New Carcinogen Discovered

Working the night shift.

Maybe it’d be easier to list things that don’t cause cancer.

Sounds like this would be solved if we used a better artificial light that mimicked sunlight. Oh, but wait, that causes cancer too.

Does walking cause cancer yet?

If you’re walking through a particularly radioactive part of Chernobyl, in smog, or on a sunny day, yes.

If that were true, I’d be dead and buried by now. My job allows me to choose when I want to work (as long as I do a given amount of hours eveyr week). Guess which part of the day I pick on most days?

And as you guys said, everything is carcinogenic these days. From what I remember, oxygen damages cells and their DNA, yet we need to breath it in order to live. So there.

I’ve stopped paying attention to these things. There are a very small number of things that cause cancer in a very big way (smoking being number one). The rest are just living.

This just in. Certain unnamed studies show that eating, breathing, sleeping, and being born are all causes of every type of cancer known to man (along with a few that aren’t known like flickogleamia).

Soon they’ll start saying that having premarital sex in the restroom of a fast food establishment will cause cancer and birth defects.

(Also, for some reason I don’t think the Philadelphia Inquirer is a very reliable source for anything more than lotto numbers. Even their Zodiac fortunes seem much less reliable compared to most sources.)

Mating with Setz in general probably causes birth defects

They (not the Inquirer) did find out that drinking tap water can cause bladder cancer. The sediments that build up naturally in pipes contribute to dissolved minerals and stuff as water passes through them.

Wait, I got cancer from my KFC Sex, Killmore? Damn you, alternate identity as Setz! Damn you to hell!

Everything that isn’t nailed down causes cancer, and so do nails.

You forgot down.

But she was so pretty…

Does pretty cause cancer too? :bowser:

Originally Posted by KexMex
Does pretty cause cancer too?:bowser:

Yes! Yes it does. And so does not being pretty. Also ugly but the risk isn’t nearly as high. In fact maiming yourself is known to lower the risk of cancer. SPOILER[/SPOILER]