Like somthing out of Jack Handy

Ok, I went to Chuck-E-Cheeses today, with my sister and her children. When I left, there was a dying rat/mouse/Muad Dib thingy. so I was all “look kids, Chucky Cheese is dying.”

You’re evil Charl. Though It must have been pretty funny to see everyone’s faces.


He shoulda known better than to get in on the arcade mafia…no one defies the arcade mafia with attracting kids with pizza and old games which suck ass.

Reminds me of when my older brother colored the Timbertoes (from Highlights for Kids) in red. He said that it was blood, and that he killed them. (Didn’t fool me, though.)

I once told Jessica that I killed Pikachu. Then I showed her that pic from FARTS with Bahamut eating Pikachu (Censored). I had to hug her for two hours and pray for forgiveness to stop her from crying ;_;

I really should’ve been torturing the little kids like that…:frowning:


Yeah, torturing children is great. I just wish they were younger, the younger they are, the more gullible they are.

Wow, I just feel bad for telling them that Santa doesn’t exist.

/me writes this stuff down.

I’ll tell them that santa died because they been so bad.


When using them as a sample of the goodness and love in children’s hearts, he saw them, and despaired.

What good could he be if all his efforts only produced the worst of brats?

With tears of dissappointment, he threw himself from his sled, committing suicide over those little deliquents…

And who is Jack Handy, and Chuck E. Cheese?

I like revealing to children, the younger the better, that Santa is really just their dad: Who’s gone a tad bit crazy, is drunk on Christmas beer, and become a communist. That way I get all their presents, because they’ve been told not to accept gifts from crazy, drunk, or communistic people. nod, nod

If memory serves, Jack Handey is a man who shared his “Deep Thougts” on SNL. Here’s a sample…

“Why can’t ants and caterpillars get along? One eats leaves, the other eats caterpillars…oh, wait, I see now.”