Pixar, quit making good movies. If not, I'll sue you.



Oh shit, the bar is raised and now studios are going to have to make “good” movies to compete! WTF is up with that?!

>_< I just dont believe this is actually happening, its so funny!

Oh my dear god. They cannot be serious! At all! Please tell me this is a joke!

It’s a joke.
“We can’t possibly be expected to stay in business when we’re up against a studio that doesn’t have dozens of unqualified young executives with little or no background or interest in film meddling in the creative process of all their movies.”
That quote should give it away.

Even if it WERE a joke, pixar has a 100% track record. Every movie they have made was a blockbuster. Doesnt mean you all had to like it or not, they were blockbusters none the less. This in itself has to be intimidating the other studios who are NOT making good films.

I wouldnt put it past them for this to be legit. And if its not? Well, it was a good laugh.

Dude, that article was fucked up. How can Hollywood demand a bad movie? All so the film critics that they pay off can get theirs. Hollywood’s influence on the public is out of hand. This has to be hands down the most ridiculous lawsuit I’ve seen or heard of since John Fogerty was sued by a record company for sounding like CCR. Why does Hollywood want to put on the PR front about “no one can make good films consistently”? This also explains why Andrew Dice Clay was such a marketable actor in the 80’s. He’s part of Hollywood’s grand PR scheme. And this explains why the only movies that have been released in the last couple of years that I’ve watched are mostly Pixar movies(Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo come to mind)

I also want to see “The Incredibles”, it looks pretty sweet. And the only other movies that have been released in the last couple of years that I’ve watched are the LOTR trilogy, King Arthur, Fahrenheit 9/11, and Pirates Of the Carribean.

And why do these eight major film companies want to sue Pixar? They’ve got enough fucking money. Even their shitty pre-meditated films generate capital.

And the answer to all of the questions I ask can be summed up in seven words.

Ok, so maybe I got carried away there, But I think at least four of those apply to Hollywood.

Edit: I only hope this is a joke.

Pretty clear it’s a joke, but it was a good laugh.

The complaint asks that a court award the eight studios $1 billion in damages or compel Pixar to hire 118 unqualified development executives, option the rights to 38 scripts and books it has no intention of turning into films, and immediately greenlight sequels to “Toy Story” and “Finding Nemo” with $100 million-plus budgets and hire directors whose only experience is in music videos to oversee them.
There’s no way it can’t be a joke.

Yeah, that’s just…stupid. The whole point of movies is to entertain people…I mean…come on…-_-

ACtually, methinks this is a joke. This site stinks of parody.

Still, it’s funny.

It would really be screwed up if the case went to court, and Pixar lost

A quick click on a single link at the top of the screen, called ABOUT US (now there’s an idea), reveals the following chunk of text.

About Dateline Hollywood

Dateline Hollywood was founded in 360 BC as “Gladiators Weekly” to cover the booming entertainment industry in the coliseums of ancient Rome. Its pioneering analysis of the statistics of lion mauls and emperor thumbs up/down made it the original publication to take the business of entertainment seriously. Its premiere edition included “The Ten Gladiators to Watch” and an analytic feature, “Deaths by Daggers Down LXVIII Percent.”

Over the years, the publication now known as Dateline Hollywood covered a number of different amusing industries as the times changed, transforming from “Inside Slave Trade,” to “Bubonic Plague Infestation Monthly” (later quarterly, yearly, and eventually publishing just once per century) to “What’s Hot in Renaissance Art,” “Miracle Play Today!” and, following a move to the young United States in the early 19th century, “Minstrel Show Monthly,” “The Ragtime Gazette,” and, following the editors’ realization in 1973 that ragtime’s time had passed, its current incarnation.

Today, Dateline Hollywood uses the reach, speed, and cheapness of the Internet to bring a worldwide audience the freshest news from the current capital of world culture: Hollywood, USA. Whether you’re an industry professional or Hollywood outsider, you’ll find everything you need to know about the world of film, TV, music, and more right here from the publication that continues to live up to its founding motto to “cover with unerring integrity that which matters least.”

