...I'm fighting a WHAT?!

Okay. Tales of Destiny. Just got this game recently (thanks again, Wil.) been getting pretty far in the game, love it.

And then, I see this one enemy. I stare. I gape. I pause, and read its name several times hoping I’m wrong.

This thing is the dumbest, most disgusting, and downright regrettable thing I have ever had to fight in a game. And probably ever will.

…God, I feel stupid even saying it.

…A Placenta. I WAS FIGHTING A GODDAMNED PLACENTA.

This… It just left me speechless. I’m still kind of giggling in horrified fascination at this. It wins. I don’t know what it wins, but it definitely wins.

…WHY AM I FIGHTING FLYING PLACENTAE?! WHY?!

Afterbirth Attack!!!

9999 damage.

What did it look like?

A floating pile of tissue, basically. In other words, close enough to be considered a Placenta.

There is an enemy called “Placenta”, and it looks like this:

I actually think that’s a mistranslation, though. Although there does seem to be some kind of fascination with it, because there’s also ghost babies:

shudders

Panzer Dragoon Saga’s first boss is a giant cock’n’balls monster that ejaculates red sperm when it dies.

Pure awesome.

That sounds pretty tasty there. mmmm

…and I thought fighting “Nipple Yankers” in Lunar:SSS was wrong.

Let’s not forget the larvae thing towards the end of Shadow Hearts, which looks like a condom.
And those white doll things in the same game… I keep trying to tell myself “Those are tails. Tails. TAILS!”
But they’re in the wrong direction.

Every single monster in Shadow Hearts was the product of an extremely sick mind.

By the way, I’m fairly sure the enemy mentioned above should have been “Presenter”. 8p Still doesn’t explain away the ghost baby though.

DAMN YOU ESKER, AND DAMN YOUR FLESHY BLOODY (non-existing) WOMAN BITS!

(Went and wiki’d the stuff, I may have a good vocabulary, but NOT THAT SPECIFIC ONE of a vocab…)

Touché. It’s always fun to show visitors those naked women standing on their hands and attacking with a stick with an impaled brain… the stick which they hold with their toes.

And here I thought that the incubi in SMT:Nocturne were wrong, all they have going for them is a gigantic spotted wang

The weirdest enemy I’ve fought is those green things that look like a penis with red tentacles coming out of them from the Growlanser games.

Well hell. And here i was giggling at the “Golem” Gnosis in XS, because they look like they have giant wangs. I’ve been playing the wrong games.

Hahahhaa. I remember those white monsters with the huge uhh… phallic thing coming out of their crotch area.

R-Type Final.

One of the most strangest sexually-innuendo’ed game. Especially for it’s genre. From fighting penis monsters to penetrating a vagina cave and shooting down the invading condom ball. Hell, there’s even sex (or at least foreplay) in the final chapters in the background.

Ooh, ooh! Cho Aniki! Oh lord, Cho Aniki. That entire series is just so… wrong.