Recently, there has been an increase in the Al Urqaeda chatter networks. There appears to be an increase in interest of Uriel too. We even have reliable information that a new Uriel sleeper cell has cemented itself in our site and may be planning to strike at any time. Therefore, we are upgrading the Uriel Alert status from its previous level of Yellow Dog Democrat Alert, a High Risk of Uriel Attacks, to Tutti Fruity Alert, a Severe Risk of Uriel Attacks.
With this recent increase, we request that you, our forum goers, be ever more vigilant. Watch out for Uriels, for they may strike at any time and have chosen to hide amongst you. Also, liquids are no longer permitted on the site; we believe the Uriels may be planning to use them as a kind of liquid bomb to create lighter colors. Despite this all, our site shall persevere.
Please, go about your forum business as usual. If we cannot post in peace, then the Uriels have already won. For any questions, please consult your handy dandy Website Security graph.
Man, I forgot who Uriel even was. All I know is that he posted here. Why does he get his own alert thread? I thought only staff members got their own alert threads. This should be in the all purpose generic-poster alert thread… no offense to rountree.
More fascist lies to keep the proletariat down! We will rise above you oppressor swine pigs!
You wave your baton at those below while you get fat off of the meat you suck from our bones, but someday, we will be the ones sucking on your bones, and you oppressors will know how it feels to have your bones sucked dry!