Chapter 3: Kung Fu Hermit
Pierson, Hades, and Dai forgot why they wanted to travel to Blumeberg, so they decided to leave and go north, seeking out new adventures.
There was nothing but farmland for miles, and Hades was tired of walking. “Hey guys, I’m gonna rest for a bit. You go on without me. I’ll catch up.”
So Hades was sitting on the road, when a really hot girl peeked out from behind one of the corn fields. “Hey, can you come here for a second? I need some help!”
Hades, excited to help out this totally hot girl, walked over and disappeared behind rows of corn. When they were deep into the field, out of sight of any passerby, the girl stopped.
She turned around, “Please, make love to me!”
“Because I need a break from my grandfather’s strict rules! He puts me through torture and I need to get away from it for a bit, and maybe have a hot, sweaty lovemaking session too.”
So five minutes of intense copulation later, sure enough, her grandfather catches Hades taking advantage of her offer.
“You!? What are you doing to her!?”
“Uh, nothing Sir! I’m sorry!” Hades pulled his pants up.
“This is an outrage!” the furious old man boiled. “I challenge you to a duel for my grand-daughter’s honor!”
“And just what do you think you can do to me, old-” but before Hades could finish his sentence, the old man was behind him, sweep-kicking his legs from under him. Hades collapsed to the ground. “Wow, you must teach me this fighting style!”
“And just what makes you think you are worthy!? Oh never mind, I’m bored. Let’s go!”
So the three walked to the old man’s makeshift Dojo, and two weeks later…
“I have Finally mastered some of your techniques!” Hades was content. “But I must catch up with my friends now. I told them I’d be right back over two weeks ago.”
“Alright. you are a worthy student!” the Kung Fu hermit said.
But just then there was a thundering roar from outside.
“Uh oh, he’s back!” the hot girl was shocked.
“Who’s back?” Hades was confused. They ran outside and saw a giant demon terrorizing the country side. He was burning fields with his fire breath and biting livestock into the next world with his massive fangs! “Oh, HE’S the one who’s back!”
“Shut up! You’ve never seen him before in your life!” the hermit was annoyed. “Quick, if we all team up we can beat him with our Kung Fu!”
So Hades and the old man started throwing rocks at the demon. “This isn’t working!” Hades was worried.
But just then, the hermit’s grand-daughter pulled out a pole with a chain on the end. On the end of the chain was a chinese long sword.
“Whoa! That’s the most badass weapon I’ve EVER seen!” Hades was ecstatic.
The girl ran toward the demon swinging the chain-sword-on-a-pole furiously. She parried his claws and dodged his teeth and cut the demon’s throat. After an absurdly long death scene which involved blood spraying out of the demon’s neck violently, peace was restored to the country side.
“Well, looks like I’ll be on my way!” Hades stated ominously. “By the way, what’s your name, miss?”
“Evangelion, and I’m coming with you!” she said.
“Okay.” Hades wasn’t complaining.
A few days later they caught up with Pierson and Dai.
“Where have you been?” Dai wondered.
“An old hermit taught me some Kung Fu and gave me his grand-daughter, Evangelion.” Hades englightened them.
“Cool.” Pierson said and the four of them pondered their next adventure.
TO BE CONTINUED…