Following up on Poke’s list of worst game ideas ever, I just have to share this lil’ game with ya’ll, despite it being fanfiction and this not being the media board. Don’t hurt me, I’m already undead after reading this.
Winter 28: Today I’m going to my Grandfather’s farm. It is located in the center of a bleak wasteland where the souls scream in torment, and the rivers flowed with living blood.
Winter 30: Took the other fork in the road in this time. Arrived at a placid farm amidst the rolling green hills. Found a skinned corpse hanging from a hook in the barn. The place is just like I remembered it!
Spring 12: Maria resisted my attempts to drain her blood and devour her soul. Her holy aura kept my hunger back. Try Nina tomorrow.
Summer 2: Found a cute puppy outside my farm today. Decided to turn him into a vicious hellhound. Current Dog Status: 1 head, 4 legs, 1 tail, and no special abilities.
Summer 21: Hurricane. The bounding rain striped the flesh from my bones like searing flames, and caused the dog to grow a third head. Progress!
Winter 10: Anne baked me a cake for Thanksgiving! Perhaps the lure of darkness has won her over.
Winter 11: Turned out to be a garlic cake. Half my face melted off. Wreaking bloody vengeance on Anne tomorrow.
“Summer 27: Wild dogs came at night to dig at my crops. Fido <font size=“5”><b><i>destroyed</b></i></font> them, leaving their desiccated corpses at the edges of my property as a warning. Shan’t have to repair fences from now on.”
I just thought that one word was just so well placed A dog named Fido DESTROYING other dogs. It’s just so badass
I love this. Infact, if I ever [STRIKE]kidnap[/STRIKE] have any children, I’ll be sure to read this to them every night as I [STRIKE]lock their cage[/STRIKE] tuck them in to bed.
Summer 24: Rain’s over. While walking in the woods, hoping to supplement my crops with wild berries, I met a magical pixie that offered to turn my tools to solid gold. Tasted like chicken.
Winter 24: Star Festival. Devoured Erin’s soul, drank her blood, and embraced her. Much neater than this courting business. We’re getting married on the 26th.
Winter 26: Burst into flames upon entering church. Will settle for common law marriage until satanic cult fully established.
This made me giggle. It felt good.
A dog named Fido DESTROYING other dogs. It’s just so badass 
That was AWESOME.