Life Begins And Ends At 14, Apparently..

Hormones can cause that… Puberty is a time of change, of uncertainty. People start doubting their own abilities, wondering if they’re good enoug.

Originally posted by Zero
And some people DO suffer from bipolar disorder Manus, and need medication so that they don’t feel like crap for absolutely no reason at all.

Or shoot themselves in the face. As I understand it, people with untreated bipolar disorders have a much higher rate of suicide than other demographics.

Originally posted by RoguePaladinTrian
Or shoot themselves in the face. As I understand it, people with untreated bipolar disorders have a much higher rate of suicide than other demographics.

That they do, mostly because they don’t get the treatment they’d need and feel it’s all their fault or something, it’s only been accepted as a medical anomaly lately, like chronic depression.

Well he’s sure as hell not suicidal…always worried about the impression he gives off to other people…a guy who wants to appear valiant as if he defied all odds.Like he wants to…prove that he’s something to other people.Yes, don’t we all want to do that, but he’s more of a leading male character in an FF game, as I’d like to see it…hehe.

Bah, all teenagers have problems with maturing and all that, it’s not such a big deal. I went trough that and one day I just sat down and thought about it and I just figured out how stupid it was to worry. We’re still young and there is time to feel miserable when life gives us REAL problems.

I went throught that a year ago I’m fine now.

SE said it all. I did the same thing back in my 13’s - 14’s.

Originally posted by Evangelion
Well he’s sure as hell not suicidal…always worried about the impression he gives off to other people…a guy who wants to appear valiant as if he defied all odds.Like he wants to…prove that he’s something to other people.Yes, don’t we all want to do that, but he’s more of a leading male character in an FF game, as I’d like to see it…hehe.

There you go, that’s his prob. He wants to prove himself and come out to others as something he’s not, low selfesteem. He can seem fine at times but a failure or insult at school as minor as it may be and his selfesteem is shot down six feet under.

At least, that’s what I figure.

I see a trend here;) I needn’t worry about Justin then

Feeling you have to prove yourself to other people reeks of indirectly addressing your inadequacies. This is the how-manieth time we’ve come back to your friend’s lack of self-confidence? The diagnosis is that simple. Suggesting a surefire cure is probably over many of our heads.

Yes I realize that now…:fungah:

I get clues here and there, from your descriptions, and I think being melodramatic and dumping on himself is one of his ways of acting out / getting attention.

The more you indulge him and put your life on hold to bail him out of his deepest self-pity moments, the more this will be rewarded and encouraged. The more feeling sorry for himself works in getting the attention / consoling of others, the more he’ll do it.

Trust me, I know. I was pulling a variation of this for pretty much all my high school years (only not quite as dramatic and teary; more of the dark sarcasm variety. But when I’m off by myself, self pity sets in now and then. You get used to it. It can get addictive to. Its certainly easier and takes less work than trying to pull yourself up and make a change (which you must eventually do for yourself).

So don’t indulge him too much. I think “Go get a life” is a little harsh [Ren] but you’re gonna have to get him to realize that ultimately only he can help himself with this; you can’t take these steps for him.

Unless he really is bipolar. Which he may be. Though I would be skeptical of that. I have highs and lows like that, I’m kinda moody, but I wouldn’t call myself bipolar by any means. [Like most things, I think it’s overdiagnosed. Labelling oneself as having a Celebrity Ailment is certainly the over dramatic attention grabbing thing to do…]

But shit, he’s still 14? That’s an age when most people are locked in the “approval of others” phase and defining self-identity in terms of who you hang with or whatever. He should gradually begin individualizing himself as he matures. A few of are already getting there at 14. Most of us aren’t.

Yeah he’s pretty near 15 , now.Life is all about “being alone” to him and yet he allows me to read his online journal filled with stuff about “Well I think she likes me, she asked me out today…and I am getting more popular!” and then a day later it’s “She dumped me…said she wasn’t ready…and now people aren’t paying attention to me…” I wouldn’t complain here about this guy if it was just normal feeling sorry for oneself, it’s just aggravating that I offered all the advice that I could and he still chooses to condemn himself:fungah: Oh well, I’ll keep everything you all said, in mind and hopefully he learns to grow up…thanks.

Ah, Negative attention. Something i know of all too well. ><

Believe me, the best thing to do is to just sit him down, tell him to shut up, and smack some sense into him. I used to be like that, and believe me, it took a slap to my face to realize what I was doing. Not sure if it will help your friend as much as me, though…

I let myself drown in another person a couple of years ago; she was like you describe Justin, only more at the coldly sarcastic art. She used my niceness against me, I never dared to argue with her after she had broken down - in a store, after a supposed “You’re not listening to me!!!” session - and said she’d kill herself if I let her down. Then I was stuck with her for three and half a year, never daring to argue, just shutting up and toddling along. She’s out of my life now and I’m not letting her back in.
Do NOT let yourself be trapped in anything like that.

Weiila… You’re too kind, even to those who never learn.
Val, I’m surprised. I never thought you could have been through something like that.

I’ve felt that way plenty of times. It would have been nice if i had more friends at the time and which they wanted to go places with me and do things. I never really let people get too close to me or know how i’m feeling if im in the certain crappy mood, since i know it is pathetic to whine about how it feels, though i don’t remember many people actually wanting to know how i felt ;p. I am mostly over the depression i had now and i can talk about my past as i most likely do. I really for a long time was depressed about how i looked, guys never seemed interested in me, but maybe thats because i looked sad. Everyone wants the happy people > _ < but i understand that. Ahwhacks self in head My suggestion is just to do fun activities with him, and try not to have those sad discussions as in try to avoid them.

For many years, I’ve experienced many moments of doubt and regret, of self-loathing and of solitude. I only had a handful of friends, but I couldn’t talk about how I felt. I was always looking down on myself, isolated, lost in my thoughts. I hid under a cold mask, concealing my true self from those around me and only revealing it to those who had been able to see through the shell. I kept doubting everything… my skills, my abilities, my worth… But I refused to talk about it. I just wanted to be left alone. Now, the pain is long gone, and I have found peace and returned to who I once was.

I went through an angry stage and basically spent most of my time wanting to either die or to smash in the faces of people bullying me. Luckily though, I don’t get like that any more, and though I still can (and do) get depressed and angry with life in general, I think it’s just something that most people go through. And I’m not that much older than your friend, so give him a year or two.

Yeah LS, but everyone’s different I guess.I went through my stages a year/two years ago, but I never shared it with anyone and I came out fine (or so I hope to believe:kissy: ) it’s just my own personal experience adds onto the confusion of why he’s sharing it with me or anyone else.I never did, so I can’t relate.And some people just go through phases that are a lot stronger and more unpredictable than most.It’s difficult trying to comprehend the human mind:fungah: