My Own Absolute Fucking Stupidity

I’ve decided to tell you all about an event that happened yesterday, even though I know that several of you will mock me or at least think less of me when I tell you this. It is more important to me that you all hear this so that none of you lose control like I did. Here goes:

I was driving on the way from work at about sixty miles an hour (in a sixty five speed limit) in the slow lane when this motorcycle cuts me off and starts going about fourty miles an hour. I get aggravated, and pull left to pass him, but he sped up and then (again) pulled in front of me and slowed down significantly. I was really pissed off, but I just went back into the slow lane so that people could beep at him in the passing lane. Eventually he speeds up and goes away. This other car, however, does the exact same thing to me. I’m not exactly sure why… I’m guessing he saw what happened with the motorcycle, and thought that I was being an asshole, so he showed me who was boss, or whatever. Well, I (again) moved into the passing lane, at this point extremely angry, and started speeding. The bastard started going very fast, then pulled in front of me and jammed on the breaks.

This was when I did the stupidest, and most dangerous thing that I have done in my entire life. I got filled with so much ANGER that I started going eighty. Ninety. One hundred… up to more than one hundred and twenty- and this bastard was keeping up with me. I’ve never gone that speed in my life and I never, EVER will again in my entire life. The next thing I know, this fucking psycho runs me off the road. I tap the break only a little bit, and the next thing I know I’m spinning out in the middle of the highway. I almost hit a pole, and luckily nobody got hurt and I stopped at the side of the road. Immediately, a volunteer firefighter from Mechanicstown (which is very near where I live) got out and helped me. I was very shaken, and more scared than I ever had been in my life. I was shocked that I spun out, and shocked by the fact that I got out without a fucking scratch on myself or my car of course. But I was fucking astounded by how profoundly stupid that I was.

I know that driving that fast is retardedly dangerous, and I even fucking laughed at people that bragged about pulling that sort of stupid shit… but I pretty much tried to drag race a psychopath in a fucking highway. Yeah. Great job. I’m extremely lucky to be alive today, but that isn’t the whole point of this message.

Having almost died for the first time in my life, I have realized that I have spent my life doing nothing. I have wasted it with playing games, sitting on my ass, and generally being idle. While it’s okay to have fun once in a while, I have consistently neglected important things instead of fun things. Don’t misunderstand me, fun things are important, too- but I let sloth consume my LIFE. If I had died, what would be said at my funeral? That he was a weird kid that didn’t do much? I won’t fucking have it. Instead of just talking about doing shit, I’m going to DO it- for the sake of my happy survival. I suppose that this is only tangentally related to my self-inflicted mishap, but it is important to note. I have been spending my time on money on things I did not need when I have things in my future that I want to attend to: my education, my girlfriend, moving out of my parent’s house (hopefully, in January)… if I don’t budget my time and money than my future will be as unfulfilling as my present is.

Secondly, and even more importantly, I CANNOT get that angry again. So many of my problems have stemmed from my short and volatile temper. While I have never raised my hand to anyone, I have screamed and shouted and gone basically… well… insane with rage. I have been saved by lucky coincidences for too fucking long. I cannot rely on luck or the Grace of God or whatever the fuck you want to call it. I have to learn to calm myself. I’m not sure how to do it, but I’ve never tried before in my life, because I figured it was a harmless quirk, since I never (physically) hurt anybody before in one of these losses of temper. I’m sure that starting my physical education classes on monday should help me a little bit, since I really do not exert myself very much, but that is clearly not enough. Perhaps I should take anger management training or something… I dunno. And I guess this is really why I posted this. What should I do about it? And no- committing me is not a viable option. I am determined to be great at something, and an insane asylum would not be fitting at all. Sorry.

And if you wish to insult me and call me stupid, rest assured that this shall not affect me, for I have berated myself ever since the event happened.

Take advantage of this oppurtunity you have received. This was obviously a learning experience.

You should start exercising, it’ll help calm you down. I’ve started exercising a lot more recently (I’ve been doing stuff everyday for about a week so far) and I’m feeling much better. I’ve been prettyd epressed all summer, but I’ve been feeling better since I started exercising, maybe you should give it a shot.

I guess you could look at that as a wake up call. Sometimes it takes a scare like that for people to rethink a few things. I just suggest that you take action while that feeling is so strongly present, so you won’t lose the impulse.

All I can say is keep this motivation burning. Don’t let it die out and fall back into old habits.

tl;dr

You dont need anger manegment(SP). You just got a sudden burst of anger, which could have ended your life, but thats not the point. The point is, everyone eventually has there days. I seem like the calm type at school, all the teachers know me as a good kid, one that wouldnt do anything bad like most of the dip shits at my school. One day, we were playing a game when my so called friend, bugged me to a point where i just snapped. I screamed at the top of my lungs for him to freakin stop(Cant swear at my school) and so on so forth, i cant remember really what i said, but he got the hint, teachers never looked at me as a calm kid any more, and i didnt get in trouble…HURRAY!!! It happens dude, dont worry about it too much, or paranoia will destroy ya.

You need anger management

Write a letter to your congressman about driver’s test standards, then stop being so angry.

whenever I get really mad I like to take long deep breaths to calm me down. I do that for 2 reasons. 1. whenever i’m really angry I tend to forget to breath…what? it happens. and 2. it just helps. I’m not real clear about the science stuff but from what i’ve heard deep breathing give off this feeling of relief. Like taking a leak after holding it for a long time.

:moogle:

Anger management wouldn’t be a bad idea. Always getting really ticked is bad for your health.

Carry a gun in your glove box. That way, when you get really really mad, you don’t have to resort to speeding.

Yup. Thats my advice.

First of all, I’m glad you’re OK, GAP. Second, you’re an incredibly lucky bastard in that not only you didn’t get hurt, but didn’t hurt anybody else- or even damaged your car! And third, yes, I think you need anger management. While people lose their cool sooner or later, most of the time they don’t do it in the middle of a risky situation like driving. Besides, you have been telling us about your issues for a while now. Joining a program would, at the very least, help you identify WHAT causes you to lose your cool so you can deal with it.

I suspect that you’ll come out of this experience a better person. Best wishes.

Anger is bad for your liver. But sometimes it happens anyway. You only need to resort to anger management if it keeps happening.

I DONT NEED ANYTHING!!!Ok…maybe i do.

I think he needs shut up management, lol cless amirite

You are one lucky bastard.

Like others said before anger management will help you identify things that set you off, but it seems you have some control already because the first thing you did after those guys pulled in front of you was switch lanes.

Good thing you didn’t get hurt. Nor anyone else, for that matter! Now, maybe you need anger management, because that is kind of ridiculous… “oh no, this driver is being a jerk, just like all the other drivers! I better fight back with something really stupid like speeding MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”, but eh I don’t know about anger management, man. I think you just need to start doing some more creative things, and excerising like someone suggested. The exercising will keep your body fit, plus it will give you something to put your mind to. As for the creative thing, well you should do some more writing, man. I know you like to write, and I usually find that when I’m stressed and I do something that I love doing(like playing guitar or drawing), then I feel way better afterwards, or atleast I’m able to cope with it. Maybe you could try picking up the guitar or something, that can be a good relaxer. Although mind you it could be fairly tedius at first if you’ve never played before.

So yeah, just take it easy, man. Be glad that you got away unhurt and without hurting others, and look forward to hanging out with your girlfriend and going to college.

No, no, no. You don’t need anger management at all. I mean, if a motorcyclist just cut me off and started going really slowly I would be extremely agravated (Not that I can drive or anything). But now that a second dude has seen it and does the same thing, I really don’t blame you. I mean who wouldn’t be extremely pissed off. Shit happens. So do accidents. It happens to the best of us. Sometimes you just stop thinking about exactly what you are doing because you just get into a blind fury. Look all you have to do, next time you get extremely angry, calm your mind. Think about when you were writing this post. Think about what you said “You have got to calm down, not only for your own good, but for the sake of others as well.” Once your mind is calm, change the subject completely. Go back to anything you find cheerful in your mind, and act happy, as if nothing has happened. Busy yourself with something else to distract your mind. This works EVERY time for me, weather I am extremely agravated or just a little ticked off. Try it out…

You lucky sod. Don’t let the newfound motivation die, it would be such a waste to see it, well, waste.