Philisophical Question Regarding Friends

While procrastinating today and taking a break from studying torts (that is, playing Peggle), a question rose in my mind that has begun to trouble me. Now, I have a standard set of friends at law school with whom I spend most of my free time. The majority of them are male, but there are a few female friends, one of whom I am actually quite good friends with. Lovely young lass and all that.

While eating lunch today, she asked me “WHY DO YOU SAY STUFF LIKE THAT AROUND ME?!” It wasn’t even that bad of a comment. I forget what it was. Maybe it was a dead baby joke. Anyway, my response was “Because you’re one of the guys.” The other guys chimed in saying stuff like “Yeah, we know you’re in a serious relationship and aren’t trying to pursue you, so we can make guy comments around you.” Really, she is just one of the guys. She’s just lacking, you know, a penis. Or so I assume. I haven’t seen her naked.

Anyway, we all know the old saying “Bros before hos” (or pals before gals if you do not like offensive language). It of course means you should put your guy friends ahead of the women you desire. After all, they are only women. But the deeper male friendships last forever. Plus the guy was totally your friend first. Or so the reasoning goes.

Now, let us assume that Bros Before Hos is a good doctrine. Let’s not debate its merits (well you can if you want. I’m sure SG will have something to say on the matter). However, when you have really good female friends, ones that you honestly consider “one of the guys,” should they be classified as bros in this sense? Should they get the special Bros Before Hos status that lets them say “Yo, your bitch be trippin’ and needs to let you hang out with us more?”

Or do they not get bro status? Now, I can understand the Ho being mad at you for spending excessive time with another female. That’s already been discussed in that old thread made by whoever that person that was talking with the Deli Meats Mistress or whatever. I don’t mean exclusive time with just the female would-be Bro. But like, let’s say you were gonna spend time with the Ho over the Bros, can the female Bro invoke the Bros Before Hos doctrine? Or is she not allowed because she’s female and inherently not a Bro?

Basically, must a Bro be male? Or can a “one of the guys” woman be a Bro?

Girls can be part of the group but its typically unusual for the simple reason that most guys will want to put their penises in her vagina anyway, as per the ladder theory. The flipside of guys being part of a girls group. Its unusual. Unless the guy is gay.

Ultimately none of it matters for the simple reason that most relationships are born of convenience and once things become inconvenient, you see where people’s true colors lie. If you’re ok with that kind of bullshit, then have fun getting tossed around like a piece of meat.

“One of the guys” women can be treated like that. I pretty much treat all my female friends like that.

Basically, must a Bro be male? Or can a “one of the guys” woman be a Bro?

Sometimes. It really depends on what her personality is like. If a girl has a more assertive, insensitive personality, she probably wouldn’t have any trouble hanging with the guys, and they wouldn’t have any trouble accepting her. I think it has more to do with personality than looks, to tell you the truth, since a girl with a more masculine personality would probably be able to keep guys away from her.

That’s different than what I’m asking. A woman being one of the guys clearly means she has no trouble hanging out with the guys. What I mean is, can a woman have that special status that Bros have that enables them to invoke the Bros Before Hos doctrine?

Also, Sin, for some reason I read that as judging me. This was actually a purely hypothetical question. I am neither in a relationship nor have had a woman try to invoke Bros Before Hos on me. I merely wonder in general if a One of the Guys Woman can attain Bro status as it applies to Bros Before Hos.

Ez brings up an interesting point though. Must a Ho be female? Or can, in the case of gay guys, the friends of the Cockmungler invoke Bros Before Hos to keep him from visiting his gay lover? I would say yes. I imagine then that if a Ho can be male, Bros can potentially be female. It’s only fair, after all. Maybe provisional status with lesser Bro rights but Bro rights nonetheless?

Back in college I was one of the Bros until one Ho in particular came along; she took issue with my being a Bro of her boyfriend regardless of whether I happened to be seeing someone myself. For that instance, it ended up Ho Before Bro. A woman can be a Bro until the wrong Ho enters the picture (well, that’s how I see it, because our friendship was never the same after her). :smiley:

I see SG is viewing also, so I’m looking forward to his reply.

