Official Uriel Alert Status Upgrade

Attention all Forum Goers:

Recently, there has been an increase in the Al Urqaeda chatter networks. There appears to be an increase in interest of Uriel too. We even have reliable information that a new Uriel sleeper cell has cemented itself in our site and may be planning to strike at any time. Therefore, we are upgrading the Uriel Alert status from its previous level of Yellow Dog Democrat Alert, a High Risk of Uriel Attacks, to Tutti Fruity Alert, a Severe Risk of Uriel Attacks.

With this recent increase, we request that you, our forum goers, be ever more vigilant. Watch out for Uriels, for they may strike at any time and have chosen to hide amongst you. Also, liquids are no longer permitted on the site; we believe the Uriels may be planning to use them as a kind of liquid bomb to create lighter colors. Despite this all, our site shall persevere.

Please, go about your forum business as usual. If we cannot post in peace, then the Uriels have already won. For any questions, please consult your handy dandy Website Security graph.

Thank you, and Rast bless RPG.

You’re still doing this?

Of course we’re still doing this. The public must remain informed of the dangers of Uriel. If we don’t our site shall grow content and lazy in its vigilance. If that happens, then the Uriels have won.

I find your comments to be almost… Traitorous. Expect to meet an ice pick wielding tribunal in the near future.

Man, I forgot who Uriel even was. All I know is that he posted here. Why does he get his own alert thread? I thought only staff members got their own alert threads. This should be in the all purpose generic-poster alert thread… no offense to rountree.

You obviously didn’t know who Uriel was to begin with.

why is yellow a higher threat level than red?

It’s a brighter colour perhaps?

Tutti Fruity more accurately resembles his gayitude.

If that lighter-colored liquid bomb explodes, our site may load too quickly for our computers to handle. Beware!

Ding ding ding ding ding!

Because the higher the threat level, the more urgent it is to notify all citizens, and everyone knows brighter colours load faster.

Also where is your purple-megaman-head-slapped-on-a-tux avatar 984?

I never had an avatar like that. I had one of my head slapped on Tom Ridge’s body.

lets raid his irc channel again, that was fun.

I came too late to see the horror of his first attacks. Tell me why I should be afraid, old man!

I only remember his insistence that brighter colours loaded faster on the internet, that’s why he made his site with the brightest colours imaginable. The other stuff must have been on the chat.

You could search the member list for his profile and then click on the threads he’s made.

I did search, and I found out a terrible truth!

The fascist pig-dog regime of the oppressor The 984 uses lies for murder! Behind the guys of this ‘Uriel’ he steps up alerts, limits our posting rights, and kills innocent forumers, like Steve!

The truth was bound to come out, you tyrants, and now it did and your little totalitarian lid is blown: There is no Uriel. It’s all a lie made up by the man.

OH GOD MY SCREEN IS PINK HELP HES RAPING ME

Banned users don’t show up on the user memberlist.

Do a google search for Uriel + rpgclassics.

More fascist lies to keep the proletariat down! We will rise above you oppressor swine pigs!
You wave your baton at those below while you get fat off of the meat you suck from our bones, but someday, we will be the ones sucking on your bones, and you oppressors will know how it feels to have your bones sucked dry!