Jessica Simpson

I could name half a dozen singers you’ve never heard of before who make her sound like shit in contrast (like Maaya Sakamoto), or I could just say “everyone not her,” which works because it’s true.

I could care less about the range of her vocals if she uses them poorly. If I made a profession out of whining like she does I could hit those notes too.

A Kazoo has “tremendous range.” That doesn’t mean it sounds good. Ever hear bagpipes? They can hit higher notes than Christina can. Is it pleasant? You decide. She’s simply not gifted with a pleasant voice. She may not feel any strain hitting those notes, but my ears sure fucking do, and the synthetic electronic noise she sings over doesn’t help to flatter her skills either.

Hell, Christina’s not the only one with this problem. Ayumi Hamasaki has a far higher range than her, but still sounds terrible at some points because she just can’t create a soft, beautiful, singing voice like, say, Noriko Mitose can. Her voice is just too sharp, like needles in my ears.

The reason I’m using japanese singers for comparison is because frankly, there aren’t many non-shitty female english singers out there. I can only think of a few, like Sarah Brightman (she sang Dance of the Diva from The Fifth Element. Just wow.) and Sheryl Crow.

Okay, name people, and give me some songs to listen too and I’ll be the judge. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. But until you actually contribute physical/digital proof of their greatness than don’t even waste my time. Put up or shut up.

She hardly whines either; when does she whine? I mean come on, unless you’re actually going to put thought and cite actual times she whines or “sucks”, then once again - shut it.

A kazoo doesn’t have tremendous range, it makes a humming sound. And yes, I have heard Bagpipes, a friend of mine is Scottish and I partied at one of his scottish festival things. I even designed my own little tie thing that shows my house/clan thing. For one thing, you can’t compare different instruments to each other, because different instruments aren’t designed to sound the same, they’re designed to work together to create one sound. If all instruments sounded the same, what would be the point?

The actual music she sings over isn’t in conflict here, the synthesized beats/whatever aren’t very creative or musically inclined, but whe she uses actual instruments then that’s when her music shines.

So, provide me with some sort of proof of these other singer’s incredible skills, or just go away.

As far as Japanese singers go, I would imagine that due to the immense differences in the English and Japanese languages that the singing styles (breathing patterns and such) would be completely different. I don’t really know, since I don’t pay attention to that sort of thing, but I can imagine.

Also, what about Charolotte Church? Or Diana Krall? Or Norah Jones? Alaniss Morissette? Alecia Keys? All very talented musicians, three of whom play their own pianos, one who is 15 and sings a sort of Opera style and the last who is just a very talented singer, which they all are regardless.

Like I already said, Sarah Brightman - Dance of the Diva.
Yasunori Mitsuda - Radical Dreamers. (End Credits song from Chrono Cross. It’s VGM and it still shitifies Christina.)
Maaya Sakamoto - Kiseki no Umi.
Sheryl Crow - Strong Enough.

They’re all better. If you deny it, I’m just gonna like… go AWAY and never talk to you about music again :stuck_out_tongue:

And yeah, Charlotte Church kicks ASS. I don’t know about some of the other ones, but Alecia keys is kinda mleh. Alaniss Morisette, from what I’ve heard, is about as bad as Christina.

How about you get on the chat and send me these because I have no clue where to look for the Japanese stuff. The Sheryl Crow song I’ve heard and will comment on now.

Now, I like Sheryl Crow, she’s a cool chick and a talented musician, but she is not as talented a singer as Christina. I mean seriously, listen to some of the songs, she just can’t hit the same notes that Christina can, and Sheryl doesn’t even try, which sort of makes her music better. Granted that Sheryl plays her own guitar, which is a plus over Christina, but here we’re talking about pure vocal logistics.

My mom’s got a Sarah Brightman record with that song on it, and it’s good, but once again, she doesn’t have the same power that Christina does.

I’ve heard that saying something in Japanese with the wrong tone makes it a different word then what you had in mind. I mean tone as in high or low or pitch do i mean?, must suck if you were to have a cold then. Must be easier for them to learn and sing music correctly even the first time maybe.

I think she does. And Christina hasn’t shown much talent, so I can’t even compare her to Sheryl.

Baggy tops and bras that don’t push your breasts up to your neck work nicely.

Ahh Sarah Brightman. Now THAT’S a voice. Right up there with Enya (and thus kicking all the blonde bombshells out of the market, IMO ;P)

GSM-wasn’t that chinese?

^ _ ^; actually I dont remember but either Chinese or Japanese. No I am not saying they are the same, just I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. ;p

I liked the first part of Dance of the Diva where it’s opera-like. I didn’t like the second part where they try to blend a techno melody into it. It comes off like taking a sample of Beethoven and making a techno song out of it.

It’s Chinese. More specifically, the Mandarin dialect

Wha? I just skimmed through…you aren;t talking about the opera scene from the 5th Element, are you?

Ah thanks, sorry I got it wrong. Yeah pretty sure thats whats being talked about. I liked that actually and didn’t mind it going technoish since thats what I like, didn’t know that was Sarah Brightman.

Me either. I knew she sang opera before she turned pop-ish, but I had no idea it was her. That was an amazing little number and I always used to listen to it.

I didn’t know it was her either.

A little sidenote - I only noticed after seeing The Fifth Element for , like, the 4th time on TV a couple weeks ago that the curtain closes over the Earth, not her.

Christina has shown vocal talent, I just can’t quite figure out why you don’t hear it - either it’s you being tone deaf or just ignorant, the talent is there for all to see.

meh. If you have boobs (whether they’re store bought or not) you can feel free to flaunt them. I don’t have much boob envy going on.

Sarah Brightman and Enya are cool. I should acquire more Sarah Brightman songs now that I think about it… All I have are Who Wants to Live Forever (remake of the Queen song) and her duet with Andrea Bocelli.

In-fucking-credible!! I don’t know how you people come up with your topics… :stuck_out_tongue: goddamn Jessica Simpson sucks ass just like all those other popsinger/ettesblahblahbullshit…
Nelly FurtadoOooooohi’mproudofmyportugeserootssoillmakeaeuro2004songthatsucksass & that Avril Lavigneblahlookatmeimaskaterchickblah are probably the only things I like considering female singers or whatever you wanna call it…

Good. Just make one for Christina insulting her voice and I’ll be your friend forever :stuck_out_tongue:

I am here to suit your needs…


for a really good females voice check and download the ‘Burning Angel’ song off of the ‘Wages of Sin’ album…

Arch enemy _ award of excellence for damage

Seems to me dumb or no, she’s laughing all the way to the bank. So who is the real stupid one Her or the people that pay her$$?