Mass Effect Offers Customizable Sodomy

Or so they say.

slow clap

It’s called “Mass Effect” and it allows its players… to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived. One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to “engage” and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game “persons” hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of…

You wish, Mr. Whatsyourname.

How refreshing would it be for a President to… put his pen and signature to a bill that dealt with such egregious fuckwitted bandwagon jumpers, screwing their bank balances so badly that they would never recover from it?

Answer: very.

Couldn’t Bioware sue this guy?

Sadly, politicians just hide behind their “right to free speech”, tons of money and big lawyers, while suing others that do the same but have little to no money and lawyers.

Note to self: Sue this fucker for false advertising.

And now Fox News weighs in on this issue. At least they got Geoff Keighley instead of Jack Thompson but shut Geoff down pretty quickly.

“This makes me feel old. What happened to Atari and pinball?”


You know what, all this critics are right. Why, watching a few seconds of strictly man-on-alien action with tons of quick cuts and very little actual tittulation has turned me from a wholesome little boy to a deranged pervert with a desire to hunt down and rape every man, woman and child I see. Thank you, media watchdog groups, for saving our little brains from the horrible M-rated game that shouldn’t even be in the hands of anyone under the age of 17 anyway!

(In case you didn’t notice, that was sarcasm. This guy’s just another uniformed dick, after all.)

Sadly though. His ploy has worked. And now he’s getting far more attention from this one act then this two bit politician would’ve, could’ve, or should’ve gotten in his entire lifetime.

It’s just sad.

Thanks GG, that made my day. :slight_smile:

PS: Shit on a biscuit is my new favourite saying. O_o

… I hadn’t noticed the “Todays bands are broader than ever” line until now for some reason. XD

And, of course, <strike>The Right-Wing Talking Head Show</strike> errr… FOX News weighed in on the subject.

I am suprised at the fact that they would dare dig into something without carefully researching it or at least learning something about the game.


Edit: Oh wait, ninja’d. I THOUGHT someone posted that link, but missed it when I looked through again. Oh well.

EA’s VP of communications chimed in and sent a letter to FOX asking them to retract the comments because they mischaracterized the product.

Oh, I’ve been calling it Faux News for ages now.

Yeah, I saw this. Could this lead to a fight between EA and FOX? If it does, it’s going to get fun!

She may have been from the New York Times, but she got exactly what she deserved.

I hope the rest of Satan’s puppets get theirs’ too.