New story plot tease stuff

This is the planning for a story I’m working on. I’ve forgotten a lot of the plot from when I was young but will try my best to make this a very good work. I have a map of the solar system but it’s a bmp and decided not to put it up. I’m just looking for feedback on what I’ve got so far.

Planets: Outer Planet: Not much is known about this planet. It is beyond the solar winds but still receives light from the sun. Was first seen through telescopes shortly before the first IPW

Dark planet 1: Previously known as Cyldaris 2. Was captured by the Dark Imperials as soon as they acheived spaceflight.

Dark planet 2: Previously known as Neo Vidtron. Was captured from the Videorenes after the inter planetary war.

Vidtron: Homeword of the Videorenes. The Dark Empire has a small hold on the western continent.

Starkon: Home of the Starkons. Were fooled into sided with the Dark Empire for the beginning of the IPW but realized they were lied to and switched sides turning the tides. Hold a deep grudge againt the Dark Empire.

Dark Empirial Homeworld: Once the most beautiful of all the planets in Cyldaris is now the ugliest. The Dark Empire completely exhausted all the natural resources and are constantly striving to find new sources.

Dark Star: Super fortress of the Dark Empire capable of withstanding any assualt by the current forces. Is one of the biggest causes of strife between planets.

Sun: Is a Gas Giant 3 times the size of Earths sun.

Races: Videorenes: These curious people strive to improve their lives through the use of technology. They implant themselves with implants from the day they are born and have strived to master the use of various magics. Their people have not devoted large resources to military forces untill just reacently. Videorenes evolved on a highly radioactive planet. Their bodies are often extremly strange in colour. They have crystals on their forehead that come in green blue yellow red and very rarely clear(white) or purple. Their skin colours follow the same patterns only slightly different shades and purple is quite common. Their hairs follow the same pattern as the skin but prefer reds or blues. 

Starkon: This species is very isolated. The extreme heat of their planet has made it a miracle that life was able to evolve. Their species needs nothing but light to survive. They can store enough of this energy to last for months. They are able to release this energy in the form of Star magic which they use on a day to day basis. Their fleet are the most advanced in the system but are very lacking in number. Starkons emit a faint light from their pale skin that makes it nearly impossible to hide without using a technique they’ve developed to make themselves completely invisible. They have slightly greyish hair that stops growing once it reaches a length that varies per Starkon but will grow back if cut.

Dark Imperials: This is a race of warriors who have been raised to be as greedy as possible. They are very loyal to their own kind but have no problem exploiting the other races of their solar system. Early on in their history 1 nation had conquered the planet and after many years of this rule forgot the name they had given to their race simply calling themselves the Dark Imperials. The technologies they use leave a dark stain on all the planets they inhabit. Dark Imperials are grey skinned with eyes that have reds instead of whites. The rest of their eyes are similar to that of humans.

<center>Plot tease: Vidtron. End of the first IPW. Village of Enacrone</center>

A man with colourful clothes, pale greenish skin, and Dark Blue hair looks at the village from the outskirts his misty blue crystal drawing light in making him look dark, “Hmm. Sending me after the Videomaster and his son is a pathetic job. This village has no defences whatsoever. This is what the grunts are for but there’s no use arguing with the Emperor. So which of the houses is the Videomaster’s? I suppose It doesn’t matter I’m going to burn them all to the ground anyway."

The Man charges into the village and holds up his hand, “Burn.” The nearest house bursts into flames. Villagers notice and run over to help but the man sees them, “Rot.” A dark cloud envelopes them and yellow energy starts stripping away their flesh. He turns to a group of houses, “Fry.” A wave of fire radiates from the middle house setting them all on fire. The man laughs and looks at the final house, “Hmm, This must be the place he lives. He always was one for simplicity.”

<center>Inside the house</center>

A Green skinned Videorene with pink hair is holding a baby in her arms. 2 men apearing to be father and son are looking at it. The son looks at his father, “Solor. I don’t think I can win. I want you to take Sarai and Seth and get them to safety. I’ll hold Galron off.”

The Woman looks at him pleading, “Ark, no you can’t.” A tear falls from her eye.

And that’s all youse getting.

Sounds like it could get interesting. I think you should try to work around those “Inside of the house” type headlines, it disrupts the pace of the story for a bit.