I want to have my cake and eat it too” sums it up.