Riiight… Some of you guys may remember I work with computer security. Safe software development, but I want to become a hacker hunter someday too. So, whenever I see stuff related to the topic, I have to read it.
Recently there’s been a great demand for security-related material here. MSDN (Microsoft Developer Network) responded in a way that’s… Let’s say, not very professional.
So, today I opened my mailbox and there was an email with “Confidential” written in the title. Actually, the whole title goes “confidential message from MSDN - keep a low profile when opening”.
Right, in the first second my reaction was a complete “WTF!”. So I went and opened the email. A huge image loaded. I’m showing you the part that has a drawing:
So I said to myself: “what, MSDN is into making games now? I thought that was with Microsoft Game Studios”.
The message follows like this (I’m copying the email’s formatting):
<table width=600><tr><th bgcolor=#000000>[b]Hey, pal.
My name is Dr. Gib. A stranger for you.
This is our first contact. Top Secret. And I hope you keep it so, pal.
I am the Master Leader of NET PROTECTOR. And I have been keeping an eye on you for some time.
Chaos has made its way into the HyperSafe world: we are being threatened by a gang of otakus and zippies, scums of society.
A [color=yellow]SAFE ARMY has been assembled. Under my command. To exterminate them one by one. And you have been chosen.
If you want to meet us, click here* and SEARCH for NET PROTECTOR.
But keep this as our little secret. Otherwise we will face grave consequences.
The code is camouflaged. A Grade III intelligence test.
We know what you are capable of, pal.[/COLOR][/b]</th></tr></table>
*this was a link to MSDN with a query string in the URL.
No, I’m not kidding.
Checking the link and following the instructions, I got into a page that had a nine questions survey about how Microsoft deals with security. You know, about fixing safety breaches in Windows, releasing tools for malware removal, Windows Update etc.
And it was written in the very same style as the message above, but more random and making even less sense. One of the questions was “Associating itself with other armies is a CyberWar tatic used by NET PROTECTOR. How do you evaluate the safety of Microsoft’s technologies?”.
Just by the side of the survey there was another message:
<table width=600><tr><th bgcolor=#000000>[b]Hey, pal.
This is our second contact - Top confidential.
Net Protector is assembling an army with special abilities to undermine the attacks of REVIAN*: a gang lead by 3 ex-combatants of Takashida’s CyberWar.
They have installed chips in the brains of thousands of cypherpunks, otakus and zippies, in order to dominate the HyperSafe world.
You passed the first test, pal. Now our database will collect info to provide you with your [color=yellow]survival equipment.
Dr. Gib
[/COLOR][/b]</th></tr>
</table>
*I wonder if this is a stupid reference to Debian
My two cents:
For one thing, I’ve received all kinds of email from Microsoft, but this is by far the most retarded one.
I mean, most security specialists are way more mature than that. I like detective stories and all, but a 22-year-old guy who aims to make a serious name in the world of computer business being called pal like that and being introduced to a debased conspiracy story a la John Nash is just wrong in more levels than I can count.
And when we want security material, we expect to get books and articles with all that technical mumbo-jumbo that would make mortals yawn.
If Microsoft trains its security staff with this kind of material, then all of Windows’s breaches are explained.
On another note, Microsoft is now officially pursuing otakus with a seek-and-destroy covert operation. You guys run and hide for your lives. I don’t know what will happen to my or my family for leaking this secret, so if you never see me again, know that I enjoyed all the time I spent here. It was nice to meet you, fellow RPGC’ers.
I was wondering the same thing. the only zippy I can think of is this.