I don’t think my philosophy is all too profound. I just do my best not to treat people differently based on their gender. Obviously, you can’t do this 100%, nor 100% of the time, so I just make an active effort to treat someone different on a person-to-person basis, not whether or not they are a single woman. I do my best not to let someone’s gender or relationship status, nor they people who I’m around dictate whether or not I act like myself or say and do the things that I want. So far, it has worked out pretty well for me.

The “one of the guys” kind of girls are typically immune to such commentary because they had several older brothers. Lacking the siblings leads to a not so one of the guys gal.

Sorry , I wasn’t coming out to judge you.

My point is that yes Hos can be “bros” but its infrequent, just as the converse is infrequent. Its like women in engineering are more likely to be bros for the simple reason that they are men with tits. However, there comes the ladder theory to make things more complicated but depending on the availability status of the bros and the rankings of their partners vs that of the ho in question, you get variability. If the girl’s a dog and the guys’ gfs are hot bitches, the probablity of the girl being a bro are high. However, if the ho in question is a walking estrogen dispenser and the bros are fat nerds, good fucking luck (though such a match is unlikely).

The note about meat refers to the fact that its probably not worth even engaging in the debates of bros or hos as ultimately prioritization becomes obvious only at the time of the challenge and not before and that human nature makes it such that the outcome will disapoint.

Just one simple rule to follow:

Don’t talk about your penis when one of the “guy gals” is around. Don’t talk about your bleeding vagina when one of the “gal guys” is around.

If she is offended by something else, then I think it’s more of a case that she has a different sense of humor from you, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with your gender. I’m sure there are plenty of guys out there who might also be offended by a dead baby joke…though perhaps a lady might be more prone to make her offended feelings hurt. Nevertheless, I know it’s the 21st century and all, and men and women have achieved perfect equality…cough…but I still try to tone it down a bit when one of the gals is around, esp. if it’s one of my friend’s girlfriends (or wives…God we’re getting old). Don’t forget…the key to the land of milk and honey more often than not lies through the female contacts that you are not sexually attracted to. And if they think you’re a good guy…well word does get around quickly with those girls.

She subsequently made a dead baby joke herself.

That’s a very good point. I myself always found dirty jokes distasteful, and I’m a guy. But still, you can generalize things about gender(remember the old thread about how testosterone/estrogen ratio effects behavior?), even if it doesn’t apply to everyone. Most girls probably do find those kinds of comments unwanted.

lmao off about the last comment. groups of women do seem to have this sort of “let’s all jump on the one guy who manages to get laid with one of us” mentality.

They tried this already. >> I told them it’s not a big deal, since I don’t see them very often. << (Them being the “hoes”.)

Broettes for the win.

Also, I’d like to throw out Chicks before Dicks (and Sistas before Mistas, its less profane equivalent), as the situation in reverse, so that terminology may be present for the discussion.

scientific friendships


My friend groups pretty much have just as many girls in this as they do guys

I’ll let you guys know what my opinion is on the matter once I get some friends.

I have a feeling that women have their own social standards which differ from the Bros Before Hos mentality. They just don’t share it and make it as well known at-large because women are evil, vindictive, secret, and catty. So, I don’t know if Chicks Before Dicks is an applicable title.

I’ve read the word ‘Bro’ more times in this thread then I’ve ever desired to.

Also, she’s good. If she’s one of the “guys” she can be classified as a “bro” right? She only goes from being one of the guys/bros to being a gal/ho when you gain some kind of romantic interest in here and she ascends your ladder of interest.

Originally Posted by Crotanks

[QUOTE]Originally Posted by Rinn View Post
I’ve read the word ‘Bro’ more times in this thread then I’ve ever desired to.

Preppy pricks post pussy pornos of personal penetration for purely pathetic posturing or peer pressure.