Funny post, yes. I enjoyed reading it. But seriously Izlude, I realize posting new threads at the RPGClassics Agora is the only thing that gives you reason to live, but we at RPGC prefer things a more simply way. Stop making us conflicted. We like funny links, but we don’t like having to wonder whether the hitherto-unbeknownst thickheadedness and gullibility of the poster is, in fact, a subject even more ripe with humor and jocularity. Please, I beg of you, oh master of the comical arts, leave us to our simple ways. We were so much happier.

Heh, pretty funny. :sunglasses:
I guess it depends on how you define “blockbuster”… I don’t think Monsters Inc. did unbelievable.

It also has something to do with the fact that all of Pixar’s movies have basically the same formula: A comedy for the kids with some adult jokes thrown in. Recipe: have about five percent of the movie be touching scenes, fifty percent slapstick or dialogue comedy, thirty-five percent storyline and/or chase scenes, ten percent big swooping layout shots, throw in a hundred million dollars’ worth of marketing, put on 100% media frenzy for two weeks, and presto, instant blockbuster.

I’m not saying I haven’t enjoyed their movies as much as everyone else, but the only serious CG movie ever released was Final Fantasy: TSW, which flopped tremendously. I’m still kinda waiting to see if there’ll be another one in the next ten years or so.

Well of course it’s a joke, you cannot sue an enterprise for doing better than yours, imagine how many companies would have been sued already! The “movie links” ties to the right should be a dead giveaway (Hellboy/Passion cross-promotion? GUFFAW!!) However, it is to the writer’s credit that he wrote the article to make it sound like an actual news report. Not to mention having a bitingly-good point:

“Pixar is beginning to make many Americans questions why it actually seems possible to consistently make successful films.”

Ironically, one of the themes of THE INCREDIBLES is about how society would rather lower the bar of expectations rather than promote individual achievements (this is seen in both the lawsuits against the superheroes, and the “celebration” of Dash’s “graduation” from 4th to 5th grade.)

Thanks for posting this, Izlude, it was a lot of fun to read!

And Cid, you are right, Pixar uses a formula: but that’s not a bad thing, so do most other entertainment companies. The difference lies in the DETAILS; not just in the animation, but the story, the acting, music, etc. Pixar is still a young, idealistic company, and they STILL feel that they owe the public their best effort, instead of throwing together movies in rote fashion just to make money. That’s why I think their movies are so good. It may be that eventually they’ll settle into a routine and drop the quality, like what happened with Disney, but let’s hope it doesn’t happen yet.

Oh, and in my opinion, THE INCREDIBLES IS a serious movie. It may have humor in almost every frame, but the jokes are AROUND the story, not the story itself. Tthe things that were going on… from the Parr’s family problems to the many deaths in the story… were no joke.

Loved it. It’s a shame Hollywood doesn’t actually do stuff like this. At least then it would be honestly dishonest. :smiley:

Zep, you fucking rock. So god damn much.

That was an amusing parody site.

If you look at the other articles, it’s obviously a joke. No need to get worried about people suing over success.

“good for Pixar to be making blockbuster films one after the other :victoly:
other companies are just haters”
thats what I was thinking after I realised it was a joke :thud: …yes, im very gullible, very sad… :thinking:

Yes, but are the people who thought this was real even more gullible? :smiley:

Izlude, great link! The site is just beautiful. Funny, smart and very à propos. I looked at their archives and found most of their articles extremely amusing (well, more than just amusing).
This particular piece made me think of SNL at it’s best:


Videogame experts say the big blockbuster this Christmas season will be “Canada: The Hunt for Cheap Prescription Drugs.” It’s a highly stylized version of Canada that’s imagined from the perspective of senior citizens on a charter bus, trying to head north of the border to get affordable medication.
“The scope of the game’s virtual reality – the extraordinary size of the cities and landscapes that you can smoothly traverse – is almost startling,” says Portman. “Its ultimate power is the sensation it creates of pulling you inside a sprawling fictional world. Moreover, the story’s atmosphere is incredibly rich.
” The game is challenging for players as forces sent by the U.S. President try to stop the bus from reaching its destination to get cheap Lipitor, Celebrex and other medications.
“This is a breakthrough game,” says Portman. “Players can program the game so that an alarm goes off reminding them when to take their back pills. This is truly interactive.